Sanctuary

"Why don't we just go back to my dorm?" Taryn suggested. She and her Ethics group were outside the dining hall, debating where to go next. No one really wanted to go to the library again. "We have study tables out in our lobby."

They all agreed, strolling outside and towards Radnor. "So what are you doing this weekend, New Girl?" Shane asked. He seemed genuinely interested, no semblance of a smirk on his face like usual.

"Um, we're actually having a Girls' Movie Night tonight on our floor," Taryn said, shoving his shoulder as he pretended to gag. "And then I'm running a 5k in the morning...probably going out with Hallie tomorrow night. Things have kind of been tense with us lately."

"Hallie. She's the pretty blond girl you're always with?" Danielle said as they pushed open the front doors of Radnor.

"Yeah, she's my roommate."

"She's nice. I think she was in my bio lecture last year," Shae said with a smile. "Very friendly."

"Yeah, I love her. We're going out, so that should be fun. And then...working all day on Sunday. Like always."

"Remember when you said you felt like you'd never quite fit in here?" Shae joked. "You seem pretty comfortable to me."

Taryn blushed, forgetting that she had said that. She remembered her first few days, but a month in and it was true; she already felt at home here. More at home than she'd probably ever felt anywhere. She didn't know how, but she somehow knew that this was where she belonged. At least for now. She had found her home.

They stepped off the elevator onto Taryn's floor, making themselves at home on one of the tables along the window. Taryn pulled out her computer, logging in and opening a blank document. "Soooo. What do we actually have to get done tonight?"

"Let's just write up...the introduction," Danielle said, glancing at the syllabus. "She gave us an unusually long time to do this project. So we can space things out, I guess."

"The intro has to be what? A page?" Shane asked, throwing his Ethics folder onto the table from his bag.

"Yeah..." Taryn said, looking over the articles they had been given.

"Hey, what's up, guys?" Alex said, coming around the corner. He held a green folder in his hand and paused to greet the table.

"Hey," Taryn said with a warm smile. "How are you?"

"Good," he said, returning the smile and nodding his head at her computer. "What are you guys working on?"

"An ethics project," Taryn explained. "This is Shane, Danielle, and Shae."

"Hey, I'm Alex," he introduced himself. "And...I'm late. But it was nice meeting you guys. Taryn, I'll talk to you later." He rushed off, like he usually did, never really on time for anything.

"Okay! Do you want to go get milkshakes at the diner later?" she suggested. Since they had started talking more and more, she had begun to like him a little. Not a lot, considering his flirty nature. But she was attracted to his outgoing nature.

"Oh, um, I'm actually hanging out with Kelly later," he said. Kelly was one of the girls that often worked the front desk. "We can chill afterwards though."

"Oh," Taryn said, her face burning. "Yeah, okay. I'll just see you later then." She turned back down to her computer screen, her heart thumping. God, that was embarrassing. Shae watched her for a minute, averting his eyes when she looked up.

Alex left, and Taryn returned her focus to the project. Where it should've stayed in the first place.

***

The next morning at breakfast, Hallie and Taryn sat alone at a small table at the back of the dining hall. Hallie had suggested it, surprising Taryn after their few days of awkward tension. She had agreed, hoping to avoid any arguments so early on. She really liked Hallie as a roommate and hoped everything was okay. Hallie was the last person she wanted to grow apart from.

"So I've been acting really immature lately," Hallie said as she sat down with her turkey wrap. "And I'm really sorry."

"You haven't done anything wrong," Taryn said, trying to play it off.

"Yeah, but I've been making stupid jabs at you just because you hooked up with Shane and it's not fair. It was just surprising for me, but it's no excuse to act like a bitch."

"Hallie," Taryn said with a smile. "You are not, nor have ever been, a bitch to me."

"I feel like I have been over the last few days. And I think I know why, but it's my own issue, and - "

"Is everything okay?" Taryn said, reaching for her glass of water and taking a sip.

"Yeah, it's so dumb. But it's been eating at me and making me act jealous and mean."

Taryn raised her eyebrows. "Well, you have to tell me now!" she joked. Hallie sighed, throwing her head back.

"God, I'm such a drama queen," Hallie said. "Trust me, it's not that big of a deal."

"Well, it clearly is, if it's affecting your mood!"

"Promise not to tell anyone, okay?"

Taryn held out her pinky, insanely curious as Hallie linked hers to it. Hallie was so composed all the time, and her life seemed so amazingly perfect. What could possibly be bothering her this much?

"I sort of have this thing for Parker," Hallie blurted out.

Taryn blinked, momentarily taken aback. What?

"I've been friends with him since high school. And I'm in love with him."

"Hallie!" Taryn scoffed. "I had no idea!" She had to admit, she wasn't exactly surprised. They seemed pretty close. But Hallie was always so eager to go out and she had so many attractive guy friends. Parker seemed like her younger brother in comparison.

"He doesn't know," she rambled. "And I don't want him to. But whenever we go out, part of me always hopes that his drunk self will confess something for me. But it's useless because I know there's nothing there. I just can't stop hoping, you know?" She paused, taking a deep breath. Taryn reached across the table, grabbing her roommate's hand and offering a warm smile. She had never seen Hallie this worked up, and it sort of worried her. But she knew that Hallie was taking a leap of faith in trusting her, and she wasn't about to shut her out.

"No one knows?" Taryn said. Hallie shook her head, her cheeks flushed.

"God, I hate being like this," she said, laughing and burying her face in her hands. "But he's one of my best friends. I can't just say goodbye to him and move on."

"You can't help who you like," Taryn offered.

"I know. It just sucks because I can't turn it off even though I really, really want to."

"It'll be okay. I'm sure he knows how important he is to you."

"I hope so. And that's kind of why I was so weirdly jealous of you and Shane. For once, I want that. With Parker."

"You want to have sex with Parker?" Taryn joked. "He's a guy. If you walked up to him and proposed the idea, I'm sure he wouldn't object."

"No," Hallie laughed. "I want him to surprise me. And like me enough to want to be with me. Alone."

"Hallie," Taryn said. "You're a beautiful girl."

"So are you," Hallie responded. "And I'm just so embarrassingly jealous. You like Shane, and he likes you back. Why can't I have that?"

"Wait," Taryn said, holding her hands up. "I don't like Shane."

"You don't?"

"Not like that," Taryn said. "He's hot but...I don't know. He's unpredictable. I don't really feel anything for him."

"Oh. Wow," Hallie laughed. "I feel like such a dumbass now."

"Don't. Just promise me you won't reference my relationships anymore. They're a mess," Taryn laughed. She couldn't believe that Hallie was confessing all of this jealousy. It was weird, usually the other way around for Taryn.

"Okay, deal." Hallie said with a smile. "Wow. I actually feel a lot better. Thank you so much. I guess it helps just to put things out there."

"I'm always here," Taryn said supportively. "And don't give up hope. We're only sophomores in college. Don't fret. We'll have plenty of time to connect with soul mates later on." Of course, Taryn didn't necessarily believe that. She didn't believe in soul mates. Or love, even. She hadn't since senior year of high school, when that whole fiasco went down.

Hallie nodded. "So true. Oh, I got this in a care package today," Hallie said, reaching into her bag. "And I figured since you've been such an amazing roommate, you would like it."

She held out a black notebook, accented with purple designs along the spine. "It's a journal. And I know you like to write, so I wanted to give you a place to write for yourself. You know, that no one else has to see. Unless you want them to," she added.

Taryn squealed, flipping through the journal and reaching across the table to hug her roommate. "Hallie, I love it! Thank you so much!"

"Of course. Thanks again for being there. It's crazy how much I feel like I can trust you after only a month here," Hallie said.

"Same! My old roommate and I never clicked like this. So it's great," Taryn said, sliding the journal into her purse. "You're amazing. Thank you."