Sanctuary

She pushed through the brush, stepping into the clearing for the....fifth time now. She was alone this time, a drawstring backpack secured on her shoulders. She pulled her zip-up hoodie tighter around her as she adjusted to the drastic temperature change in the shade. It was Wednesday afternoon, the week before homecoming. Classes had been cancelled for the next two days in honor of Parents' Weekend, a yearly event that invited all parents to spend a few days on campus with their children. Taryn had neglected to tell her parents, of course, but justified it to her conscience on the basis that she had just seen them for lunch two weeks before.

She shook her head. She couldn't believe that it had been two weeks already since lunch. Having recently been slammed with coursework, including that daunting Ethics project that was due last week, she had been forced to buckle down and focus on her grades. She had stayed in for the past two weekends, deciding to stick close to Hallie and her friends in the hopes of keeping herself from getting into anything she didn't want to. But finally, FINALLY, she had a solid few days to breathe and relax before the epic Homecoming celebration on Saturday.

She brushed off one of the old picnic tables, sitting down and unknotting her bag. She pulled out the journal Hallie had given her, clicking her pen and biting her lip. She tried to get comfortable, like she always did before she started writing.

"10/15/13,

You don't know me, and you don't have to. You're not even a real person. So I guess it makes what I'm about to tell you that much easier. I don't have to worry about you talking down to me, or judging me, or telling me I'm just overreacting. Hallie gave me this journal, and although I should be smart and actually write something that might be published someday, I've decided against it. It's been over two years since I've written something for me, so I figure this might be what's best at this point.

I've been at Brighton for a little under two months now. I love it here, but I can't shake the feeling that my past keeps creeping up on me. And until I get it out - completely out - I won't be able to rest.

So I guess that's where I'll start - junior year of high school."

She looked up, stretching out her wrist and breathing in a gulp of woodsy air. It instantly calmed her shaky nerves.

"I met Ryan at soccer team tryouts. The guys' team had been practicing on the adjacent field and after one too many times of accidentally kicking his ball to our side, he introduced himself to me. He was new to the district, a transfer from a local Catholic school. It amazed me how quickly I fell for him. He was quiet, but his charm was overwhelming. He seemed to have eyes only for me, and the attention made me feel invincible. He asked me out before Christmas and the rest was history. We dated all through that summer and our honeymoon stage seemed like it wouldn't end."

She sniffled, choking back a sudden onset of tears. She was even surprised herself by how strong her emotions were just recalling her initial happiness.

"He was my first everything. I was the definition of a wallflower before he noticed me and ever since, my confidence hasn't wavered. I suppose that's the only good that came out of this situation.

A year after we started dating, he told me he loved me. I felt like the luckiest girl in the world that night. And in the weeks that followed, we only got closer. I told him my deepest thoughts, my dreams. By the end, he knew everything about me."

Her mind flashed back to the bracelet he had given her. She had worn that thing religiously. Believed so strongly in that dumb piece of metal.

"It wasn't until spring break of senior year that I began to notice a change. He began cancelling almost all of our plans. Out of nowhere. And my best friend, Kelsey, began doing the same thing. I may have been naïve, but I wasn't a dumbass. They both tried to cover it up - until I stumbled across a bracelet in my best friend's dresser drawer. It was buried in the back, behind a pile of socks I was borrowing from. It was identical to mine.

My heart nearly broke in two that day. My perfect relationship - rather, relationships - came crashing down and the world was no longer in the palm of my hand.

I confronted him the next day, and he confessed. That was probably the worst part. That he didn't even try to salvage our relationship. That he didn't care enough to apologize, or try and spare my feelings. He didn't love me. He loved my best friend. And it didn't stop there."

She slammed the journal closed, choking back a sob and squeezing her eyes shut. Her hand throbbed, and she jammed the heels of her wrists into her eye sockets, rubbing them and willing herself not to cry anymore. She took a few more deep breaths, glancing at her phone. Two hours had passed since she had sat down. The orange glow of the sun was lowering in the sky, and she pursed her lips together as she shoved the journal back into her bag. That was enough for today.

***

The next morning, Taryn and Hallie woke up early to meet Hallie's parents for breakfast. Taryn hadn't seen much of Hallie's parents, considering Hallie had basically moved herself in on the basis of what she had deemed "independence". But Taryn had heard of them, and by the way Hallie gushed about them, she was totally excited to meet them.

They met Hallie's parents outside of Radnor, the morning sunlight casting a beautiful glow behind them. Taryn was astonished at how...perfect they looked. Hallie was a beautiful girl, and she could see where she got it from. Her mother didn't look a day over 30, with a gleaming white smile and perfectly coiffed blond hair in a bun on her head. Her father was handsome, a little scruff growing on the underside of his chin and his clothes perfectly tailored to fit his lean body. They grinned as the girls emerged, holding plastic bags from the school store.

"Hello, girls," her mother's smooth voice greeted them. She gave both girls a hug, and Taryn found herself relieved at how welcoming Mrs. Ferris was. Her flowery perfume enveloped the air around them, and as they began walking towards town, Taryn easily fell into step with Hallie's family. She found that talking to them was easy, as if she were Hallie's sister and had known them from birth.

Through the course of the afternoon, the group strolled around town as Hallie and Taryn told endless stories about their year at Brighton so far. Taryn was surprised at herself for how quickly she opened up to Hallie's parents. She had only met them that day, but had a sudden and childish wish to have been adopted by them. She shook the thought from her mind, thinking of her father and brother and how their love should've overshadowed the lack thereof from her mother. But she couldn't help envying what Hallie had, even though she knew deep down that there were kids who had it worse.

By the end of the night, Taryn had a sinking feeling that this issue with her mother needed to be solved. She was still angry - furious, even - for many reasons, but at this point, she knew that she would have to put her anger aside if she wanted to salvage the relationship. Taryn was stubborn, but her mother was even more so. Both would have to put their egos aside for the time being, and Taryn knew that they would get nowhere if she weren't the one to initiate it.