Sanctuary

A few days later, Taryn sat with Matt, Parker, Hallie, Maggie, and Audrey in the lobby, spread across the large table with books, lined paper, crumpled pages, and computers. There were officially three weeks left before finals, and they were all starting to regret having left their massive term papers until now.

"This is such bullshit," Parker groaned, throwing his head down onto the table. Hallie rubbed his back supportively, pouting.

"It could be worse," Taryn piped up as Parker lifted his head. He scoffed.

"Thank you, Little Miss Sunshine," he shot back with a smirk. "You can write my paper, then."

"Um, no, I have my own shit to worry about," she said, holding up her notes. "I have a ten page paper due in....six hours. And I only have half of it done."

"At least you don't have a hundred calc problems," Audrey said, motioning to her textbook. "My brain is going to implode in about three seconds."

"Why do I feel like none of us are going to get anything done?" Matt joked, squinting as his laptop screen. "Last time I checked, sitting her complaining does nothing for anyone."

"Speak for yourself," Maggie quipped. "I got our sociology professor to extend a due date just by complaining to him in front of the whole class. They all joined in and by the sheer beauty of peer pressure, he caved. It was a beautiful thing."

"Only you would consider peer pressure a good thing," Audrey joked. "All I know is that I'm starving. I haven't gotten a single problem done in ten minutes, and my stomach won't quit."

"Spontaneous food run?" Matt said, closing his laptop and glancing around the table. In agreement, they began packing up their belongings, shoving things haphazardly into bags and pretending that this wasn't just another form of procrastination.

The elevator door chimed, sliding open. Alex strolled out, followed by a petite blonde. She clutched a notebook to her chest, her Vera Bradley backpack slung over one shoulder.

"Yo, what's up, guys?" he said. "How's the studying going?"

"It's not," Hallie said, watching as he locked eyes with Taryn. Taryn glanced at the ground, biting her lip as she threw her backpack over one shoulder.

"We're going to get food. You can come if you want," Taryn offered quietly, a hopeful smile playing on her lips.

"Thanks, but I'm gonna get some work done. This is Kelly," he said, finally stepping aside to introduce the girl behind him.

"Hi," she said sweetly, flashing her bright smile and combing her hair back. "I think I've seen some of you before. I work down at the desk." Taryn and her friends nodded politely as they smiled at her. Taryn definitely recognized her. She was the youngest and prettiest desk assistant, hard to pass over as you looked at her.

"Okay, so...we'll see you later," Hallie said quickly, striding confidently toward the elevators and pushing the button to summon one.

Alex and Kelly moved on, heading for his room. Taryn tried not to listen as he muttered something, causing her to giggle. Taryn heard his door being unlocked and the two of them entering. Kelly laughed again as he shut the door, muffling their conversation.

The elevator doors slid open and Taryn piled inside with her friends, pursing her lips and staring at the ground. Her mind fogged over, thinking back to when she had last talked with Alex. Before the break. Things had been awkward, yes, but everything was okay. So why did seeing him with Kelly make her heart pound?

She felt someone's foot nudge her calf and she turned her head, locking eyes with Hallie. Her roommate lifted her eyebrows in a knowing glance, shaking her head ever so slightly. Almost as if to say she knew what Taryn was thinking and that she didn't like it. Taryn turned away, trying to focus back on her friends' mindless chatter as they exited the elevator on the ground floor.

Her phone lit up with a text and she hurriedly pulled it out. It was from Hallie reading "he's an asshole. forget him." She bit her lip again, putting her phone away and training her eyes on the ground. She knew Hallie was just trying to help, but it wasn't like Taryn could control her feelings. She couldn't help that she liked him, and she couldn't help that seeing him with Kelly made her jealous. She was starting to feel a bit anxious, the way she always got when people undermined her feelings. All of a sudden, she wasn't too hungry anymore.

***

"12/3/13

Things had gotten bad."

She paused, leafing through the pages and pages of handwriting that she'd created over the last few months. She hated being at a loss for words. Hated it, especially when it came to writing. Maybe she could begin writing about the present. Or her hopes for the future, even.

"Taryn?" she heard a voice call through the clearing. She whipped her head around, just now realizing how dark and cold it had gotten. She pulled her jacket closer around herself and squinted at the tree line. A blond head stumbled towards her as it tripped on branches and stumbled through leaves.

"Taryn?"

"I'm right here," she called, standing up and shutting the journal. She shoved it in her bag and slid out from the picnic table, reaching for Hallie in the dim light.

"Jeez, I was so worried! It's almost dark!"

"Sorry. I just...got carried away. Sometimes I forget that the sun sets earlier now," Taryn said as they began walking toward the entrance.

"I thought maybe you had fallen in a creek or something," Hallie laughed. "You know, like those horror stories from the kids your brother used to hang out with."

"I think that creek dried up years ago," Taryn giggled. "Besides, I think I'm at a much greater risk for Lyme's disease."

"Jesus, don't even go there," Hallie scolded playfully. "I'm checking you for ticks when we get back."

"Like hell," Taryn laughed, stepping out of the clearing and onto the dirt path. She and Hallie fell into step, quiet for a few moments against the hum of crickets and cicadas.

"So i talked to Parker today," Hallie said. Taryn looked over at her, unable to read her roommate's expression. She couldn't tell if that were necessarily a good or bad thing.

"And?"

"He actually needed help. Emotional help, I mean. Theresa blew him off."

"Hallie," Taryn said, cocking her head. She could tell that her roommate was trying to hide her duping delight at the idea of Parker and Theresa going their separate ways.

"What? He needed someone to talk to, and it just so happened he trusted me enough."

"I know I'm a huge hypocrite for saying this, but forget about him. You deserve someone better than that. You're Hallie Ferris, for God's sake. You're no one's second choice."

"I know. And I'm not his second choice. I've decided I'm content on being his best friend and nothing more."

"You're sure?" Taryn said skeptically. She was starting to understand the frustration that Hallie went through every time she tried to talk Taryn out of Alex. It was a vicious cycle.

"Yeah. I'm always going to want him, but I'd rather have him in my life than not at all," Hallie said earnestly.

"I just hope you don't let yourself down because of him," Taryn said, looking over at her. "Keep me posted, okay?"

"Of course," Hallie said with a wide grin, throwing her arm around Taryn's shoulder. "This is going to get a lot better."

Taryn bit her lip, desperately fighting the urge to remind Hallie how much pain Parker had caused her back at the coffeehouse that one night. But she knew that her arguments had no ground, considering she herself kept running back at Alex, who couldn't have cared less about her.

Oh, how the world worked in funny ways.