Sanctuary

She pushed through the glass door, frowning as she narrowly avoided yet another happy couple on the steps of the science building. It was Valentine's Day, or Singles' Awareness Day, as Taryn liked to call it. One of her least favorite days of the year, a Hallmark holiday that only emphasized how alone she really was. Maybe she was just bitter, but for whatever reason, she couldn't help but grit her teeth every time she saw someone with a rose or a box of chocolate or some equally unoriginal Valentine's Day present.

"Taryn!" she heard someone behind her call. She turned around, pulling her earbuds out of her ears as Shane jogged up beside her. She was on her way back to Radnor where she was meeting Hallie for lunch. Parker had finally gotten up the nerve to ask Hallie to dinner for Valentine's Day, and Taryn knew her roommate was ecstatic. Despite her own hatred of the day, she couldn't wait to see Hallie gushing over her date with Parker. Hallie deserved it. She truly did.

"Hey!" she greeted him warmly as he caught up. "How have you been?"

"Not so good, actually," he said slowly. "But you beat me to it. I was coming to ask you how your Valentine's Day was going." He pulled on the straps of his backpack, his face partially hidden by the snapback situated on his head.

"Pretty well, actually," she said, putting up a front. She wanted nothing more than to be honest with Shane, but with recent events, she was playing her cards close. She didn't know when Dan or Ryan would show up again, or with whom, and it made her incredibly nervous.

"Oh," he said, seemingly dejected.

Taryn nudged his shoulder, raising her eyebrows at him. "What's going on?"

"I was hoping I had someone to share my misery with," he joked.

"Dude, what happened? You and Kylie were golden last time I checked," Taryn said, running her fingers through her loose curls.

"Were. She sat me down last week and made it clear that she didn't want a relationship."

"Oh, I'm so sorry," Taryn said as she turned the corner toward Radnor. Shane followed, shoving his hands into his jacket pockets.

"It's fine. I'm starting to think I'm not ready for a relationship, either," he said, shrugging. "Besides, isn't this the best time of our lives to be single?"

"I'm glad you're realizing this on Valentine's Day," Taryn joked cynically as they maneuvered around a couple holding hands and walking painfully slow.

"Seriously. One-man drinking games at my house later," he said, shaking his head and looking at his feet. "I'd invite you to join me in my misery if you didn't already have plans."

She paused, the only sound her boots hitting the pavement below them.

"I don't, actually."

"Have plans?" his face widened into a small, hopeful smile. "Dude, come hang out!"

"I don't know…I'm trying to not drink so much anymore…" she said slowly, trying to let him down easy.

"Okay, so we don't have to. Please?" he said, grabbing her wrist and looking at her. "I've been meaning to talk to you about something anyway."

Her heart thumped, cold air whipping her face as she studied his. Admittedly, she was curious.

"Okay."

***

Hallie jumped, hearing a sharp knock on the door. She stood up, peeking through the peephole before opening the door.

"Hey," she said, pulling the door open and letting Shae cross the threshold. "What's up? Taryn's not here…she's at the library printing some stuff for class."

"It's fine, I didn't come to talk to her," he replied, peeling off his jacket and beanie. He took a seat on Taryn's desk chair, turning to face Hallie. She propped herself back on her own bed, studying him and waiting for him to say something.

"I just wanted to ask you if she's alright."

"What do you mean? Did something happen?!" she rambled nervously.

"No, no," he said quickly. "I just…she seems off."

"She seemed alright at lunch a little while ago. Happy, even. She was excited for Parker and I…why? Did she say something to you?"

"No, that's the thing. Ever since she missed our study date, she hadn't answered any of my texts…and she wasn't in class today."

"Jeez, Shae, I have no idea. She seems perfectly fine to me…and I swear, she hasn't said anything about you." She pulled her blond hair back into a sloppy bun, biting her nail nervously.

"Okay. Can you just…text me or something? And let me know how she's doing? She doesn't want to talk to me for some reason, but I don't want me to be the reason she skips class and all that. I don't know what I did, but I'll back off if that's what she wants." He fiddled with his phone in his lap.

"Shae, that's not it, I'm sure. She's been really busy lately, and I know she's got some family stuff she's dealing with. She just…shuts people out when she gets stressed. It's what she does."

"You're right. I'm sorry. I just…thought she might have said something," he said slowly. "Sorry, it was dumb of me to come." He stood up, reaching for his jacket.

"No, it's fine. Seriously," Hallie said, walking towards him and putting a hand on his shoulder. "And I'm sure if she knew how much you cared, she'd really appreciate it. But trust me when I say she'll be fine. And she'll come around. She probably just doesn't want to hurt you."

He shrugged, furrowing his eyebrows in thought. "How in the world could she hurt me?"

***

Taryn tapped on Shane's door, praying that one of his house-mates wouldn't answer. She glanced back at the dark street. She didn't see any cars parked there and supposed that was a good sign.

"New Girl," he teased as he opened the door.

"Don't start that shit again," she said, shivering as she pushed past him into the house. "It's officially my second semester here, so I'm not new anymore."

"Debatable. But maybe I'm a nice guy anyway." She nodded sarcastically, sliding her jacket off and taking a seat on the couch. It was almost 9:00, but she was in no way tired. When she had left Radnor, Hallie was still out with Parker, and the halls were pretty quiet. As she had expected.

"So you wanted to talk?" Taryn asked, sliding her phone into her purse and kicking it off to the side. For the smartass that he was, he had seemed pretty on-edge earlier. And if he genuinely wanted her advice, she would try to give it to him.

"Yeah." He grabbed a beer off the end-table, popping the cap off and handing it to Taryn. He took a sip of his own, sitting next to her. The soft glow from the lamp in the corner cast shadows across his face as he contemplated what to say.

"I have a proposition for you."

Oh, dear God.

"Do I want to know?" she joked, turning to face him. She took a sip of her beer, ignoring the nagging voice in her head that told her not to drink.

"Remember how I said I'm not ready for a relationship?" She nodded, urging him to continue. "Well, you said you aren't, either, right?"

"Sure," she said, going along with what he said. And she supposed it was true, to a certain extent. God knew she didn't even know what she wanted at that moment in time.

"But we're both college students…with needs…and obvious chemistry…" he said, leaning closer to her as his voice dropped to almost a whisper.

"Are you fucking kidding me?" she scoffed, shoving his shoulder. "Seriously, is this a joke or something?" She nearly laughed at the surprised look on his face.

"What?" he said innocently.

"Friends with benefits…really, now?!"

"So it's crossed your mind…" he teased, taking a sip. "So it's not totally out there."

"Yeah, it is. That's such bullshit."

"What?! Friends with benefits?"

"Yeah," she scoffed, placing her beer on the coffee table. "That doesn't work."

"For most people. But for us, it could." She could tell he truly believed that. Which sort of scared her.

"No. You can't have sex with someone and expect neither person to become emotionally invested."

"Taryn," he said, grabbing her hand. "Stop being rational for a second and just look at us. We've slept together before, and we've carried out outside relationships and been totally fine about it." She bit her tongue as she fought to laugh at the absurdity. If only he could read her mind.

"It won't work."

"But it's worth a shot, yeah?" He smirked at her. "And if you decide to eventually hate me, we'll stop. Whenever you say the word."

She bit her lip, staring into his eyes as her mind raced. She couldn't believe she was seriously considering this, but he had a point. She would sleep with only him, thereby controlling herself and not risking any emotional investment. And neither would say a word, meaning Hallie and Shae couldn't try for another intervention. And like he said, he would agree to stop when she wanted to. She had control of this. She could do this.

"I hate you sometimes, you know that?" she said, nodding with a smirk. He squeezed her hand, standing up and bringing her with him. They headed upstairs, pausing outside his bedroom.

"No, you don't."

"I do."

He pushed her against the doorframe, her heart racing as he leaned in. "No, you don't. If that were true, you wouldn't be here." And with that, his lips met hers and she let him pull her in.