Sanctuary

“So how are you?” Shae asked, sitting down at a table outside the science buildings. They were back on campus, spring break replaced with a rude awakening that there were still three weeks of school left before finals. It was a gorgeous day, and after running into each other by the library, Shae and Taryn had opted to grab some pizza before their next classes.

“Pretty good,” Taryn said, taking a sip of her iced tea. “How was your break?”

“Pretty insane. I went to some skate clinics and spent a lot of time at the pier with Danielle. Other than that, not much. Not as fun as yours, I bet.” He raised his eyebrows at her with a knowing smile.

“Oh, moreso. I didn’t do anything,” she said, taking a bite of pizza and avoiding his gaze. She chewed thoughtfully, Shae watching her as she swallowed and continued. “Seriously. I think the highlight was helping my brother and Stacie plan their wedding.”

“So you didn’t see Hallie or Alex or Shane or anyone?”

She squinted slightly before shaking her head profusely. “Nope. No one was really around. I haven’t seen Shane since I’ve been back, come to think of it.”

“I’m sure he’ll show up eventually,” Shae said, not missing a beat. Good. He hadn’t noticed her bluff.

“Enough about him,” Taryn said, waving her hand through the air. “How’s the girl situation for you? You have to have met a cute skater girl lately.”

“A few,” he admitted, smiling to himself. “But nothing that really panned out.”

“Maybe Danielle scares them off?” Taryn suggested, trying to be helpful. “She’s with you an awful lot, so maybe they get the wrong idea.”

“Yeah, I guess I never thought about that. But Danielle’s always hanging out with Ryan Cox. He’s a super douchey rival skater, and he definitely has a thing for her.”

“Then you need to turn up the charm, dude!” Taryn teased, gently kicking his foot under the table. “Stop getting pizza with me and starting asking these girls out!”

“Maybe,” he said slowly, glancing around at the crowds of students milling around. “I don’t really like the shallow attention though. It gets old, you know?”

“Oh, definitely,” she said, her stomach in knots. No, she didn’t really know, if her relapse into Shane’s graces were any indication.

“I don’t know. What’s meant to be will be. My perfect girl will show up when she’s ready.”

“I like the way you think. You’ll get everything you deserve someday, I’m sure of it,” Taryn said with a smile, crinkling up her napkin. “But until then, don’t sell yourself short! Don’t wait around for something to happen. Just go for it!”

“I know,” he admitted with a smile in return. “I’m working on it.”

“Alright, well I have a group meeting I need to get to before class,” Taryn said, quickly standing up and tossing her trash in the nearby garbage. “See you later for dinner with everyone?”

“Maybe!” he said, standing up and holding out his fist. She pounded it, hating how boyish the farewell gesture was. “See you later, Taryn.”

***

“Please tell me you and Stacie didn’t call off the wedding,” Taryn said, sliding into her brother’s passenger seat. He had called her the next afternoon, saying he had to talk to her about something. Something important, clearly, as he had come to pick her up and talk in person.

“We didn’t. Everything with Stace is great,” he said, a smile fleeting over his tired face. His normal excited demeanor seemed shadowed by whatever he was trying to tell her.

“James, what’s wrong? Seriously, you’re starting to scare me.”

“It’s nothing…life or death,” he started. “Dad didn’t want to scare you or anything, but I didn’t want you to hear this at the wedding or anything like that.”

Taryn’s heart accelerated as James continued, her mind fogging over as he rambled on and on about how her father had wanted to protect his little girl. She tuned him out, her mind racing as she replayed all the awkward encounters with her parents over the last few months. The forced conversation, the awkward pauses. All of it.

“They’re divorcing, aren’t they?” she blurted out, cutting James off mid-sentence. He stopped, momentarily take aback. By the look on his face, she knew she was right.

“Tare, look, I’m really sorry,” he said glumly. “It’s been a long time coming. I know you haven’t been home much, but they’ve been fighting an awful lot, and - ”

“James, it’s whatever. It’s not like I’m five years old and didn’t see this coming.” Her heart sank even as she spoke. Just because she had sort of seen it coming, didn’t mean it hurt less.

“Dad is heartbroken. He thinks he let both of us down, but I’ve been telling him for ages that he needs to make this decision for his own good.”

“Yeah, so he can get himself away from Mom’s crazy ass.”

“Come on, Tare, don’t be like that. Mom is just as upset as Dad is.”

“Which makes no sense, because she’s the cause of it all,” she said, tears welling up in her eyes. They were driving over a bridge, away from Brighton and towards a side of town she had never seen before. “She plays the goddamn victim all the time, but she’s miserable. She singlehandedly caused Dad’s pain.”

“There’s more to it, Tare. Realize that,” James said, his voice more forceful than she’d ever heard it. “Stop letting your personal issues with her get in the way of what’s really going on. Their marriage fell apart, and for some reason, they don’t love each other like they used to. No one is singlehandedly at fault for anything.”

She stayed silent, knowing that James was absolutely right. But it didn’t make her feel any less angry.

“I’m sorry I had to tell you this a few weeks before Stace and I get married. But I hope it makes you see that not all love is shot to hell,” James said quietly. “Just…please. Try and separate your anger with mom from the situation. The last thing she needs is for you to keep lashing out.”

She didn’t care if James was right or not. Even if it was, it didn’t change the way that Taryn’s mom had acted or treated her daughter. It wasn’t something that she could just “separate”. It didn’t work that way. And although she didn’t know for sure how the divorce would affect her family’s future, especially the wedding, she sure as hell knew that she couldn’t just put her mother’s actions behind her. That would take nothing short of a miracle.