Sanctuary

"Oh. My. God." Taryn's jaw dropped as Stacey emerged from the dressing room, floating as if in a dream.

The room went silent as all women in the room stopped to admire Stacey. Her long blond hair was beautifully done in a detailed and curly waterfall braid. Her strapless ballroom gown hung effortlessly from her body, her mid length veil touching just at her hips. Her eyes shone, her excitement evident.

Stacey's sister, Carla, was the first to break the teary silence. She squealed, throwing her arms around her older sister and gushing over how perfect she looked. And she really did. Despite Taryn's recent attempts to give up on her belief in love, she couldn't deny that something special was in the air that day. Both her brother and Stacey, separated since the night before, were giddy, as if they were young teenagers experiencing the rush of love for the first time. She had already received no less than fifteen texts from James since brunch, asking how Stacey was doing. Taryn hadn't answered, of course. He wasn't supposed to know.

She glanced at her phone as it lit up with a picture-text from James. She smirked at the photo, the groomsmen all bowing before her brother as he straightened his tie in his own dressing room. She stood up, adjusting her maroon bridesmaid dress and tucking a loose strand of hair behind her ear. T-minus 30 minutes until the ceremony.

"Okay ladies!" Stacey's mom called over the excited chatter. It took her a few minutes to gain all the girls' attention. "Let's move outside for pictures before we head for the church!"

Taryn smiled to herself as she filed out of the room with the other bridesmaids, wishing that most of her Brighton friends could have been here for this. She had convinced Shae, Danielle, and Shane to come to the reception (after promising to sneak them alcohol from behind the bar), but she was still missing Hallie, Parker, Matt, Audrey, Jocelyn, and even Maggie. They were her first real and solid group of friends, and she had never understood what that had meant until she had wished they were there. But alas, they all had other plans that they had deemed more important than Taryn's brother's wedding.

She shook her head, smiling encouragingly at Stacey as she joined the rest of the bridal party outside. Pictures were being taken in a gorgeous garden, alongside an old and beautiful horse barn. The owners of the property were old friends of Taryn's father, and had graciously agreed to let the bridal party take over for the day. And indeed they had.

It wasn't long before Taryn was shoving her way into a luxury SUV with the rest of the bridesmaids. The church was only a short drive away, and she gripped her phone nervously as she waited to arrive. Her stomach was in knots. Although the rehearsal the night before had gone smoothly, she was still terrified. This was the first wedding she had ever been in, and she sure as hell didn't want to mess it up.

***

"There she is!" Danielle called out. Hours later, Taryn strolled through the reception hall, grateful to hear her friends' familiar voices. The most fun part of the day had begun, and dinner was long over. After three glasses of champagne, Taryn was so ready to find her friends and just dance.

The ceremony had been beautiful, as expected, with many tears on her parents' behalf. Even Taryn had shed a few tears herself. At weddings, she was coming to realize, it was hard to play Scrooge. It truly was inspiring to hear everyone's kind words and wishes.

"Girl, I love your dress," Danielle gushed, twirling Taryn around so she could get a better look at it. Her bridesmaid dress was as practical as it was pretty, and she had easily been able to wear it to the reception.

"Thanks!" Taryn said, hugging Danielle and Shae. Danielle herself looked straight out of a magazine, her hair in loose, flowing waves and her flowery blue dress draped gracefully over her shoulders and down to her knees. Shae himself looked handsome, freshly shaved, sporting new khakis and a purple button-down shirt.

"This place is sick," Shae said, and Taryn nodded as she looked around. She had seen the reception tent back while helping Stacey plan the wedding, but she had never imagined how beautiful it would be once decorated. The reception was being held outdoors, a massive tent towering over the space. White-clothed round tables surrounded the dance floor, a massive clearing in the center of the room. The grass was faded there, as if to invite people to gather, illuminated by lanterns strung above the entire area. Late afternoon sunlight streamed in through the cracks in the tent fabric, casting a warm glow all around the room. It was truly stunning.

"Are we the only ones from Brighton here?" Shae asked, re-straightening his tie.

"And Shane. He was my date for the night," Taryn said quickly. She ignored Shae's questioning glance as she looked around the room. Speaking of Shane, she hadn't seen him in a while. Not since he had agreed to a game of catch with some of Taryn's younger cousins earlier.

"Was the ceremony amazing?!" Danielle said excitedly. She bit her lip, squeezing her hands together in anticipation. "God, I love weddings. They're so…"

"Amazing?" Shae finished, laughing at her goofy smile. Taryn giggled.

"Thanks for inviting us," Shae said, motioning to the massive room. "I know we don't really know anyone, but it's gonna be really awesome to meet your brother. And your new sister-in-law."

"Ew, that's so weird to hear," Taryn laughed. "Stacey's basically like a cool older best friend. Sister-in-law makes her sound so old."

"Just wait until they start having kids and make YOU feel old," Danielle pointed out. "It'll be so damn strange."

"No way…that has to be years away, at least," Taryn said emphatically. "I don't think I could handle-"

"Hey, guys!" Shane said breathlessly, hurrying up to Taryn's side. "I didn't know you were here!"

"Oh. Sorry, I must've forgotten to mention it," Taryn said with a smile. She watched as Shane greeted Shae and Danielle.

"The old Ethics group, back together again," he joked. He stood closely next to Taryn, placing his hand on the small of her back. "At a wedding, nonetheless. It's good to see you guys again." Shae and Danielle nodded, returning his warm smile.

"Anyway, I was coming to see if you wanted to dance," Shane said, looking into Taryn's eyes. She smiled warmly, gripping his hand and nodding as he led her off. She glanced back at Shae and Danielle with a smile, caught off guard by Shae's skeptical glance. Danielle seemed oblivious, still staring in awe at Stacey as she walked by.

***

"Come back to the house with me?" Shane whispered, planting a soft kiss on Taryn's neck. She giggled, still a bit tipsy from the champagne. She bit her lip, looking up at him. His dark eyes shone in the moonlight as he returned her gaze. They were standing outside the tent, around a corner and out of view. She could still hear the murmur of party guests as they trickled out, going their separate ways and wishing James and Stacey all the best.

"Maybe, yeah," Taryn said with a grin, batting her eyelashes at him. "I just have to let James know that I'm not coming home with them."

"Okay. Meet me by my car?" he said, leaning down to kiss her. His hand trailed down her waist and toyed with the hem of her dress. She giggled, shivering as she ducked away from him.

"Okay." She emerged from the corner of the tent, heading for the entrance.

"There you are," Shae said with a smile, leaving the tent as she walked up. "I've been looking for you."

"For me?" Taryn said, surprised. "I'm out of here. I just have to talk to James real quick…" She tried to edge past him.

"Wait," he said, sticking out his hand to stop her from going back in. "I just talked to him. He saw us talking earlier and he asked me to make sure you get home okay. So I said I would."

"That's very sweet," she said, patting his shoulder. "But I'm heading out with Shane."

"Oh." He faltered before waving at Danielle as she pulled away in her car off in the distance. "Ummm. I don't think that's such a good idea."

"Well, why not?"

"James thought it would be best if I drove you. I didn't drink anything, so…"

She tried to get around him one last time, but he wasn't budging. "Seriously?"

He nodded, pursing his lips as he looked at her. Honestly. What was his deal?

"Fine," she said, grabbing her heels out of a bush off to the side. She had casually thrown them there at some point earlier in the night, when her feet had started to blister and the grass had felt soothingly cool. She pulled her phone out of her bra, trying to pull up Shane's number.

Shae grabbed her wrist, helping her towards his car and opening the passenger door for her. She slid in, sending a quick text to Shane as Shae pulled away from the property. She pouted, deliberately staying silent until Shae decided to speak.

"Sorry if I ruined your plans with Shane," he said quietly.

"Why couldn't you just let me go?" she retaliated. She rolled her window down, feeling the rush of cool night air on her made-up face.

"You're sleeping with him again, aren't you?" Shae said abruptly.

She paused. "No."

"Taryn."

"What? I'm not." She dug her feet into the floor, wishing he would drive faster so she could just get the hell home. Unfortunately for her, Brighton's campus was still a whopping hour away.

"I don't believe you. You can't even look at me right now."

"Thanks, Mom. I appreciate the concern."

"C'mon, Taryn, don't be like that," he said, tightening his grip on the steering wheel. "You're better than that."

She clenched her teeth, resisting the urge to fight back. No, she wasn't. She wasn't better than that. She had long ago decided that her only choice, the best choice, was to sleep with Shane. God knew she wasn't going to find any better than that, at least not now. Maybe not ever. She didn't deserve that. Shane was all she was good for, and she was irritated that after finally coming to terms with it, Shae had decided to put his two cents in.

"You don't know what you're talking about," she said quietly, looking down at her hands.

"Okay," he said simply. "But when you realize how fucked up this is, you know where I'll be."

"Off somewhere pining after Danielle, probably," she said, immediately regretting it. That was not okay, and she knew it.

He stayed silent, nodding his head.

"Shae, I'm sorry. I didn't mean it. I know it's not true." She looked over at his silhouette, the first time she had really looked at him since back at the tent.

"Okay."

"Forgive me, please. Just…take me home."

They stayed silent for the rest of the drive, Taryn staring at herself in the passenger-side mirror. She stared so long that her vision blurred with rage, until she couldn't look anymore. Stupid girl.

Stupid, stupid girl.