Status: First story! Hope you enjoy :)

Sanctuary

"I've Already Lost Everything That's Ever Made Any Kind of Sense"

It was a beautiful spring day, sunlight streaming through the gaps in the branches as Taryn lay in the grass. She had ventured to the clearing, as she had been doing a lot more lately. Now that the weather was nicer, she felt better going back out there. Like she had when she had first found it earlier that year.

She tapped the home button on her phone, frowning at the empty screen. It was Saturday, and although campus was packed with students panicking about impeding finals, she was at a loss for what to do with her afternoon.

She closed her eyes, inhaling the fresh spring air and feeling the warm pockets of sun on her skin. She was convinced she could practically lay there forever if she could. If only she wasn't a functioning human being, with a brain and a conscience and all that other stuff. She snickered to herself at the idea. How trivial life seemed when she was out here.

She sat up, digging through her bag for her journal. She stood, making her way to the old picnic table where she had sat so many times before. Her journal was worn, the spine worn and some of the pages dog-eared. She enjoyed looking back it, almost proud of how long she'd kept it around. Eventually the pride withered to shame and self-loathing, but she shook it off. That wasn't any way to think about her only friend lately.

***

"Hey Tare," she heard her brother's voice say. She blinked her eyes open, squinting against the late afternoon sun. She sat up, brushing back her unruly hair. Her brother sat at the foot of her bed, Hallie poised at her desk behind him. She eyed him cautiously as he spoke.

"I had Hallie let me in because I really didn't want to say this in person."

"What are you talking about?" she muttered, dragging her hands across her tired face. She thought back to when he had informed her of her parents' divorce, and how she had already seen it coming. This was probably more of the same, just James being super dramatic. In fact, she was quite tired of receiving family-related news from him solely.

But when she thought about it, she didn't know of any more bad news she could learn of her family. It was already falling apart as far as she was concerned.

"It's not you and Stacey, is it?" she said, her stomach churning. It had only been a month and a half since the wedding. No way James had fucked it up already.

"Well, part of it," he said slowly. "But that's the good part."

"Oh, joy," she groaned, resisting the urge to fall back into her pillow. "Might as well give me that first."

"Stace is pregnant," James said quietly, a smile creeping up on the corners of his lips. His eyes gleamed, and he looked so pleased it was hard for Taryn not to start smiling herself. And she wanted to, God knew she wanted to. But the impending threat of worse news was hanging over her head.

"That's so great," she said supportively, reaching over and squeezing his bicep. "I'm so happy for you guys."

"We're so excited," he said, still beaming.

"But…" Taryn said, steeling herself for the news. Not like it really mattered, if her mood lately was any indication, but she was still curious.

"I just wanted to give you a heads-up before you moved home after finals," he said slowly. "That's why you're hearing it from me and not from Dad."

"Is he okay?" Taryn said, her mind racing. Come to think of it, she hadn't heard from her father lately.

"Mom left, Tare." She watched Hallie's face fall behind her brother. She blinked, not really processing what her brother had just said. She just wanted Hallie to stop looking at her like she pitied her very existence.

"Did you hear me?" he asked.

She said nothing.

"Mom left last night. As in, packed her bags and moved out. Dad didn't see it coming, and he hasn't left his room all day. She left a note, but so far I've been the only one to read it. She didn't say much. But she said she's sorry. She's sorry for everything."

She wished she could've felt something. Anything. Sadness, guilt, longing. Whatever.

But she didn't.

***

She turned for the library, steeling herself against the fierce gusts of wind from between the class buildings. She pulled her cardigan tighter around her shoulders, smiling at how pretty her campus looked in the spring sunlight. Everything looked so fresh, so healthy, so…promising.

She meandered along the path, taking her time to look around and observe the people and things around her. She was starting to understand how peaceful the world could be went she wasn't in such a hurry. When her mind wasn't racing with each next stressful thought.

She looked up, just a moment too late as she bumped shoulder with another girl. "Oh God, I'm so sorry!" she said. She looked at the girl, taking a moment to realize who she was with.

"New Girl!" Shane exclaimed, flashing Taryn a grin. "Taryn, this is Kylie. Kylie, Taryn." Taryn glanced back and forth from Shane to the girl, a stunning brunette with wide eyes and a daunting smile. Her hair fell effortlessly on her bare shoulders, and her strapless maxi dress framed her tiny body perfectly. Her eyes flickered to their entwined hands, for only a second before she met his gaze again. She forced a smile as she held out her hand to Kylie's.

"Nice to meet you," she said politely as Kylie shook her hand.

"You as well," Kylie said sweetly, squeezing Shane's hand. "Listen, I have to run. I have to meet my professor before class but thanks for sort of walking me." She giggled sweetly, flashing Shane a smile before hurrying off.

"So…yeah. That's Kylie," he said, his eyes lighting up much like James' did a few days before when telling Taryn about Stacey's pregnancy. "She's great, right?"

"Yeah! She's so nice," Taryn said, forcing a smile and trying not to let her disappointment show. "Are you guys together now…?"

"I think…yeah. It might be turning into something, maybe," he said excitedly. She fought the urge to call him out on it. Wasn't it just weeks ago when he said he wasn't ready for a relationship?

"Yeah, so, um, I've definitely had some fun with ya over these last couple months. But I hope it's cool that I can't really hang out anymore. You understand, yeah?"

"Oh, of course," Taryn said, mentally clearing her schedule for the night. There went her plans.

"Nice. I knew you were a decent girl," Shane said, smirking at her as he gave her a one-sided hug. "See you around, New Girl." He hurried off, Taryn's mind already racing.

What a skank she was. How dare she spend so much time with him, when clearly he was happier elsewhere. She was suddenly ashamed at how much time of his she had wasted. He never wanted her around. He just kept her there until Kylie was ready for him. She had never been anything more than a placeholder, and she scolded herself for ever thinking otherwise. She pivoted on her heel and headed for the clearing, feeling the spine of her journal digging into her own through the fabric of her backpack.

Stupid, stupid girl.
♠ ♠ ♠
Chapter 48!

Almost there! This might end up being a little more than 50 chapters, but it's insane to think it's almost over.

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Song: 'Maybe We'll Make It After All' by Stages And Stereos