Sanctuary

“I never knew,” Shae said breathlessly, thumbing through the worn pages. Taryn’s handwriting filled every inch of every page, sometimes neat and organized, sometimes rushed and broken. It chronicled everything, from Ryan, Dan and Kelsey to her descent into self-loathing, from her senior-year suicide attempt to her “best day ever”.

“No one did,” Hallie said, leaning over his shoulder. Her voice was shaken, her face just as pale as it had been almost an hour earlier.

“Yeah, but I should’ve. She was hurt. She’s been fighting for a long time.” He stared down at his lap, clenching his jaw.

“Shae, you can’t do this,” Hallie said, kneeling beside him. “You couldn’t have known any of this. It’s too much. Don’t blame yourself. We just need to find her.”

“I know. It’s just…hard.”

Hallie flipped to the last entry of the journal, brushing her hair back from her face. “Okay, so her last entry was…last night.”

Shae squinted, reading the lone sentence. “I was meant to be free,” he read slowly. There was a silent pause as both searched for some type of explanation. “What does that even mean?”

Hallie glanced around their shared room, now eerie with Taryn’s missing presence. For the most part, the room was untouched, Taryn’s belongings right where they had always been. Even her phone had been left behind.

“She always takes that thing with her when she leaves,” Hallie muttered, motioning to the journal. “There’s got to be a reason she left it behind.”

“Wherever she is, she doesn’t need it anymore,” he said, his shoulders sinking. He rubbed his temples furiously as he thought.

“I’d hate to think…” Hallie said, her voice a near whisper.

“Don’t. Don’t even go there,” he said, standing up quickly. He paced back and forth nervously. “She’s stronger than that.”

Hallie’s eyes filled with tears. “It wouldn’t be the first time,” she said, her eyes trained on the journal.

“No,” he said, his voice shaky. “No.”

“Okay, so she has to be somewhere close. She went to bed last night and got up before I did.”

“And she doesn’t have a car,” Shae said, still pacing.

“Unless she called James. God, why would she not take the journal?” Hallie said, frustrated. She sat down on her bed, fiddling with her fingernails.

“Wait, James?”

“Yeah…I don’t know if he knows anything. And I don’t have his number.”

He paused, rushing over to Taryn’s desk and picking up her phone. He scrolled through her contact list, dialing James’ number.

He picked up after two rings. “Hey, Tare.”

“James, listen, it’s Shae. I’m a friend of your sister’s.”

“Hey, man, what’s up? Did my sister lose her phone again?”

“Sort of. Have you seen Taryn recently?”

“Yeah, this morning actually. She asked me to drive her somewhere. Damnit, she left her phone back at school, didn’t she?”

Shae’s heartbeat raced, looking over at Hallie with wide eyes. “Where did you take her?”

“I don’t know really…it was a little far. She said she just wanted to be near the water. To be honest, she just had me drop her off on some random street.”

“Okay, thanks, man,” Shae said quickly, hanging up before James could ask what was going on. His mind raced as his frustration built up.

“He doesn’t know anything. He dropped her off somewhere this morning, but he doesn’t know where. She said she wanted to be near the…water.” He looked down at her phone, where Taryn’s default background picture was of her, Danielle, and Shae by the pier.

“Oh my God,” he said, grabbing his keys and reaching for the door. “It’s the pier.”

“Wait, but what if you’re wrong?!” Hallie gasped, looking nervously at Taryn’s phone. “What if she’s here somewhere?”

“Look, you don’t have to come. But I’m almost sure,” he said quickly. “It’s the pier.”

***

He pushed through the brush, glancing out at the scenery that seemed so familiar to him. He’d been here hundreds of times, yet this time he was only looking for someone specific. He scanned the sand, looking for Taryn’s familiar body. She had to be here somewhere.

The first pier was taken by two fishermen, trying to tie up their small boat. The second was a family, taking happy pictures like he had done with his friends earlier that year. The third pier was completely empty, and the fourth…

The fourth.

“Taryn!” he yelled, taking off into a sprint. He ran to the wooden planks, kicking up sand much to the dismay of confused pier-goers. But he didn’t care.

He finally reached her, kneeling beside her head. She lay on the pier, facing the bright sky.

“Taryn,” he gasped, brushing wisps of hair off of her face. Her expression was blank as she stared up at the clouds. He gripped her arm, waiting for her to acknowledge him. “Tare.”

She didn’t answer.

He shook her gently. “Taryn!” he said, his heart racing. Why wasn’t she talking? Her chest rose slowly with each steady breath. Her eyes were still, her glassy eyes trained on the huge expanse above her. He looked up, trying to see what she saw.

“Tare,” he whispered. “Please.”

She stayed silent, lying there and totally still.

He slid his phone out of his pocket, texting Hallie to send help to the pier. He gripped Taryn’s hand in his, whispering her name desperately until he could barely look at her anymore. His heart sank. She wasn’t there. He shifted his body, holding onto her hand as he lay down beside her. And there they stayed until the cars came to whisk her away.