Velvet Black

The baths were something of a dreamy spa. Imori explained that the mineral waters helped relax the muscles and calm the mind. He said it would help me think clearer. And so it did.
From the moment I sank into the murky waters my legs ceased their fearful shaking and my heart rate began to slow to a safer pace. I leaned up against the mossy rocks and let out a heavy sigh. I, in my entire life, had never been so confused and scared. Separately, yes, but not together. Though, those thoughts escaped me quickly when I breathed out my stress into the steaming air of the pools.
Above me cascaded the waterfall that nourished that green-blue pool. Its heat plumed overhead like a small group of hot clouds had nestled over the spas.
"Must be nice... being this rich," I smirked as I eyed the envelope from the mysterious Sago just inches away on a rock. I turned on my stomach and reached out for it. Its envelope was thick and expensive looking. The back was sealed (resealed because Menma and Imori had read it) with red wax and a familiar looking symbol pressing down. It was the same one permanently stuck on my forehead. "Hmph... snooty rich people," I sighed as I tore the envelope open.
Inside was a lengthy letter that started with, Sae. Great, I thought, he really does know me.
Sae -
Fate is a name on my black list. If not for unforeseen circumstances I'd be there at the manor to help you adjust. Unfortunately I leave that job to Imori who I trust... well, to some degree better than my runabouts. He's been with Nal for some time and I trust anyone that Nal would trust. In a matter of speaking... I apologize if I don't get my message across. I'm no good at conveying thoughts in words. Too complicated, if you ask me.
To the matter at hand, then?
You've probably sustained an incredible amount of trauma and so I don't expect you to remember too much. Some things here and there, but nothing that would be of high importance. I'm sure you're pretty angry right about now. That, or scared. You were always rambunctious, so I'm not sure how you'll take all of this. Some things need to be organized before the truth comes to hand. I wish for nothing but your safety and security, though, I must inform you. So, no matter what happens or what other circumstances befall us, know that this is all for you.
Another thing, you are free to roam the castle. It's as much as yours as it is mine. The room you woke up in is my own, but it is also yours. Sleep there any time you like. The kitchen staff caters to the head of the house. Currently that is you. You and Imori. Also, I've heard that you met Menma. She's extremely trustworthy. If you wish to confide in anyone, it would be wise to choose her. She may be small, but in mind she is far more mature than some of the finest thinkers.
Anything you wish to have washed can be left in any room. The hand servants will make sure they find their original owner one way or the other. Same goes for your things, which, speaking of, should be arriving shortly.
One thing you need to understand is that somewhere along the way your landing location was thrown askew by a few hundred echrons. That's approximately a few hundred miles in human distances, I believe. Or, is a kilometers? Whichever, it's a few hundred something. Had I been notified sooner I'd have torn the city apart to find you. Never, NEVER did I intend for you to land in the Houses district. I should burn that place to the ground for not reporting your surfacing immediately. Though, Imori does live there and I cannot have my way. Whatever anyone has done to you, know revenge will be taken if you so wish.
Beyond that I see that you will be informed of all else.
The next time we meet is nearing still. I hope that then you've recovered most of your memories, my love. Be safe, stay strong, and know this madness is coming to an end.
~ Masaguri, Sago
To be honest, I didn’t know what to think of all of that. How does one assess that much information in one sitting? Though, I suppose it was honorable to know that there was someone that was willing to avenge my grief for no reason. Or, perhaps, as alluded in the letter, was there a reason? Even this Sago understood that a certain level of trauma was withstood. Perhaps the chain connecting us in some absurd way was cut.
My grandmother used to tell me an old legend when I was very young. It’s almost a blur in my mind, but the message never changed.
In an ancient world in Greece humans were not as they are now. They were monsters in our eyes; two heads, four eyes, four arms, four legs, and two hearts, but cohabitating in complete harmony. Zeus, the god over all, saw how powerful the will of those creatures were. Their love could manifest to power and easily overthrow the gods.
Zeus separated the creatures into two separate halves. He mixed the creatures up so they could never find the other half. The monsters feared showing another their half. So the monsters wandered aimlessly hoping to find their true others. They would talk with others and when they finally shared their halves, it would never be the true one. Soon the creatures, called humans, began to die in agony. The emptiness they felt was burning their hearts to ash.
Seeing the flaws in the dying world, Zeus separated the humans again, but tied a red string to each of their wrists. No matter how much the creatures tugged and pulled, the string could never break. Though, it is said that souls who do horrible deeds in the past life are sent down to Earth without another. They drag their string with them in life, feeling hollow and alone.
I used to feel like I was cursed. Sent to earth alone and without a guide, lost and confused. Thinking back, that feeling was only affirmed when my parents died. Nagi seemed completely unaffected and merged into life at the shrine without even thinking about it. I, on the other hand, isolated myself. I don’t remember much of what they told me when the news came to the house, but I remember emptiness. Like the finally piece of humanity holding me to this world had burned up in the atmosphere. I felt dead.
Here, in this world of magic and monsters, demons and lies, there was no reason to feel empty. Working the Houses was worse than that. Living in the luxuries of the Pillars was liberating, but complicated. What business did that thing have on earth? Meddling with the structure of my life back home, probably.
Life… at home… Time moved so much differently. A month in just a few days… school would have started. Juri would be getting ready for college entrance exams and Nagi would either be looking to study under a monk or getting ready for University. Was everyone moving on with their lives? Had the police stopped looking for me?
Surely, by now. They say if the person is not found in the first forty-eight hours the chance of finding them after that dwindles daily. Rumi probably spread the rumors that I was some tree-living freak and died in the forest. People probably avoid the place and keep the stories alive because it’s a “dangerous” place. I could almost guarantee that grandma had fed Moshi to death.
I couldn’t help but wonder if Juri was excited for the exams or nervous. Heck, she’d probably seen ahead and knew how to assess the situation. Or was she being smart and ignoring any third-eye peeks. I bet she would be beside herself about taking a look. She would probably swear to Nagi that she wouldn’t look, but feel terrible that she wasn’t taking advantage of it.
Nagi would be fretting over whatever path he chose. Grandmother’s arthritis acts up this time of year. Rather, that time. She would be creaky as an old house, but she’d refuse his worrywart insistences to help. She would waddle on down to the old bus stop and ride to her doctor. He was a nice young man who was patient with grandma.
Rumi, bless her, was probably floundering in her grades, indecisively looking ahead at her future. Or had she gotten her life together? You know, after she chickened out, spread rumors about me, got knocked up, had an abortion, and started smoking and drinking.
Even so, I knew that something ominous was hanging over me. These experiences would seem droll and slow compared to everything I’d gone through. Who was I kidding; to me it was just a few short days. With the time shifts, the letters, and the rushing of servants all about, who knew if it was trauma or actual fear that fed this anxiety?
My hand fell over my face as I realized how much I was overthinking the whole thing. Who knew? Maybe some magical spell had been cast over the island and my entirety had been erased. Though, I wasn’t quite sure if that’s what I wanted. To be totally forgotten or to cause others pain in my absence.
Just before I began to overthink many more things the surface of the water rippled. I lifted my heavy head from the back of the warm, mossy stones and saw that Imori was sinking into the green pool. He smiled over at me and saw my placid, tired expression. Without addressing it, knowing of many other’s pains, he simply sighed and snaked beside me.
“It’s going to be okay,” he said, swinging an arm over my shoulder. I couldn’t deny it, the contact felt good, but it didn’t mean that I wasn’t a little unnerved. People in this world… this dimension were so relaxed. “Sure, I’ve only left it a handful of times and in the company of Nal, but people there… they’re a network.”
“How do you mean?” I cocked a brow, rolling my shoulders against the hot rocks to unwind.
“You all care… so much. Families, romance, and connection all seem to the foundation of which you’re made,” he said dreamily, staring into the peaceful forest surrounding the pool.
Occasionally his eyes would wander to the waterfall that crashed down into the other pools that lined the cliff side. Something nostalgic sparkled in his black eyes. I couldn’t help but wonder what he’d seen before he found Nal. What nightmares and dark crevasses he’d dug out in the world for himself so that he would feel nothing.
“The greatest tragedy of your age… is not connecting, isn’t it?” The demon boy said without moving his eyes off the water. “Here? Here it’s not surviving. No one cares about love or passion. It’s just a thing we left in our old lives. Fervor was buried with us.”
I found myself with racing thoughts as I turned my head to face him. His green hair was slicked back on his face, eyes fully fixed on the space between everything. He seemed so lost in the bits and pieces of what he could remember and what he wished he didn’t. Even when we were at the Houses he was faintly lethargic about getting me up to the cage, always finding little ways to stop or linger so not to push me into a trauma I wasn’t ready for. But what was his story?
“Imori…?”
“Mm?” He tilted his head to face me, eyes widening as he saw my face. Perhaps I was wearing a mask of mixed confusion and sadness, but all I could feel was pained curiosity.
“Were… you human?”
For a moment he simply stared at me. Then, after processing the question in full a slow, cautious sneer stretched his pallor face. He flashed a brilliant smile and chortled lowly as he sighed heavily. He opened his mouth and lost his words in a smile, but he shook the laughter off.
“Weren’t we all?”
After that the topic died in our throats. It seemed that fear wouldn’t let me know and Imori’s hesitance stopped him from revealing much more. A line had been crossed and we mutually agreed on drawing it once more.
The rest of the bath we spoke of what position I’d earned. Nal was Sago’s right-hand man, but he had no direct connection with him. A family gives birth to sons and daughters who will inevitably work for one of the pillars, even if in the smallest way. Nal himself has a cousin who cooks for the castle’s staff and residents. Everyone here was interconnected by something whether it was blood or desire.
Imori went into further detail about the pillars. Each one mastered a single element, but all manipulated the basic four humans acknowledge. Silent agreements over the millennia and dealings with the Keepers of the land let them control different aspects, but the elements were always a shared part.
The first pillar, Salkanari, was born of a star. It was said that she was the true Mother Earth before all the sweeping waves of religion whittled her down to nothing but a myth. She is bright, loving, and warm as a mother, but she can be cold as a comet’s tail when the life of her Marker is threatened. Markers are the name that we are formally given to the public. Only the pillars may say our birth names. Salkanari is the ruler of the first level of Hell.
The second pillar, Trielani, is a patient man. He is said to be the father of medicine and healing. He’s said not to dabble in romance too often, so a Marker found beneath Trielani’s symbol is incredibly rare. He rules the second level of Hell.
The third Pillar, Sago, rules over the current level of Hell I have been running through. He, to what Imori mentioned, rules over the darkness and the strange. His powers dabble in the macabre while other pillars rule in love and compassion. The greatest relation Imori could make was something similar to black magic. His cardinal drive is said to be the human experience.
“It’s quite ironic considering he’s one of the more tortured souls holding up this world,” Imori snickered through a drag of a long pipe cigarette. His eyes fluttered in raw appreciation of the purple, breezy ash filtering through his nose. “Ruling over love, passion, and emotions at the very core…”
“How is he tortured?” I asked as he absentmindedly passed me the pipe. Not knowing what else to do, I bit the end and took a slow breath.
I barely heard Imori through the smoke. It was like cotton was stuffed in my ears and time itself had slowed considerably. As if I’d broken the barrier between reality and a state of nonexistence I felt my skin cling to my muscles. My lips buzzed with heat as my fingertips brushed over them.
Soon my hands were exploring the freckles on my cheeks and tracing the curves of my ear. From there I found myself raking my hands through my hair several times, analyzing each strand’s cold, wet texture. Occasionally my eyes would flutter through the smoky, steamy screen in search of that man’s face in my mind. Soft, white hair… or was it black? Both were equally possible.
The moment Imori noticed his blunder he snatched the pipe away and tapped the ashes out on the ground behind us. He shook his head and sighed, “Damn. Honey, you’re not all here…”
“What’s here?”
“Alright, alright. Bath time over,” he sighed, pushing himself up onto the rocks and scrambling to his feet. In three swift, blurred motions he grabbed two robes and a couple towels. “Come up,” the strange boy offered his hand down to me, but I lazily drew a smirk. Or, at least, I think I did.
Defying his command, I slinked beneath the surface of the forest green waters and took in a deep breath. For a moment I coughed, eyes widening in shock, but then air rushed through my lungs. Sweet forest air flooded my lungs and I snorted like a child. Normally people might have panicked at the very concept of breathing beneath water, but I was in no normal state.
I looked up and saw Imori nervously looking down at me as I swam in circles at the bottom. He was shouting something nondescript at me, but I cared not. The world seemed so serene when you couldn’t hear the screaming of responsibility biting at your ears and demanding attention.
From below I wasn’t so scared. There was no need to worry about Nagi or Juri, Baa-chan or Rumi… there was just me and the water. I wasn’t being rushed around like livestock or doted on like a prized gift. I wasn’t the child who’d lost his parents in the tragic accident that no one could explain. I wasn’t the strange boy who nearly died on an island. I wasn’t the hag’s victim… I was just Sae. I was, for once in my life, just Sae.
My eyes closed in peace as my body sank to the bottom of the pool. Shoulder blades shifting against the soft mossy floor of the bath, I began to relax. Slowly, as if weighted by sleep, my eyes opened and watched the lights above. The warm afternoon sun was shining through the canopy of trees, flickering delightfully. A contented sigh escaped my lips as I folded my hands over my stomach and let my eyes fall shut once again.
I didn’t know about Imori, but I could have taken a nap down there forever had someone not crashed through it. Barely did I have time to open my eyes to see the face of the person wrapping one arm around my waist and dragging me up to the surface.
As if the world around me had been shattered we burst up from the waters below. My lungs panicked as they frantically shifted oxygen intake methods. For a moment it felt like the wind was knocked out of me. All I could do was try not to turn purple and let my eyes roll back into my head.
The grip around my middle only tightened when we came to the edge of the pool and I was dragged up to the rocky edge. My name was said a few times before I landed against the soft, moss-carpeted edge around pool and my eyes focused.
“Sae!”
In an instant my body hitched and my head threw back in a violent gasp. Once more that perfect oxygen-nitrogen mix fed through my fleshy lungs and fed on the sweetness of the air. Hands reaching out for something, the man above me grasped my hand and bent over me. His eyes were frantically searching my face for an answer of some kind, but I only blacked out. In the darkness of my semi-conscious state I heard that familiar voice call my name in fear, but it calmed when a warm touch came down on my neck just above the coronary artery.
More asinine muttering went on above my head as I was lifted from the floor in a warm hold. Instinctively my body leaned into the grasp as sleep took the few scraps of consciousness I was struggling to hold onto. Though, there was one thing I knew that I could trust. The arms around me were safe… warm… familiar.

Shii ei la noh, koe kokoro... sasame noh ke.... yuga naga metto shela soh... somotto... nogatto... ryo…
Rii toh matoh laa… shii mah, kiila, toda, sai ahlii… iloh iloh iloh…
My lips moved to the beat of the lullaby, throat too scratchy to sing out the melody. I swallowed hard, air escaping me. Soon my body began to shift uncomfortably, my fingertips scratching at the sheets around my body. Sweet beaded along my jawline in panic as a crushing weight pushed me down deeper into the unconscious depths of my mind.
Back and forth my head shook, body fighting the sleep. I couldn’t keep drifting between months and hours of my own worlds. I had to break out of the nightmare and see some tangible evidence that I wasn’t going mad.
WAKE UP! My mind screamed; fists of rebelliousness beating against the walls of my mind. YOU HAVE TO WAKE UP!
Just when I thought I was locked inside my head for eternity my lungs gasped and my eyes drew wide. Adrenaline forced my body upright, fists digging into the sheets in a fright. A voice near me tried to calm me down, but I simply took several deep, relieved breaths that I’d made it.
“Sae, it’s okay,” the voice called more clearly, a hand coming down on my shoulder. The second I felt its pressure I whipped around and swatted the touch away.
“Who… Sa--!” I began, but a hand clasped over my mouth.
Slowly the man in the dark came forward and my lungs squeezed in attempt to cry out. The man raised his finger to his lips and softly hushed me. Guiding me he nodded and I mimicked the motion, his hand slowly falling away from my mouth. My first instinct was to scream, but I simply swallowed the tight feeling in my throat and sat stiffly at the man’s mercy.
In the light I could see that his hair was a rich black with feathery ends that kissed his cheeks. Most of his hair was gathered in a loose ponytail behind his head, but it was thick as the forests around the mansion. His eyes were a stunning shade of hazel that seemed to flicker green or gold the more they searched my face for answers. Thick, dark lashes framed those hazel gems, complimenting his faintly sun-kissed face. From what I could tell, he was strong, too.
“You know who I am, don’t you?” He asked cautiously. My head moved before my lips, a faint nod assuring him. “Good.”
“Y-you’re him! Uh… right? Sago?”
The man beamed, a faint blush of satisfaction dusting his cheeks. “It is you…”
“As me as I’ll ever be,” he grinned.
“You’ve… barely aged…” I mused, eyes blinking slowly as my hand reached out to him. My fingertips brushed against his jaw and sure enough he was real.
“Remember? It’s been a few months outside the veil… What must have felt like a lifetime to you… seemed like a few days or weeks to me,” he said slowly, letting the depth of his words sink in.
Even so, his words might as well have been the ocean. Instead of his information sinking into me, I drowned in them. My lips trembled when I tried forming words, but Sago only understood. He wove his fingers between the spaces of mine and brought the grasp to his lips. I felt the heat of his gentle kiss spread across my hand and race up to my face. This reaction elicited a smirk from the man’s lips.
“I know. It’s a lot to take in,” he whispered, climbing up onto the bed and leaning close. “But it’s okay. You’re not alone anymore.”
“A-alone?” I blinked, brow furrowing. But before I could ask him any further questions our lips crushed together.
Under any normal circumstances I would have shoved him back, punched him clear across the face, and ran off. However, nothing was normal anymore. My body was still weak from the near comatose state it had been in. It was as if my legs had turned to water, leaving me at the mercy of this man and god was he unforgiving.
Sago wove his fingers into my hair and pulled hard as he kissed me deeper. An uncertain groan escaped my lips as his tongue dove into my mouth. His movements forced me to reciprocate, but something inside of me wanted it. My hand reached up and searched his body until I found his face. His skin was hot and moist like the edge of the rocks in the hot baths.
He was there, wasn’t he? The man that dove in at a moment’s notice to save me, even though I know nothing of his intentions. Is this what love felt like? A heat in your body that begs to be satiated by someone, anyone?
Soon I found myself gasping between deep, passionate kisses and feeding my own fingers through his thick, black hair. Heat stirred in my body from wherever he touched and that seemed to be everywhere. The moment I was beginning to come back to a shred of my senses the robe that loosely clung to my body was being pushed away from my shoulders. Sago pushed his hand against the mattress and guided my body down against the mattress. Things were escalating far quicker than I could keep up.
“Sae,” he hissed in my ear.
I found myself swallowing hard in anticipation whenever he said my name. An unfamiliar cry of shock escaped my lips when he sank his teeth into my neck. It wasn’t the sort of bite that would break the skin, but it certainly turned up the heat. My body writhed in strange sensations of pleasure and feverish attempts to push away.
“S-Sago!” I panted, silenced by another hard kiss.
This strange contact, the urgency-laden passion was sealing up the holes in my heart and head. Flickers of dead memories filled my head with each breath shared between embraces. I could hear a faint call of a woman’s voice in the back of my mind lulling me with a soothing song. Images of long violet hair flashed behind my eyes.
“Sae… Oh, god, it’s been too long waiting for you,” Sago whispered as he swept my bangs away from my face and against my head. He planted kisses against my cheeks and forehead, my lips and nose sweetly. “Even weeks was too long.”
An innocent form of warmth bloomed in my heart as he leaned up on his elbows and smiled down at me. Warm laughter filled the space between us as he bent down once more and pecked my lips. When he leaned up again his face scrunched nervously as he sighed. “I forgot to ask…”
“Ask what?” I muttered, tilting my head slowly.
“If… kissing you was okay… Oh, god, was that not okay?” He grinned nervously. I simply shook my head and sighed through a stupid smile.
“It’s a little late to be asking, but that was quite unexpected, yeah,” I shook my head as I leaned up, Sago back up to give me room.
“I’m sorry.”
“It’s fine,” I blushed nervously, swinging my legs over the edge of the bed and making a move to stand.
“No, really,” the man insisted by taking a hold of my wrist and pulling me back to face him. “It’s not okay.”
The sincerity in his eyes warmed my heart, but, I reiterate, there was no taking it back. I staggered around until I found solid footing, but once I did, Sago was up to make sure I stayed that way. “You’re a bit sweaty. You want to go to the baths?”
“No thanks to you,” I rolled my eyes, taking in deep breaths of the forest air the moment I left the room.
Outside of the main bedroom I saw that the sun was setting over the palace. All the servants down below had disappeared from the paths and the walkways. It was as if the moment Sago crossed the threshold into this world they ceased to be seen, shadows of the work they did.
“You’re not really this way, are you?” I sighed, Sago cocking a brow in curiosity. “Oh, don’t give me that look. You’re not some petty man coddling a lost soul,” I rolled my eyes, walking down the long, open hall towards the smell of food.
Behind me the gentle man I once knew faded into his own darkness. His eyes lowered in satisfied relaxation. No longer did he feel the need to keep the front of innocence up. The nature of the beast, revealed, was hard to handle.
“Oh, well, you’re still as clever as I remember,” the man snickered, sighing as he walked silently beside me. “Still one hell of a kiss.”
“We’ve never… wait,” I narrowed my eyes, his face drawing up in a pleased grin. My face burned red with confusion as I stopped in my tracks to think. So many of my thoughts had burned up like paper in a blaze so what else had I forgotten? “S-Sago!”
The man only laughed in a low, dangerously crackly voice as he pulled a door open. Inside sat a table set with food and tea. Just in that moment my stomach growled for attention and I’d never been happier in my entire time in the veil.
“Your last meal was yesterday, correct?” Sago pried as I quickly sat down at the table and picked a few exotic looking foods onto my plate.
“Yeah,” I nodded, trying something that looked reminiscent of a pork bun crossed with a jelly fish.
“Well, save the graces, eat up,” he muttered as he began filling his own plate.
“So what’s this whole deal with you being a ‘pillar’?” I asked through a mouthful of the strange bun.
Sago simply poured tea for the both of us and smirked, ignoring my question.
“What? After ripping my life out of the ground by the roots, dropping me into some brothel hell, and then realizing you may have poorly calibrated my landing you can’t spare me a few answers?” I shot him a hard look as he returned it equally strong.
“It’s a status title with some perks. What do you want, kid?” He sighed, sipping on the tea.
“If you thought I was a kid you wouldn’t have done that to me,” I glowered.
“You say ‘that’ as if I understand which particular event you could be referring to.”
How could I have ever thought that anything but darkness and evil spewed from that creature’s lips? What ruse was I under to think otherwise?
“You’re so cheeky! Why’d you act like someone who really gave a shit if you were such a dick underneath?” I growled in between bites of fish.
Sago seemed surprised by the question, even going to far as if to let out a little laugh of shock. Eyes narrowing in anticipation, I waited for his response. Oh, and it had better be a good one.
“People change with time… you would be expecting that old self. The one that was kind and looking to please,” he shrugged. “Shock control, I suppose.”
“Shock control! Shock control?!” My voice hitched with each cry of disbelief. “Might I restate the happenings over barely a week? I was dropped into the third level of hell, oh, wait, no. First I was hunted by monsters, and then dropped into the third level of hell,” I snapped. “I was then whored out to some monster! Next came the sudden trauma. Finally, I was forced into a grand maul seizure by your right hand man, my nose was hit against a door, and then I got here.”
To this the man simply nodded quietly, sighing in agreement that it had been quite enough for one person. However, I wanted an apology. How dare he call his acting shock control when I’d been traumatized enough for the rest of my seemingly short life!
“Again, I never called you here,” he lolled his head to one side in a lazy shrug.
“What!”
Sago raised his eyes from his food and began to explain. The monsters chased down whatever residual energy from the veil that they could find. When Juri activated the symbol on my forehead, the monsters were alerted of the flare of energy. Their only objective was to find the source, eat it, or give it back to the proper level of hell. When the adrenaline spiked in my system a faint memory of the failsafe escape mechanism was triggered and I ended up in the proper veil. The third level just happened to be the default and the house I was sent to was merely by chance.
“So…”
“You weren’t supposed to come, yet,” he finished.
My heart clenched in my chest. Not only was I stuck in a world where my life was flickering away across the worlds, but I wasn’t even needed here. I wasn’t needed at home or here. Though, if I died, I would just be sent to one of the other levels, wouldn’t I? Or would I be stuck here?
Soon my appetite faded and my hand pulled away from my plate. I rose without thinking and left the room to find the bedroom once again. My whole seventeen years on that earth had been a waste and now the eternity I was spending in this world would be equally worthless.
I’d always just been the kid without a mom and dad; the kid who was trouble; the kid who was sure to be troubled. I was always just in the way. Juri would fall in love with Nagi and marry him. Baa-chan would die. Rumi would live her life and die as well. Juri’s children would live vague lives knowing nothing of what their mother did or who their uncle was. I would be a faded echo of the past stuck in the perpetual future.
I was empty space.
No… I was negative space.

All I remembered about the night was the door to the bedroom opening and closing promptly. Utter darkness as thick as velvet tightened around me like Sago’s arms as he climbed into bed. My throat tightened in fear as he kissed the nape of my neck and whispered strange words into it.
That man pulled me closer until my back was cradled in the curve of his chest. His robes were gone, but his body told nothing of dark intentions. While I choked back tears he leaned up and whispered soothing words.
“When I said that I never called you here… I didn’t mean that I never wanted to. I meant that I didn’t want to pull you into this world, Sae… I wanted you to be happy,” he whispered, trailing kisses down to the space between my shoulders.
Happy? Shown so much darkness and glimmers of light on the horizon that I could never reach and he wanted me to be happy? Such a strange man… this Masaguri Sago.

The next time I opened my eyes a candle was burning at every corner of the room. Soft trembling orange lit the world from each angle as my eyes focused on the spaces between the lights. My hands went to scratch an itch on my chest, but I met two arms folded across it, still holding my close. Images of his apologetic nature flashed in my mind, but left the moment he moved.
Slowly, as if not to wake me, Sago shifted his arms away from my body and slipped away. I closed my eyes so to seem undisturbed. From the bed Sago silently rose to his feet and padded towards the door. For a moment he stopped and looked back at me, falsely slumbering. A sigh escaped his lips and I wished so dearly that I knew what emotion hid that faint breath.
Without such much as a sound he left the room, sealing me in the chamber of orange light and darkness. The second I thought he’d walked away I hopped up. Unfortunately my steps were not as gracefully footed. I tried my hardest to raise my stealth, but it only sounded like slipping sand across the soft floors. Seeing the fruitless attempts for espionage quiet, I strode across the room and threw the door open.
The moment my eyes focused to the moonlight outside my heart clenched and my lungs let out a horrified gasp. Sago was standing right at the door, towering over me. Teeth clenched, I backed up slowly, but the man kept advancing.
“Where are you going?” I demanded, praying that my voice came off with any shred of conviction.
“That doesn’t concern you,” he whispered in a low voice, shutting the door behind us.
The moment the world was sealed off from us the gleaming lanterns blew out with a howl of the wind. Frantically I stumbled backwards until I bumped into something hard. It was Sago, eyes flaring as he watched me. His sight sent a gasp rushing through my mouth, but my hands clasped over my lips before I let the sound escape.
Again I rushed away from the monstrous glower, but I found myself running into the demonic man again. This time, before I could get away, Sago wrapped his arms around me from behind and held me close to his body. IN his clutches I trembled, hands still firmly fastened over my mouth. I feared that if I let out a single sound, one murmur of fear, the world’s fabricated dreamland would shatter and the real monster in that man would manifest.
However, as I stood unsteady in his arms, I felt oddly safe. His darkness, the uncertain hollow of his mixed-signal hospitality felt familiar and faithful. As if I could die in these arms with complete confidence that I would still be loved. Yet, at the same time I felt endangered beyond an inkling of an understanding, like the stars wept in my ignorance of the capacity of Sago’s cruelty.
Even so, just as I feared he would swallow my hope whole and set fire to the scraps of humanity I childishly clung to, he pacified me. His hand reached up and rubbed against the skin of my neck, a shiver shooting down my spine. He knelt on one knee behind me and pressed his forehead against the small of my back and sighed regrettably. His hands moved lower and lower until they were laced over my heart, as if to trace some fleeting signs of love into my chest.
“It’s so vindictive of you… growing so much older and yet never changing in the slightest, leaving time to eat away the person you once knew,” he murmured, nuzzling against my skin. “The call to this world is a two way street. You call out the forest’s name and you will return. Call my name and this world will drag you under.”
Silence crushed the room to the point that it felt as if we were suspended in emptiness. My heartbeat throbbed in my ear as I awaited his next words. He could ruin my world as well as salvage it all with a simple command. Even my lungs tightened in anticipation.
“I won’t stop you. I know how terrible this world is when you don’t remember it. Love is blindness… this darkness, this hollow world… Sae, it’s what I’m made of, but only for you. And that truth… if love truly is blindness… I don’t want to see,” he whispered, a whimper of sincerity scratching at the back of his throat. Though Sago might not have heard it, my own throat squeezed a pitiful cry of agony from my throat.
Love is blindness…? Haven’t I been so blind?