A Match Into Water

"I can't do this Jasper, it's not going to work" I tell my best and only friend. "I-I can't get connected to too many people, i-it just won't work."

"Come on, if bonding is the only problem, just don't bond. You know you want to; you love guitar, you love the outdoors. It could be the last chance you get." Jasper says, sadness evident in his voice. That's what Jasper always does; pulls the "you're gonna die soon, might as well".

My name is Jacqueline Sawyer; I’m 27 and have been suffering from cancer ever since I was 17. I’ve been doing well until I got a call recently telling me I only have 5 years left at most. Jasper wants me to apply for the new guitar tech for a punk band. I really don’t want to; I mean bonding with people isn’t necessarily good for someone who’s going to die soon.

“Well that’s too bad because their manager just texted me, you made it on and they’re picking you up for tour tomorrow” Jasper tells me smiling smugly.

“W-what?!” I stutter completely flabbergasted.

“Yup, you better start packing”

I stare at him for a few seconds with wide eyes. “Are you being serious?” I ask, still in shock at what he’s told me.

“Yeah, I’m not even kidding.” He tells me, completely serious. I turn away; I guess I have to pack then…
I’m halfway up the stairs when Jasper shouts up to me. “Oh yeah, the band is Pierce The Veil”.

-

Jasper carries my suitcase out to the front porch, and I sling my guitar case across my back. He throws it down onto the green, well-kept grass and sits next to each other on the white wooden porch. “Y’know, Jasper, I’ve been thinking about it; maybe this will be a good thing for me” I admit, placing my face in my hands. Jasper turns towards me and a smile breaks out onto his face.

“You’re going to meet good people, Jack. Make this tour last for you, okay?” Jasper tells me, turning serious. I look over to him a nod. “I just- I don’t like thinking negative, but we both know death is catching up with you. 5 years isn’t very long, Jack. And I mean, you’re the only thing I have in my life. My family doesn’t accept me, and I didn’t think it would be this hard to find another gay man in Toronto.” He tells me, flooding his feelings out to me.

Jasper and I have been best friends ever since we were in grade 2. When we reached grade 10 he officially came out as gay, I mean I kind of knew, he was dropping hints- but it was big for our friendship. It’s hard to find a bond like ours, and I am not going to let this one go. His family “dis-owned” him when he came out, but my parents let him come live with us. When we both got accepted into colleges we moved out and lived on campus. After that, we decided to get an apartment together in downtown Toronto.

Jasper also clarified with me that the first show of the tour is in Toronto so they could just pick me up at our rented out house. We moved out of the apartment a couple years ago and have been renting this home ever since.

A roaring is sounded around the corner and we both turn our heads to see a large black bus coming down the street. Jasper stands up first and picks up the suitcase. The big bus stops in front of our house and the door opens. A well-kept looking man with a clipboard steps out.

“Hello!” he says in a cheery voice, walking over to us. He’s a little on the larger size, but not overweight. It evens out with his height. I, being very short (5’4” next to Jaspers 6’1”) have to look up to see his face. He surprises me by embracing me in a hug, and shaking Jasper’s free hand.

“I’m Kevin, the boys tour manager. You can put your suitcase on the bus, Jasper can you do that?” he asks. Jasper nods and I look over Kevin’s shoulder to see four faces peeking out of the bus window. Jasper climbs onto the bus and I turn back to Kevin, whose looking at his clipboard.

“Okay, so I understand about your condition-“

“Cancer” I interrupt him. “Don’t avoid the name, it makes it worse” I speak up. He bites his lip and nods.

“Okay, so I understand about you having lung cancer.” He says eyeing the tank I have to keep next to me. There is a plastic tube coming from the tank that goes behind my ears and two little stubs that go in my nose to supply oxygen. I have to have all this because my lungs fucking suck. I nod and Kevin continues.

“Well, I know it’s hard to do physical activities…but from the videos I’ve seen you are a fantastic guitar player, so there shouldn’t be a problem in preforming the tasks. There are just a few things you might not be able to do. Usually at some shows, Jamie and Tony throw the guitars across the stage to the guitar techs for them to catch. Let me know if you think you’re up for that, okay?” I nod and give him thumbs up.

He smiles and turns around just as Jasper is exiting the bus. He quickly walks over to me and engulph me in a hug, letting me rest my head against his chest.

“I’ll see you in a bit Jasper, I’ll miss you” I mumble into his chest. I notice Kevin has gone back inside the bus and shooed the boys away from the window.

“I bet you anything I’ll miss you more” he replies pulling away from the hug. This will be the first time I’ve ever been all alone. He’s my only friend for god’s sake. “Remember to still get checkups, and text me every day, and Skype me as much as you can.” He tells me going all serious. I chuckle and nod, pulling him in for one last hug.

“So long and goodnight, Jasper” I say backing away from him pulling my little cart alongside me.

“So long and goodnight my dear Jack” he calls back, sticking his hands in his pockets and standing on the grass awkwardly. I grumble as I lift the cart up the three little steps but am amazed when I step onto the bus.

“It’s huge in here, mother fuck” I curse under my breath looking around.

“THAT’S WHAT SHE SAID!” a voice yells from the bunk area, coming out into my living room. He’s taller than me and covered in tattoos. He has plugs in his ears and a cap on his head. “Hello, I’m Tony.” He says walking up to me and sticking out his hand. I shake it politely.

“I’m Jacqueline, it’s nice to meet you Tony.” He nods to me smiling, and eyes up my oxygen tank. “It gives me oxygen due to the fact that my lungs are absolute shit” I tell him, causing him to laugh.

“You can sit down you know?” he says flopping down onto one of the couches. I nod and pull my cart along beside me as I choose a spot on the couch opposite him. “Ah, here are the rest of the guys” he says looking to the bunks. I look over and surely enough, 3 men walk out. One of them is very tall, covered in tattoos with a few piercings; the next is somewhat shorter than the first man, he has a few tattoos on his upper arms, and his hair is styled into pure black spikes. But it’s the third man that catches my eye. He is significantly shorter than the others, with shoulder length brown hair. He has on a simple t-shirt and jeans, but you can tell he has muscly arms. The first two men sit next to Tony on that couch, but the short one sits down on my couch, on the other end.

“So you’re our new guitar tech?” the spikey haired man asks. I nod and he smiles at me. “I’m Jamie”

“Hello, Jamie” I say smiling at him. He eyes up my oxygen tank as well. “It helps me breathe because I have shitty lungs” I tell him. The four of them laugh quietly.

“I’m Mike. It’s nice to meet you…” the tall one says trailing off, not knowing my name.

“I’m Jacqueline, but you can just call me Jack” I tell him smiling. He smiles back and gives me an acknowledging nod. The man next to me speaks next. His voice is deeper then I accepted, but it sounds smooth and comforting.

“I’m Vic. It’s a pleasure to meet you Jack” he says sticking out his hand. I smile at him and shake his hand firmly. Shaking his hand I can see, and feel, the muscles in his arms.

“I think you’re going to fit in nicely here” Tony tells me. Mike, Jamie and Vic nod in agreement. I know I’ve only been here for a few minutes but I feel at home.