Status: Active :)

Terrible Things

12 - I'm Tired Of Fighting, Fighting For A Lost Cause

Jack’s POV

I woke up, my head light, my heart pounding. My eyes adjusted to the bright sunlight that shone down in my eyes.

“Hello?” an unfamiliar voice pierced the silence.

“Ugh,” I replied unhelpfully.

“Where am I?” I asked, seriously confused.

“Um you’re on the beach,” the voice replied from beside me, “I’m sorry, are you OK?”

“I’m not a hundred percent sure right now, sorry.”

“That’s alright, you must be pretty hung over,” I heard the slight sloshing of a bottle. Shit. I’d pretty much emptied the entire bottle of Jack Daniels last night. That’s why my head hurt like fuck.

“Yeah, rough night.”

I realised at that point that I was shaking pretty violently; I was freezing, wet and hung over. I must look like shit to top that off.

I sat up, and turned to face my companion. They were a young woman, maybe 25 or so. She was very pretty, long brown hair, and quite tall.

She came and sat beside me, tugging off her jumper and wrapping it around my shoulders.

“You must be pretty cold; you look like you’ve been out here all night.”

I just nodded in response.

We sat in silence for about 10 more minutes, before I remembered how I’d ended up on the beach.


I was still pissed off at him, but I guess I’d calmed down some.

“Sorry, I really need to get home,” I spoke up. I looked at the girl, completely thrown that she was still sat here with me.

“Yeah I guess you do, if you give me a number I can call someone? Let them know you’re ok,” she smiled at me.

“Yeah, pass me your phone and I’ll call my friend let him know I’m OK,” I replied. I didn’t really want to face Alex but his was the only number I knew, and I had to face him at some point.
“Ok,” she passed her phone over to me.

I dialled and waited for the familiar voice to answer.

“Hello?” came his voice down the phone.


“Who is this?”

“It’s Jack.”

“WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU JACK?!” he practically screamed down the phone.

“On the beach,” I mumbled, ashamed that yet again I’d neglected my children.

He breathed a heavy sigh; I could tell he was trying to control his anger towards me. I dunno why, I deserved every bit of anger he had.

“Why are you there?”

“I guess I ran again didn’t I?”

“Please come home now,” he whispered down the phone.

“I will Lex,” I replied.

“Please Jack, you’re scaring them.”

The reality of the consequences of the last 24 hours hit me then. My children had needed me there for them, and I’d run away three times in one day. I really was the scum of the earth.

“I’m really sorry Lex, please tell them I’ll be back soon, and I love them.”

“Will do, come pick them up from mine in 20.”


With that I hung up, and handed my phone back to the nameless girl.

“Thank you,” I told her, hoping she’d realise I meant more than just for the phone call.

“That’s alright; you looked like you needed a friend. I’m Imogen by the way,” she held her hand out for me to shake.

“Jack,” I shook her hand, before removing my hand.

“Now I feel like we’re acquainted properly.”

I nodded in response to her.

“I should really get going; my friend’s kinda pissed off.”

“Cool, I’ll walk with you, make sure you’re OK and all that,” she explained.


We walked back towards my car in silence. I was trying to assess the situation, I was incredibly grateful for this girl who’d stayed by my side this morning, given me her jumper, kept me warm, while I sorted out my sorry excuse for a life. I was eternally thankful for her company as well.

As we reached my car, I acted on a whim and pulled Imogen in for a hug. I needed a hug, and boy did the girl look like she knew how to give a good hug. I wasn’t wrong, hugging her was nice; she seemed to just make me forget all my troubles in those 10 seconds we hugged.

I pulled away, and smiled at her as best I could.

“Thank you so much,” I said to her again.

“It’s alright Jack,” she replied to me, smiling at me, “keep yourself out of trouble now.”

She began to walk away, and again I acted on a whim.


“Yes Jack,” she replied turning back to face me.

“Pass me your phone,” I said.

She handed over her blackberry to me, looking confused as I punched in my number.

And with that, I handed her phone back to her, and got into my car before driving off.

As soon as she was out of sight, I started to think about what I’d just done. I’d given some random girl on the beach my phone number, the day after Leah’s funeral. I was a shit person.

I pulled up to Alex’s house, and got out the car, walking up to the front door, before it was opened up and Alex came out. He frowned at me, before heaving a sigh and pulling me into a hug. I wrapped my arms around him as well and we just stood there like that, before he pulled away and Leo, Isla and Evie came out.

Isla ran up to my arms and I pulled her into hug and kissed her hair; before I put her into her car seat in the back of my car.

Evie was in Lisa’s arms and I took her from Lisa, and put her into her seat in the car.

Leo just glared at me and stalked past me into the front seat of the car.

I just sighed and went back over to Alex.

“Sorry Lex, it won’t happen again.”

“Jack, you know you have every bit of support you could ever need right here. We’re all here for you, even if you do stupid shit. We’ll stick by you through everything. We’re brothers. Don’t ever doubt that,” he whispered to me.

“I guess I was just so tired of fighting, so tired of pretending I was OK, because let’s face it; I’m not. I’m a fucking wreck.” I sighed and raked a shaky hand through my hair. I’d had a bad day.
“Look just don’t give up just yet. It’ll get better I promise.”

“I hope so, I really fucking hope so.”

“I’ll see you tomorrow OK? I’ll drop by and pick up Leo and Isla to take them to school. Then we have a band meeting, which you really need to be there for.”

“K, I’ll see you later.” I waved as I got into my car and drove off, the car filled with silence.

It was only about 5 minutes before we arrived at my house, and I pulled my car into the drive. I got out and helped Isla out the car before removing Evie from her car seat. We made our way inside, and Leo just sidled upstairs, no word spoken. He was furious with me, and it broke my heart.

“I missed you Daddy,” came Isla’s little voice from behind me. I turned around and saw she had tears streaming down her cheeks.

I knelt down beside her and pulled her into my arms, as she sobbed into the crook of my neck. That all too familiar pang of guilt washed over me, so strong that I felt physically sick. I just clung to my little girl, holding her close to me. I’d never heard her cry so hard. They were the sobs of a child who was so afraid of being left alone, of never finding someone she can call home again. And I had done this to her. She eventually calmed down and I put her down on the sofa in the living room and put on Home Alone to keep her entertained while I sorted myself out.

I showered and styled my hair, shaving and washing my face. When I came down I checked my phone and saw I had a new text message. I noticed it was from an unknown number.

“Hey, I guess you gave me your number for a reason, but I dunno what it was. Maybe you want to meet up for coffee and we could talk?”


I had no idea what had possessed me to give her my number, but I was kinda glad I had. I needed someone who didn’t know what I was going through, someone who was on the outside looking in.

Maybe she could be that friend.
♠ ♠ ♠
I know, I know. I'm a bad person.

This took much longer than I anticipated to write, mainly because I have NOT had the chance to update or actually sit down and write.

I went to Paris last weekend with school and there was virtually no wifi or way for me to write this, and then I've had a stressful week of school, as my history coursework is due on Friday!! And then this weekend I was at a music festival! So updates were probably not gonna happen!

However I have written stuff, and I promise it's gonna get ten times better for Jack from now on!

Please message/comment with ideas for where the story can go! I love hearing your ideas and believe it or not I do use your ideas!

Thanks to everyone for commenting/subscribing/recommending, means so much to me!

I've only got a week left of brutal work and stress and then I'm on holiday, so updates will hopefully be much more regular! Stick with me guys :)

Thanks again!

Title Credit - 'Lost Cause' by Beck.