Terrible Things

Jack’s POV
I pulled away from Alex’s chest having sobbed myself raw. My eyes hurt so much, and the light from the window burned. I had no idea how long I’d sat and cried into Alex, but I could tell it had been too long.

Alex had held me the entire time I’d sat there; he had rubbed my back, and whispered comforting things to me. I needed that; I needed my best friend to tell me it was going to be OK, and it would get easier. Although at the moment I can’t say I believed him.

Cass finally walked in, and sat on the other side of me; she looked concerned but stayed quiet for a bit. She understood that what had just happened between Alex and I was private, a moment she didn’t belong in.

“Jack, I know you’re hurting right now, but we need to talk about saying goodbye.” Cass finally whispered.

“I know,” I muttered, “I just don’t want to, it makes it final and real.”

“I know sweetie,” Cass replied, putting a comforting arm around my shoulders.

“What needs organising?”

“Well me and Alex are gonna organise most of it, but you need to write the speech and to choose the music.” she said softly.

“I don’t know if I can stand up and talk about her Cass.”

“Mate, she deserves a good send off. Ya know she’d be pissed if you didn’t help with that, and besides you knew her the best.” Alex chipped in.

I looked down at my hands, and fiddled with the gold band on my left ring finger. I twirled it around on my finger, meanwhile thinking about what I would say about Leah.

“I’ll do it, but what should I say?” I spoke up.

“Just talk about how much you miss her, all the good times, all the bad. Show her that you will never stop caring.” Cass said.

I didn’t want to stand in front of loads of people, most strangers, and talk about those times. Those times were personal, from the small to the big, and we kept them to ourselves. Only Alex knew what our first date was, and that was because he helped me out with it. No-one knew about our little habits that we had. They were ours, not their business, and I didn’t want to start talking about them just because she was gone.

It was those moments I will carry with me for the rest of my life, because those were the things that counted for the most. The memories.

“Jack, just remember we’re here to help if you need it. We’ll look after the kids if you need it, and you absolutely need to call Mr and Mrs George; they’ll want to talk to you.” Cass said.

I nodded unconsciously.

“And Jack,” I looked her in the eye, “please don’t keep shutting people out.”

I nodded again, and made my way to the door.

I drove home in silence, trying to think about what I could talk about; trying to think about what songs to play.

Then it came to me.