Secrets And Lies

Brendon’s POV

I’m sitting on the couch, watching Spongebob with Ryan. Well, actually, he’s the one sitting on the couch. I’m sitting on him, slightly to one side so I can wrap my arms around his neck and rest my chin on his shoulder and give him kisses from time to time. A boring commercial break comes on, and I go back to thinking about yesterday, after I had fixed my eyeliner and I’d taken Ashley to Hot Topic with me. It was only the two of us, the gay guy and the lesbian girl, laughing and having fun, and a few people told me I had quite the catch. I raised an eyebrow to them and said in my deep manly voice so no one would recognize it, “She’s not my girlfriend, she’s one of my best friend’s cousins.” Then we would laugh in their faces and run away.

Flashback Attack

Ashley and I walked into Hot Topic, and she just stared at it all for a second. We went to an actualstore, not one of the little ones in the mall. A full-on, huge, Fred Meyer-sized store filled to the brim with everything we needed.

“Wow, Brendon, there’s a lot of stuff in here…are you sure we can find something for metoday?” Her eyes were wide as she looked at me.

I took a deep breath, puffing out my chest as I answered her. “Yep, I’m a pretty seasoned customer at this store. I know where everything is, prolly as well as the sales people here.”

“Well, stop showing off, and let’s find me something, ‘kay?” She poked my chest in, and all my air came whooshing out of my mouth. We laughed, and were about to dive head-first into the band tees when we were stopped by a pretty sales assistant.

“Can I help you two find anything?” Her smile was genuine, and I saw her check out Ashley from the corner of her eye as she looked at both of us.

“Yeah, actually, that’d be great.” I smiled back at her, and ignored Ashley’s quiet protests and tugs on my arm. “This girl has been smothered and deprived her whole entire life thanks to her mom, and we need to get her a new wardrobe. Could you help us, please?” The whole time, Ashley kept on whispering, “No, Brendon, stop, we can do it on our own, no, shut up,” and then an “ugh” when I was finished.

“I’d be happy to help, but does she really want me to?” The sales assistant looked at Ashley.

“Um, yeah, sure.” Ashley gave a weak smile. I looked at her confusedly, and she just shook her head.

“Okay, my name’s Jessie, just so you know. And you are?” She looked and asked.

“I’m Brandon, and this is Ashley.” I smiled at my cleverness of a fake name for myself.

“Brandon. Huh. You look a lot like Brendon from Panic! at the Disco, have you ever been told that?” I adjusted my huge sunglasses and pulled my hood up just a little bit while I answered.

“Yeah, I get that a lot.” I smiled. “Though, I used to get stared at a lot until I started walking around with this gorgeous thing. Then she stole all my attention!” I laughed, and so did Jessie. Ashley even managed to get a giggle out.

“Well, that’s understandable. I’d ask her out on a date if she wasn’t already yours.”

“Ha, mine? Nah, I’m gay. Ashley’s one of my best friend’s cousin. And totally single.” I smiled at Ashley, and saw her calm face, though if looks could kill, the fire in her eyes would have burned me to a crisp.

“Really now? Ashley, what would you say to maybe lunch with me today? You can just hang out here till I get off in an hour and a half,” Jessie looked rather hopeful.

“Sure, that sounds great, Don’t worry, I’ll be sticking around. I’ve got to get some new clothes, remember?” Ashley was a lot better at the whole staying cool thing than I would have guessed, but then again, I didn’t really know her.

An hour and a half went by quickly, and I had bought Ashley over half of the women’s clothes, But that was okay, because I had quite a bit of money anyway, and it wasn’t gonna go anywhere. So I took the clothes home and put them in Ashley’s drawers while she went to go have lunch with the very attractive Jessie, wearing a whole new outfit. I felt very accomplished, almost like a superhero.

I giggle as the commercials end and I watch the now-smart Patrick rip out his hair in frustration as to why he wasn’t dumb anymore, and I keep on giggling as I remembered an interview done so long ago, back when we weren’t even that famous, and it was a fan-taped interview, too. They asked me and Ryan about what cartoon character we would be. Ryan, of course being oh-so-cool, said Spider Man, and I said Spongebob. Duh, because Spongebob owns Spiderman’s spidey underwear that he wears over his tights. Not that I wouldn’t mind seeing Ryan in tights.

Anyway, there’s a funny story behind this one. I’d been bored one day and watched this YouTube video called “Brendon Urie Is Spongebob”, and it had me as Spongey, and Ryan as Patrick. So now every time I watch Spongebob, I see Ryan as Patrick. And it cracks me up every time.

“What’s so funny, honey?” Ryan rhymes as he holds me closer to him.

“Nothing. I’m just imagining you as Patrick Star is all.” I giggle even more as this shocked look comes across Ryan’s face.

“Hey! I’m not stupid!! That’s not funny,” Ryan pouts. I know he’s seen the video, though, because I’m the one who showed it to him.

“Oh, baby, it is, just admit it. I’m the miserable Spongebob who’s missing his bestest friend in the whole entire world. ‘Cept, you know, Spongebob and Patrick don’t have a thing going on, and we do.” I smile at him.

“Well, who knows? Maybe they do, and maybe there just keeping it a secret from the rest of the world, like we are.” Ryan raises his eyebrows. “You never know!”

“Well, that may be true, ‘cept they would’ve told Squidward, and Squidward would have freaked out and told everybody, so it’s not exactly a secret.” I smile and hold my head up proudly. I won, and he knows it.

All of the sudden, I find myself on the floor, and Ryan’s on top of me. He tackled me!!

“Hey! What gives!!” I squirm and try to break out of his grip, but he’s got my arms pinned down. “No fair!!!” I laugh, though, because now Ryan’s the triumphant one.

“That’s for beating me in the brain game. Not fair, Brenny.” He kisses my nose, and I attempt to reach his lips, but he won’t let me up that far.

“Ryan!!” I whine. “Let me kiss you, pwease?” I give him my best puppy-dog face.

“Oh, Brendon, don’t!!” Now he’s the one whining, and he’s letting me go, and I’m kissing his lips, and he’s holding me close, and everything just feels so right in my world. Nothing could be better.