Dying to Be Happy
Starving for Skinny
I sighed as I looked down at the scale...
98.
Not enough. I had to do better.
It was May now, and school was almost out. I just had to take my state tests and final exams, and then I'd be done with 6th grade. I was back in my house, but my heart was still broken. People had begun to notice that I had gotten slimmer. I started wearing makeup too.
My weight was still the only thing I was thinking of. I had to do something about it.
The day of the state test, I decided that I would start another diet- this time, a diet that would make myself starve.
The day passed, and I didn't eat. I hadn't eaten all day or all afternoon... That night, my stomach was begging for food, but I refused. I tried to do everything to distract myself from food.
The next day, Channel 1 came on the morning news and talked about a girl that had become anorexic. I shrugged and ignored it. [Psh, whatever. I think the chick looks good.] I thought. I bragged to Aubrey about how I hadn't eaten for two days. I was really impressed with myself, despite the fact that I was miserable.
"Dude!" she yelled at me, "Did you not just SEE that girl on TV? She's fucked up!!"
"Nah, I think she looks fine," I debated.
"Dude, she's gross," Aubrey said. I ignored the fact, though. Nothing that anyone could say would make me stop losing weight.
I went the entire day without eating again. It had been three days since I had food, and I felt awful. I decided that I had to eat something. I ate a few bites of a salad on the third day. I was proud of myself.. but I had only lost three pounds.
This summer, something was going to change. And I was going to be thin.
98.
Not enough. I had to do better.
It was May now, and school was almost out. I just had to take my state tests and final exams, and then I'd be done with 6th grade. I was back in my house, but my heart was still broken. People had begun to notice that I had gotten slimmer. I started wearing makeup too.
My weight was still the only thing I was thinking of. I had to do something about it.
The day of the state test, I decided that I would start another diet- this time, a diet that would make myself starve.
The day passed, and I didn't eat. I hadn't eaten all day or all afternoon... That night, my stomach was begging for food, but I refused. I tried to do everything to distract myself from food.
The next day, Channel 1 came on the morning news and talked about a girl that had become anorexic. I shrugged and ignored it. [Psh, whatever. I think the chick looks good.] I thought. I bragged to Aubrey about how I hadn't eaten for two days. I was really impressed with myself, despite the fact that I was miserable.
"Dude!" she yelled at me, "Did you not just SEE that girl on TV? She's fucked up!!"
"Nah, I think she looks fine," I debated.
"Dude, she's gross," Aubrey said. I ignored the fact, though. Nothing that anyone could say would make me stop losing weight.
I went the entire day without eating again. It had been three days since I had food, and I felt awful. I decided that I had to eat something. I ate a few bites of a salad on the third day. I was proud of myself.. but I had only lost three pounds.
This summer, something was going to change. And I was going to be thin.
♠ ♠ ♠
Sorry this chapter is so short... I'm kinda lost right now in my story. My memories have faded a little, so I'm unsure on which details I should put in. I'll work on it, though. I hope y'all are liking it. :)