Dying to Be Happy

One of my favorite times of the year was MLK weekend, because that meant 180 weekend- a church retreat. We worshiped and stayed in host homes and had an absolute blast every year. This year, I was with my group of friends that I was usually with, and we were staying in Ms. Kacie Albritton's home. She was the director of the preschool ministry at church. I kinda knew her, and she was nice, but I had wanted to stay in Ms. Given's home, because she was my favorite teacher.

At the start of 180, we had our worship in the chapel. And I have to say, it was amazing. The theme of this year's 180 weekend was "Collide". We had to make a collision with God. And I planned to do just that. But I didn't plan on colliding with someone else...

On the way to Ms. Kacie's house, I sat in the front seat of the church van by Ms. K. We talked for a while and really got to know each other. I had always made better friends with adults anyway. I was beyond excited. One of my best friends, Jade Miller, was in my group. And we had matching yellow bandanas for our team color. I was beyond excited. Our college leader, Brea, was just as excited as we were.

When we got to the house, we did our devotion. Ms. Kacie had a BEAUTIFUL home. She had a lake in her backyard, and a gameroom, and just an over-all beautiful place. We all slept in the game room in our sleeping bags. It was going to be a great weekend.
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Saturday:

We woke up bright and early ready for the day. We had to make up a cheer for our team and pick a mascot for the relay games later on at church. We picked the yellow jackets. The best part, though, was that I made up the entire cheer! And everyone loved it. It was to the tune of "We Will Rock You":

"We're the yellow jackets, yes that's true
We're better than maroon, purple, green and blue,
And this is our cheer, cause we're the best this year,
So you better pay attention so you can hear.
WE WILL WE WILL STING YOU!
WE WILL WE WILL STING YOU!
YELLOW JACKETS ON THREE! 1...2...3!!"

We all made t-shirts and spirit sticks, and we wore yellow warpaint and eyeshadow. We were yellowed out!

Ms. Kacie had prepared a wonderful breakfast and lunch for us. (That I didn't eat). She was so good to us, and she gave me this feeling that was a little too familiar. I tried to ignore it, though...

My friend, Jana, suggested that we all take a picture. Naturally, I stood next to Ms. Kacie. I made the picture my cover photo on facebook. I was really starting to like Ms. Kacie... She made me happy.

We lost all the relay races, but we didn't care. We had fun doing it! I had customized an old pair of jeans with the name "Johnson" painted on the butt. I had to wear leggings underneath them, though. They kept falling off! Ms. Kaci kept laughing at me and telling me to pull them up. It made me smile when she laughed.

After relay, we all went into the gym for crafts. We had to paint a picture of a collision being made. And I have to say, our picture turned out pretty great! I got to write the word "Collide" in the middle of the canvas. And I sat next to Ms. Kacie the entire time.

We all changed clothes and went to worship after painting. That was the night my life changed forever.

"Lord of all the earth, we shout your name, shout your name.
Filling up the skies with endless praise, endless praise.
Yahweh Yahweh! We love to shout your name oh Lord!"

In that moment, I was definitely in my feelings. My hands were lifted for my savior, and I thanked him for the weekend. I also reflected back on everything that had been going on, and i broke down in tears. "Jesus, save me," I cried. The tears were so overwhelming, but I wasn't the only one crying. We all felt Him. God was in the room and His arms were wrapped around us. I never wanted to leave.

When we did leave, however, Ms. Kacie brought us to Sonic for icecream. Naturally, I didn't get any. I refused to get out of the van, though, because I had cried all of my eyeliner off. Regardless, I had a blast. I was closer to God than I had ever been before , and I knew that Ms. Kacie was my answered prayer for happiness.

Unfortunately, the weekend came to an end. But my love for Ms. Kacie didn't...
I went to church every Sunday morning, night, and Wednesday night... Worshiping was fun... but I think I was there for one thing and one thing only: To appease my dependent personality disorder.