Dying to Be Happy

As 8th grade came to an end, my love for Kacie didn't. I had just told Hope about my dependency issues, and how I had them towards Hope. And we started talking about how I would transition from one dependency to another. Hope asked me, "So, tell me about your dependency on me!" ...But it was too late. "Well, you see... You know how we just talked about transitioning?" I asked nervously. "Uh oh... Is it the leader of the house you stayed at over 180 weekend?" she asked. I nodded with my head down... this was not good.

I started messaging Kacie on Facebook. I told her how much I loved her and appreciated her. There was not a moment that I didn't want to be with Kacie. Eventually, I gave her the name "Mommy Kacie". I had never called anyone Mama before except Hope and my own mother. But Hope told me to stop.

Before 180 weekend, I prayed so hard to God so that He would help me get over my dependency with Hope. And He did just that! However, I had an even bigger dependency on Kacie. And this one wasn't going away.

Kacie took Jade Miller and I to play disc golf with she and her boys. It was one of the best days of my life. I really grew closer to her.

After that, I started hanging out with Mommy Kacie without Jade Miller. We spent a Sunday together, and it was one of my happiest moments ever. We went to Lowe's to take photos of flowers, and then we went to her house and painted the flower on a canvas. Then she cooked supper for me and her whole family, and we actually sat down at the table and ate together as a family- something I was unfamiliar with.

I loved her. I loved her so much. But sometimes love isn't enough.... Sometimes... It's too much.