Dying to Be Happy
Let the Names Begin...
"Why aren't you eating?" Mrs. Button asked me at lunch. Today, I decided to try and skip lunch.
"I'm... not hungry," I stated. That was a lie. I was actually starving.
"Jade," she began, "I care about you. All year you've been complaining about how you're fat. You're not fat. At all. You're too young to be dieting or not eating. Come on, eat something, okay?"
It was true. 5th grade had started, and I still hadn't stopped thinking about my figure. My self esteem really dropped when show choir started. My outfits were way too small for me, because of how much weight I had put on. My stomach poked out of them, and they were EXTREMELY tight. It was so embarrassing. I was about 95 lbs, I guess. But all my friends, Laura, Holly, May, Mary Anna, and Mollynn were still all about 60-70 lbs. I was the only one who wore a 34 B bra size and the only one who had started her period. It was beyond embarrassing.
At my winter talent competition, everyone thought I looked pretty slim in my Santa Clause dress. Everyone except me, of course. I was a little smaller that usual, I guess. But I still wasn't satisfied with how I looked.
I was sipping on my juice during snack time in English class when the first name was called:
"Welche's DIET?!" one kid called out. "Guys, she's actually on a DIET! Cause she thinks she's FAT!" All the boys laughed and high-fived each other.
"I'm not on a diet just because that's the name of my drink!" I said defenseless. I felt my face turn red. "Boys, hush!" Mrs. Button called out. The guys were quiet for a few minutes... but when I was copying history notes, they started again.
"So are you like, ANOREXIC?!" another guy asked me. The whole class was looking at me. I had heard of anorexia, but I never really put much thought into it. I didn't know exactly what it was, besides the fact that it was an eating disorder.
"She probably is!" Scott shouted across the room. "She has an eating disorder or SOMETHING!" The guys kept laughing.
"No I don't!!" I shouted back at him. "I don't have an eating disorder!!" Mrs. Button fussed at us and told us to drop it. But I was one that didn't drop things that easily...
"I'm... not hungry," I stated. That was a lie. I was actually starving.
"Jade," she began, "I care about you. All year you've been complaining about how you're fat. You're not fat. At all. You're too young to be dieting or not eating. Come on, eat something, okay?"
It was true. 5th grade had started, and I still hadn't stopped thinking about my figure. My self esteem really dropped when show choir started. My outfits were way too small for me, because of how much weight I had put on. My stomach poked out of them, and they were EXTREMELY tight. It was so embarrassing. I was about 95 lbs, I guess. But all my friends, Laura, Holly, May, Mary Anna, and Mollynn were still all about 60-70 lbs. I was the only one who wore a 34 B bra size and the only one who had started her period. It was beyond embarrassing.
At my winter talent competition, everyone thought I looked pretty slim in my Santa Clause dress. Everyone except me, of course. I was a little smaller that usual, I guess. But I still wasn't satisfied with how I looked.
I was sipping on my juice during snack time in English class when the first name was called:
"Welche's DIET?!" one kid called out. "Guys, she's actually on a DIET! Cause she thinks she's FAT!" All the boys laughed and high-fived each other.
"I'm not on a diet just because that's the name of my drink!" I said defenseless. I felt my face turn red. "Boys, hush!" Mrs. Button called out. The guys were quiet for a few minutes... but when I was copying history notes, they started again.
"So are you like, ANOREXIC?!" another guy asked me. The whole class was looking at me. I had heard of anorexia, but I never really put much thought into it. I didn't know exactly what it was, besides the fact that it was an eating disorder.
"She probably is!" Scott shouted across the room. "She has an eating disorder or SOMETHING!" The guys kept laughing.
"No I don't!!" I shouted back at him. "I don't have an eating disorder!!" Mrs. Button fussed at us and told us to drop it. But I was one that didn't drop things that easily...
♠ ♠ ♠
Calling a fat person fat is just as bad as calling a thin person anorexic. You don't point out someone's problems. They're aware of it.