Dying to Be Happy

Today's the day. I'm finally starting 6th grade. No more elementary school. No more recess, or 1 teacher, or anything. This was middle school. And I'm not ready.

As soon as I woke up, I realized that I had started my period. [GREAT!] I thought to myself. [JUST what I need. As if I wasn't nervous enough already!]
My periods are HEAVY, since I'm a little big for my size. I leak through ALL the time.

My 1st day of school clothes were already planned out, and I wasn't going to change that! I was going to wear my light blue shorts. I would just have to try my best not to leak.

Immediately, I went to the scale... 106 lbs. This was unacceptable. I look in the mirror... My hair had grown out a little since the haircut. But it still looks terrible. I'm pale, I'm fat, and my hair makes me look ten. How great, right?

Mama drove up to school... I looked at the big building and tears welled up in my eyes. I thought of my favorite teacher that I had in 3rd grade... I wouldn't get to go visit her anymore. I wouldn't see her everyday and get hugs. I don't wanna go in there!
Mom said a prayer, and I finally stepped out of the car. Now here's the beginning to the rest of my life.

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The school was waaaaay bigger than my elementary school. I've been here before, but not all alone...
I walked to the gym to get my schedule. But I had no clue what to do next. I looked around and saw Mollyn and Holly- Thank GOD! I hugged and talked to them for a minute. Mollyn and I had chatted online the night before and IMed pics of our Back to School outfits.
"Hey!" she said, "Like your outfit!" I smiled.
"Yours too!! You didn't tell me you got a haircut!! It looks so CUTE!" Mollyn originally had long, caramel brown hair. But it looks AWESOME this way too. "Holly, you look AMAZING!" I said in shock. What was tha- is that MAKEUP?! No way! "Your mom let you wear makeup?! SO not fair!!" Mom said I can only wear lip gloss this year... But she knows that I've NEVER liked anything on my lips. Not chapstick, not lipstick, not lip gloss. My thing was the eye makeup. I loved eyeliner and eye shadow. Holly made me so jealous- not to mention that she and Mollyn were still about 70 lbs each. We all compared schedules... Mollyn and Holly had almost EVERY class together. I had absolutely NONE with them.
"Well, see ya later!!" Mollyn said as she dragged Holly off to their first period. And once again, I was alone.
"Hey!" said a cheerleader coming towards me. [Cheerleader?] I thought, [Why does a cheerleader want to talk to me?]
"Hey!" she said again, "Do you need help finding your class??" She was perfect... Tall, slim, blonde, tan, fit, and... a cheerleader. I felt so embarrassed... But relieved to know that I had some help.
"Yeah," I replied. I looked down at my schedule. "Do you know where Mrs. Wallace's English class is?" She looked at my schedule.
"Uhm.. Yeah! I do!" she said excitingly. "I'll take you there!" She smiled and led the way. I was sooo going to get lost here. I was directionally challenged, like my mom. We cannot find our way ANYWHERE.

I followed the cheerleader out the gym. She smiled and looked down at me.
"I like your sweater!" she said. "It's cute!" I smiled shyly.
"Thanks," I said back. "You're really pretty." I smiled. I was still embarrassed and nervous. I was one of the youngest in the school. Just a 6th grader... She was an 8th grader. This was basically HER school.
"Mrs. Wallace is nice," she said, "I had her in 6th grade." I smiled as I walked beside her.
"Oh, good," I said in relief. I needed to hear that... Teachers are part of what make me nervous. I've never had a mean teacher... but I still get nervous every year. This year, I'll have SEVEN teachers... Most of them are probably not nice at all!

The cheerleader and I walked down a big, long, blue hallway. I looked around... It was so different than elementary school.
"This is her room!" the cheerleader said in her spunky tone. I looked up at the lady standing outside the door.
"Hello," she said, "I'm Mrs. Wallace." She made me nervous... I looked at the cheerleader.
"Thank you so much," I said. I really couldn't have found this room without her.
"No problem!" she replied. Then she was gone... I looked back at Mrs. Wallace.
"What's your name?" she asked me.
"Uh... Jade," I managed to say. I was so nervous!
"Jade. What?" she asked impatiently.
"Jade... Johnston." I started shaking a little. Mrs. Wallace gave me a friendly smile.
"Oh, okay," she replied, "well, this is your desk right here by the door! And you have easy access to the trashcan!" I looked at my new desk, then back at Mrs. Wallace. But she had already went back in the hall. I looked around the room. I saw a few familiar faces... but no one I was really good friends with. I looked down at my desk. It was so different from the ones we had back at Ridgeland Avenue. These desks are thin and small... and... confusing. How do I sit in this thing? It has a bar blocking my way to sit down, because it connects the chair to the desk. [Whaaat...?] I thought. I looked around again. Mrs. Wallace wasn't looking. As quickly as I could, I stepped in the chair and hopped over the bar to sit down. There was an opening on the other side of the desk... [Oh! That's how you're supposed to do it... I was supposed to walk all the way around to sit in it... Well... That's stupid!] I didn't understand it. Our desks back in 5th grade had openings in the bottom of it. It was a place where we kept all of our work and school supplies. Now, we have to keep EVERYTHING in our backpack. We can't leave anything at school anymore. I looked over to see one of my friends that I used to play soccer with. We weren't really close, but it was good to see a familiar face.
"Hey, Haley Kate," I said to her. She turned around and smiled.
"Hey," she said back. Then she turned around again.
The bell rang. I jumped at the sound of it. That sounded NOTHING like the old bell. Mrs. Wallace came in and locked the door. I looked around my new classroom... It's so different. And there's not many girls in here... The girl in front of me looked about as scared as I did. I could tell that she loved Hello Kitty... Her lunch box and shirt said it all.
"AUDREY HEPBURN!" Mrs. Wallace called out on the roll; then she looked back to see if she read that right.
"Here..." said the girl in front of me. The whole class looked at her.
"Hah!" Mrs. Wallace laughed, "Is that really your name??" The girl looked up at her.
"Yes," she replied. I thought that was kinda cool...
"So, did your parents really like Audrey Hepburn or something?" Mrs. Wallace asked curiously.
"No," she answered, "I was named after my aunt Audrey, and our last name just happened to be Hepburn." I could tell that she had explained that more than enough times...

This class was boring, so far. It's not like the 1st day of elementary school where you do coloring sheets all day. I had to fill out a sheet with my full name, parent's names, and their jobs. I wasn't exactly sure what their professions were!
"You may take these home if you need help from your parents," Mrs. Wallace said, "but you MUST bring it back TOMORROW." After that note, I sure wouldn't forget!

The bell rang fifty minutes later, and it was time to find my next class: Math. I walked up and down the big hallway, but I could NOT find Mrs. Kraft's room. I suddenly saw a hallway in the middle of this hallway that led to ANOTHER hallway. That confused me. I had to push through everyone to see where I was going. When I made it out of the crowd, my class was the room exactly in front of me. I looked over at the lady standing by the door.
"Hey!" she said happily, "What's your name?" she smiled brightly at me.
"Jade Johnston..." I said quietly.
"Hey Jade!" she exclaimed. "I'm Mrs. Kraft!" I faced the lady to get a second look. [No way...] I thought, [This cannot be right... This lady is so.. YOUNG. Kinda like my 3rd grade teacher, Ms. Smith.] Mrs. Kraft had blonde hair and brown eyes, like Ms. Smith- except they look NOTHING alike. "You may sit anywhere you want!" she clarified for me. I sat down in the middle of the room. Not one familiar face in sight. [Perfect].

"Hey y'all! The bell is about to ring in about five minutes! Does anyone need help figuring out where their next class is?" I smiled. [She is SO my favorite teacher so far. I love this lady!]
A creepy, gothic kid raised his hand. "Yes?" Mrs. Kraft answered.
"Where is Mrs. Revlehcs' class?" I looked down at my schedule... It turns out that that's my next class too. [Oh great...] I thought.
"Who else has Mrs. Revlehcs next period?" Mrs. Kraft asked the class. I looked around; but I was the only one with my hand up.
"Her class is right down the hall, three doors down from mine!" she explained. "You two are gonna travel together to find it." She smiled sweetly. [Swell...] I thought [Now I get to walk to class with this dude...] Mrs. Kraft was helping out other kids when the bell rang. "Have a great day, y'all! See ya tomorrow!"

I walked outside the door to look for my next class. The scary boy had already left, and I was all alone. The hallway was so crowded. There weren't NEARLY this many people at my old school. But then again, this was the combination of both elementary schools put together.
I found my next class after wandering through the hall. There was a little, short lady with big blue eyes standing near the door.
"Go on in and find the desk with your name on it!" she kept repeating as students came through the door.
I did what she said. My desk was right in the front of the room by her desk... Oh joy. I sat in the weird desk and looked around the room. It was so big.. and there was another room connected to it! There were painted paper mache' masks hung around the room. There was a platform at the front of the room... I figured she needed it to stand on. I searched the room for people I knew. And guess who the first face I saw was!
"Oh my God...." he said aloud. Believe me, I was just as thrilled as he was.
"Hey Jayce," I called out to him. He just shook his head. [Well this is fun,] I thought, [my stepbrother is in my art class.] I rolled my eyes. The bell rang, and everyone found their desk. Mrs. Revlehcs came in and hopped on top of the platform.
"GOOD MORNING!" she shouted at us. I jumped a little in my chair. "Get out the handbooks! We get to go over the dress code!" I did what the little old lady said. For an old person, she sure had a lot of energy...
"No tank tops! No see-through clothes! Your shorts, dresses, and skirts MUST be at least as long as your finger tips!! No tattoos, no piercings besides your ears, no hats, no bandanas, no head scarfs, no sunglasses, no chains, no bra straps showing, boys may NOT dress like females, you must be FREE from obnoxious odors, always wear shoes, NO SAGGING PANTS, no clothes with profanity or gang signs, and ABSOLUTELY NO holes in your jeans!!" I looked down at my shorts. [Crap...] That's a LOT of stuff that we CAN'T do... I mean, Lord...
I raised my hand. "Mrs. Revlehcs?" I asked, "Are my shorts okay...?" Her big eyes glared at the small hole in my shorts, that was covered by strands of ripped blue jeans.
"No, I'm afraid not," she responded, "You can't wear those anymore." Her voice was so strict and low... It scared me. She scared me.

After a long fifty minutes, the bell rang. But I wasn't free from this room... It turns out that Mrs. Revlehcs is also my literature teacher. [Cool...Just what I need.]
"Well, go find your other desk with your name on it!" Mrs. Revlehcs said impatiently.
[Geeze, woman... Don't talk to me like I'm stupid...] I did what she said, then the lunch bell rang. When I sat at the lunch table, I sat by a few girls that I knew from 5th grade. But they were popular, so we weren't like best friends. I soon noticed this girl that had caught my attention ever since she moved here in the 4th grade. She was so mysterious.. I wanted to know more about her. She had bleach, blonde hair and bright blue eyes. She always wore a green sports jacket or a Mickey Mouse sweatshirt that was way too big for her. I didn't know her at all, but I always payed close attention to her. The girl was a few seats away from me at the end of the table. She was sitting by herself eating a sandwich. I felt bad for her... but I didn't know what to say! I'm terrible at making friends!
"You can come sit with me, you don't have to sit all by yourself; it's okay!" I said to her. [Wow, that was lame...]
"Okay," she responded quietly. The girl moved down towards me and sat in the seat right next to mine. "Uhm..." she began, "Your name is Jade, right?" she asked. [Huh, she knows my name.]
"Uh, yeah! ...And your name is... Mailee?"
"Yeah!" she replied, "I think I know who you are! You're friends with Tye!" Tye was a friend of mine since 3rd grade.
"Yeah, I am," I said. I was running out of things to say. I didn't know what to talk about! I ate a little of my ham and cream cheese wrap.
"So..." Mailee began, "What are your tongue tricks?!" I nearly spit my food out...
"Hah, what??" I laughed. I looked at her as if she were crazy.
"Yeah!" she answered. "I can do a three-leaf clover with my tongue! Wanna see?!" Before I could answer, she was already doing it. I laughed and smiled.
"Haha! I can't do that... I don't really have any 'tongue tricks'." I kept laughing, though.

When it was time for 5th period, I said goodbye to Mailee. I went out in the hallway, and boom: I'm lost. [Where in the world...?] I looked at my schedule. I couldn't go back through the middle hallway, because you can only come in through the other hall. I left the big blue hallway and wandered around the main hall. I was so confused and SO lost.
"6th GRADER!! RIGHT SIDE OF THE HALL!!" I turned around to see the principal yelling at me to walk on the right side of the hall. [WELL THEN,] I thought. [What a nice welcome to the school!!]. The last thing I wanted was to be late for class on my first day of school. I managed to find my way back to the other hallway. I pushed my way through all the students and finally found Mrs. Yale's class. I ran inside and sat in the nearest desk I could find. Right then, the bell rang. My nervous heart was pounding out of my chest.
"Hey!" whispered the girl next to me. It was Mailee! "Oh my gosh, hey!" I was so relieved to see her! But that relief quickly disappeared...
"GET OUT YOUR HANDBOOKS!!!!" shouted the teacher as she slammed the door. I took a wild guess and figured out that this woman was Mrs. Yale. She had a sweet face to her; long, straight, light brown hair, pretty eyes, slim figure... She was GORGEOUS. "NOW!!" she yelled back at us. I immediately did what she said. But now my anxiety level had gone waaaaaaay up! As sweet and pretty as Mrs. Yale looked, she was MEAN. She sat on top of her desk with the handbook in her hands.
"Okay.... ABSOLUTELY, NO writing on the bathroom walls!" Mailee and I looked at each other... She had the same expression of 'Please help me' as I did. "Y'all," Mrs. Yale began, "Honestly. DO NOT write on the bathroom walls, okay? I mean, really. It just looks like crap-ola. I'm being serious." Everyone looked around at each other and started giggling. We have NEVER had a teacher to say the word crap before...
"HEY!" she yelled. "NO. TALKING." We were quiet. "OKAY. I'm going to give y'all a list of my pet peeves... Do any of y'all know what that even means?" No one dared to answer. She rolled her eyes. "What a pet peeve is.. SOMETHING I CANNOT STAND. It just things that I HATE. this list on the board: My pet peeves." I looked over at Mailee. She was about as scared as me. "PET PEEVE #1: NO. TALKING!" She wouldn't have to worry about that from me! "TWO!: BEING INTERRUPTED. I cannot stand being interrupted, y'all. SO DON'T DO IT!" ...Message received. "THREE: WHEN Y'ALL DON'T TURN IN YOUR HOMEWORK OR GET YOUR WORK DONE!" That made me nervous... I've never really had a problem with that... but it's happened many times before.

The day went on, and the last two periods were painless. Mailee was actually in those classes with me too!
When I went home, I instantly grabbed my phone and texted Laura about my day. I cried and I cried to my mom. I didn't like this new school, I wanted to go back to Ms. Smith, and I didn't wanna do all the work. Everyone had gotten so pretty over the summer... And I got fat and ugly. This year is going to be the death of me... But it's only just the beginning.