Heartaches Knocking on Her Door

“Bam bam!” Ville smiled, laying his head back on the pillow. He felt Liv turn towards him, peeking out from under the blanket.

“How the fuck are you man? How’s touring?” Came is gruff voice over the line. Ville could hear a dull chatter in the background.

“I am” he turned to smile at a slowly awakening Liv, her hair in dark tangles around her face, lids half opened, hiding her beautiful hazel eyes, Ville smirked, “I’m euphoric” Liv stuck her tongue out at him before retreating back under the blanket. He chuckled, “Um and touring? Well, same old same old, you know how it’s like now that you’re touring with Fuckface Unstoppable.”

Bam laughed on the other end “What the hell are you on Walo, and where can I get some. Ah actually I’m not touring anymore, something came up, which is why I called, dude I’m getting married to Nikki”
Ville’s smile widened. “Congratulations. I don’t know her all too well but if you’re happy and love her, then why the fuck not”

“Exactly!” exclaimed Bam. “Okay so it’s settled then, I’m flying you out to Westchester on the 11th for my bachelor party, I know its kinda early, but I got this charity thing to do before the wedding.”

“Slow down there, I’d love to be there for you but I need to check with Seppo first, I mean, we don’t have a show on that date but…” Ville ran his hand through his hair, he wanted to go, he really did, despite his reservations over the amount of drinking he was likely to do.

“who the fuck do you think I am? I already talked to Seppo, he said it’s fine. The wedding’s on the 28th, my birthday, in Iceland, so I know you can’t make it out, believe me I argued with Seppo for half an hour over canceling that one fuckin show. Anyways, you gotta come out for my bachelor party since you won’t be able to come out for the actual wedding. You owe it to me man. Oh hey, did you ever end up with that chick? Liv?”

Ville eyes widened, he looked over at Liv’s form under the blanket. “Um, Bam, what?”

“Ah fuck, you know if you want it kept a secret I will, but come on, don’t try to bullshit me.” Bam laughed.

“Fine, yes, we’re together” Ville couldn’t help but smile, it felt good to tell someone who so clearly didn’t not approve, as Seppo had.

“Awesome! I bet she’s with you right now, hey tell her she’s invited to Nikki’s bachelorette party, same day as mine, and she’s invited to the wedding too, though she probably won’t make it out that day either. Okay I gotta go but yeah I booked Liv and yours flight over on the 11th from Edmonton, so get ready for a fuckin rowdy night. Talk to ya later.” He hung up. Ville couldn’t help but smile at his impulsive friend as he set his phone aside on the bedside table.

He sat up, rubbing his eyes. After crawling back into bed earlier that night, he’d slept like the dead, being in Liv’s arms, the relief of her body next to his. A shudder suddenly ran down his spine as Liv’s Face, in the throes of ecstasy, sprang up behind his closed lids. He sat up, he didn’t want to leave this hotel room, if I could, I’d stay here all day with Liv, but then there’s Jesse, and the guy’s wanted to go out for lunch. He sighed standing up and waking over to turn on the lights in Liv’s hotel room, feeling the chill of the day on his bare torso, having gone to bed in just his boxer briefs.

He looked over at the lump under the cover’s which was Liv’s balled up sleeping form.

***

Liv’s eyes flew open as her blanket was viciously ripped off of her, the rooms chill enveloping her bundled figure, dressed in her oversized Iron Maiden tee shirt, goosbumps running up her bare legs.

“Oh! Sorry love, did I wake you” she heard Ville manage to spit out between chuckles. She peered over at him from where he stood at the end of the bed, clutching the blanket, bare chest rumbling with his laughter, hair a mess, but eyes bright as he took in her stunned continence. She gave him the death stare.

“Not at all darling” She managed to smile sarcastically before pulling the pillow out from under her head and tossing it at Ville, hitting him in the side, much to his amusement.

Liv grumbled and reached blindly for another pillow, her eyes still adjusting to the brightness in the room.

Suddenly Ville was on her, pinning her to the bed as he kneeled over her waist, his hand locked around her wrist, stopping her from grabbing another pillow. “Oh no you don’t” He chuckled.

Liv twisted, smirking, trying to fight him off, she had managed to find another pillow, gently giving him a whack in the side.

“That’s it!” He teased, “you’re going to get it now kultaseni” (my love) He locked her other wrist in a vice with his other hand, bringing both her wrists down onto the bed on either side of Liv’s head. She struggled more, biting her lip to keep from smiling, but she couldn’t move an inch, giving up as a smug look crossed Ville’s face.

“fine!” Liv exclaimed rolling her eyes, her smile breaking free, “you win, I admit defeat, do your worst”

Ville smirked, shaking his head to brush aside a dark curl hanging over his eyes, he intertwined his fingers with Liv’s, still keeping her pinned to the bed. Then he slowly lowered himself, just close enough for his lips to be inches from Liv’s. “My worst you say?” He raised a brow as his bottom lip skimmed against Liv’s, her heartbeat picking up under him. “Hmm” He lowered his head, letting his nose skim along Liv’s jawline before running it down her chin and down her chest, between her breasts over her tee shirt, before looking up from her stomach. “My worse? My worse darling would be doing nothing at all” and with a mischievous grin he released Liv’s hands and began to get up off of her.

“tease!” Liv called after him as he got up off the bed and began to put his pants on. She stood up on the bed, wincing slightly at the small pain between her legs, but ignoring it she grabbed the last pillow and held it up threateningly, running her free hand through the knots in her hair.

Ville quickly zipped them up before going to stand right before Liv, arms up in surrender before wrapping them around her legs, leaning his cheek against her stomach with a tender smile. “How are you feeling love?” He let go and looked up at her as she ran her fingers through his hair.

“I feel” Liv bit her lip, trying to find the right words, “I feel loved” Ville ran a hand down her bare leg. “I, well I use to feel so utterly alone after my mother died, and since meeting you pieces of that parasitic loneliness on my heart has been breaking away, and right now, it’s completely gone. That sound’s dumb, but I’m not as eloquent as you are.” Liv shrugged, wrapping her arms around Ville’s neck.

Both Ville’s hands slid up Liv’s legs, to the back of her thighs, then he pulled, buckling Liv’s knee’s. He wrapped her legs around him, holding her up, his arms locked behind her back. Liv chuckled at the sudden movement, leaning her forehead against his as he smiled. “It doesn’t sound ‘dumb.’ It sound’s beautiful, like you my darling.” He softly brought his lips to Liv’s. “Would I make you blush if I told you how remarkable you were last night”

Liv couldn’t help it, redness crept over her cheeks. “Yes” She thought back on last night, smiling as her blush deepened. She’d never been so open, so trusting in anyone. I still feel like a fucking moron for that sleeping pill thing though. I need to stop jumping to conclusions, making up these scenarios in my head where Ville doesn’t want me, where he leaves.

“Speaking of last night” Ville smirked, a guilty look in his eyes. He carried Liv to the bathroom, stopping in front of the large mirror above the sink. “It seems as if darling, I left a little love mark on you”

Liv turned in Ville’s arm to look at herself in the mirror, sure enough though there was a large red mark at the base of her neck. “Ville!” Liv exclaimed, faking anger, it truly didn’t bother her. “How am I going to cover this darn thing?”

Ville scoffed sarcastically, carrying Liv out of the washroom. “Cover my display of affection? How dare you!” He laughed before giving Liv’s hickey a kiss. “I’ll lend you a scarf.”

Liv sighed. “Hopefully that’ll do. Hey, what did Bam call about.” She’d heard Ville say his name, and though she had tried to go back to sleep, she’d been deadly curious.

Ville set her down on the bed before kneeling down in front of her suitcase. What’s he doing?, Liv thought.

“He called to announce his engagement to Nikki and to invite me to his bachelor party on the 11th in Westchester, actually no, more like tell me my flight has been booked.” He tossed a black tee shirt over his shoulder towards Liv. She caught it, opening it up curiously, it was her Ozzfest tee.

“That’s exciting. I don’t really know him or Nikki all too well but that makes me really happy, they seemed so, so in tune with each other back in Oulu. And the both of them were very, open and friendly with me.” Liv shrugged, smiling. Ville tossed Liv one of her black bra’s, she caught it and began slipping off her sleep shirt. “Did you know that he predicted this, us I mean.” She struggled with the hook on the back of her bra.

Ville turned to face her, a tilt in his head. “Really? You never told me this before.” He ran a hand through his hair.

Liv pulled on the Ozzfest tee shirt. “It never came up I guess, but yeah, back in Oulu after that night he found me outside my tent and we had a little chat. He knew then, that there was something, though I denied it and he said that if there wasn’t then there would be. He um” Liv blushed, “He also said something about you looking at me like he never saw you looking at Jonna.”

Ville grinned before turning back to Liv’s suitcase, “He’s far more intuitive then people give him credit for.” He tossed a pair of dark gray skinny jeans at Liv.

“I’ll miss you while you’re gone” Liv sighed, biting her lip as she got off the bed and began putting on the pants. She told herself not to worry.

Ville stood up, a black blazer and black beanie in his hand, he crossed the room, tossing the clothes on the bed, placing a large, warm, ringed hand on Liv’s cheek as she finished zipping up the jeans, a smirk on his face. “You won’t have to, I forgot to tell you the best part.”

“oh?” Liv brought her hands up, resting them on Ville’s still bare chest, pressing her body against him.

“Nikki invited you to her bachelorette party, we’ll be flying over together.” He locked his hands behind Liv’s back.

A huge grin spread across her face and she threw her arms around Ville’s neck, excitedly crashing her lips against his, feeling Ville’s smile against her lips. “I can’t wait. We’ll be at separate parties but the flight and, and”

“and I’ll book us a hotel room” Ville smirked, rubbing his hand up and down Liv’s back as she beamed up at him.

Finally, finally some extended period of time alone with him! I’ll be counting down the days. “Wait, Ville, what about the wedding?”

“We were invited to that as well, along with the guys, but only out of courtesy, Bam knows we have a show, it’s going to be on the 28th in Iceland, so unfortunately we won’t be able to make it, as much as I’d love to be there for him.” Ville shrugged, reaching past Liv and holding out the blazer for her.

Liv raised a brow. “What’s with the dress up today?”

“Well darling, I figured the rest of your wardrobe had to match my scarf”

Liv laughed aloud, grabbing the blazer from Ville, slipping it on. “So I’m you today?”

“Exactly. Now, do you know where I tossed my shirt last night?” Ville asked, eyes darting around the room.

“Um, I was a little distracted last night so unfortunately no” Liv watched as Ville’s eyes clouded over, she could tell he was remembering just how distracted she had been. Liv blushed, but continued, “but don’t put your shirt on just yet” Liv smiled to herself as she left Ville’s side, going over to her bag of photography equipment. She’d been wanting to do this for a while, but like always, there was never enough time alone with him.

She dug out her polaroid camera, holding it up to show an amused Ville, who stood, bare inked arms crossed across the bed. “I uh, I was hoping you’d let me take a few photographs of you, and I mean you, not Ville Valo lead singer of HIM, but my Ville.” She bit her lip as she walked over to him.

Ville ran a hand through his unkempt hair, “Liv, you don’t have to ask.”

Liv flashed him a nervous smile before hiding behind the camera, allowing Ville to pose himself. Having not done any photography the day before had been stressful. She needed photography, it calmed her nerves in a way, made her feel whole, needed, useful, partially fulfilled. She began taking pictures as Ville sat down on the bed, his knee’s crossed, his face neutral, seemingly expressionless, but portraying to Liv everything, just through his eyes, her heart began to race. It had a tendency to do that often in his presence.

“Ville, what did you ever do with that one photograph I took back in, where was it…”

“Hildesheim” Ville cut in instantly, the corners of his mouth twitching upwards, “I kept it, it holds some sentimental value to me, as these will too, at least, the ones I manage to steal from you.” He shifted his position, laying down on the bed, knee’s up.

Liv took a side shot, gently pulling aside the photograph after it came out. “Is there a specific significance to the photograph?” Liv asked as she hopped up on the bed, standing over Ville, fixing his hair so it formed a frame around his face.

“You, my love, my talented muse, were somehow able to photograph the exact moment I realized I loved you. Of course I loved you far earlier than that, far far earlier, but that moment, caught in the photograph, that was when the words had actually formed in my mind, when I discovered what I hadn’t been able to do in so long, and that was love, love you.” Liv photographed as he spoke, catching the expressions of devotion on his face, her heart warming.

A shrill ring interrupted the loving silence. Ville grumbled before rolling over and answering his phone. Liv sighed, it’s probably someone wondering where he is, in other words, it’s time for him to go. She bit her lip as she got off the bed, gathering together the polaroid’s, listening to Ville answer the phone.

“Hello” He said, swinging his legs over the side of the bed.

Liv tucked the polaroid’s away in with her camera gear, heart sinking, unwilling to let Ville go. Though, she smiled to herself, I do have something to look forward to, and only in what? Ten more days away?

Ville began speaking in Finnish, and though Liv could catch a few words, he spoke too rapidly for her to fully understand, so she tuned out the conversation, grabbing the beanie from beside him, putting it on over her mess of curls and going over to the washroom to brush her teeth.

Liv tapped her fingers on the counter as she stared at herself in the mirror. I look different, she thought. The last time she had looked at herself in the mirror, really looked at herself, had been a long time ago, back in May. I don’t see my mom, I don’t see myself either, at least, not who I was back then. I mean, my hairs longer but there’s more than that. She absentmindedly began strumming the notes to Sleepwalking Past Hope on the counter, her fingers moving across an imaginary piano. What’s changed though?

Liv gave a small jump as Ville came up behind her, having put on his Type O negative beater from the night before, he wrapped his arms around her waist and rested his chin on her shoulder.

“Sorry love, didn’t know I was that terrifying to look at in the morning” He grinned.

Liv smiled. She looked at the mirror at their reflections, the age difference painstakingly obvious. She bit her lip before shaking her head of the thought. “So, do we have to venture out into the world now?”

“I’m afraid so.” Ville sighed, kissing the hickey on the side of Liv’s neck. “But it’ll be fine, we are all going out for drinks tonight, and if you’d like, you can come with me and Jesse, we’ve got appointments at a local tattoo parlor, I have a friend who works there, been meaning to get something done by him for a while.”

Liv raised a brow, turning her head so she could look right at Ville. “You’re getting another tattoo? What of?”

“Tears on Tape in malachim next to my Venus Doom tattoo. I’m sure if you’d like I can get the artist to do something for you, although, he might not be attractive enough, and we might just have to get you proper fucked up first.”

“Ha! You don’t mind another man between my thigh’s then?” Liv began to blush at her own words as she turned in Ville’s arms, wrapping one arm around his neck, the other winding itself into his hair, playing with his ringlets.

“Oh I don’t mind, but I absolutely protest against another tattoo in such a place” He smirked, suddenly pulling Liv up against his body.

“Now why is that?” Liv whispered in his ear, allowing her lips to graze Ville’s neck.

“Well kultaseni” Ville whispered back, his voice dropping lower, “Where once you were insatiable, it seems as if I didn’t know what I’ve been missing all this time, I’ve become quite gluttonous.” He ran his hands down Liv’s sides, “A tattoo in such a place would be a great imposition.”

Liv bit her lip with yearning as shivers ran down her spine. “If you keep talking like that I’m going to bar the door and not let you leave.” Liv pulled away, slowing her breathing as she walked out of the bathroom, grabbing her black leather converse from the floor and beginning to put them on.

Ville chuckled as he grabbed his own pair of shoes to put on. “I’m not ever going to stop talking like this, I am you’re monster oh Dr. Frankenstein, you’ve galvanized something within me, I’m ravenous now.” His chuckle grew louder at Liv’s blush deepened.

Liv bit her lip, happy with herself. She hadn’t had much time to think twice last night about sleeping with Ville, her yearning for him had come on so suddenly, though she had wondered after if she had been good enough, for Ville, who had had other partners. She’d worried whether she was any good, but hearing how ‘ravenous’ he was now, it lifted a slight weight from her shoulder. She grabbed her belongings, stuffing them in her purse, slinging it over her shoulder, waiting for Ville at the door.

“Your blush is far more beautiful than any sunrise. I absolutely love it.” Ville said, checking his pockets for all his belongings and walking over to Liv.

“I love you minun hirviö”(my monster) Liv smiled before putting her hand on the handle. “Ready?”

“Not quite” Ville smirked, “first” He grabbed Liv, holding her by the back of the head with one hand, the other gripping her lower back. He urgently brought his lips to Liv’s, moving them lustfully against hers.

Liv kissed him back hungrily, trying to make up for all the kisses she wouldn’t be able to give him in the days to come. Her body wanting nothing more than to have him again, she managed to detangle herself from him, though his arms were unwilling to let her go. Liv caught her breath, leaning her forehead against Ville’s rapidly rising and falling chest, before grabbing the door handle once again and pulling it open.

She peered around the hotel hallway, empty. Turning back to Ville she asked, “So what’s the plan?”

Ville scratched the back of his head, pursing his lips in thought before replying, “You come with me to my hotel room, I’ll grab you that scarf, and if we see anyone we know we tell them that we ran into each other very early this morning, unable to sleep, and that we went out for breakfast, we’ve only just returned.”

“Devious. I like it.” Liv grinned up at Ville.

“And if we see anyone before I fetch you the scarf and they remark upon your neck, well, then tell them it’s the devil’s mark, you had a date at midnight with Nosferatu.” Ville said, a dramatically evil smile on his lips.

Liv chuckled, leading the way out of the room and towards the elevator, Ville beside her. The elevator doors dinged open, empty, the two stepped inside nervously, waiting inside in silence for the doors to close on them.

Ville turned to Liv, seriousness in his face. “I think when we return to Hels I’ll introduce you to mamma and papa, as my dame that is.” He took a step towards Liv where she leaned against the wall in the corner of the elevator.

Liv bit her lip nervously. She’d never been formally introduced to a boyfriends parents before. What will they think of the age difference? I worry too much about this fuckin age difference.

Ville lifted his hand, smoothing out the worry lines on Liv’s forehead. “There is absolutely nothing to worry about, not my parents, not me, not your job. You worry far too much love. Smile, be happy, be content, if you keep itching for a worry you’re going to create one out of thin air, as you have a tendency to do. Breath.” Liv could see the urge in him to break the small barrier they had both put up, now that they were out in public.

“You’re right” She sighed. Liv adjusted the beanie on her head, smiling up at Ville. I don’t even have to say a word, he knows. The elevator came to a stop on Ville’s floor, but before the doors could open Liv gave Ville a quick kiss, pulling away as soon as she heard the doors begin to slide open. She felt his hand on her back as he followed her out.

The floor was empty. Liv didn’t have to ask to know which room Ville had, he usually asked for the same one, room 666, she stopped in front of his door, waiting for him to fish out his key card, when she heard a door down the hall open.

“Ville!” Exclaimed an accented man’s voice.

Liv turned just as Ville swung open his door. There was no mistaking who it was fast approaching them. Jesse, Liv thought as she tried to pull up the collar of her blazer in an attempt to cover her hickey. They look almost identical. He was tall and thin, much like his brother. Light brown hair in a short pony at the nape of his neck. He wore a white tee shirt with Finnish scrawled across it, dark wash jeans and navy vans. Liv watched as Jesse took her in with a curious gaze before stopping before the two, an amused smile spreading across his face as he began to look from Liv to Ville.

***

Ville sighed, his brother was jumping to conclusions, though they were probably right.

“Hi I’m Jesse” Ville watched as Jesse extended a hand towards Liv, hardly able to contain the smirk on his face. Ville leaned against the doorframe beside Jesse, crossing his arms. “and you must be traagisesti kaunis”(tragically beautiful) He turned his neck to give Ville a mischievous grin. Ville shot him an unhappy look in return.

“Um what?” Liv gave Ville a confused stare, biting her lip and adjusting the purse around her shoulder.

How the fuck did he figure it out so quickly, smart bastard. Ville ran his hand through his hair, “Jesse this is Liv Manning, our photographer, and as you may have guessed Liv, this is my oh so charming brother” Sarcasm dripped from his tone.

“No katso tuota! Salainen rakkaus on traaginen nainen huomasin eräänä iltana. Näyttää siltä, ​​että olet helpotti hänen tuskaansa.”( Well look at that! Your secret love is the tragic woman I saw the other night. It seems as if you eased her pain.) Jesse gave Ville a nudge with his elbow, a toothy grin on his face as he gave Liv the once over.

“Lopeta puhuminen suomeksi, se on epäkohteliasta.”( Stop talking in Finnish, it’s rude.) Ville grumbled. “Liv let me just grab you that scarf and you can go on ahead of us, see if you can gather the rest of the guys for lunch” Liv gave a quick nod before her eyes turned to Jesse, who was still looking from Ville to Liv, Ville sighed. He dipped into his room, which was in utter disarray as usual, digging through a pile of clothes on the ground before pulling out one of his many scarves, a plain black one. He rushed out to the hallway where Liv stood chuckling, her lovely curls swaying around her face under her beanie. She looked up as Ville came out and began laughing harder.

“Jesse just told me an interesting little tale about you playing soccer when you were younger, ending up in a tree before the match was over. You don’t play well with others do you?” She covered her mouth to keep the chuckles from escaping.

Ville remembered the match all too well. It was a stupid amusing story from his childhood, he was happy that it had been able to put such a brilliant smile on Liv’s face. He handed her the scarf, letting his fingers graze hers as she accepted it from him.

“I’ll see you two later then” She gave a wave before turning to leave, wrapping the scarf snuggly around her neck as she walked down the hall towards the elevators.

Ville sighed as he watched her go. The 11th will be here soon, Ville told himself before looking at Jesse. “Kuinka tiesit?”(how did you know?) He didn’t wait for Jesse to reply, walking into his hotel room.

Jesse walked in after Ville, closing the door behind him. He crossed his arms, facing Ville, a smug look on his face. “Alkajaisiksi olet pukeutunut täsmälleen samat vaatteet kuin eilen, toisin sanoen, teit kävellä häpeän. Toiseksi hän on ilmeisesti ikävä traagisesti kaunis, harkitsee reaktio tarinani viime yönä. Kolmanneksi hän on Hickey kaulassa, johon lainasi huivi kattamaan. Pitäisikö minun mennä?”( For starters you are wearing the exact same clothes as yesterday, in other words, you just did the walk of shame. Secondly she is obviously miss tragically beautiful, considering your reaction to my story last night. Thirdly she has a hickey on her neck, which you lent her the scarf to cover. Should I go on?)

Ville opened his mouth to stop Jesse from continuing, but he was cut off.

“Neljänneksi miten asiaa hänelle. En ole varma, jos huomaat sen itse, mutta sen ulkoasua puhdasta palvontaa, rakkautta, kaipuuta. Jos olit tyttö sanoisin olit korviaan myöten, olet pään yli, istukat? doc martens? Joko niin miten on kukaan selville te kaksi vielä? En voi olla veljesi, mutta kaikille se olisi todella ilmeistä, että te kaksi sn kohde. Miksi pitää sen salassa nyrkki paikassa?”( fourthly the way you look at her. I’m not sure if you realize it yourself, but it’s a look of pure adoration, love, longing. If you were a girl I’d say you were head over heels, you’re head over, chucks? doc martens? Either way, how has no one found out about you two yet? I may be your brother, but to anyone it would be really quite obvious that you two are an item. Why keep it a secret in the first place?) Jesse leaned against the door watching as Ville fumbled for words

Is it really that obvious? If it were, why hasn’t anyone said anything yet? “It’s not that simple Jesse” Ville grumbled, stripping off his beater in search of another shirt to wear, switching to English “If you haven’t noticed there is a tad bit of an age difference. 15 years in fact, she’s only twenty one, it, it’s taboo. People will pass their unwanted judgement, I don’t want to deal with it, not yet at least, and neither does Liv.” Ville grabbed a dark green Moterhead tee shirt out from a pile on the ground, pulling it on.

“Ville, what about Gas? Him and Natali have a similar age difference. None of the guys gave him a hard time, why would the situation be any different for you?”

Ville rubbed his face in frustration. “They wouldn’t take me seriously. I’ve thought about this time and time again, every time I ask myself, why is it again you can’t be with her? Hold her? Kiss her? They would think I’m some love sick fool, falling for a pretty, young thing.”

“Well aren’t you” Jesse asked seriously, fixing his pony tail.

“No, I’m serious about her Jesse, far more so than any other women I’ve been with. It’s hard to describe.” He took a seat on the edge of his bed, the weight of the words heavy as they flowed from him, unspoken thoughts which he’d tucked away deep in the confounds of his mind. “I loved Jonna, I did. I was prepared to marry her, but Jesse, this, this is more than that, and that’s what no one would believe. We’ve only been together a little while but already it’s as if, it’s, my every thought is about her, I love her, I’d do anything for her. Truthfully, even I was put off by her age at first, but it wasn’t long before I couldn’t stand it any longer. I want her, I want to be with her, I’d like for me and her to progress into a far more serious relationship.”

“Ville, you can’t expect that from a 21 year old who’s just beginning to experience the world.” Jesse said, sticking his hand in his pockets.

“I know that, and that is why I’m going to wait. I’m going to give her as much time as she needs to be in such a place as to truly know what she wants, to, to mature more. I’ll wait until she is ready, but until then I’m content with what we have now, though the ever looming danger of our secret getting out is an unwanted pull on our relationship. I think I love her far more then she’ll ever know.” He ran his hands through his hair. “And you know what, she needs me, she really needs me, in past relationships it has always been me, the bird with the broken wing fallen to the ground, but with Liv, she’s this fragile dove, her wings snapped by the weight of abandonment, I’m there though, I’m there for her, mending her wings, and doing so eases my own troubles in a way.”

“You don’t worry that you may be more of a crutch for her then a partner?”

Ville got up off the bed and picked up a black cardigan off the floor, shrugging it on. “If that’s what she needs me to be right now, that’s who I’ll be, it’s as simple as that.”

“Well then veli(brother), should I welcome her to the family now or…?” Jesse teased, trying to lighten the mood.

Ville cracked a smile, a weight lifted off his shoulders. Having his brother know, having his acceptance and belief that Liv wasn’t just some passing women in his life like the others, was a great relief and affirmation. “A tad early for that” Ville joked, grabbing his wallet and key card, stuffing them into his pockets.

***

“Well well well, isn’t it Liv, so nice of you to return my call.” Mige exclaimed as Liv walked up to where he sat in the Lobby, reading a newspaper. He had on a his black leather jacket, dark gray Cathedral tee shirt and dark wash jeans with leather boots, his beard looking more grizzly than usual.

“Sorry! Something came up and I forgot, please accept my sincerest apologies” Liv joked as she plopped down next to Mige in the light blue sofa he sat in.

Mige brought his hand to his chin, feigning having to make a hard decision, before dramatically sighing, “I guess. You are forgiven.” He set the newspaper aside on the coffee table across the sofa, turning to face Liv who sat with her back up against the arm rest, legs crossed. A grin spread across his face.

Uh oh, Liv thought, I know that grin, I don’t like it, not one bit.

“Fun night?” He scratched his beard, the corners of his mouth twitching.

Butterflies began to flutter within Liv’s stomach, oh fuck. “Not really, after dinner with my father I went back to my hotel room and passed out.” Liv’s poker face was in full effect.

“Oh yeah? And then?” He raised a brow as his grin widened.

“and then I woke up this morning?” What’s he grinning about? All I did was sit down, I’ve barely said anything!

“Liar!” Mige laughed. He reached across and pulled down the scarf around Liv’s neck. “I see those condoms you bought at the airport came to good use.”

Liv sighed, pulling the scarf back up as he retracted his hand, splitting at the seams he was laughing so hard. “Why are you so nosey!”

“Hey now, I thought you would have figured it out by now, there is very little privacy when on tour. So who is the lucky lad, who do I need to have a stern talking to for touching my little sister? First name? Last name? I’ll find him, give him a piece of my mind” Mige teased, still laughing. “I’ll bring Linde and Gas along, they can be pretty intimidating, maybe even Ville if he puts enough black and eyeliner on.”

Liv rolled her eyes, smiling, she couldn’t help it, Mige just had that effect on her, despite the worry she felt about him finding out. “I slipped in the shower, uh, fell on, on”

“On a hard one!”

Liv’s mouth fell open as a deep crimson crept across her cheeks. “Do you want me to go? Cause I will.”

“But we just got here” Said Jesse as he took a seat on the coffee table next to Mige and Liv, Ville stood behind him, cigarette hanging from his lips.

“aha! Mige exclaimed, sticking his finger in the air, suddenly standing up, he went around Jesse, placing him in a playful choke hold. “It’s Jesse isn’t it! I’ve done it! I’ve solved the case of the mysterious hickey!”

Liv watched with amusement as Ville’s eyes widened, the cigarette almost falling from his lips.

Mige, keeping his arm locked around a laughing Jesse, continued “It all started back in Helsinki. I can see it now. You bump into Ville here and, oh what’s this! He is with a handsome young man! You lock eyes and the chemistry is instant. After your first introduction you’re in love, but oh no, touring picked up again, but lucky for you Jesse was able to pretend as if he flew over to visit with Ville, but in fact he came to see you my dear.”

Liv knew Mige was joking, but seeing Ville’s displeasure at even the notion of her being with his brother was far too amusing to pass up, she let Mige’s fanciful tale go on.

“He snuck into your hotel room late last night and defiled you!” Mige’s arm tightened around Jesse’s throat.

“You caught us!” Jesse laughed, throwing his arms up in surrender.

Ville rolled his eyes, causing the giggles to escape Liv’s lips. People in the lobby were giving them odd looks but Liv didn’t notice, tears welling in her eyes as she laughed harder at the absurdity of it all.

“How dare you touch a single hair on my little sister’s head!” Mige turned to Ville with his feigned disdain. “Keep your little brother away from her!”

“Mikko, just because there’s a mini bar in our rooms doesn’t mean you have to drink in the morning” Burton said, coming up behind Mige and placing a hand on his shoulder.

Mige let go of Jesse, tousling his hair as Jesse and Liv continued laughing.

Burton who was dressed in a jean jacket over a plain white beater, black jeans, looked from Liv to Jesse curiously.

Liv’s laughter began to recede. “Mige was just showing us how good of a Sherlock Holmes he could be.” She explained to Burton as he stole Mige’s seat next to Liv on the sofa.

“I tried” Mige said, exasperated, he sat down next to Jesse on the table. “Whoever it is though, they better treat you right”

“Whoever who is?” Jesse asked, leaning his elbows on his knees.

“Whoever Liv bought condoms for and gave her that rather large hickey on her neck” Mige smiled.

Burton and Ville snapped their necks to look at Liv simultaneously. Burton with a raised brow and Ville with guilt at being the cause of Liv’s current embarrassment. She blushed, bringing her knee’s up and hiding her face between them. “Can we stop talking about my personal life please” Liv mumbled, she could feel the heat on her cheeks. Ville’s going to have to be more careful next time. Next time… She bit her lip.

“What did you guys do to Liv?” came Gas’s familiar voice from nearby. Liv kept her face hidden, wanting her damn blush to go away.

“Ask Mige” Ville’s deep voice responded.

“Oh she’s fine, just embarrassed. Liv? Sorry, being on tour with all these men, I have a tendency to forget how to act around the ladies.” Mige said.

“Oh you never knew how to act around the ladies” Laughed Linde.

Liv sighed before bringing her head back up, adjusting the beanie on her head and tightening the scarf so it did a better job of covering the hickey. “Apology accepted.” She stood up, fiddling with her purse strap. “Alright, now that we’re all together, shall we go out for lunch?”

Everyone mumbled their agreement.

“I know a good place just around the corner from here” Linde said, leading the way out the front doors of the hotel.

They all began to file out, pulling their jackets or sweaters closer at the coolness of the day.

Liv and Ville were last out. Ville quickly laced his fingers with Liv’s, giving her hand a slight squeeze. Just his touch alone sent Liv’s heart aflame.

“Sorry about that” He whispered into Liv’s ear surreptitiously as she passed him out the door which he held open for her. “No hickey’s next time.”

Liv shook her head as she walked down the sidewalk after the rest of the guys who we ahead of them, deep in conversation with one another, though she noticed Jesse take a peek at her and Ville over his shoulder, grinning at Liv as she made eye contact. “Just not in any visible places” She whispered, a smirk on her face.

She turned to look at Ville who smiled back at her, his hair whipping around his face with the days breeze. “Oh the things you do to me darling”

***

“Does it still hurt?” Liv asked bringing a wet hand up and putting a strand of hair behind her ear.

She’d known that Ville would make his way over that night, if only for a little while, so she’d drawn a bath, having gone out and bought bubble bath and a few candles, much to Ville’s surprise.

The two sat, facing each other, steam rising up from the water, knee’s up, peeking out from the bubbles surrounding them, the dim glow of candles highlighting their features in the light of the bathrooms dull mirror light, their clothes in piles on the floor.

“Don’t you remember how yours felt love? I can imagine it must have been quite sensitive in such a spot.” Ville smiled, his hands grazing over the top of the bubbles, hair just managing to stay out of the water. Liv sighed internally, she wished she had her camera at hand, he looks so innocent, beautiful green eyes wide, hair a mess, silhouette cast against the walls, one tattooed arm resting on the edge of the tub, keeping the fresh tattoo out of the water.

“Honestly, I can’t remember, I was too drunk.” Liv shrugged, leaning her head against the wall, reaching out her hand to lace her fingers with Ville’s on the edge of the tub.

“You should have come with me and Jesse” Ville sighed, playing with Liv’s fingers.

“I wanted to give you guys time alone, bond over your tattoo’s. I’ll be here for a while, but he leaves in a couple of days, I didn’t want to impose on your time together.”

After going out for lunch everyone had split off to go do their own thing. Ville and Jesse had gone off to get their tattoo’s done. Linde and Gas had gone out to a more central part of Tulsa to do a little shopping, mainly buying little things to send back home to their families. Mige, Burton and Liv had spent most of their time in a large music shop Burton had been eager to visit. The place had sold various music merchandise, as well as CD’S and old Vinyl’s, and of course instruments. They had been thoroughly occupied for hours.

Ville straightened his back, leaning forward towards Liv. “You’ll never be an imposition, but thank you.”

“So” Liv bit her lip smiling, “Jesse knows then does he?” It had been very obvious throughout lunch, the way he intently listened to her every word, his eyes always on her when she spoke to Ville, his surreptitious ribbing.

“Ah he does” Ville said, giving an apologetic look, “Though he figured it out on his own. He says we’re ‘obvious’” He rolled his eyes. “I for one don’t think we are, I am a fabulous actor.” He dramatically tossed a strand of his hair over his shoulder.

Liv giggled. “Oh yeah, for sure, you should have won an Oscar for your work in that Metal Hammer fan pack video.”

“Oh fuck off” He joked “I have the makings of the next Hoff” He pulled her closer, hand still intertwined with hers.

Liv laughed, turning around and nestling up against Ville, her back pressed up against his stomach. “Are you going to make an appearance in the next SpongeBob movie?”

“I just might” He said, bringing his lips to her ear, wrapping his arms around her shoulder, taking care not to let his new tattoo touch anything.

An annoying ring filled the silence. Ville exhaled in annoyance.

“Answer it, it could be important” Liv said, reaching back and laying her hand on Ville’s cheek, feeling him rest his face in her palm before reaching over the edge of the tub and pulling out his cell phone from his jean pocket on the floor.

Liv felt Ville tense up behind her as he looked at the caller ID.

“It’s Sandra” He said hesitantly.

He can’t keep avoiding her, it’s not very nice, though she should have gotten the point by now, unless it was something important she has to tell him. “You should answer it” Liv sighed.

Ville hesitated before finally giving an annoyed grumble and answering the phone. Liv being still up against his chest could hear the other line.

“Hello?” Ville said, his hand absentmindedly twisting around a strand of Liv’s hair.

“Hi, Ville, I’ve been trying to reach you.” Sandra laughed. “But you’re usually pretty hard to get a hold of.”

Ville didn’t respond, creating an awkward silence over the line. Liv nudged him, he shouldn’t be rude, he clearly had something with this women before, even if it was just physical.

“Anyways I have a few modeling jobs around the US this month and was wondering if you’d like to meet? Catch up? Like old times?”

Liv bit her lip, she was reminiscing to when she’d first met Sandra, back when Ville had been fighting his feelings. She was so beautiful, tall, long hair, voluptuous body. The way she had smugly acted though, she might as well have marked her territory on Ville, Liv thought biting her lip harder.

Ville reached around with his free hand, resting his fingertips on Liv’s bottom lip, his silent way of telling her to stop worrying.

“Sandra I realize that things might have ended quite suddenly, and by no means did I plan on doing so, but what I said last we spoke, I meant. There is another women and I love her very much. You are young and beautiful, you can find someone else.”

“But what we had worked, we weren’t tied down, we fulfilled each other. It can still be that way. Keep this new woman if you’d like, but have me on the side.” She’s practically purring, Liv grumbled internally.

“No Sandra, this woman fulfills me in every way, I do not need anyone else, and I do not plan on cheating on her. I’m sorry.” He stroked Liv’s cheek.

“Fine then!” She snapped. “But when this doesn’t work out, and I know it won’t, all your relationships crumble, I’ll be here.” The line cut out.

Ville sighed, tossing his phone down onto his clothes. “My love, you do know you have absolutely nothing to worry about don’t you?” He said, shifting Liv’s hair over to one side, bringing his lips to her bare neck.

“I do, and I’m sorry for our fight the other night, I do jump to conclusions, my insecurities get the better of me. I trust you, completely. Will you stay the night?” She asked eagerly. Her heart picked up at the possible prospect of him spending another night, and what that could mean.

Ville let out a low chuckle against Liv’s collarbone, having tuned in to Liv’s thought process. “Unfortunately I can’t, but I can stay long enough to help you get what little sleep you can.”

“and how are you going to do that?”

“Put you to bed of course, then sneak off once you’re asleep, hoping you won’t realize when I’ve gone. The small amount of sleep I got last night can last me weeks, but you my love, need to rest.” He brought a hand around, holding Liv’s chin, turning her neck so he could kiss her, slowly leaning his face towards hers and gently letting his soft Liv’s press against hers.

Liv smiled against his tender kiss. “Will you sing me a lullaby?”

“Of course” Ville said, taking his hands away and beginning to tap a rhythm on the edge of the tub.

Liv gave him a quizzical look, not recognizing the tune at first.

“On candystripe legs the spiderman comes, softly through the shadow of the evening sun” Ville began to sing, his husky voice bringing to life Robert Smith’s lyrics.

Liv began to laugh. My favorite lullaby, she thought as Ville continued to sing The Cure’s, Lullaby. Could I love this man anymore?