Heartaches Knocking on Her Door

She had been up for a few minutes, a few minutes of complete self-loathing. What the hell did you do you idiot, Liv thought. She still held the note that Marcus had left her, explaining to her what had happened. How the concert had been cancelled and upon returning home he had found her slumped half on and off her bed, a few items on her nightstand knocked over. He figured she must have tried to get up at one point. The letter further explained that he would be back in the morning for her. Liv chuckled to herself because Marcus even chastised her in the letter for her stupidity. “sorry” she mouthed to the letter.

Her throat was sore and raw from the rubber tube which had been shoved down to pump her stomach. Liv felt nauseous and sick, her stomach painfully empty. Looking around her hospital room she finally realized the IV in her arm. She hated needles. Liv grumbled to herself as she reached to pull out the IV from her arm.

“You better not” came a deep accented voice from her doorway.

A tall middle aged man cautiously entered her room. Dark waves spilled out from the black beanie upon his head. He wore a crimson button up shirt, which was barely buttoned up, revealing the eyes of a woman’s face on his chest and a black rosary which dangled against his skin. His shirt sleeves were rolled up and Liv could see an intricate patterned tattoo on his left arm. They’re eyes met, his were large, dark green and brimmed with black eyeliner. She suddenly got the feeling she had seen this man before.

“You’re not a doctor” They were the only words she could think of. She hadn’t been expecting anyone but a doctor or nurse.

“Is it that obvious?” the man smirked as he came closer to her bed.

Should I be nervous that some strange guy is coming into my hospital room at night?, Liv mused.

The man seemed uncomfortable, as if he didn’t know why he was there himself. He awkwardly looked around the room and spotted Liv’s pajama’s strewn upon a chair. He picked up her Depeche Mode shirt, smiling he turned to Liv.

“You like Depeche Mode?”

“Love them. Um sorry, I don’t want to come off as rude or anything but, who are you?” Liv asked with a raised brow.

“Oh, my apologies. My name is Ville, Ville Valo” the man extended his hand.

“Pleased to meet you? My name’s Liv Manning”

She raised her hand to meet his, their skin colliding. His hand practically enveloped hers, his skin was rough, but his shake gentle. She retracted her hand feeling the chill of his silver rings as she realized who this man was.

“I’m sorry, did you say Ville Valo?” What, what is he doing here?, Liv thought, confused to the nth degree.

The man chuckled, “Yes, yes I did” He flashed her a warm smile.

What is he doing at the hospital, Liv thought, Marcus did say the concert was cancelled. Liv shuffled uncomfortably in her bed, trying to sit up, trying to see if Ville was hurt in some way. She noticed the blood on his sleeve.

“Are you alright?” she asked worried.

Ville looked back at Liv stunned. She could tell that that was not the reaction he was expecting. Stupid rock star, Liv thought, probably thought I was going to fan girl on him. Pssht.

“Oh, haha yes, I am well. So you must have heard about the concert cancellation? Were you at the show?”

“Oh, um no, I wanted to, but uh, I didn’t. My roommate Marcus went though.” Liv replied, as she tugged at the IV in the back of her hand.

Ville placed a hand over hers, shaking his head for her to stop.

“Look, I know this is kind of strange, and I apologize, but it’s just that, I saw you when you were rushed into the hospital, and well I guess I wanted to make sure you were alright. Again my apologies.” He avoided here gaze

Before Liv could respond a heavily accented voice called out Ville’s name from the hallway. Ville turned to look but didn’t see the source, he turned back to Liv.

“I should depart. If you are well enough tomorrow night you should come to the show. Feel free to bring your roommate. I don’t have any spare tickets on me but there is a back door to the venue, if you knock I’ll make sure there is someone there, tell them that, um, tell them ‘misty sausages’ and you can watch the show from backstage. ” He cracked a smile and turned for the door.

“Thank you” Liv didn’t know what else to say. She was still taken aback by the whole scene which had transpired. It was all very strange, was she under some narcotics or something? Could she even manage to go? Butterflies began to fly rampant in her empty stomach.

Ville paused at the door. “Don’t mention it darling. Leave the IV alone please, and sorry for all this, I think I still may be jetlagged, I don’t often do this. Alright well I’ll leave you to ‘enjoy the silence’” He winked before slipping out of sight.

Liv could hear him walking down the hall laughing to himself because of the Depeche Mode reference. She smiled to herself. She knew it would be a long night and complicated morning full of explanation but things seemed just a little better, better and unbelievable. Things like this didn’t just happen everyday.

Pushing the button to call a nurse for some water, she nestled into her hospital bed and prepared herself for the night.

***

She was nervous, extremely nervous. Liv hadn’t really been out and about in public for the past month, too many things out in the world to remind her of her mother. But she just couldn’t pass up tonight. What made the whole situation so much more terrifying though was that she would have to go alone.

“Marcus please! You know me! I can’t go alone! You’re my rock!” Liv begged

“You mean I’m the one that’s going to help you be less socially awkward in front of people you don’t know. And I told you already, as much as I love you, and would love to go and meet my idols, I promised Hanna to drive her back to campus from her parents’, also I have 2 exams tomorrow which I need to study for. Besides, you’re a big girl now, despite that episode the other night, and I have faith that you can sputter out enough words to not seem socially handicapped. You’re a fuckin adult Liv, act like one.”

Marcus sat at their kitchen table looking over a textbook, the whole table was littered with them. Liv knew he was just frustrated about the concert cancelation and his inability to go to the show that night, but his words still hurt. She was acting adult…

Marcus looked up to see Liv’s hurt expression. “Look, I’m sorry, but you know I’m right. You need to learn to do things on your own, especially since I’m moving next month. Of course I’ll call you every day, but come on Liv. Plus, unlike you, I didn’t drop out of University, so school needs to be a priority right now.”

He’s right, Liv thought. She had been going to the nearby University for photography. It was her passion, it was what she wanted to do with her life, but school had become too much in the past month, and so with no mother to chastise her, she dropped out. And since Marcus was moving out she was going to go stay with her practically estranged grandfather in Brooklyn until she found a new place. Her mother’s insurance policy had left Liv with a considerable amount of money, and her grandfather was in the process of helping Liv sell the family home to make more money for Liv. Everything was changing, and she hated it.

“I understand” Liv replied sadly. She went to her room to get ready for the show.

An hour later she made her grand appearance in the kitchen for Marcus. Much more cheerful after getting excited for the show she dramatically showed herself off.

“Very lovely” He chuckled as he took her in.

Liv had let her black hair air dry in its natural wavy state. A top layer of liner highlighted her eyes as a dark red covered her lips. She wore a dark grey Black Sabbath tee shirt which she had cut to be off the shoulder and black leggings with a pair of black studded combo boots to top it off. She gnawed her lip nervously.

“What” Marcus asked confused.

“Is it stupid that I’m not wearing HIM gear? I love them but I just don’t have any of their merch.”

Marcus laughed, “Well I offered to lend you my heartagram shirt but you refused, but no, it’s not, and fuck what other people think anyways. You look beautiful, I’m sure you’ll have the number s of ten roadies by the end of the night.”

Liv blushed. She didn’t really date much and had only had one long term relationship back in high school, but hey, maybe she should get back on the scene. Which on second thought, Liv decided was a bad idea, she was in no mental state to start any kind of relationship.

“Suure” Liv replied rolling her eyes. Liv grabbed her keys and purse, turning for the door.

“Wait! Don’t forget your camera.” Marcus got up to go bring it to Liv. It was one of those extremely expensive ones, a 20th birthday gift from her mother. “Take lots of pictures for me please. Tons of Ville. You know Liv, I still can’t believe you actually got personally invited to the show and get to go backstage, like shit, you are one luck chick.”

“Far from it” Liv replied, slinging her camera around her neck. She had a little less than an hour before the band would be performing, since Marcus needed to use his car that night, Liv figured if she walked fast enough she could at least catch the band before they went on.

Stepping out of her apartment building she was met with a cool night breeze. Grabbing a pack of cigarettes from her purse she stuck one between her lips, lighting it, instantly feeling calmer. Street lights illuminating the night, Liv made her way to the venue.