Loverboy

Oli’s P.O.V

About a month ago, I met someone very important in my life. He didn’t judge me, he didn’t laugh at my appearance, he didn’t abuse me, he treated me like a human being. This was the first time in years that I was able to be myself around someone without worrying. Ever since I met Josh, I’ve been so optimistic about my future. All the pessimism I used to have suddenly just disappeared from my mind. I enjoy waking up every morning knowing that he’s not going to leave me. I want him in my future, I love him.

But why do I feel so alone?

It’s nearing the end of October, exams for the first 9 weeks of school have ended, only two more days until fall break. I didn’t plan on going anywhere except back to my own hell hole of a home even though I was kicked out, that’s why they sent me here. Dad hated me and mum just couldn’t care less about myself. The only person who even liked me in my family was Tom, my baby brother. I’m not even sure if I should call him “baby” anymore since I get beaten up while he’s able to fight back. We’ve run into previous bullying back at my old school in year seven. I was always the one who was knocked out and Tom had to run in to save me. It made me feel weak and pathetic, not saved. He tried telling the principals that a group of kids once slammed me against the lockers in the boys locker room during gym but they didn’t believe. All we got was a letter to give to our parents that said the school does not tolerate lying. By that time, dad was infuriated with me and that’s when he started abusing me every night. I fought back only once and he placed me in this boarding school. The only time I even bother coming home is during school breaks. You can guess where I have to go for a week in two days.

I was lying down on my bed, reading Looking For Alaska at the moment. Josh had a private meeting with Alex and Jack about something. Funny I was never invited to their little gatherings so that made me feel left out. Whatever, it’s not like I would talk anyway. Reminds me that back in my old school we’d have seminars every second Friday of every month. Each homeroom would all get a topic to discuss about and our homeroom teachers we not allowed to speak, only the students. If a student didn’t speak, the teacher would call on them so they would. Of course every time I spoke, they’d tell me to be quiet and that no one cared. Did the teacher do anything? Nope, they just sat there and let them treat me like shit in front of them. Seminar was always a comedy for me, everyone would say “Oh, you’re opinion on this is stupid so shut up.” or “That’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard in my entire life.” sometimes we’d ever get on the topic of Doctor Who or Sherlock. Please tell me how they have anything to do with this poem about starving animals, please.

Josh eventually came through the door at around 22:52 and went straight to the bathroom to get himself ready for bed. Not even a simple “hello”? Well, alright. He was probably really tired and didn’t want to waste time by trying to strike up a conversation with me.

“Sorry, I didn’t know that you were awake.” he said once he was finished in the bathroom. How could you not see me in the first place? I had the lamp on and I was sitting up in my bed. “And I should probably start packing my things up for fall break. Mum’s getting me the second school ends and I don’t want to waste time.”

“Fall break doesn’t start for two days.” I said, placing a bookmark in and setting the book down on the nightstand.

“I like to get things done early,” he paused, getting his suitcase from the closet, “Besides, it take me forever to pack up for trips anyway.”

I rolled my eyes at his defense technique. “Whatever you say. I’m going to go get some water. You going to be up for a while? I’m not tired, I’m just wondering.” I said, slightly turning the doorknob.

“Yeah, I’ll be up for about an hour, perhaps.” he said. I nodded and headed down the hallway to the front office.

The hallways were so quiet and still. It’s not that late, honestly and I know a lot of students are normally up at this hour. My eyes were starting to get heavy as my feet kept moving down the steps and past dorms. Okay, as soon as I get back to my dorm, I’m going to bed.

Eventually, I made it to the dorm office and went to the water container and grabbed a styrofoam cup. Rain was beating down against the windows and thunder boomed across the sky. All of this made me a little tense since I was the only one in the dorm office at the moment. Not even the secretary was here, and she’s normally working to this hour. She probably went home since it’s raining and no students were expected to be outside. I was about the throw my cup away when two hands grabbed my shoulders and spun me around to see three kids in front of me. My legs became jelly, my mouth became dry, my hands started to shake, I wanted to run but I couldn’t.

“Bonjour, Sykes,” he said, “How are you on this fine night?” No, I’m not going through all this trouble again. Just don’t speak and everything will go well. “Ignoring me, are ya? Well, by now you should know how much I despise being ignored when I ask someone a question. Looks like all these years of teaching you a lesson hasn’t helped you grow some knowledge, has it?” and before I knew it, a hand flew across my face. The pain was awful, tears started forming in my eyes. “What’s the matter? Did I hurt Joshy’s little boyfriend? Well, he’s not here so it seems like he doesn’t care for you.”

“He’s not my boyfriend!” I spat out. Great, now that I spoke I’m in for one hell of a night. “Just leave me alone, please.”

“You want to do this the easy way or hard way? Easy is you talking, hard is you waking up in the water fountain tomorrow morning. Which do you want?” his grip on my shoulders grew tighter each second. I’m not speaking for him no matter what he wants, I’m not. “Okay, I see how it is. Matty, you watch the doors while Jesse, Oliver, and I play a little in the rain.” The ginger haired kid nodded and threw me out of the doors into the rain. My body landed on the concrete ground causing me to lose some of the air in my lungs. Kellin grabbed me by my hair and pulled me off the ground. “Want to play some games?” He let go of my hair and slapped my face again. Jesse kicked my back which of course, caused me to fall to the ground yet again. Kellin held my hands down as he got on top of my body. My heart was beating so rapidly by this point, I didn’t know what to do and it didn’t matter since I’m weak as hell. Perhaps I can direct a weak spot in his stomach? That’ll do for now at least. I kneed Kellin right in the center of his stomach, the pressure he had on my hands went away and I was able to push him off of me and get myself to my feet. Jesse was standing there with an appalled look on his face.

“Kellin!” he yelled out and ran over to help his friend back up. I was already gone running to god knows where. All I was more focused on was getting away from them so I can self loathe in peace.

I found a dark corner beside the lunchroom eventually and decided to sit there and just cry my eyes out. Everything on me was soaking wet by this point. My hair, my sweater, my shoes, my jeans, just everything. Not like I should care anyway since I’m not leaving this spot until morning. All these memories when I was younger started coming back into my head which caused me to cry even more. I held my knees up to my chest and wrapped my arms around them. It got to the point where I didn’t even know if I was crying the rain was coming down too fast.

Why should I worry? It’s not like anyone’s going to care anyway.

-switching to Josh’s-

Time flew by and it must have been about twenty minutes since Oli left. Does it really take you that long to go downstairs to the main office, grab a cup of water, and head back up? I was starting to get really worried for him by this point. Screw this, I’m going to go look for him.

Quietly, I walked down the hallway whispering Oli’s name every few seconds later. There’s only two levels of this building so it shouldn’t take that long to find him. I made my way down to the office and saw three students just sitting around on the benches. “Hello.” I kindly greeted, “I’m looking for a friend, have any of you happen to see him?”

“I’m pretty sure I saw a kid running outside not too long ago. It looked like he was heading towards the lunchroom.” the ginger said. “We hope you find your friend.”

“By the lunchroom?” I paused for a moment. Why would he be there? “Oh, uhm, thank you.” I said and headed outside. Didn’t take long for my entire body to basically be soaking wet due to the rain. I kept slipping every second as I ran over to the cafeteria building. But the doors were most likely locked, why would Oli head over there? He could’ve just stayed in the damn dorm building and I wouldn’t be taking a shower with my clothes on.

The two doors to the lunchroom came to the view in my eyes. I stopped running immediately and looked around. “Christ, it’s so dark.” Maybe the little twat will come if I call his name or something. “Oli!” I yelled out. Raindrops. That’s all I could hear. Standing’s not going to get me anywhere, may as well walk around the building.

I walked around the lunch building two times before I thought about giving up and heading back to my dorm. Then again, I didn’t really look, I just called his name and waited for a reply or footsteps coming near me. “Oli!” that was my last one for the night. My voice was weak, I was tired and I needed sleep. A small sniffle came from the left of my ear, I turned and saw a small figure hunched down up against the building. “Oli?” I walked over and bent down to get a closer look. “Love, what are you doing here? You’re supposed to be inside sleeping, not outside getting drenched.” No response. “Love?” I crouched down to his level. He lifted his head from his knees and I could see that he had been crying for a while now.

“It’s you who needs sleeping, not me.” his voice was raspy and I could see pain in his eyes. What exactly happened? “Just go back, I’ll return by mor-” a sudden sneeze came from him. I chuckled a little bit and moved his hair out of his face.

“We both know you highly need to rest yourself from whatever happened a few minutes ago. I’ll carry you up the stairs and into the bathroom where I’ll dry you off so you won’t go to bed with a wet body, alright?”

“No.” he denied.

“Why?” I questioned to him.

“I’m not worth it. Just go, Josh, stop wasting your time with me.”

“But I enjoy wasting my time with you. If I didn’t meet you, this school year would have sucked for me. I’m being 100% honest with you.” I said and rested my head on his knees. “I love you.”

Oli’s eyes seemed to shine after I said that. He put his legs on the ground and looked me dead in the eye. “You really mean that?” he said, nearly crying again.

“Of course I do,” I smiled and pulled him close to me for a hug.

After we pulled away, Oli leaned close to me and cupped my face. We looked at each other for a moment before he slowly leaned in and pressed our lips together.