Status: active


Chapter five

My stomach was going insane the moment our lips touched. I didn't know what to do except close my eyes and wait for the soft press. Not even the rain could ruin the moment for me. When we disconnected, Oli’s face went into a shock. His pupils grew wide, he started shaking, and his voice was stuttering each time he tried to speak. “I-I-I-”

“What?” I asked. I mean, I’m not mad or anything.

“G-Go, please. Leave me here and I’ll return...hopefully.” he said. “You’re getting drenched from the rain, Josh! Get inside.”

“Not without you. Come one, we’re going inside to our dorm room at the same time, alright?” I stated, standing up and holding out my hand. Oli sighed as he slowly stood up. “What happened anyway?”

“I’ll tell you when we get to our room.” he said and started walking to the building.

We made it inside with no one in there, not even the three kids I saw earlier. Why were they here anyway? It’s not like they were trying to help me find Oli. Well thanks to the rain, the floor is all drenched in water from us. Hopefully it’s going to be dry by morning. It seemed like it took forever but we finally made it to our dorm without getting caught by a teacher or something. I let Oli pick out the clothes he wanted to wear as I waited in the bathroom for him to arrive. He came in and sat down on the counter while grabbed a towel dried his hair off for him. “You don’t have to do this.” he said with an annoyed voice. Ignoring what he said, I cleaned off the small cut on his lower lip.

“How did you get the cut?” I asked, slowly lifting his sweater up. Instead of responding, he quickly pushed my hands away from him. “What?”

“I’d prefer if you didn’t do that.” his voice sounded either pissed off or annoyed. Perhaps a little bit of both.

“Look I’m just helping you since I literally found you in the rain crying and huddled up next to the lunchroom not even an hour ago. The least I can do is help you out.” he let out a sigh that told me he gave in. “Just take your sweater and shirt off so you can wear dry ones.”

“O-Okay,” his voice trailed as he looked down and slowly took his sweater off. What I expected to see was just his frail body and skinny arms, no, I saw cuts and bruises decorating his arms. My body was motionless, all I did was stand there and look at his arms without saying a word. “It’s disgusting, I know.”

I looked up with a surprised look on my face. “Disgusting? Your cuts are not disgusting in anyway, Oli! They’re proof you’re fighting.”

“The only proof they show is that I’m weak and pathetic.” My heart sunk the second those words came out of his mouth. Oli’s nowhere near weak or pathetic, I really wish I could show him that but it looks like he’s not cracking anytime soon.

“When is the last time you harmed yourself?” That may be the stupidest question I’ve ever asked someone. I sounded really nosy right now and I hate it. “Y-You don’t have to answer that, it’s too personal and-”

“A week.” his voice cut me off. Seven days? He’s been secretly cutting without going to me for help? “I do it when you’re not in the room. It sometimes gets a little bit hard for me not to run into the bathroom and decorate my arm.”

“I mean, I’m not mad or anything. But...why didn’t you ever tell me?”

“I thought you’d run off and tell people here.” he said.

“Why would I do that?” the only response I got from him was that he shrugged and avoided eye contact. Sighing, I grabbed a small towel and ran it under the water and rubbed it on Oli’s cuts. For every time I went back down on his arm, he’d flinch a little bit and sometimes make a very small kitten yelp. Guilt spread all over my body until I finished cleaning and drying off his body. I waited on my bed as he changed in the bathroom.

He slowly came out and set his clothes in the bin once he finished. “Promise you won’t tell anyone? Please?” Hopefully this didn’t happen at his old school or else I’d be pissed off. Nodding, I pulled him into a tight hug to tell him that his secret it safe with me. But why didn’t he go to the guidance office or something? They’d probably kick him out if they found out he had a weapon in the dorm building. “Well, I guess I’m going to go to bed now.” he tried breaking the silence as he turned around. I snatched his hand before he could even make another step forward. “What?”

“You’re not sleeping in that bed tonight.” a smile appeared on his face as so did a tint of red.

“Josh, I really appreciate your offer but,” he paused. “I-I-”

“Don’t have an answer.” I interrupted, “Come on, it won’t be bad.”


The smile came back on my face as I turned off the lamp on my nightstand and pulled Oli right next to me. His body felt so nice pressed against me. Honestly, I thought he was going to yell at me for forcing him to do something. Come to think of it, he’s hardly ever denied an action by me. The moment was just beyond perfect. It was everything I ever wanted in a relationship. No sex, just cute moments. All the other relationships I used to be in were bimbo girls who only dated me because I was hot-not for my personality or anything. Oi, I kind of was a tool back in London.

What sucked about this moment is that we aren’t dating.


Usual morning start by me waking up at 07:10 and heading out with Oli to the lunchroom for breakfast at around 08:00. Like always the skies were dark cloudy from the rain last night and the water fountain in the courtyard flooded so that made the morning even better. I was mostly looking for those three kids I saw last night. There’s no reason for me to talk to them other than *somewhat* thanking them for the small help from the night before. It was surprising just how calm they were with the fact that they saw Oli running outside in the rain. He still hasn’t told me why he was outside and the cut on his lip but oh well.

Study hall came in after English class. I literally had nothing to do other than sit at a desk and stare at a wall for thirty minutes straight. My classes before finished their lessons early so I was able to complete my homework before the bell rung. It was peaceful since not many people are in my study hall. A lot of them come in to finish projects and talk to the teacher about extra credit. Perhaps if you tried maybe you wouldn’t need extra credit? Whatever, it’s not like you even cared for your classes anyway.

French 3 was probably the scariest class of all. Our teacher, Mr. Aiden has a strict rule against English words in class. If someone says one English word, he takes off a point from their grade. I heard the school used to have three foreign languages but the German teacher retired so it was marked down between French or Spanish. Luckily Oli was in my class and we got to sit next to each other. “Bon, classe, devoirs!” our teacher spoke after the lesson was finished. He grabbed a blue marker and wrote on the board Pg. 45-47 toutes les questions. Great, this French book had a ton of problems on each page so that’ll be fun to do! At least I’m good at this language so I should be done in twenty-five minutes or so. “J'ai presque oublié. Test à venir le 10 Novembre, commencer à étudier dès que possible!” The entire class groaned in response to Mr. Aiden. His French tests are the absolute worst. They’re normally around 85 questions and never multiple choice. I got out my planner from the basket under my chair and wrote down the test date. Tests are basically hand written punishments in my opinion.


It was the last day of school before fall break. I was in technical theater, putting away some of the papers after we finished light check for the day. The people in my class were pretty awesome, too. They always had a way of making the lesson fun for the day. Since we finished early, we had twenty minutes of free time left so we sat down where the controls were and talked about what we were going to do over fall break.

Jack and Alex and some of their other friends were going down to Cambridge all break. Danny was meeting up with his old friend James after school, Ben was tagging along. And I was going back to London for the break so I guess I was excited for the day to end. Everyone else were going to different cities. Everyone; except Oli. He told me that he’d be staying at his parent’s house for the entire break. I wish I could bring him with us but that’d be last minute plans and I honestly did hate those. The bell rang at last and everyone in technical theater hurried out of the auditorium. The entire school, including the dorm building, was flooded with students trying to leave. I stopped by my locker to put away my books and headed to my dorm room to grab my suitcase for the trip.

I opened to door, expecting it to be empty, but Oli was sitting in the window sill. “Oli?” he quickly turned his body to me. “What are you doing here? Fall break started, I would’ve expected you to be in the courtyard by now.” I said, grabbing my suitcase from beside my bed and walking next to him.

“Doesn’t matter if it’s fall break or not. I don’t want it to happen. All I want it is to end as soon as possible.”

“Why’s that?”

“Because..” his voice trailed off. “I don’t want to be away from you.”

Did he really have feelings for me? As in, relationship feelings? “You know,” I smiled, “I kind of started liking you a little bit. You’re really cute and fun to be around with. When you kissed me, I wasn’t able to think straight for a while. All I wanted to do was hold you close against me instead of going to school. I really do love you, Oliver.”

He didn’t say anything. We had a silent moment that seemed to last forever. What was he going to say? Oh, I don’t feel for you that way, sorry. But then why would he kiss me? That wouldn’t make any sense in my world. A deep sigh came from Oli’s mouth to break the silence. Dammit, I pissed him off, didn’t I? Now he hates me and he doesn’t want to talk to me ever again. Time to find a new flatmate, Josh. “I like you, too.” he said. “Hell, I liked you before I even kissed you. Would you-would you like to be my boyfriend?”

I could feel my face start to get red. My heart was racing and my stomach was churning as he waited for my answer. “Yes, I would love to.” I said and kissed him.
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goodnight, lovelies. uwu ♥