She's Not Afraid

“Thanks god you’re stealing my boyfriend for the day. I’m bloody sick of him,” Perrie said throwing herself on my bad. We were in Newcastle, we would behere for the next three days. We had a show tomorrow night and the next, then we were off Glasgow. But for the next few days I was bunking with Jade in the hotel, which I loved, she was the cleanest!

Today, since we had the whole day to ourselves, I thought it was the best day to start the “Day In The Life” series. Who better to start with then my favorite lad who I was already more than comfortable with?

I finished getting dressed before I turned my attention to the blonde who’s made herself comfortable on my bed, “I’m sure you’re so sick of him Pez. You two are attached at the lips 24/7.”

“She’s right, it’s a bit gross yeah?” Jade piped up from her bed where she was messing about on her laptop.

Perrie scoffed sitting up, “We are not!” Jade and I shot her a look, “Okay, maybe. But that’s why I’m glad you’re stealing him away Jaz. Have fun with him yeah?”

I chuckled, “I’ll do my best. I’ll see you ladies later.”

When I knocked on the hotel room door to get Zayn, I wasn’t expecting Liam to answer it. Well, I wasn’t really surprised, but I was surprised about what the fact that Liam was shirtless… and wet. Very wet, like he’d literally stepped out of the shower and threw on a pair of shorts.

Oh god, he looked good. He was like perfectly sculpted! Like toned, but not like those overly juiced guys they show on American tellie shows. But he totally had a perfect amount of muscle and a V at his hips an- HOLY SHIT HE HAS A HAPPY TRAIL! Oh my god had he always been this attractive? How have I never noticed? Well, I’ve noticed, but this is a whole other level right now!

I must have been staring (hopefully not drooling, that’d be so bad), well I know I was staring, but maybe it was a bit longer than I intended because he was smirking at me now with one eyebrow raised. I shook my head to try and clear my thoughts, “Uh, um, is Zayn ready?”

He nodded and stepped out of my way to let me in the room, “Yeah, he’s just in the bathroom, probably fixing his hair.”

“Shut up,” the boy in question said stepping out of the bathroom- his hair perfectly styled. “You ready to go love?”

I nodded, “Yeah, let’s do this!”

“Where are you going?” Liam asked looking anxious between us.

I shrugged, “To film Zayn’s ‘Day In The Life.’”

“Oh,” Liam nodded. He looked relieved. Why would he look relieved? Why was I even questioning myself on this? AND WHY DID HE LOOK SO GOOD SHIRTLESS AND WET?!
“So, we going then Jaz?”

“What?” Zayn was smirking at me, “Oh, yeah, let’s go.”

I started following Zayn out the door when Liam swooped in next to me and kissed my cheek, “Have fun love. See you lot later yeah?”

“Oh… yeah. Later.” What the fuck was wrong with me? Why did he make me so flustered? Must be the wet shirtless thing. I mean, it’d happen to anyone.

*****

We had been in this book store for over an hour. Not that I minded I was in need of something to read while we were stuck on a bus for hours on end.

I had recorded Zayn going through different aisles and reading the back of a variety of books but now we were at opposite sides of the store doing our own thing. The store wasn’t that crowded, which was awesome. We hadn’t been stopped by anyone, yet, either.

I had a good massive stack of books at this point I was ready to buy so I headed over to find Zayn. “Anything good?”

He looked up at me and shrugged. Then he saw the stack of books in my hand, “I take it you did though?”

“If we’re in here any longer I may be tempted to buy more.” I had about 7 books in my hand, and that was after I’d set down 4 others.

“Well I think I’m about ready, yeah.”

I set my books at my feet and pulled out my flip cam, “Let’s film something.” I backed up a bit, “I’ll just do a little intro and then I’ll turn it to you. Tell me what you’re getting and why, that kind of thing.” I turned the camera on and turned it on myself, “So we’ve been in this bookstore for about an hour and a half now, so let’s see what Zayn’s got.”

I turned the camera on him and his signature smirk was plastered on his face. He had 4 books, and held them up giving a small description of what they were and why he was getting them. “That good?” He asked at the end.

I turned the camera off and placed it back in my bag. Zayn stacked his books on top of my stack and grabbed them all heading towards the register. “Um, excuse you, what are you doing?”

“Buying books,” he shot over his shoulder, “What’s it look like?”

“It looks like you’re trying to snake my books there mate.”

He laughed sarcastically, “Not exactly. This is my day in the life. So I’m paying for everything.”

“What? No, that’s not part of the deal!” I argued as we got in line. There was only one other person in front of us.

He shrugged, “It is now. Now shut up and let me be a gentleman and pay for your romance novels.”

“Hey!” I challenged, “They’re not romance novels!”

He held up one of them, “I’m sorry, is this not The Notebook?”

I felt my face redden at the book cover staring back at me. It was the movie cover version so I was staring at a hot Ryan Gosling about to kiss What’s-Her-Face. I’ll admit I was getting it just because Liam made such a big deal out of the fact that I had never seen it. I didn’t plan on buying it, but I walked by them on the shelf and before I even gave it a second thought I was grabbing a copy. “Okay, so there’s one.”

Zayn smirked again, “Well whatever, I’m paying, end of story.” Then he was walking up to the counter and stopping the massive stack in front of the clerk.

“Fine,” I huffed. I reached into my bag and took out my camera to snap some candid pictures of him paying and picking up the bags.

As we were leaving, we were stopped by a few fans. I stepped back and captured as much as I could of it on video and pictures. There were only 5 girls so it didn’t take long.

“So, now where are we headed?” I asked as he walked up to me after parting ways with his fans.

He shrugged, “I was thinking food.”

“Lead the way!”

*****

Zayn took us to this gourmet sandwich shop. They let us get a booth in the back so we could eat in peace in case fans found us out. “This is my favorite place to eat when we come through here,” he said once we were seated. “You can literally put anything on a sandwich.”

I picked up the menu looking it over, “Yeah I can tell! You can have a taco sandwich?” I pulled out my camera and took a picture of the menu.

“Well I don’t know if all of them are good ideas,” he chuckled looking at his own menu.

In the end, I ordered a pretty normal sandwich; turkey, cheese, tomato’s and lettuce, with a side of chips. Zayn ordered a big all meat hot sandwich. It looked massive, I didn’t know how he’d finish that let alone the chips he’d ordered with it. I snapped a few pictures of him eating. A few shots he totally played into it, which was awesome. I could already picture all the fan edits to come of these shots.

“So are you enjoying tour?” He asked me between bites.

“Yeah, it’s a lot of fun. You lot are the best group.”

“Are you ever gonna come out to a club with us?”

I smiled, “I don’t know, maybe eventually.”

He rolled his eyes, shaking his head at me. “So what’s up with you and Liam?” he gave me a curious glance.
Here’s the thing with Zayn and I; We were pretty close, I mean I spend almost as much time with him as I did with Perrie when both bands were home. Especially after they moved in together last year. I don’t know when it happened, but he’d started acting like that overly protective big brother towards me even though I was a good year older than him. Actually the same went for the girls too, and I didn’t know why. You know, since I was the only one to finish Uni, and had my life together. Not that they all didn’t, but being a popstar isn’t the same as being a normal person with a somewhat normal job (I wasn’t counting my current job at them moment). “Nothing?” I finally answered, “We’re just friends.”

“Since when do friends look at each other like you looked at Liam this morning?”

I blushed at his comment, “Well, I mean he was kind of wet. And shirtless! I’m only human Zayn!”

He smirked, “He is pretty attractive yeah? And he’s single…”

“Don’t start,” I warned with a glare. He was always getting on my case about how I should consider getting a real relationship. How I shouldn’t let guys use me, even though I was using them just as much as they used me, if not more.

And for some reason it was like they were all gunning to get Liam and I together. It was a bit annoying.

“What? I’m just trying to figure you out.”

“There’s nothing to figure out,” I shrugged. “We’re friends. I like hanging out with him, talking and watching movies. It’s easy and I like that.”

“And you’re attracted to him,” he pressed. It was more of a statement than a question.

I shrugged, picking at my chips, “Yeah he’s attractive. But so is Harry and Niall but I don’t see you all asking me about them.”

“Because you don’t have that obvious connection that we see you have with Liam.”

I scoffed, “Harry and I flirt all the time.”

“Harry flirts with everyone,” he shot, “And I don’t see you going to his hotel room late at night to watch movies.”

“It’s because he’s never invited me,” I shrugged.

“So you would if he asked?”

“Yeah why not?”

He scoffed at me, “I don’t see why you’re so insistent to deny your feelings for Liam.”

“Because I don’t have feelings for Liam. We’re friends.” I took a moment to chew some of my sandwich, “Besides, I don’t-”

“’Do relationships,’ I know Jaz. But why not? Why are you so against them?”

“I’m not against them I just don’t think they’re for me.”

He eyed me for a long moment, “So you don’t want to fall in love?”

I shook my head, “No I do. Someday. I mean, I see what you and Perrie have and a part of me is so envious of it. I do want that someday, but when I think of it right now I get all overwhelmed and I’m just… I’m not ready for that. I’d rather just have a good time.”

“Sex with random guys,” he stated.

I threw a chip at him, “They aren’t random. I know them pretty well before we get to the sex part. They’re just no strings to it, no attachment.”

“And would you want that with Liam?” Shirtless Liam from this morning popped into my head when he asked that. The muscles at the pit of my stomach tightened at the thought of even touching Liam, let alone more. “Never mind, don’t answer that, I already know that answer by that look on your face. You want Liam bad,” he smirked.

“No I don’t,” I denied. I kind of did, the thought of rolling around with Liam on a bed was very enticing. But I wasn’t about to admit that to him, “We’re just friends.”

“Mhm,” he hummed going back to his food.

“You’re nauseating.”

He chuckled, “You’re just mad I can read your mind.”

“Nope. You’re wrong.”

He shrugged, “Whatever.”

“You know the point of dating is to find the person you’re going to spend the rest of your life with right?” h pressed on. “You’re supposed to do that when you’re young not when you’re 30.”

I rolled my eyes, “I never said I was waiting until I was 30, I just don’t want it now. Can we change the subject now? Please?”

He huffed, “Fine. Where do you wanna go next?”

*****

After we ate we were on our way to basically nowhere. We ducked into a few shops here and there and I had him stop at a few places so we could take a few more videos. The rest of the day was just easy, like effortless and carefree. We weren’t even bombarded by many fans. Something that, Zayn told me, wouldn’t be the case once we hit America.

We found this awesome fountain at a park that I had him sit at while I asked him random questions. “This is so cool,” he said at one point as I filmed him.

“What is?”

He shrugged, looking around the park, “its awesome being interviewed by a friend. I almost forget I’m being filmed and that I should watch what I say you know?”

I chuckled, “Well you can be there when I edit if you want me to take anything out.”

Zayn shrugged again, “It’s alright, I trust you.”

“Well thank you. Let’s get a few more shots in and then we can be done.” The sun was going down and we were losing light fast. “You wanna get up on the edge of the fountain and I’ll take some pictures.”

“Sure,” he nodded, “How do you wanna do this?”

“Just be yourself.”

*****

Once we got back to the hotel, most the doors on our floor (it’s so weird that we get our own floor at hotels fo us and the crew) were open. We ducked into Louis and Harry’s room where everyone was except Jesy and Jade.

“Hey, how was the day?” Niall asked as we walked in.

“Awesome, we got to get away from you lot so what more could I ask for?” Zayn shot.

I smacked his arm and rolled my eyes, “Wow, that’s all you have to say?”

He pulled me into a side hug, “Well spending the day with you was fun too.”

“That’s better,” I laughed. I walked away from him and sat on one of the beds next to Leigh and Liam.

“So what you guys do?” Liam asked.

I shrugged, “We shopped around a bit, got lunch.”

“She made me model by a fountain. I’m high fashion now lads,” Zayn said from Perrie’s side.

I scoffed, “I didn’t make you model.”

“I can’t wait for you to make me look good! Although it’s an effortless talent really,” Louis said.

“I can’t tell if you’re complimenting me or yourself.”

He shrugged, “Both.”

“So we’re going to a club tonight,” Harry threw in.

“And we’re all going,” Perrie said shooting me a look.

I sighed, “But I don’t want too.”

“Oh shut it, come on it’ll be fun!” Leigh said bumping my shoulder.

“Plus,” Zayn said, “You’re supposed to follow me around for a whole day, and technically, my day isn’t over until midnight. So you have to go.”

I glared at everyone in the room, “You’re not going to take no for an answer are you?”

“Nope,” they all said at the same time.

I sighed standing up, “Fine. When are we leaving?”

“Around 10,” Niall said.

Liam smiled at me and I tried to ignore the pull in my stomach, “So you have a few hours to get ready.”

“Fine,” I deadpanned, “I’m gonna go find my cousin now.”

“She’s with Jade in your room,” Perrie called after me.

*****

I still wasn’t too excited about going to the club. Clubs were my thing. I didn’t dance like they did at clubs, I didn’t dress like you did at clubs, it just didn’t sound like a good time really. But I was promised free alcohol so I’d be making the most of it.

I kept my outfit for the night pretty simple; black skirt, [url= http://i41.tinypic.com/564u9.jpg ]black and yellow wedge heels and a batman crop top.[/url]

When we got down to get in the cars Louis announced that he wanted an ‘all boys SUV.’ “So we can get pumped to party tonight!” he explained. We had no problem with that. The girls and I climbed into our own SUV and had the music turned up real loud and sang along getting excited for the night.

We all went straight into the club once we arrived. There were a few paps out front waiting for us so we all didn’t even bother looking up once we got out of the cars. The club was massive. There were people crowded in on the dance floor and the DJ was playing some pretty good music. We were used upstairs where the VIP section one.

The VIP section was amazing. There were plush booths lining the wall, and we had our own bar and our own dance floor, which was also just as packed.

We claimed a booth and ordered a round of shots right off the bat. “No Liam, you have to have at least one shot!” Louis insisted when Liam tried to decline his. He caved and grabbed the shot glass.

“To a good night!” Harry said raising his glass.

“To a good night,” we all followed and downed out shots.

The alcohol didn’t stop there. Niall, Harry and Louis were going hard with the liquor, taking shots while drinking pints. I saw Liam with a beer, but I didn’t see if he was drinking any more than that. Zayn stuck to mainly beer as he let Perrie drag him on the dance floor. He didn’t really dance, but let her dance against him. They were cute and I hate that part of me was jealous of what they had.

Jesy, Leigh and Jade were drinking shots and mixed drinks while I was content taking my time with the mixed drinks. We’d only been here 2 hours and I was still only on my second drink.

I was walking around talking with the boys and stuff here and there while the girls were on the dance floor. There were a few guys who had tried buying me drinks or asked me to dance, but I declined all of them.

“Why aren’t you dancing?” Louis demanded. All the boys, minus Zayn who was somewhere with Pez, were huddled by the booth when I walked up.

“Why aren’t you?” I shot back.

He scoffed, “Because I don’t have a body like that!” he said gesturing to me up and down.

I blushed and looked away sipping my drink, “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Oh yes you do!” Harry exclaimed. “Look,” he nodded to somewhere behind me,” That guy has been staring at you since you walked over, go ask him to dance.”

“Have some fun,” Niall added.

“I am having fun!” I shot back. I turned and caught the eye of a guy by the bar. He was cute, in that frat boy kind of way. He had shaggy brown hair that hung in his eyes, and was wearing a white polo over black jeans. He smirked at me when he caught my eye, which caused me to blush and turn away.

“But you could be having more fun with that bloke, if you know what I mean,” Louis said wiggling his eyebrows. I rolled my eyes.

“Maybe she doesn’t want to dance with him,” Liam interjected eyeing the guy behind me. He was almost glaring at the guy. “He looks a bit sketch.”

The three other guys scoffed, “He would say that,” Harry said under his breath and Niall and Louis laughed.

“Anyways,” I said, “I don’t dance.”

“What?” The all said looking at me weird.

I shrugged, “I don’t dance. At least not like this lot,” I said gesturing to the dance floor.

“Have you ever tried?” Harry asked raising an eyebrow.

“Yes. I just feel awkward.”

“Then you just didn’t have the right partner,” Louis threw in. “Liam, show the girl how to dance.”

Liam looked surprised at his friends demand, “Um-”

“Its fine,” I cut in, “you don’t have to. Really.”

“Nonsense, he wants too,” Harry said.

Niall nodded, “Yeah, right Liam?”

Liam glared at the smirking boys in front of us, then looked at me nervously. “Well, do you wanna dance?”

I shook my head, “No, it’s fine.” Honestly, the idea of dancing with Liam was enticing but he didn’t seem to want to dance with me. “I’m gonna go get another drink,” I announced and walked away from the group as fast as possible.

I leaned against the bar and took a deep breath. That was so awkward, and part of me was almost bothered that Liam didn’t want to dance with me, and I was also irritated at the lads for trying to push him into it.

“Hey,” someone said from beside me.

I looked up and it was the guy Harry had pointed out that was looking at me. I’d completely forgotten about him in the past few minutes. “Hi,” I smiled even though I didn’t really want to talk to him.

“I’m Finn.” He held out his hand.

I shook it, “I’m Jazmin.”

“Can I get you a drink?”

I smiled again, “Thanks, but no thank you. I think I’m done drinking for the night.” I was trying to be polite and not come off rude.

He stepped back a bit looking around, “You have a boyfriend or…”

“No,” I shook my head, “I just don’t need another drink.”

“Well that guy’s been glaring at me since before you came over to the bar.”

I followed his gaze and saw Liam looking over at us with a sour look on his face. I turned back to Finn, “he’s just a friend. Bit over protective I think.”

“Hmm,” he hummed. “Well it was nice meeting you Jazmin,” and then we walked off. Okaaaay…
“Dance with me,” I heard from behind me.

I turned and there was Liam with a determined look on his face, “What?”

“Dance with me.”

I glanced behind him but the lads weren’t there. I looked back up at him, “I thought-”

“I was just annoyed they were pushing it. But I do want to dance with you. If you want,” he looked nervous.

“Alright,” I said. There were butterflies in my stomach that I really wanted to go away. “But I’m shit at dancing.”

He smiled and held out his hand, “I can help you.” I nodded at that and took his hand. He turned and led me out through the crowd on the dance floor. He dragged us almost to the middle of the crowd as ‘Do You Fee’ by JLS started playing.

When he stopped and turned to me is when I got nervous. Not because it was Liam, but because I didn’t want to make a fool of myself. I looked around awkwardly and I found Perrie dancing against Zayn as he curled into her a few feet away. They were like one being as the danced, in their own little world. I saw Jesy not for off grinding against some bloke, and even she made it look so effortless.

“You okay?” Liam said in my ear. He was so close to me. I nodded not looking him in the eye. “Here,” he said before his hands found their way on my hips. He pulled me against him, “Move from your hips, but don’t ever think it, yeah?”

I nodded still looking straight at his chest. I felt so awkward that I didn’t even want to look up at his face. He started to me my hips with his hands and with his own hips. Why was I feeling so nervous about this? This is why I don’t go to clubs. To try and cut the tension, I moved my hands up his chest (which felt really good under his shirt by the way) and wrapped my arms around his neck.

I started to feel less nervous and awkward as we danced to the song. I think it helped because I loved this JLS song, and the fact that Liam was being so gentle about it. But dancing this close to him, it felt really intimate which still kept me on edge a bit. His hands were on my hips; his fingers brushing against my bare skin where my shirt was tied up. We were chest to chest, pelvis to pelvis. I mean, we weren’t exactly grinding like everyone around us, but we were still moving against each other. I could also feel his breath on my ear and neck where his head was bent down closer to mine.

He pulled me closer against him a bit, rolling his hips. There was a pull at the bottom of my stomach again. God I wanted him. I blamed the girls and Zayn for these thoughts. If they hadn’t kept trying to push Liam on me, I’d probably have no issues or awkward feelings right now.

The song changed and blended into the next one. A dance mix of ‘2 Become 1’ by the Spice girls started. We continued to dance like nothing changed. One of his arms left my hip and moved slowly up my back as the other wrapped around my waist more.

I took a deep breath before I looked up slowly. He was right there. His face was so close to mine. His lips were so close to mine! And he was looking down at me with this somewhat serious look, I couldn’t really tell what his was thinking.

But I knew what I was thinking. I was thinking I wanted to kiss him. It would be so easy to just reach up a bit and our lips would be touching. He leaned down and his forehead hit mine. His lips were even closer. He hadn’t broken eye contact once.

He licked his lips, “Jazmin-”

Then someone bumped into us and the moment was broken. We pulled our faces apart and I looked around, remembering we were in the middle of a club and our friends were somewhere nearby. I pulled my hands from around his neck and just rested them on his chest, giving us some space between us. His arms went back to the sides of my hips. His eyes were darting around and he looked nervous.

I was feeling a bit nervous again too, “Do you wanna get a drink?” I tried to say over the music.

He turned his attention back to mine, “What?”

I reached up on my tip toes to reach his ear, “Do you wanna get a drink?”

He nodded as we pulled away and let go of my waist. I was a bit disappointed his hands weren’t on me anymore. But then I felt his hand in mine, his finger lacing with mine. We made our way out of the crowd. When we got back to the booth all our mates where there.

“I told you I saw them out there!” Leigh-Anne said when she saw us walk up. Liam let my hand go as we got to the group.

“Good job getting her to dance Li,” Jesy said, “I’m always trying to get her to dance with me,” she said sending me a glare.

I rolled my eyes turning away from her and caught Zayn’s stare. He was looking at me with a smug smile on his face. I shook my head at him, because he had no idea. None of them did, they were just making us feel awkward.

“Let’s get a few more drinks before we head out,” Niall said.

Harry nodded, “You read my mind mate!”