Fifty Shades of Joli

Alex and Jack led the way, each with girls on their arms, and Josh followed behind, his only dates being Matty B and Max, who were already moderately pissed. Jack had obviously borrowed Rian's girlfriend Cassadee for the occasion, since Alex had brought his current girlfriend.

The queue went around the block, packed with fans of all ages, and Josh rolled his eyes, wondering how exactly the underage girls were planning on blagging their way into the event. A few screams followed Josh and the guys as they passed the queue, and Josh gave a quick wave but didn't stop. Max and Matty B joined in with the screams, Max waving his cigarette in the air, his other arm around Matt's shoulders.

Josh had decided not to dress too smart, going with a red and black shirt and black skinnies, and Max and Matt had made barely any more effort than usual, claiming they could 'get shags with their charisma and charm'.

When the store appeared around the corner, they followed Jack and Alex straight to the entrance. The shop was already packed when they squeezed inside, and Josh joined Max and Matty B in craning his neck for the drinks table. Alex and Jack disappeared somewhere in the swarm, leaving the You Me At Six boys to find their own way. That was fine, though; it seemed Max had a knack for sniffing out alcohol.

"East!" he cried, pointing to their left and dragging Matty B after him, leaving Josh to make his way after them.

Sure enough, there was a long makeshift bar on the left side of the room, tended by Oli's brother Tom. Max and Matt drunkenly shouted their orders as soon as they reached the bar, and Josh shot Tom an apologetic look.

The shop was pretty small, with a polished wooden floor and a neon front desk. Clothes lined two opposite walls, and hats, jewellery and leaflets sat on sophisticated glass shelves. The wall on the right was decorated in cartoons. Josh had to admit it was pretty cool.

"Where are the bitches at?" Matty B demanded, seizing his drink and taking a large swig.

"Shut it," grumbled Josh, pushing him out of the way so he could order.

"All right, Josh?" said Tom with a nod as Matty flew sideways, and Josh smiled.

"I think I need better dates," he admitted, nodding towards his bumbling bandmates. "Get me a beer, would you?"

Tom reached under the table, where coolers had been squeezed, and produced a drink for Josh. Josh accepted his drink and dragged his boys away from the 'bar', looking around for anyone they knew. He spotted Jona looming over the crowd, greeting fans, and Pickles trying to teach people some weird dance across the room.

As his eyes scanned the room, he spotted a cluster of women wearing very little, and he couldn't help thinking Max could be right. It had been over three months since he'd broken up with his last girlfriend, and he hadn't yet had the time to even think about moving on with some rebound girl. Although one night stands weren't usually his style. But before he could talk himself out of it, he felt Max's weight on his shoulder.

"Bitches!" he announced, pointing at the girls Josh had spotted only seconds ago.

"We're going in," said Matt conspiringly, rubbing his hands together.

"For the kill," Max agreed, pushing Josh in their direction. "Come, Joshie."

"In any sense you deem necessary," said Matt with a wink, and Josh scowled.

"Don't call me Joshie," he snapped.

"Shh," said Max, lifting Josh's beer hand to Josh's lips. "Drink."

Josh did as he was told, figuring a drink would probably loosen him up a little. He downed the drink, tempted to go back for another one, but he was being steered in the direction of the so-called bitches. Looking at them, he admitted they weren't his type, but maybe that was his problem. He wasn't exactly courting at that moment. But it wasn't helping that Max and Matt were making up a song about sluts on the spot.

"Bitches, bitches, bitches," sang Max in Josh's ear.

"Getting all the bitches," Matt joined in. "Matt gets the bitches, Max gets the bitches."

"Josh gets the bitches," Max concluded, giving Josh one last shove.

Josh hurtled forward and stumbled, bowling over one of the sluts as he went. They both tumbled to the ground, Josh landing, unfortunately, on top of her. He opened his mouth to speak, but words betrayed him. Instead he stammered some sort of things that might've been words back in the caveman days, heat rising to his face.

She would've been pretty if her face wasn't lathered in makeup. Her breasts were practically spilling out of the shirt she wore, and Josh was pretty sure his hands were all over her. But she didn't seem to mind. She giggled as he tried to summon an apology.

"You know," she said, "when people say 'hit on' they don't mean it in the literal sense."

"I-I, um," said Josh lamely. He clearead his throat. "I was just aiming to knock you off your feet."

"Well, I suppose you succeeded," she replied with a hungry smile.

"Yeah," he agreed, and he bit back his apology. "Um, should we get up?"

"I don't know," she smirked, "I kind of like having you on top of me."

A smile grew on Josh's face, and he felt his confidence return to him. Or maybe that was just the beer. But suddenly hands snaked around his torso and he was being heaved to his feet, the wind knocked out of him as the arms tightened around his stomach. He whirled around, scowling, to see who his 'saviour' was.

"Don't worry Joshie," Oli beamed, "I got you!"

"What are you doing?" Josh growled, slapping Oli's hands off him.

"Helping," said Oli with a smirk. "Why even were you on the floor?"

"I was, um, y'know, about to stand."

"Weird," laughed Oli. "Want me to lie on the floor with you next time?"

"No!" barked Josh, helping the slut to her feet. "Go away."

"I know," said Oli with a click of the fingers, "I'll get you some cake! BRB!"

"We should move away from this general area," Josh muttered to the girl, who chuckled. "Drinks?"

She nodded and slid her hand into his, letting him lead her back to the bar. His hand was clammy, and he hoped she didn't notice. Either way she didn't seem to care. They weaved through the crowd and back to the table, where Tom was waiting with a smirk saved just for Josh. Josh groaned. He just couldn't get a break.

"Found a bitch, then?" Tom presumed, and Josh frowned.

"Just get me some drinks," he growled.

He turned back to the girl and smiled sheepishly, relieved that the whole situation seemed to be amusing her. He only then realised he was still holding her hand, and he let go, embarrassed. Tom served them their drinks and they made for a corner the furthest away from Oli as they could find.

Josh knocked his drink back as fast as he could, abandoning the bottle on the floor. His heart was pounding. He had no idea what to say to this girl or what to do to get her to sleep with him. She seemed willing enough already, but was she expecting him to take charge?

"So, erm, what brings you here this evening?" he asked lamely, concentrating on not crossing his arms or fidgeting.

"An invite," she replied dryly, offering him a smirk.

He didn't know how to reply to that. What sort of stupid question was that, anyway? He looked around for Max and Matt, but he couldn't see them. They'd probably already dragged some so-called bitches to a club or something. Maybe he should suggest the same thing, and quick before Oli got back with the bloody cake.

"Hey," he stammered, "uh, do you want to, um-"

"-Get out of here?" she finished, and he nodded nervously. "Yeah. Beer wasn't the taste I was hoping for, anyway."

She winked and linked their hands again, and she began to lead him out. He was thankful to be leaving the shop; it was way too hot and crowded. But as they reached the door, a hand fell on Josh's shoulder and he swore under his breath.

"I got cake!" Oli announced.

Josh said nothing for a while; he felt bad for skipping out on Oli's party and saying no to cake after Oli had gone and got him some. But he was on a diet and he really needed some sex. He sighed and rubbed his forehead, just as one of the other sluts came over to talk to Josh's slut. They spoke for a moment before she turned to look at Josh.

"I have to go," she said, and Josh felt annoyance flood through him.

Before he could say anything, she was hurrying away, most likely telling her skanky friend about the idiot cockblock with cake. He whirled around to face Oli, scowling, and Oli beamed, holding up the cake. Josh took it grudgingly, shoving some in his mouth while Oli bounded away again.

He doubted he could pluck up the courage to talk to another slutty girl. The first one had been all Max's doing, if Josh was completely honest. But apparently he didn't need to pluck up the courage. He stomped back to the bar for another drink, accidentally walking into a pretty little brunette on the way. A smile grew on his lips.

"Sorry," he said, "I didn't see you there."

"Obviously," replied the girl with a dazzling grin. "Maybe you could see me over to the bar?"

"Certainly," he agreed, leading her towards Tom, who this time had the good sense not to say anything.

Josh and the girl grabbed their drinks and headed to another corner to chat, and this time he found it so much easier. She wasn't like the first girl he'd chosen. She had long, dark hair and she wore jeans and a tight belly top. She was dressed casually, but she looked good.

They talked for a while, and it seemed like things were looking up. He felt his third beer take effect, and confidence overwhelmed him. He had this girl in the palm of his hand, and he was taking her home tonight.

But just as he was starting to tell her about his band, which was sure to get her into bed, he saw her eyes narrow and her gaze move behind him. He frowned and turned around, groaning. Oli stood behind him, grinning like an idiot, swaying slightly.

"What do you want now?" Josh moaned, throwing his arms up in exasperation.

"Do you want to see my downstairs?" Oli asked mischievously, wiggling his eyebrows.

"W-what?"

"My downstairs," Oli repeated, pointing vaguely towards the stairs behind the counter.

"Not really, Oli, no."

"You might as well," Oli insisted, nodding behind Josh, "because your bitch is gone!"

Josh turned around to see that his 'bitch' had indeed gone. He scowled at Oli, beyond irritated, and Oli beamed, holding out his hand. Josh pushed past him, leading the way to the stairs behind the counter, and Oli sprang after him. The stairs were narrow and spiralling, but Josh managed to storm down them in his tipsy state.

He was still determined to get what Max had promised him. He didn't know quite what he was doing until he'd stormed into the staff toilets, locking the door behind them and shoving Oli hard against the sink. Oli grunted, but the grin never faltered. Josh grabbed a fistful of the wavy hair on the back of Oli's head and pushed their lips together. He felt Oli's fingers dig painfully into his back, and his grip tightened on Oli's hair, making him groan softly.

He felt Oli's prying fingers tug at his shirt, and he let him drag it off, ripping Oli's off in turn. He bit down hard on Oli's lip, making him chuckle darkly. Oli's searching mouth travelled down Josh's neck, resting there for a while, using teeth and tongue to mark his territory. Josh let Oli push him towards the wall, his back hitting it hard, and he pushed down on Oli's shoulder so he was on his knees.

Oli leaned forward, slowly licking a trail down Josh's pelvis as he whipped the belt off and began undoing his jeans. Josh's eyes fluttered closed as Oli's lips tightened around his erection.

Max had promised him shags, but Josh doubted very much he'd meant this.