Love in All the Wrong Places

I could feel him leaning in closer, and began to panic. I could hear his breath, and felt it tickling my neck, bringing about some unwanted feelings. I was so scared of what was happening, and what could happen. This was precisely the reason that I didn’t want Emmett to find out where I lived. I don’t know how long it had been since Dave and Jessie had left for their date, but I was praying as hard as I could that they would return soon. I felt Emmett grab my right hand and began to massage it in his hands when I heard the door opening and Dave and Jessie were laughing at some unknown joke. God heard my prayers and answered quickly. The laughing ceased pretty quickly when they took in what was happening in front of them. My eyes were still shut, trying to imagine this situation away, as well as holding back the tears I felt prickling behind my eyes.

I heard heavy footsteps from my left running across the wood floors to where we were sitting on the couch. I assumed those footsteps belonged to Dave. My assumption was confirmed when I felt the pressure on the couch to my right being lifted and I heard a slam against the wall as Dave pinned Emmett against the wall.

“Emmett, what the hell do you think you’re doing here?! I thought I made it pretty clear when I saw you the other day that she DIDN'T want to see you!”

I didn’t hear his reply because the tears I felt moments before began streaming down my face. I felt Jessie come sit next to me, trying to soothe me as Dave had Emmett by the shirt and was angrily leading him out the door into the hallway to take care of the situation. Once I heard the door slam behind them, I turned to Jessie and cried into her shoulder, as she sat there rubbing my back to calm me down. I sat there crying for I don’t know how long when I finally heard Dave come back in. Jessie got up when he came in. I looked at them as they had a silent conversation between them consisting of nods and shaking of heads. After a couple exchanges, she gave him a quick peck on the check and went to her room and closed the door. I looked over at Dave, my vision blurred from crying, and watched his figure come closer to me as he sat on the couch next to me, and brought me into his arms, protectively hugging me and allowing me to cry into his shirt, much like I had done with Jessie. I cried until there were no tears left. Dave never budged, never tried to get me to talk, nor tried to say anything. He just sat there, rubbing my back and let me cry as long as I needed. One of the many reasons I was so thankful he was my best friend.

When I finished crying I sat up and looked at him. He moved his arms from around my back to my shoulders and looked at me sympathically. My lip started to quiver and I almost began crying again, when it dawned on me that Emmett had said that Dave had told him where I lived. I was then filled with rage and my face flushed with anger, and my eyes glared at Dave. Catching my shift in mood, he removed his hands from my shoulders and put them up in defense, before slowly getting off the couch and backing slowly away from me, knowing exactly what conversation was about to take place. Before the words could even leave my mouth to ask him about it, he had cut me off by beginning to talk. At this point he was across the room from me in front of the TV. Lucky for him the coffee table was between us, otherwise some serious damage would be headed his way in the form of a nice kick to the crotch. And that would just be the beginning of my payback.

“Look Chris, before you get the chance to permanently ruin my chances of ever having children, please hear me out.”

I looked at him expectantly with an eyebrow raised. Ready to hear whatever reasoning he had for him giving my address to Emmett. I crossed my arms and nodded my head as a signal to continue, and to start explaining soon.

He recognized the look I gave him and took a deep breath. “C, listen to me. It’s not exactly what you think. Yes, I did run into Emmett the other day. Last week actually. First time I’d seen the guy since graduation! You know good and well that he’d been my best friend since I was four! Naturally his and my friendship changed after what happened to you in college, he knew how I felt about that stuff, and should’ve known better than to pull that shit on you. He totally handled it the wrong way and I told him how he should handle it, but of course he insisted he knew you better and handled it his own way.

“That’s beside the point. Point is, he came into the bakery last week, and it was like childhood all over again, C! I’ve missed the guy, despite how he treated you! He and I got to talking about old times. What happened between you two came up in conversation, and I saw a change in him. He wasn’t the same cocky guy I grew up with. He seemed defeated almost, like life had finally given him a knock to the head and gave him the sense he seemed to be lacking. He began to tell me how terrible he felt about it, and I could tell that he genuinely wished to change what happened between you two. He said he wanted to apologize to you, and I told him I thought it would be a great idea. He casually mentioned wanting to drop by your place sometime to apologize, and I told him I’d come with so it wouldn’t freak you out. He was cool with that, and wanted to know where it was at, so he could plan out his work schedule to make sure he could come over when we were all free, since he lives quite a ways from here now. I casually mentioned that you lived in this complex a few minutes from the bakery and that it wasn’t but a few minutes’ walk from here. Chris, I swear I had no clue he was going to come on his own! I never told him what building, just that you lived here. He must’ve recognized your car outside and knew he found you. I’m so sorry!”

As he was finishing up, he had slowly made his way back to the couch, and by the time he had finished telling his story, he had sat back on the couch where he was before and grabbed both my hands in his, willing me to look him in the eye to see if I had forgiven him or not. Sometimes I hated how well he knew me. No matter what I said, he could always tell by the look in my eye how I really felt about things, and he would be able to tell based on the look in my eye whether I had forgiven him or not. I avoided his look as long as possible because I knew I had forgiven him, I just wanted to scare him a bit into being more careful when it came to Emmett. Against his better judgment, I honestly don’t believe Emmett had changed at all, and tonight was a perfect example of that. However, Dave knew I was putting off avoiding his glare and began to poke my check to get me to look at him. I looked at him through my peripheral vision, and tried my best to hide the smirk that began to make its way across my face.

He knew right then that I had forgiven him and had pulled me against him again to engulf me in a huge hug. He kissed the top of my head before apologizing again and getting up from the couch. Getting that arrogant look in his eye from so easily getting forgiveness from me, he got up off the couch and reached up to stretch his arms and torso. His shirt rose above his pants slightly, giving me the perfect opportunity to sabotage his vulnerability. I took this time to take the thick down pillow from the couch and throw it against his stomach as hard as I could, knocking the wind out of him.
Giving a look of mock surprise, he runs over and grabs a small throw pillow on the chair adjacent to the couch and begins to hit me with it. Before long, were chasing each other around the living room trying to avoid each other’s’ blows to the head with pillows. We were laughing hysterically as it reminded me of our high school days again, when everything was so carefree. Jessie heard us and stepped out of her room, already in her pajamas when she took in the sight of us chasing each other with pillows. She quickly ran back into her room before returning with a pillow from her room. She soon joined the chase and after a couple hours of running around the apartment having a massive pillow fight, the three of us collapsed on the couch in exhaustion. We were still laughing as we sank further into the couch. I smiled to myself, thankful for my two best friends, and looked to the clock sitting above the TV. I noticed it was now 2am, and smiled even bigger, knowing my date with Jake was in just over 12 hours. I sighed contently and rested my head against the back of the couch as I felt myself drift off to sleep.

***

I found myself trapped in my mind all night as I found sleep more and more difficult to come by. Once collapsing onto the couch after the massive pillow fight, we stayed up and talked for a brief time. I was content in my life for once, and yet something felt off somehow. I don’t know what it was exactly, but I had this weird feeling that something in my life was off-balance and I couldn’t for the life of me figure out what it was. Dave and Jessie were doing well. Jessie had gone to bed not long after our pillow fight and Dave stuck around to have the conversation we were trying to have before he and Jessie left for their date.

Dave collapsed onto the couch next to me after kissing his girlfriend with a goodnight kiss with a content sigh and a huge grin adorning his lips. He slumped comfortably onto the couch before looking over at me. “Ya know C, I’ve got to be the luckiest guy alive right now. Jessie is just…amazing. I can’t imagine my life without her. C, I have no idea how the hell to thank you for introducing us. She’s everything to me.”

I smiled, taking in my best friend’s happiness. I couldn’t however, shake that through his smiles and happiness that he was hiding something. Something was hurting him, and he wouldn’t talk about it. I could tell by the look in his eyes. Despite how happy he said he was, his award winning smile wasn't reaching his eyes. Now, I’ve never been one to pry into someone’s personal life, but I could tell that something was irking him, and he wanted to talk to me about it, but didn’t know how to bring it up. I figured I would cautiously help him along.

“Hey Dave…I uh, I’m really glad you and Jessie are doing so well. Really I am. But uh, I can tell something is bothering you. I don’t want to pry, but what’s going on? I can tell that whatever it is has really got you torn up, and I hate seeing you so upset when things are going so well right now. Are you ok?”

He laughed darkly before casting his eyes down. “Ha. Yeah, you know me better than I like to admit most days; heck even more than I sometimes know myself.” He flopped his head back towards me and looked me in the eyes. As he stared, his eyebrows furrowed together, and I could tell he was debating internally on what or how to tell me what he was about to. He opened and closed his mouth multiple times before finally choosing how he was going to break the news to me. “C, you know I love Jessie right? I mean, God, we’ve dated for years and she is everything I’ve ever wanted. She’s the perfect girlfriend. I love her so much.”

“That’s great Dave! What’s the problem with that?”

“It’s not fair to her.”

“What’s not?” I ask, confusion forming not only in my voice but also across my features. What the hell was he on about?

“The fact that despite how much I love her, I could never give her my whole heart. It was taken a long time ago by someone else.”

“Dave….what are you talking abo—“

“I’m talking about how I’m in love with someone else and have been for years. I never stopped loving her.”

I sighed internally before formulating my response. “Dave, you love Jessie. This girl, whoever she is, forget about her. Obviously the relationship wasn’t meant to be because clearly she isn’t here anymore.” As I said this, I was racking my brain trying to remember the relationships he had before Jessie; none of which were really that great.

“Actually, she’s sitting in this very room.” As he said this, he continued to stare deeply into my eyes.
I could feel my heart pounding out of my chest. There was NO way Dave could be talking about me, right? I mean, we tried dating once in high school and it was just so weird. He had to have felt that awkwardness between us as well. No way could I be the girl he’s “in love with”. No way I was the girl that stole his heart years ago. I couldn’t even respond to what he said; the shock of his statement making a permanent stay on my face. I was so wrapped up in my mind and what he had said that I didn’t realize what was going on until I noticed Dave’s face a couple of inches from mine, about to close the last bit of distance between our lips before I pushed him away from me and ran out the
door. I had to get out of there.

I got outside and checked my pocket to grab my phone and headphones so I could walk around and clear my head with some good music before realizing that I left them both in the apartment. Along with the keys. Awesome. I rolled my eyes in annoyance before taking a short walk in the park across the street. I took the short ten minute trek before making my way back to the apartment. I was wondering how I was going to get back in , but Dave must have noticed that I neglected to bring my keys with me because I found the door unlocked. I walked inside and saw him sitting in the chair by the couch watching TV. There was no way I could fall asleep now with him here. I didn’t have a TV in my room since it was in the living room, and I desperately needed the distraction so I laid on the couch with my head on the farthest side away from the chair and attempted to distract myself with old re-runs of 90s sitcoms.