Can You Find Me?

Time seemed to fly by, days turned into a weeks and so on. Niall woke up with a huge hangover the morning after his ‘proposal,’ but didn’t remember doing it. He was extremely embarrassed when I told him the story, and profusely apologized for it. Watching him get bright red and flustered was the best part, I have to say.

“It’s so weird being the one that’s flying off instead of you,” I said to Niall on our way to the airport. I’d been looking forward to this California trip for a month, but now that I was finally leaving I didn’t want to go. I already missed Niall and I hadn’t even left yet. I was also anxious about leaving my aunt so close to her due date. She still had 4 weeks left before she popped but still, babies were on their own schedule!

Niall reached over and laced his fingers with mine as he drove down the early morning London streets headed to the airport. He drove actually with one hand on the steering wheel but was also smoking a cigarette with it. Niall rarely smoked, he could make a pack last months (stale cigarettes gag me). He only smoked when he was drinking of stressed or anxious. I had a feeling having me leave was getting to him. Memories of the last time we were far apart, but I wasn’t going to bring it up if he wasn’t. He brought my hand up to his lips so he could press soft kisses to my knuckles, “I know it’s weird, yeah?”

I nodded, “I’m gonna miss you. And don’t forget, you promised to check in on my aunt for me!”

“I know,” he chuckled as he blew smoke out of his mouth, “You’re only gonna be gone a week babe.”

“A lot can happen in a week!”

“You were away from everyone for 10 months before remember?”

I shrugged, “That was different. No one was pregnant then!” And you broke up with me… I was a bit put off with leaving him behind, I just felt that like, me leaving was a bad omen on us now. But that was ridiculous, I know. Blue even called me mental when I voiced my fears out loud.

“Everything’s gonna be fine love. Don’t worry. You’re gonna have so much fun with your brother too.”

I smiled at the thought. Daniel and I had spent many nights on the phone and skype planning what we would do. Disneyland was a must obviously, and I totally wanted beach time, but everything else was up in the air. I did hear from Alex and Jack from All Time Low who were also going to be in LA when I was, so hopefully they were down for some fun! But I was sad Niall couldn’t come. Love was so annoying sometimes, “Are you sure you can’t come with me?” I whined.

“You know I wish I could Ayd. But we’re still in the middle of recording, I have to be here,” he ran his fingers over my knuckles where my hand laid in his on his thigh.

“Yeah,” I sighed. “I know, I’m just being a brat.”

“Well I love the brat side of you. Boosts my ego,” he smirked.

“Wanker.”

“Always.”

He finished his cigarette tossing it out the window and placed his hand back on the wheel. He was fidgety I noticed. His thumb rubbed against my knuckles absently in my hand, his fingers on his other hand kept twitching, faster than the beat of the song playing through the radio. His bottom lip kept wringing through his teeth. He was stressed out with me leaving, it was completely obvious. “Ni are you okay?”

He sighed, “Yeah. Just gonna miss you. I don’t do well away from you, never have.”

My heart fluttered at that. Now who’s boosting egos? “It’s only a week. And I’ll call every night if you want.”

“Yeah, I know.”

I leaned over and pressed a kiss to his cheek, “You’re so whipped.”

“You’re such a bitch,” he laughed. “But I am.”

“I’ll bring you back something from Disneyland if it makes you feel better!”

He smirked, “It does actually.”

The rest of the ride to the airport was filled with random chitchat, as well as my constant messing with the radio. It was a habit at this point more than anything.

Niall came in with me, there wasn’t any press since this wasn’t a One Direction take off, so I didn’t have to worry about dealing with a crowd. When news got out that Niall and I had gotten back together, there was mixed feelings. As always, I ignored most of it, not letting any negative bother me. But I still had to deal with crowds again. Oh joy. But there was no press for me! There were however, stares from people and what not. There always would be when amongst pop music royalty.

Niall held my hand as I checked in at the gate and check my bigger bag, and held my hand as we headed over to where the seats were right before security. “You know, I’m a huge star, you’d think they’d let me past security with you.”

I rolled my eyes not bothering to his my smirk, “Since when do you use your status to get what you want?”

“When it comes to you I’d be a huge twat to get my way honestly.”

I chucked and wrapped my arms around his middle. I placed my face against his chest and breathed in his scent (that was tainted with smoke this morning). His arms encircled me as well, locking me too him. We stood like that for a few moments before I turned my head and kissed the underside of his jaw, “I should get going.”

He groaned, “Fine. Call me when you get to your brothers yeah?”

“Of course.”

His hands came up and cradled the back of my neck as he looked down at me, “I feel like you’re leaving forever,” he laughed softly.

I rolled my eyes, “When did we become this couple? Seriously, we’re so lame.”

“I know!”

I shook my head, “Just kiss me before we get any more embarrassing.”

His lips graced mine gently, his tongue massaging against mine briefly. The kiss was too short for my taste, “You better go before I change my mind and don’t let you leave.”

“Okay,” I sighed and buried my face in his neck one last time, just enjoying being in his arms. It only lasted a minute before I made myself pull away, “I’ll see you in a few days,” I promised. “I’ll call you when I get there!”

“I’ll be waiting.”

*****

It was close to 1 in the afternoon when I landed in LAX. I still can’t sleep on planes, so I was knackered as hell. Daniel felt the need to point it out, “You look tired,” he said as he pulled me into a hug.

“I am. I can’t sleep on planes.”

“Long ride then wasn’t it,” he stated.

“Oh yeah.”

“Come on, let’s get your luggage.” I let him steer me in the direction of baggage claim as he talked about our plans, “I figure we’d go back to my place and you can have a nap. Then we can drive down to the ghetto by the sea and walk around, grab some dinner.”

“’Ghetto by the sea?’” I questioned.

“Venice beach, it’s what everyone calls it,” he mused, “Because it’s true.”

We grabbed my bag after a short wait, and I had a chance to notice some of the teenage girls around the airport staring at me. No doubt ready to start rumors or something online once they got home. I could see it now; ‘Ayden Scarpelli cheats on boyfriend Niall Horan with mystery guy already.’ Okay, maybe I was just jumping to conclusions, most people knew about my brother at this point because get this, I have my own fan base from modeling. gasp! And who I was friends with obviously. It was just still all so weird to me.

I spent the drive to Daniel’s flat looking out the window. God did I love California. It was sunny all the time (well, in LA at least most of the time), and the beach was lovely!

Daniel’s flat was bigger than I imagined it would be. It had a big spacious living room/kitchen area, kind of ‘lofty’ as he put it, and 2 bedrooms down a narrow hallway. “This is the guest room. I got all new sheets and everything! I thought it’d make you more comfortable!”

I tried not to laugh as I looked down at the pillow cases, “Instead of sleeping next to a One Direction member, I can sleep on all their faces. Nice.” I pulled the comforter back and just as I suspected, it wasn’t just One Direction pillow cases. “I hope you keep this for all your guests.”

“Totally planning on it.” He backed up and gestured to the room, “I’ll let you get settled and nap if you want. I’ll wake you in a few hours so we can get your California vacation started.”

“Thanks Danny boy.”

“Don’t call me that!” he whined.

“I’m trying to make up for missed annoying little sister years here!” I called out to him as he left, closing the door behind him.

I pushed my bags to the corner of the room, deciding to unpack later, and kicked my shoes off. I pulled the ridiculous sheets back and climbed in, my body instantly relaxing as it hit the mattress. But Niall’s 17 year old face was smiling at me from the side of the pillow and I remembered I had to call him.

I dug my phone out of my purse that was on the floor near the bed and called him. It didn’t take long for him to answer, “You get there alright?” he said as soon as he picked up.

I hummed, “Yeah just now.”

He groaned, “Oh god.”

“What?”

“Your knackered voice does things to me,” he whined.

“Oh wow,” I laughed, “I’m sorry.”

“You should be,” I could hear the pout in his voice, “You’re not here to help me out.”

“You’re so ridiculous.”

He huffed, “I miss you already. Come home.”

“In a few days bitch, calm down,” I sassed.

“Feisty,” he tisked, “Not helping my little situation here.”

“Little!” I cracked.

“Big! Massive! I meant massive situation!”

I laughed, curling into the pillows more, “Oh by the way, Daniel got new sheets for me.”

“Okay?”

“They’ve got your face on them.”

He roared with laughter, “That’s brilliant. Now you can still sleep with me.”

“You would say that you bloody sap!”

“So what are you doing? Gonna go explorin’?”

“Yeah,” I sighed, “Bit later after I nap, I’m exhausted.”

“Still can’t sleep on planes?”

“Nope.”

“Well, you know what will help you fall asleep?”

“What’s that?”

“Dirty talk,” I could hear the smile in his voice.

“Niall!” I laughed.

“Oh come on babe! I talked you into phone sex before remember?”

I did remember actually and it was awkward and embarrassing, “If you’re already like this and I’ve only been gone like 14 hours, how are you gonna be the rest of the week?”

“My point exactly! Now what are you wearing?”

“What you saw me in when I left your sorry ass at the airport,” I said in a monotone, but the smirk on my face was evident.

“Don’t be a mood killer babe.”

“Fine,” I sighed. “What do you want me to be wearing?”

“You know those red lace panties of yours I love?”

*****

“So you still dating that One Direction dweeb?” Jack Barakat asked. After I slept for a few hours Daniel woke me up and we drove to Venice for a bit, then Alex Gaskarth called and asked if I was in town already. So long story short, we’re having dinner with 1/2 of All Time Low. I could tell Daniel was stoked but held in his fangirl quite well.

I playfully glared at the guitar player, “Yes I am actually.”

“Team Wanted!” Alex joked.

“As am I,” I sassed, “You know I’m good friends with Jay remember.”

“Oh yeah, you apparently slept with him, I remember that insanity,” Jack said with no shame.

I rolled my eyes, “Yeah, that was a fun time for me in the eyes of directioners everywhere.”

“Is there a British boy band you don’t know?” Daniel asked.

“Take That, 5ive, I’ve only met 2 members of JLS, so that doesn’t count.”

“Totally does!” Jack argued.

“I totally forgot about 5ive,” Alex chimed in. “’Slam Dunk The Funk’ was such a badass song!”

“I totally agree,” I laughed.

Daniel and Jack looked between us confused, “I don’t think I’ve heard that song,” Daniel said.

“You’re totally missing out! We’re downloading it when we get back to your flat!”

Alex took this opportunity to mock my accent, “‘Flat!’ You know, I’m British too.”

“Yes, I’m quite aware Gaskarth. You only tell me every time you mock my accent!”

“It’s a cute accent though, he can’t help it,” Jack defended his friend.

“So how long you here for?” Alex asked finishing his beer before our feed arrived.

“6 days.”

“Do you wanna do us a favor?” Jack asked.

I eyed them, “I don’t know…”

“Wanna model for JAGK and AWG?” Alex asked. “It’d only take you a few hours. There’s only a handful of new stuff.”

I shrugged looking at my brother, “Do we have time?”

He nodded, “Totally. Sounds cool, I’m inviting myself to this.”

“The invite goes without saying,” Jack said.

*****

I’d been to Disneyland 3 times already. I’ve modeled for Jack and Alex, and managed to catch a Fall Out Boy concert (it pays to know the band!). Now there was only one thing left to do in this country.

“You sure you’re ready to do this?”

I nodded as I stared up at the massive beach house. All week I’d put off coming to see the house my mother had been living in all these years, and now here I was, two days before I headed back to London, bracing myself to go inside. I wasn’t over exaggerating, the house was a massive McMansion on the beach, like straight out of an episode of The OC. “Yeah, let’s go in.”

The inside was just what you’d expect on an episode of Cribs, well… maybe a moderate celebrity, but still pretty bloody impressive. You walked in to the living room that ‘no one ever used’ said Daniel as we walked by. It had big nice couches that looked good enough to sleep on. Then he walked me into the kitchen that would impress the likes of Jamie Oliver and Gordon Ramsay! Like, these people actually had a stainless steel fridge!

I guess I shouldn’t have been so impressed, I mean, One Direction and Little Mix have their own impressive houses. Even Max and Josh’s house is amazing. It was just the thought that this was what my mother had abandoned me for. I can’t say I blame her, this was a nice house.

Daniel gave me a grant tour. This house had everything; 5 bedrooms 6 bathrooms, a pool and hot tub. Like, why do you need a pool when you lived right off the beach, honestly? Most of the house was already boxed, “I was packing everything when I came across the will and all the stuff about you.” He explained all that as we entered the master bedroom, “You can look through whatever you want.”

I tentatively walked over to the box that was on a long oak dresser. There were a few pictures stacked on top; her wedding photo to Daniel’s father, a few family portraits; you know, the standard family pose, with the father standing behind everyone with his arm on his families shoulder (Blue hated stiff portraits like that). Then at the bottom of the box I found a picture of her and me when I was about 7. I remembered the picture vividly because it was one of the only good memories I had of my mother before my dad got sick.

It was at Blue’s parents’ house, at a barbeque. She had me on her lap crushing me to her in a hug from behind and we were both smiling widely at the camera. I was wearing purple overalls and those frilly socks that everyone’s mom made them wear, and my hair was in a long braid. I remember always fighting with her when she’d sit me down to braid my hair. She always pulled too hard when she ran a brush through it. I got this weird feeling the longer I looked at the picture. Like, I knew the women in the picture was my mom, but the women who’s room I was standing in now wasn’t. It was like I was acknowledging that my mother had died 10 years ago instead of a few months ago. She wasn’t my mother, she hadn’t been since the moment she dumped me with my aunt.

I turned back to Daniel who was standing in the doorway giving me my space, “I don’t want to look through this.”

His eyebrows shot up in surprise, “You sure?”

I nodded, “Yeah. It’s too weird. This lady wasn’t my mother. She hadn’t been for a long time.” I took a few steps, crossing the room towards Daniel, “But she was one of yours. So, if you want help going through it then I’ll help you.”

He smiled, walking over and pulling me into a side hug, “It’s fine, I can get my friends to help me pack it up. It’s not your burden if you don’t want it to be.”

I shrugged, “It’s just weird is all.”

“I get it.” We walked out of the room and back down the stairs, “You know what I wanna do?”

“What’s that?”

“Sit in the living room no one was ever aloud to sit in!”

I laughed, “Wow, dream big there Daniel.” But even at my words we both walked into the direction of the big comfy looking couches.

“These are more comfortably than I imagined,” he said as he fell into the love seat, spreading out across the cushions.

I followed suit and threw myself across the couch, “I knew it. They looked like fucking heaven when we walked in.”

“I’ve always thought that.”

“So,” I sighed, “Are you selling the house?”

“I don’t know… What do you think?”

I rolled over onto my back and angled up so I could look over at him, “I think… it’s already paid off and everything, yeah?”

“Yeah. Has been for years.”

I bit my lip in thought, “I think we should keep it. Even if you don’t want to live in it. It’s a place to come and get away. I’d have a place to stay when I visited.” I sat up at a thought, “Think of the parties we could throw in this place!”

He laughed, “You make some fantastic points Ayd.”

I relaxed back into the couch, “And who knows, maybe someday I’ll move here. It’d make it a whole lot easier if I already had a house, yeah?”

He hummed in agreement, “So we’re keeping it?”

“We’re keeping it.”

*****

Niall and Blue both picked me up from the airport. As soon as my feet hit the area where the public was allowed to wait Blue’s body collided with mine, “Bitch I missed you!”

I laughed into her hair as my own arms wrapped around her, “I missed you too! I brought presents!”

“Of course you did!” I scoffed as we parted, she placed a kiss on my cheek, “How was it?”

I shrugged, “It was fun. Already can’t wait to go back.”

“Not too soon I hope,” Came Niall’s voice a few feet behind Blue. She rolled her eyes but smiled as she moved out of the way for Niall to take her place, “I miss you,” he said as his arms circled my waist and his lips ghosted over my neck.

“I missed you two.”

“You guys act like you didn’t talk on the phone and skype every single day,” Blue gagged.

“Like you and Max aren’t just as bad!” I shot.

“Yeah, yeah,” she sighed.

Niall placed a soft, quick, kiss on my lips before his hand found mine and we all headed towards baggage claim. “I actually bought everyone a bunch of crap.” I laughed, “I even had to steal on of Daniel’s suitcases to pack it all. I went a big crazy at Disneyland,” I admitted.

“Just wait til you see what she got you Niall,” Blue said and winked seductively. She fucking would.

“Um,” Niall said blushing, “That look she’s giving me is making me feel uneasy,” he laughed.

“Ignore her, she’s just being a twat.”

*****

We grabbed takeaway on the way home and we all had dinner. Just me, my boyfriend and my best friend. It was the best thing to come home too even though I was tired from the flight.

After we ate I gave Blue all the stuff I got her in Disneyland; A Little Mermaid t-shirt, pink sparkly Mickey ears, and a bunch of other random stuff I thought she’d love. “It’s like Christmas!” she sang as she looked through everything. She pulled me into a hug, “Thanks babe. I’m gonna take this all into my room, then I’m gonna head out cause I know you two are gonna be loud.”

“Bitch,” I shot.

“Slut!” she yelled back.

I got Niall to help me drag my bags into my room before shutting the door. “So, do you want the joke gift first or the real ones?”

He looked at me curiously, “The joke one I think.”

I laughed, “Alright. Thought I think it’s more of a gift for me than anything.” I went over and started digging through the suitcase until I got to the garment bag at the bottom. “When I saw it I couldn’t help it, you know how I am. You’ll understand when you see it.”

He took the bag from me cautiously before setting it on the bed and opening it, “Oh my god I knew it! Somehow I knew it!” He picked up the costume on the hanger and held it up to his front, “Do I make a sexy Peter Pan then?”

“Oh yeah,” I laughed. “Just as I imagined.”

“I can’t believe you bought me a Peter Pan costume,” he laughed.

I reached into the suitcase and handed him the other part of it, “I also got you a Peter Pan hat with your name on it.”

He grabbed it and put it on, “How do I look?”

“Like I wanna ride you with that hat on.”

“This was the key to dirty talk?! Oh my god this thing comes with tights!” he shrieked as he looked more closely at everything.

“It’s authentic!” I exclaimed.

“You’re mental,” he mused.

I pouted a bit, “Well you don’t have to wear it. I just thought you’d look really hot in it.”

His face softened, “I’ll wear it for you if you really want me too.”

I bit my lip, “Just once?”

“Can I talk you into a sexy Queen Amidala costume?”

“Oh my god, only if you dress like Anakin!” Hayden Christenson was soooooo swoon worthy in those movies. Only reason to watch if you asked me. By the way, I swear every guy has a Star Wars fetish!
He chuckled, “We’ll see,” he came over and pecked my lips, “Let’s start with the Peter costume first yeah? I’ll wear it, I promise.”

I beamed before kissing him full on the mouth, “That’s why I love you. Now you want your real, not just for the bedroom, gifts?”