Can You Find Me?

“Oh my god!” I heard Liam call from my closet.

“What?” I asked look up from my laptop. He’d come over to look through my snapbacks, and had been using my closet like his private shopping spree.

He came out of the closet holding up the Peter Pan costume Ayden got me when she came back from LA a few weeks ago. His face was full of joy and mockery, “Please, please tell me you wear this all the time!”

I rolled my eyes, “Only on fetish night.”

He pulled a face, “Oh god, okay way to much information there ay mate?”

“Well you asked,” I shrugged. Truth was I’ve only wore it twice. Once for Ayden the night she gave it to me (turned her into an animal, swear to god) and once to a party (Ayden went as a redheaded Tinkerbelle).

“When’s her aunt having the baby?” he asked venturing back into my closet.

“Any day now. It’s been baby central over there.” Getting ready for the arrival of Lil Nugget (what we’ve all come to call him or her) has been nothing but running around for last minute everything. Ayden and I spend the last week baby proofing Jenny and Will’s house. Well, Will and I did. Ayden and Jenny spent most of the time sitting on the couch talking about baby names.

Liam came back out with 4 snapbacks and made himself comfortable on my bed next to me, “What if the baby comes on the day of your surprise?”

I winced a bit, “Yeah, I thought about that. If it happens than I guess we just aren’t going.”

“But you’ve had this planned since she left for LA!”

“I know,” I nodded, “But if Lil Nugget comes that night, well she can’t miss the birth.”

“That would suck though. Hopefully it all works out, Ayden’s going to lose her shit when she finds out what you’ve got under your sleeve!”

“That’s the plan.” I really hoped everything works out because I was so excited for what I had planned. I admit, I didn’t think it would happen but then I got the green light and… in a few days it would happen.

“I can’t believe you’re all… settled down.”

I laughed, “Why’s that?”

“Because,” he shrugged, “You’re like my little brother, it’s just… so weird-”

“Weird?”

“A good weird!” he assured. “I guess I’m just trying to say I’m happy for you. I love Ayden and I’m just glad she makes you happy.” He papped my shoulder brotherly, “Just don’t fuck it up again yeah?” he smirked.

I scoffed, “Thanks for that! But uh yeah, thanks. Means a lot yeah? I really love her.”

“Clearly, you wore a Peter Pan outfit for her. Thing has bloody tights!”

I pushed his arm, “You’re not gonna let that go are you?”

“Hell no,” he laughed. “I even snapped a picture of it to share with the lads.”

“Oh Jesus.”

*****

Liam and I were finishing off a pizza when I got the call, “Niall! Aunt Jenny’s in labor! We’re on our way to the hospital!”

I almost choked on my pizza, “Now? Okay I’ll be there as soon as I can.”

“Can you pick up Blue from the bakery?” I could hear how crazy excited she was with every word.

“Yeah no problem. I’ll see you in a bit.”

“Yeah okay! Thanks! I love you!”

“I love you too!” I threw in before she hung up.

Liam sat up as I did, “Her aunt’s having the baby?”

“Yeah, I gotta go get Blue from work and meet them there.”

“I’ll text everyone else, should we meet you guys there?”

I smiled at my mate, “Yeah, she’d probably love that.”

We parted ways in my driveway and headed off in different directions. When I got to the bakery, Blue was already outside waiting for me. I had hardly stepped on the break when she threw herself into the passenger seat, “Drive popstar! We got a baby coming into the world!”

“I’m going as fast as traffic will let me Blue!” I laughed.

“You’re Niall fucking Horan, they’ll forgive you for speeding!”

“I don’t think it works that way babe.”

She sighed dramatically, “Whatever. I’m just excited!”

“So am I. And I think Ayden’s losing her mind.”

“I know. When I was on the phone with her she was talking so fast!”

I nodded, “Yeah same here. I didn’t think it’d be tonight.”

“Me either, I thought Lil nugget would be a week late not right on time.”

We spend the car ride discussing what we were hoping the baby was gonna be and what they were going to name it. Jenny and Will have been jumping around with different names the whole time none of us had even a tiny idea of what it could end up named.

When we got to the hospital, Liam and Harry were right behind us. When we got to the maternity ward Ayden was practically bouncing by the reception desk. Blue ran up to her first, “Hey, what’s going on?”

I watched the birds exchange hugs as Harry, Liam and I crowded around them, “I was at Aunt Jenny’s and we were all trying to decide what to get for dinner when she water broke!” she said excitedly. “Like just splat! water everywhere! It was gross!” she laughed. “Jenny and Will are in the delivery room now. The nurses are checking to see how dilated she is to see when she’ll be ready to go. I came out here to give them some privacy and wait for you guys.” She turned and gave Liam and Harry hugs and thanked them for being here before she wrapped her arms around me. I pulled her in close, “Thanks for picking up Blue.”

“No problem,” I mumbled into her hair. “How is she?”

She looked up at me and kissed my lips, “She’s good, excited. They both are.” She was beaming with happiness, “You should have heard Jenny on the car ride her. She started getting real bad contractions and was cussing out Will for doing this too her before he put a rock on her finger.”

“Women,” Harry sassed.

“Bite your tongue Styles!” Ayden snapped, laughter evident in her voice, “Where’s Dakota?”

“Stuck at work,” he explained. “She’s gonna try and cut out early.”

“Louis and Eleanor are on their way,” Liam added. “And Zayn is in Bradford, but Perrie is on her way as well.”

“Aw, you didn’t all have to be here.”

“Yes we did!” Harry exclaimed, “You’re family!”

I watched her roll her eyes, “You guys are insane. But I love you, thank you.”

“Ayden!” we all turned and Will was coming down the corner, “We’re about to start pushing, Jenny wants you in there.”

“While she gives birth?!”

“Yes come on!” He turned and went back down the hall.

Ayden turned and looked back at me with alarm, “I’m gonna… holy shit.”

I chucked and placed a small kiss on her lips, “You’ll be fine love. It’ll be great. We’ll be here waiting.”

She nodded, “Okay.” She took a deep breath, “Okay. Just gonna go witness the miracle of life, no big deal.”

“Louis’ mom does it all the time,” Harry said, “You’ll do fine.”

“She’s a trained professional!” Ayden flipped him off as she took off down the hall to where her aunt was getting ready to bring life into the world.

*****

Labor is no fucking joke! There’s nothing but pain, sweating, crying and cursing! I swear I’ve never heard my aunt cuss so much in one sitting then I did as she pushed and pushed.

I was going to need a lot of drugs if I ever did this.

Since Will was up by her head, holding her hand and couching her breathing, I was lucky enough to hold one of her legs! Because apparently this hospital didn’t use stirrups like they do on the tellie, nope.

So. Much. Blood.

But then, I saw a tiny head and none of that mattered. I mean, it was still gross to see all the blood and the way her vagina- never mind. But there Lil nugget was, about to come out! “I’m gonna need you to do one more big push Jennifer,” the doctor instructed, “One more and then you’re baby is out.”

I watched in amazement as the baby started to edge its way out. Holy shit the miracle of birth was crazy awesome! And then Lil nugget was out, and crying and… Lil nugget was a boy! “Oh my god!” I exclaimed happily, “Jenny, Will! It’s a boy! You have a boy!” I was crying like a baby all ready as I watched them clean out his airways and then he let out the tiniest, most precious little wail I’ve ever heard.

Will came over and gave my shoulders an encouraging squeeze as we switched spots. I held my aunts hand as we both watched Will but the umbilical cord. Well I did, I think my aunt was a bit dazed. Then Will was bringing the new baby to us to show Jenny their son. I backed up and let their little family have a little moment. “Shall I get a picture?” one of the nurses asked.

“Yes!” My aunt said, she was crying too. “Ayden, get over here, you’re in this too.” So I went to her other side, and leaned in and smiled through my happy tears to the camera. After it was taken I was back staring at the little baby. He had a little bit of dark hair, totally Will’s doing I think, and he was looking up at my aunt with pure wonder. “He’s got your eyes Ayden,” my aunt said smiling down at the baby.

“You think?” I sniffed.

She turned and beamed up at me, “He looks so much like you did when you were born.” I watched as a fresh set of tears fall from her eyes, “I was around your age when you were born. We’ve come full circle!” she laughed.

“Wanna know what we’re naming him?” Will asked.

“Yes!” I sighed dramatically, “I’m dying to call him something other than Lil nugget!”

“Finnick.”

“Finn for short,” Jenny explained.

I looked between the little baby and my aunt and Will, “Finnick? I didn’t see that coming, I like it. He’s a Lancaster yeah?” I asked Will, wondering if they were going to do the ‘new age’ hyphen last name thing or not since they weren’t married yet.

He nodded, “He’s definitely a Lancaster. Finnick Ayden Lancaster.”

“Ayden?” I squeaked, “Really?”

They both were giving me such big smiles, “Aiden with an ‘I.’ We’ve decided he deserved to be named after such an amazing person. And who better than his big sister.”

“Oh my god,” My voice broke with emotion as new tears came. “I… I don’t know what to say.”

“Say you’ll babysit for us every once in a while,” Will laughed.

“Of course, its part of the sister/cousin thing,” I smiled.

“We love you Ayden. Thank you for being here,” he said.

I laughed through my tears, “Oh god, stop making me cry!”

*****

It was a sight to see I was sure. 4/5ths of One Direction and a Little Mix singer standing around the glass of the baby nursery looking in on my little brother. I’d gotten texts from the You Me At Six bunch congratulating me and my family since they were out of town for a show. I also go texts from Oli and Tom Sykes as well as a few other friends, and my brother Daniel. “I can’t believe he’s finally here,” Blue said, her face practically smashed to the glass.

“Little Finn has a nice ring to it,” Liam said, “Better than Lil nugget yeah?”

“He’s got such a cute name!” Kota added. She just ran in only moments ago as we were headed to see Finn here. (I was so glad in this moment that her and Louis had worked their shit out!)

“He’s so freaking cute!” Harry cooed. He was such a sap when it came to babies.

I felt Niall’s grip on my waist tighten, “He’s perfect.”

“Oh course he is,” I said, “He’s named after me.” I was so captivated by the little baby behind the glass from us, twitching as babies do. He had no idea just how lucky of a life he was going to have… not that I’m tooting my own horn here, but I plan to be one awesome sister/causing thing… We’ll figure out that terminology eventually.

“I can’t wait to have one,” Louis said. “They look like so much fun!”

“They aren’t toy’s Lou,” Perrie laughed.

“And I hope you aren’t planning to have one any time soon,” Eleanor said skeptically, “I’ve got shit to do first.” We all laughed at that.

“Don’t worry Lou,” Harry said patting his mate’s shoulder, “I’ll have your love child.”

“Thanks mate.”

“Idiots,” Blue, Perrie, Kota, El and I said together, which caused another round of laughter from our group.

*****

“Where are you taking me?” I asked for probably the millionth time since Niall picked me up. He just sprang this outing on me this morning, telling me to be ready by 7 but not bothering to tell me why or where we were going.

“Calm down, you’ll know when we get there!”

I huffed at his lack of answer and settled on looking out the window and fucking with the radio. We were driving through the familiar parts of the city, which gave nothing of where we were going away to me sadly.

That is until we pulled up to a very recognizable building. “We’re going to a gig?” Then I saw the sign, “We’re seeing The Cab and The Summer Set?!”

He smiled over at me as he parked, “Surprise!”

“What? How? …What?”

He shrugged, “I saw they were coming a month ago and I tweeted them, got tickets, boom, here we are. We get to go up on the balcony so we won’t be mobbed don’t worry.”

“Oh my god! This is amazing!” I practically threw myself at him over the center conceal of his truck.

He laughed into my hair, “You’re welcome babe.” I was at a loss really. I mean, I’ve seen and met The Summer Set a few time, but this… this was different. Niall and I had our first kiss to this band! They were a part of our story, our soundtrack! “Let’s go in yeah?”

We entered into the venue through a back entrance and were lead up to the second floor balcony area where the VIP and bands were. The venue didn’t have much of a backstage area so this was where everyone went.

Of course being with Niall, people came up to us to talk to him, get a picture and all that. Of course since The Cab was playing tonight as well, so of course Singer made his appearance. I was so used to this it was like second nature to stand back and let him do his thing. I was standing off to the side when Jess from The Summer Set came up to me, “Hey, Ayden right? We met while we were touring with You Me At Six right?” To be honest I was surprised she remembered me.

“Yeah, hey!” she pulled me into a hug, “I’m so excited to see you guys tonight!” I gushed.

“Thank you. I’m glad you could come. Your boyfriends a charmer,” she said casting a look over my shoulder.

I laughed, “Yeah, he really is.”

“How long have you guys been together? Few years or something right?”

Well wasn’t that a complicated question. I just shrugged, “More or less.” We moved on and started talking about touring and things we had in common. The last time I met her we got along really well and I always had a laugh talking with her.

“I should go warm up, but we have to hang out next time you’re in the states!” she waved her phone up since we’d just exchanged numbers.

“Yeah of course. Good luck tonight!”

After that Niall and I met and talked with the rest of the band as well as some crew and other people that were around. When the opening bands went on we wondered off to our own area of the balcony to watch the show. “You having fun?” he asked after the second band walked off stage.

“Yeah. Thanks for this!”

“Of course,” he said before placing a kiss right below my ear.

Then The Summer Set took the stage and it was amazing. I sang along to every song and danced in my spot. I was ecstatic when I saw Niall singing along to a few songs and moving around with me.

“So we’ve got a few songs left for you,” Brian Dales said to the crowd. “I hope you don’t mind if we slow it down for a second here. We haven’t played this song live in a while, but we got a special request and we’re not one to disappoint!” I leaned into Niall as I listened to Brian, “This song is off our first full length record and it’s dedicated to a couple up on the balcony. This song’s called ‘Passenger Seat.’”

I shit you not, I swear my heart stopped when he said that. As the song started I looked back at Niall and he had a shit eating grin on his face, “Did you do this?”

He shrugged, “I may have suggested they play it.”

I wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled his face to mine and crashed my lips to his softly as Brian Dales sang the lyrics to the song that meant pretty much everything to me. “I love you Niall Horan!” I yelled over the music.

He laughed, “I love you Ayden Scarpelli!”