Status: Hiatus
Let Me Be the One
Peanuts
I sat in the chair, sitting next to Mrs. Browns old high school sweetheart and her nurse. The man was just sitting there, holding his hands on his lap in respect but I couldn't help but notice the ring on his finger. He didn't love Mrs. Brown anymore, he had no right being in the front row.
The nurse was crying, on the other hand. Silent tears were spilling from her eyes an she kept dabbing them with her handkerchief. Her black makeup had all but worn off and her eyes were rimmed with red.
I, on the other hand, was holding in my cries as best as I could. I knew that I would break down eventually, but I didn't want it to be before the eulogy. I wrote it and was reading it anyway.
When they asked me to write the eulogy, I just agreed right away, not knowing what it was. I had learned my English in Holland, and even though they taught me nearly everything, I didn't know most of the funeral terms.
The piano ended and the man playing, leaned in towards the microphone, "and now, Hilda's granddaughter will read the eulogy."
That was me.
I shakily stood up and walked to the front, behind the podium. I looked out at the small amount of people gathered in the crowd. I only knew a few of them; Frank, Tom, and Samantha.
"Um, for starters, I'm not her actual granddaughter." I heaved. I looked down at the little cards in my hands but the words were jumbled and didn't seem right. They weren't personal, just telling about her life. "I had a eulogy written but everyone here already knows everything about Mrs. Browns life so I don't see why I would have to repeat it.
"The truth about Mrs. Brown, or Hilda, is that she is honestly the sweetest and most caring person ever. She was trustworthy and she trusted you too. If you told her that someone was a jerk, she believed you and then gave you advice on how to get passed it."
I chuckled slightly, remembering her advice. "And I'm sure everyone here knows about her 'advice.' You all know that she's either straight and to the point, simply telling you exactly what you should do, or she gives the absolute most horrendous ideas ever. She once told me to lock the man across our street in a freezer because he kept on stealing my newspaper!"
The crowd laughed and I knew immediately that this is what Mrs. Brown would have wanted. She wouldn't want us to dwell on the sadness. "She also had the best sense of humour in the world. Like, ever." there was a murmur of agreement. "Whenever I was sad, I would go to her and she would cheer me up like that." I tried to snap my fingers but it didn't make a sound, "like that... That... That..." Every time I said 'that' I'd attempt to snap my fingers.
The people in the funeral home laughed as I attempted to snap. Finally, I just gave up.
"I feel like I should be talking about how much Mrs. Brown will be missed, and she will, but I have a feeling that she would want us to be happy. For us to look at the good things. Until now, I think I've thought of this as her... Leaving. But she's not, she's going to finally see the love of her life again. We shouldn't cry because she's going to a better place."
People nodded and I could hear words of agreement, "That doesn't mean we can't miss her though..." More nodding. "I honestly don't even know what to say anymore, I think that my written eulogy would have taken longer but I know I said all I needed to."
I got down from the podium and took my spot back in my seat as the funeral director took his rightful place behind the mahogany podium. "Thank you Ver-Verwoah- Varwoahsting?" I shrugged an he continued. "The last thing Hilda wrote at the bottom of her will was a simple message that she wanted to be delivered. 'Dont lose sleep over anything.'"
Piano played as the front row, stood and walked down the aisle and out the door. The coffin was carried behind the church and to the cemetery, where a fresh gravestone was waiting.
Hilda Brown
Loving wife, sister, and friend
May you forever Rest In Peace
The sadness returned to my heart as I watched as the coffin slowly was lowered into the ground. I sucked in the tears but a few had managed to slip out. That was my last real friend.
Someones hand slipped into mine and I looked up to see it was Frank. It was the first time I had talked to him in six weeks. He gave my hand a tight squeeze and managed a small smile before we turned back to the burial.
After Mrs. Brown was buried, the crowd dispersed into different areas of the cemetery. I, on the other hand, dropped Franks hand and walked away. Across the street and into a coffee shop. I knew that Frank was following me but I didn't stop him.
The aroma of freshly ground coffee and baked goods hit me like a tidal wave. The lights were dimmed and I nearly knocked over an entire dark, stained table. I made my way across the brick floor to the back of the shop and took a seat, not even bothering to order something from the front.
"I'm sorry for your loss, by the way. I didn't have the chance to say that earlier." Frank nodded to me and sat in the chair opposite of me.
"Thank you." I looked down at my gloved fingers. I started smoothing out the crinkles of my black, lace dress. An awkward silence took over the table until I finally spoke up. "I'm sorry for that day in the diner. For hurting you."
"I'll be fine." Frank shrugged.
I placed my face in my hands and covered my eyes. I was so exhausted with life that I just wanted to give up now. I stayed like that for a few minutes until I felt a tap on the shoulder. I looked up to see my two all time favourite people in the world.
Tom and Samantha.
"Oh." That's all I said. Frank was still sitting across from me and he looked downright pissed.
"Er, we just wanted to say that we were sorry for your loss." Tom said, looking at his feet. I continued to stare at him, not knowing what to say. He placed a small, paper bag in front of me. "I brought you this."
A cookie. He brought me a cookie to make up for all the wrongs he's done in the world.
"Thanks." I sighed and politely chipped a piece off the cookie and popped it in my mouth. It tasted sweet.
"Uh, listen. About the... Thing. I just wanted to say that I was sorry for hurting you-"
"Tom, I honestly don't want to hear it. Not today." I sighed and chipped another piece off the cookie.
"But-"
"She said no." Frank snapped and glared at Tom. He crossed his arms across his chest and looked ready to kill if he needed to. Not that he needed to, he wasn't my friend anymore.
"I don't see where you came in and picked up the right to speak for her." Samantha sneered, defending her boyfriend.
Something felt funny in my mouth. My tongue was tingling and the feeling was spreading down my throat. At first, it didn't really bother me, but the tingling had quickly turned to a burning and I started to find it increasingly hard to breathe.
"She said so herself that she didn't want to talk to you. You lost the right to even look at her the second you shoved your tongue down each others throats." Frank snarled. "I think you should go now."
"What do you think, Vera?" Tom asked. It was the first time that any of them had even looked at me since they started to argue.
"Can't... Breathe..." I rasped, clasping my hands over my throat. My throat had swelled shut and my tongue was now doubled in size. I fell from the chair and onto my knees, clawing at my neck to get my breathing tube open.
"Vee?" Frank gasped and leaned down by my side with one hand on my back. He whipped around to Tom. "What the fuck did you do to her?" he growled.
"We didn't do anything! What's wrong with her?" Tom screeched but Sam was already calling an ambulance.
"A crowd had surrounded me as I was gasping for air that wasn't coming. Faint sirens sounded in the distant as I fell into Franks arms. Spit spilled from my open mouth because I couldn't swallow it and I could feel the energy slipping from my body.
"What the fuck was in that cookie?" Samantha screamed at what I assumed to be the baker.
"Uh, cinnamon, flour, milk, peanuts-"
"SHE'S FUCKING ALLERGIC TO PEANUTS!" Frank roared. Those were the last words I heard before my vision finally faded out.
[x]
"I'm glad you're awake, Miss. You had quite a scare there." a woman said the second I opened my eyes.
I was laying on an uncomfortable board thing in a cramped room. The floors and walls were shiny white with the only thing besides a chair in the corner and some medical supplies being my bed thing.
Suddenly, one of the walls opened up to reveal Frank standing there. Only then did I realize that I was in an ambulance. Judging by the familiar funeral home in the background, I hadn't even gone to the hospital.
"So what happened?" I asked, ignoring the new presence in the cramped space as Frank closed the doors and took a seat in the chair.
"There were peanuts in the cookies. You had an allergic reaction." Frank explained quickly. "Sam called an ambulance and they made it here just in time."
"There was no need to bring you to the E.R. We had everything right here and could treat you on the spot. Of course you're going to need to fill out some paperwork but other than that, you're free to go." the lady grinned.
"Um, okay." it was the only thing I could think of. And then the thought of the hospital bill came to mind. "Wait, do I have to pay for this?"
The lady chuckled, "unfortunately, it's $500 for the ambulance and some more for the medication and ultra sound."
"Oh." I nodded, "wait. What ultrasound?"
"We had to do an ultrasound to make sure that your baby was okay from the lack of oxygen. Don't worry, everything is just fine." she grinned. "Congratulations you two on becoming parents."
I froze and looked at Frank with worried eyes, "No, no, no, that's impossible. I was on birth control-"
"Have you taken any antibiotics around the time you had intercourse?" I slowly nodded. I had to take them for my car accident. "antibiotics and a few other medications will cancel out the effects of birth control."
...well this was news to me.
"B-b-but I took a pregnancy test! Two pregnancy tests! They came back negative!" I argued. There had to be some kind of mistake.
The lady shrugged, "There are a lot of reasons for false negative pregnancy tests. You could have done it wrong-"
"YOU PEE ON A FUCKING STICK! HOW HARD IS THAT?!" I screamed and the lady flinched.
"Miss, I can't tell you why your test was negative but I am 100% sure that you are pregnant. We took a blood test to confirm." she said, handing me a small square of paper. On it, was black, grey, and white blobs and dots.
It was an ultrasound picture.
I was pregnant and I had no idea whether it was Franks or Toms.
The nurse was crying, on the other hand. Silent tears were spilling from her eyes an she kept dabbing them with her handkerchief. Her black makeup had all but worn off and her eyes were rimmed with red.
I, on the other hand, was holding in my cries as best as I could. I knew that I would break down eventually, but I didn't want it to be before the eulogy. I wrote it and was reading it anyway.
When they asked me to write the eulogy, I just agreed right away, not knowing what it was. I had learned my English in Holland, and even though they taught me nearly everything, I didn't know most of the funeral terms.
The piano ended and the man playing, leaned in towards the microphone, "and now, Hilda's granddaughter will read the eulogy."
That was me.
I shakily stood up and walked to the front, behind the podium. I looked out at the small amount of people gathered in the crowd. I only knew a few of them; Frank, Tom, and Samantha.
"Um, for starters, I'm not her actual granddaughter." I heaved. I looked down at the little cards in my hands but the words were jumbled and didn't seem right. They weren't personal, just telling about her life. "I had a eulogy written but everyone here already knows everything about Mrs. Browns life so I don't see why I would have to repeat it.
"The truth about Mrs. Brown, or Hilda, is that she is honestly the sweetest and most caring person ever. She was trustworthy and she trusted you too. If you told her that someone was a jerk, she believed you and then gave you advice on how to get passed it."
I chuckled slightly, remembering her advice. "And I'm sure everyone here knows about her 'advice.' You all know that she's either straight and to the point, simply telling you exactly what you should do, or she gives the absolute most horrendous ideas ever. She once told me to lock the man across our street in a freezer because he kept on stealing my newspaper!"
The crowd laughed and I knew immediately that this is what Mrs. Brown would have wanted. She wouldn't want us to dwell on the sadness. "She also had the best sense of humour in the world. Like, ever." there was a murmur of agreement. "Whenever I was sad, I would go to her and she would cheer me up like that." I tried to snap my fingers but it didn't make a sound, "like that... That... That..." Every time I said 'that' I'd attempt to snap my fingers.
The people in the funeral home laughed as I attempted to snap. Finally, I just gave up.
"I feel like I should be talking about how much Mrs. Brown will be missed, and she will, but I have a feeling that she would want us to be happy. For us to look at the good things. Until now, I think I've thought of this as her... Leaving. But she's not, she's going to finally see the love of her life again. We shouldn't cry because she's going to a better place."
People nodded and I could hear words of agreement, "That doesn't mean we can't miss her though..." More nodding. "I honestly don't even know what to say anymore, I think that my written eulogy would have taken longer but I know I said all I needed to."
I got down from the podium and took my spot back in my seat as the funeral director took his rightful place behind the mahogany podium. "Thank you Ver-Verwoah- Varwoahsting?" I shrugged an he continued. "The last thing Hilda wrote at the bottom of her will was a simple message that she wanted to be delivered. 'Dont lose sleep over anything.'"
Piano played as the front row, stood and walked down the aisle and out the door. The coffin was carried behind the church and to the cemetery, where a fresh gravestone was waiting.
Hilda Brown
Loving wife, sister, and friend
May you forever Rest In Peace
The sadness returned to my heart as I watched as the coffin slowly was lowered into the ground. I sucked in the tears but a few had managed to slip out. That was my last real friend.
Someones hand slipped into mine and I looked up to see it was Frank. It was the first time I had talked to him in six weeks. He gave my hand a tight squeeze and managed a small smile before we turned back to the burial.
After Mrs. Brown was buried, the crowd dispersed into different areas of the cemetery. I, on the other hand, dropped Franks hand and walked away. Across the street and into a coffee shop. I knew that Frank was following me but I didn't stop him.
The aroma of freshly ground coffee and baked goods hit me like a tidal wave. The lights were dimmed and I nearly knocked over an entire dark, stained table. I made my way across the brick floor to the back of the shop and took a seat, not even bothering to order something from the front.
"I'm sorry for your loss, by the way. I didn't have the chance to say that earlier." Frank nodded to me and sat in the chair opposite of me.
"Thank you." I looked down at my gloved fingers. I started smoothing out the crinkles of my black, lace dress. An awkward silence took over the table until I finally spoke up. "I'm sorry for that day in the diner. For hurting you."
"I'll be fine." Frank shrugged.
I placed my face in my hands and covered my eyes. I was so exhausted with life that I just wanted to give up now. I stayed like that for a few minutes until I felt a tap on the shoulder. I looked up to see my two all time favourite people in the world.
Tom and Samantha.
"Oh." That's all I said. Frank was still sitting across from me and he looked downright pissed.
"Er, we just wanted to say that we were sorry for your loss." Tom said, looking at his feet. I continued to stare at him, not knowing what to say. He placed a small, paper bag in front of me. "I brought you this."
A cookie. He brought me a cookie to make up for all the wrongs he's done in the world.
"Thanks." I sighed and politely chipped a piece off the cookie and popped it in my mouth. It tasted sweet.
"Uh, listen. About the... Thing. I just wanted to say that I was sorry for hurting you-"
"Tom, I honestly don't want to hear it. Not today." I sighed and chipped another piece off the cookie.
"But-"
"She said no." Frank snapped and glared at Tom. He crossed his arms across his chest and looked ready to kill if he needed to. Not that he needed to, he wasn't my friend anymore.
"I don't see where you came in and picked up the right to speak for her." Samantha sneered, defending her boyfriend.
Something felt funny in my mouth. My tongue was tingling and the feeling was spreading down my throat. At first, it didn't really bother me, but the tingling had quickly turned to a burning and I started to find it increasingly hard to breathe.
"She said so herself that she didn't want to talk to you. You lost the right to even look at her the second you shoved your tongue down each others throats." Frank snarled. "I think you should go now."
"What do you think, Vera?" Tom asked. It was the first time that any of them had even looked at me since they started to argue.
"Can't... Breathe..." I rasped, clasping my hands over my throat. My throat had swelled shut and my tongue was now doubled in size. I fell from the chair and onto my knees, clawing at my neck to get my breathing tube open.
"Vee?" Frank gasped and leaned down by my side with one hand on my back. He whipped around to Tom. "What the fuck did you do to her?" he growled.
"We didn't do anything! What's wrong with her?" Tom screeched but Sam was already calling an ambulance.
"A crowd had surrounded me as I was gasping for air that wasn't coming. Faint sirens sounded in the distant as I fell into Franks arms. Spit spilled from my open mouth because I couldn't swallow it and I could feel the energy slipping from my body.
"What the fuck was in that cookie?" Samantha screamed at what I assumed to be the baker.
"Uh, cinnamon, flour, milk, peanuts-"
"SHE'S FUCKING ALLERGIC TO PEANUTS!" Frank roared. Those were the last words I heard before my vision finally faded out.
[x]
"I'm glad you're awake, Miss. You had quite a scare there." a woman said the second I opened my eyes.
I was laying on an uncomfortable board thing in a cramped room. The floors and walls were shiny white with the only thing besides a chair in the corner and some medical supplies being my bed thing.
Suddenly, one of the walls opened up to reveal Frank standing there. Only then did I realize that I was in an ambulance. Judging by the familiar funeral home in the background, I hadn't even gone to the hospital.
"So what happened?" I asked, ignoring the new presence in the cramped space as Frank closed the doors and took a seat in the chair.
"There were peanuts in the cookies. You had an allergic reaction." Frank explained quickly. "Sam called an ambulance and they made it here just in time."
"There was no need to bring you to the E.R. We had everything right here and could treat you on the spot. Of course you're going to need to fill out some paperwork but other than that, you're free to go." the lady grinned.
"Um, okay." it was the only thing I could think of. And then the thought of the hospital bill came to mind. "Wait, do I have to pay for this?"
The lady chuckled, "unfortunately, it's $500 for the ambulance and some more for the medication and ultra sound."
"Oh." I nodded, "wait. What ultrasound?"
"We had to do an ultrasound to make sure that your baby was okay from the lack of oxygen. Don't worry, everything is just fine." she grinned. "Congratulations you two on becoming parents."
I froze and looked at Frank with worried eyes, "No, no, no, that's impossible. I was on birth control-"
"Have you taken any antibiotics around the time you had intercourse?" I slowly nodded. I had to take them for my car accident. "antibiotics and a few other medications will cancel out the effects of birth control."
...well this was news to me.
"B-b-but I took a pregnancy test! Two pregnancy tests! They came back negative!" I argued. There had to be some kind of mistake.
The lady shrugged, "There are a lot of reasons for false negative pregnancy tests. You could have done it wrong-"
"YOU PEE ON A FUCKING STICK! HOW HARD IS THAT?!" I screamed and the lady flinched.
"Miss, I can't tell you why your test was negative but I am 100% sure that you are pregnant. We took a blood test to confirm." she said, handing me a small square of paper. On it, was black, grey, and white blobs and dots.
It was an ultrasound picture.
I was pregnant and I had no idea whether it was Franks or Toms.