Purging Nightmare

I got home later that night, completely exhausted. Considering the day had gone from normal to terrible, I could understand why I wanted to punch my mom in the face when I came home to a party. She allowed people to smoke. When I stepped in through the front door, a billowing wall of smoke blind-sighted me and I coughed, if only from the sudden inhale of it into my lungs. No one seemed to notice as I shut the door.

There was moderately loud music and people chattering on the couches and in the kitchen. She had served the remainder of my leftovers, and then some of the assorted snacks that I had saved up money for. It irritated me. I rolled my eyes when I spotted her in the kitchen, laughing loudly with some of her "friends." Bypassing the kitchen was easy enough and I was on my way upstairs to avoid everyone there if that was possible. I slipped into my room and dropped my backpack down to the floor, flicking on my light and sighing at the fresh air flowing through my room. I'd left the windows open and the door closed, so secondhand smoke wasn't filtering into my abode through the vents or under the crack of the door.

Pepper was settled comfortably on my bed. She peaked her head up and scampered over to me, sniffing at my feet and climbing up my legs. I gave her a gentle few pets and went over to my bed, sitting down with a small groan and opening up my laptop to check on my social media. Nothing new popped up on any of my profiles. Nothing besides a small friend request. I frowned and tapped my mouse over the little button, expecting some kind of spam request from a weird girl from Switzerland, only to catch my breath a little at the name.

Gerard.

I stared at the request for a long time before cautiously hitting "Accept." For whatever reason, becoming his friend on social media seemed to make our friendship just a little more official. I clicked on his avatar and scrolled through his page. His picture, obviously taken by someone else, smiled back at me and I felt flustered. Jesus christ, get it together. I scanned through his random statuses about small art gatherings, local band shows, haircut appointments... very simple, normal things that made my cheeks flush. I hated being so weak and vulnerable, but it was all so adorable.

Pepper scooted her way into my lap and whined up at me, pawing at my chest. I looked down at her.

"What's up?" She stared at me with her big round orbs and whined again. "Whatchu want?" I asked her, as if she could reply, and she pawed at me again.

"Do you need to pee maybe? A walk? I can take you on a walk."

When she heard the word 'walk' she scrambled out of my lap and barked at me. She was practically glowing with doggy excitement.

"Okay, okay," I sighed. "But hold on a sec."

I turned back to my computer and was going to exit out of Gerard's page when someone messaged me. The notification popped up and I moved to exit out of it and go offline on the messenger, when I realized who it was. My heart skipped a beat and I opened the messenger window.

4:13 pm Gerard Way: hey

I stared at the small message for a little while before typing out my own response.

4:15 pm Frank Iero: Hi. What's up?

Okay. Okay, that went well. My hands were shaking. Why the fuck was I reacting this way, I'd slept in his room just a couple nights ago.

4:16 pm Gerard Way: a little worried. you?

4:16 pm Frank Iero: Worried about what? And not much, just got home.

4:18 pm Gerard Way: idk, you at school today. you looked horrible.

I stared at the screen, bewildered. Gerard was still worried about me? My heart beat a little too quickly and I swallowed a thick lump in my throat. My nose was sore and a rather bright blue color, and my stomach was uneasy. I had to eat food to settle it out, but with my mom downstairs running her party, it was nearly impossible to go without being caught.

4:22 pm Frank Iero: Hey, don't worry about it. I'm fine. Just a little scratch. Happens all the time.

4:22 pm Gerard Way: you sure?

4:23 pm Frank Iero: yeah. My dog needs a walk. Ugh, I'm hungry, though.

4:25 pm Gerard Way: why not go eat?

4:26 pm Frank Iero: Mom's downstairs with her group of party-ers, don't wanna disturb em

4:27 pm Gerard Way: i'd go anyway

I smiled and licked over my lips.

4:28 pm Frank Iero: Maybe I will. I'll talk to you later, yeah? xo

4:28 pm Gerard Way : aweh, alright. see ya later.

Was he genuinely disappointed that I had to go? It made me swoon, but feel nervous at the same exact time. Why was Gerard doing this?

I shut my laptop and looked down at Pepper, who was chewing at one of the toys she dragged up into my room. When I stood, she bounced up onto her feet and jumped at the door, barking like a mad dog out of hell. I silenced her and let her out of the room, walking out behind her and crinkling my nose at the smoke. They smoked different cigarettes from what I had, and the smell wasn't as appetizing. I stepped down and into the kitchen, sneaking over to the fridge and grabbing something small and hand held. I also grabbed Pepper's leash and tied her up, managing to slip my way out of the house without being noticed by my mom. Thank god.

I started eating my small amount of food and let Pepper lead the way around the neighborhood. She took a pit stop near a tree and took a dump. I waited a few minutes and ate all of my food before pulling out a bag from a small compartment in the leash and scooped it up. Tying a knot at the end of the bag was the hardest part, and we continued on down the sidewalk until I found a trash can and dropped it off.

We walked for another 45 minutes before I realized that we'd reached the park near the school. It was a dog friendly park; you could let your dog off the leash as long as they were trained to not run away. Pepper knew how to come when I called her, and heel when I told her to. I let her off of her leash and she scampered off to explore the park as I settled down in the swing I occupied two days ago.

The sun was warm, and I felt hot in my sweatshirt, but I pulled the sleeves down over my palms anyway. I still had to bring back Gerard's clothes and take my own clothes home. I kicked off using the woodchips and let myself swing for a little while. Pepper barked at something near one of the trees but I paid her no mind.

When I started to get bored of the swing and sitting around in the park, I whistled for her to come back over. She came running along and I took her by the collar, hooking the leash into the small loop and standing up. I stretched out my back and groaned at how nice it felt, before making my way to the entrance of the park. A set of people across the street from me made me stop.

Abraham, bouncing a basketball along the sidewalk, with Justin trailing behind him with a book. Oh, fuck. I stayed frozen and quickly pulled up the hood to my hoodie, leading Pepper in the opposite direction they were heading.

Please don't see it's me, please don't see it's me, please don't see it's me...

"Oh, hey, look who it is!"

The loud call made me freeze over. Fuck. I squeezed my eyes shut as I quickened my pace, but two sets of footsteps fell into step with me and an arm was slung around my shoulders.

"Well aren't you just the cutest little faggot with that black nose?" Justin teased. He poked his finger against my nose and I winced back, hissing at him.

"Leave me the fuck alone," the words were spat between my teeth and I pulled myself free from his grasp. I made to run away but Abraham grabbed my hoodie and tugged me back. The zipper caught around my neck and I stumbled back, choking and feeling the metal dig into my skin. I fell over onto my ass, hard, and nearly let go of Pepper as I let out a cry. The small Maltese started barked loudly at the two people attacking her master, until Justin tugged the leash out of my hand and had Abraham lift me by my hoodie.

"You leave her alone!" I screamed. A hand covered my mouth and my screams fell to deaf ears.

"Oh shut up. I won't hurt your dog. I'm not an animal abuser," Justin said, and I could practically sense the smirk on his face without even looking back at him. Abraham dragged me along back into the park and Justin stepped ahead, tying Pepper down to the pole of the swings. Abraham dragged me over to a tree and shoved me against the bark. He dragged my hands up and above my head as I struggled and I cried out again when he pressed against one of my cuts.

"Fuck, leave me alone!"

"Oh, shut up. Jesus." Justin came back over and set his hands on his hips. He watched me for a little while before a punch was swung into my stomach. I would've doubled over, if my arms weren't pulled over my head. All I could do was grunt and bite my tongue to keep myself from making a sound.

"You kinda got outta it well today, didn't you? Your little boyfriend come and save you?" Another punch landed into my eye and my head slammed back against the tree. The world spun around me and I groaned. Fuck. It hurt so badly, my eye would swell sooner than later.

"Stop," I managed to gasp softly. Justin smirked.

"Or what?" He pressed my head back against the tree. Abraham chuckled.

"Oh, look what I found," Abe said, and tugged down on my sleeves. I yelped and squirmed. No.

"Oh. Well looky here..." Justin said, as he traced a finger along my scars. No. No, no. I was petrified, my body going completely tense and my eyes practically springing up tears. No. This was a nightmare, this wasn't happening. I heard Pepper barking and my blood rushing into my head and face.

"Well, I think we did enough damage today, didn't we Abe?"

Justin pulled his hand away and Abraham dropped me. I slumped down against the tree and curled in around my stomach, my arms tucked in against my chest. I heard the sound of their feet scuffing the gravel as I slipped over and fell onto my side into the dirt and grass.

No. No. This wasn't happening.

No.

***

Barking. I heard barking. It was nearby. The air was cold and my face was pressed into something cold and moist. My stomach hurt, my face hurt, and I felt sick to my stomach. Where was I?

I opened my eyes--one eye, since the other was swollen shut--and stared into the dark. The park. I was still in the park, laying pathetically on my side next to the tree. Pepper was barking loudly and pulling on her leash, like she'd probably been doing for many hours. There was a screeching noise by the park entrance, but I was too emotionally dead to notice. I rolled up my sleeves when I had the chance to move, and felt the churn in my stomach worsen. They'd seen. They would spread the rumor across school.

Before my thoughts could continue, flashlights sprung into life in the darkness of the night. I winced when one shone on me and curled up more around my stomach. Whoever it was probably thought I was pathetic. They crouched down in front of me and I heard an unfamiliar voice speak into a radio. I didn't understand what he was saying, since I wasn't focused on his speech, but before I knew it I was being pulled up onto my unsteady feet and lead away. Pepper barked louder and I tried to look back, but they turned me back around and I whined.

"It'll be okay." I finally understood the voice. I didn't even attempt to peer up as I was led mindlessly into a car and settled down. Curling up against the seat, I closed my eyes as I felt a wet tongue lick along my hands and paws crawl up my chest and a nose sniff into my face. I wrapped my arms around Pepper and she settled against me, giving me small kisses along my cheek. I didn't know who had me in their car, or why. But I fell asleep there in the warmth of the car before I had a chance to think.

***

Everything was soft. And warm.

I was cradled into something comfortable and hot. There was an uncomfortable pinch in my arm, but besides that, I felt numb and engulfed in a nice heat. I peeled my eye open and peered up at a light blue wall. A sea shell photograph was framed and a TV was perched in the corner of the room attached to the ceiling, playing some kind of mindless sitcom. The volume was on low and I stared at it for a little while before my mind registered exactly what was going on.

There was an IV in my arm. I was dressed in a hospital robe and my arms were completely exposed. That fact almost made me panic before I realized that half of the wounds were dressed and some were even stitched.

What the fuck was going on? Was this a dream?

I peered up at the TV, trying to see if words evaded me like they tended to in dream land. I learned in school that people couldn't read words in dreams. When an advertisement flashed onto the scream and the numbers and letters were clear, I cursed myself. It wasn't a dream, or a horrible nightmare, I was actually caught in the hospital. At least I assumed that was where I was. I waited there for a few minutes, trying to decipher what the fuck had happened to get me there. When I came across a blank, I searched for the "call nurse" button and pressed it.

It only took a few minutes for a petite young lady in blue scrubs to come into the room. She had bright green eyes and dark brown hair, tied up in a bun on her head. Her name tag read "Emma" and I stared at her blankly as she closed the door.

"Anything I can do for you?" She asked. I licked over my lips.

"Where am I? What's going on?"

Emma blinked in surprise.

"You're in the Belleville Hospital. The police brought you in last night, you were passed out in the park..." she trailed off as I stared at her blankly. "Here, hold on a minute, okay?" She smiled at me and I continued to stare as she left the room.

In the park? I remember leaving my house, but the rest was a big blur.

It took a lot more than a minute for someone to return. The time passed quickly, though, because my mind was running in circles and the TV show was dulling out any of the pain in my head. Or maybe it was the morphine IV stabbed in my vein.

A man in a police uniform walked in. He had an official badge and a gun at his hip. The nurse stayed in the room as he stood next to my bed, and gave me a small smile.

"Hello, Frank," he said warmly, and I looked up at him. All right, he knew my name, but I didn't know his. I searched his figure for a name badge and found one. Tomas.

"Um, hi..." I said. I stayed silent and he pulled up a chair.

"I bet you have a lot of questions?"

"What the hell am I doing here?" The words came out of my mouth before I could stop them.

"Well, we found you last night. We got a call from a person in the neighborhood about a dog barking for hours in the park, so we went to check for a stray with animal control and something suspicious just in case. We found you passed out next to a tree, all beaten up. Your dog was tied up to the tree. We had to search your person to find out who you were, and we checked the dogs collar to make sure she was yours," he explained slowly as I tried to absorb the information. I remember taking Pepper for a walk, but the second half of the walk was a complete mystery.

"I don't... remember."

I frowned. I knew my memory had holes in it, but the holes never happened that recently. Tomas frowned as well and crossed his arms across his chest.

"But you were conscious when we found you."

"I was?" I asked blankly and he nodded.

"You were." He looked back at Emma, who came over.

"Frank... what do you remember from yesterday?" She asked, and I swallowed hard.

"Um. I went on a walk. And... I don't remember anything after that."

She took a quick note and set a hand on Thomas's shoulder. She indicated for him to leave, and the officer stood. I panicked.

"Wait. Wait, if you came to the park and you found me. Am I getting arrested?"

Tomas smiled and shook his head.

"No, you're here, right?"

Yeah. I was there. But what the fuck was going on?