You Are Not

Tay prodded Gustav for the third time, "Gustav, it's morning!"

"Mm..." Gustav agreed.

"I'm going to make breakfast and then we're going shopping, we're out of a lot of stuff and I need to buy a new hoodie."

"Mm..." Gustav repeated.

Tay was in her panda onesie with her hair in a messy braid. She got breakfast ready, put Gustav's in front of him and then took hers into her bedroom to get ready. Tay had always been a morning person, not liking to waste the day or drink in the evening and she liked to have company. Tay sighed looking at her unmade bed wishing Fraser was still spread out on it, he was almost the same size as Tay, he was skinny and not much taller than Tay and she had a lot of guys clothes or he could have borrowed something of Gustav's.

No. Tay told herself he couldn't have stayed, something might have happened between them, something had already happened but it could have been worse, they'd kissed once and Tay had put a stop to it. She was doing the right thing and she knew it but she really wanted Fraser to still be there and it hurt Tay not knowing where he was or when his next meal would be. She knew he could take care of himself but she secretly hoped they would walk into him while shopping, she was going to take Gustav down several different streets just so see if they could spot him, although she wouldn't know what to do if she spotted him, maybe just feel reassured he was okay.

Gustav walked down the street next to Tay eating his cold bacon sandwich, "That's probably gross and now you have to wait to clean your teeth and that's bad."

Gustav turned to Tay opening his mouth showing her his half chewed bite, "That's disgusting!" Tay blurted.

Gustav looked up to see a short, slightly round angry looking Asian who was shouting in a different language. Gustav and Tay followed the guy's gaze up to a window as a leather jacket landed on the gate next to them, Gus looked a Tay and smirked but she didn't seem to find it as amusing. The small man had floppy copper coloured hair and waved his arms at the window above him.

"Yo no estoy durmiendo con ella..." He yelled up at her, not even realizing Gustav and Tay slowing to watch. "Estaba durmiendo en la misma cama que su!"

Gustav smiled up but ducking as he walked past and a cushion flew out the window just missing the small man, Tay caught up with Gustav holding onto his arm.

"That lady looks mad," Tay observed.

"Funny right!"

"No - do you think that was Spanish?"

Gustav shrugged, "I really wanted that jacket though."

"His stuff is all over the pavement, maybe we should've helped him," Tay said looking back still holding Gustav's arm.

"Nah, I'm sure he's fine." Gustav smiled.

Tay decided they would look at clothes first and they walked into TopShop, Gustav went straight towards the pants but Tay grabbed his arm pulling him away before he reached them.

"Don't you like Snoopy pants?" laughed Gus.

"We're not here for pants!"

Tay walked towards the jumpers and hoodies while Gustav looked through the skimpy outfits whilst wearing a straw hat he'd taken from a display, Gus grinned as he looked through the clothes thinking Tay wouldn't be caught dead in any this. The dresses were so short there would be no point buying it, she'd might as well go out in a towel, a hand towel.

Tay joined Gus with a few items in her hands, "What are you even doing over here?"

Gustav laughed at her, "Just looking at our options."

"I have our options right here!" She beamed holding up some baggy jumpers.

"They not have your size?"

Tay frowned at Gustav turning and walking into the changing rooms, Gus walked around picking up some items he liked himself and then made himself comfy on a sofa just out side of Tay's cubical. Tay walked out in a jumper that looked like it had been mauled by bears and Gustav raised an eyebrow.

"No, my snot is prettier than that."

"GROSS!" Tay screamed, pulling the curtains but dramatically.

The next outfit she walked out in was white playsuit with little pink bunnies on it, she did a twirl and her curly bouncy hair fell over her face.

"Aw, cute." Gustav smiled, "I don't think I've ever seen you dressed like a girl before."

"Can you be nice?"

"Kind of was." Gustav shrugged.

Tay ended up buying more than she'd planned and Gustav had been some of the cause, since he went around looking for more outfits twice. Tay brought a playsuit, a new hoodie, a jumper and a pair of shorts, she also ended up buying Gustav the straw hat he'd wore all around the store and then refused to take it off like a naughty child. Although Tay did think it suited him.

"What's next?" Gustav asked.

Tay decided it was best to go for lunch before the big food shop but as they walked past the salon Tay couldn't help but wander in. She had her hair chopped shorter and a fringe cut in and all her dip dye was gone, Gus sat in the chair next to her spinning and reading girly magazines and Tay couldn't help but think, that was her gay best friend sat next to her.

She kind of liked the idea of Gus and Andy but in reality it was never going to happen, besides it hadn't ended in the best way possible. But Tay should have expected that from Gus, he wasn't the best in these situations or any situation.

"So who's the new look for Tay?" Gustav teased.

"ME," Tay snapped.

"Ok-ay." Gustav smirked, "What time did Fraser go last night?"

Tay shrugged, "I don't know..."

"What are you going to say to John?"

"I don't even know, what can I say? Sorry John but I sort of fancy your brother but can't do anything about it because we're still together?"

"You and Fraser..." Gustav raised his eyebrows.

"We didn't do anything."

"But you wanted to!"

Tay sighed, they both knew it was true but she shook her head, was she being stupid? She'd spent two nights with Fraser and she already wanted to jump his bones, she shook her head again thinking maybe this was all just really stupid and she wouldn't break up with John but they'd only be stronger and Fraser would be out of the picture.

Tay thought she'd see John that evening and maybe they could work everything out, she couldn't like Fraser, she didn't know him. Tay knew John and she wanted to be with him, otherwise she wouldn't have got with him in the first place obviously they have something.

"I don't think I'm going to dump John," Tay mumbled as if forcing the words out.

"I don't really understand what you're doing Tay."

Nether do I. Tay thought to herself and maybe Gustav didn't need to know about her feelings, she knew he never really cared about this stuff, his mind always seemed to be on another planet and they've left a lifeless Gustav on earth.

They walked into a small cafe where Gustav went and found them a seat lumping Tay's shopping bags on a spare chair and opening a menu. Tay went to order drinks and Gustav sighed, he didn't mind shopping with Tay but when she planned his whole day he felt like time couldn't get any slower. He put his head back and placed his new hat on his face, he let out a sigh thinking his day might be slow but he loved Tay and she would spend every day with him if she could and he hardly ever took the time for her. The time she deserved, Tay was a beautiful person and Gus thought to himself I wouldn't change a thing.

"Hello again."

Gustav looked up to see a small girl with a big smile, "Mae." He smiled back.

"You didn't like the blonde."

"Actually my ex-" Gustav cut off knowing he was about to say his ex-girlfriend didn't like it but his thoughts had flicked to Andy running his fingers through Gustav's hair and them smoothing his forehead.

Mae raised her eyebrows, "Did your brain stop?" She mocked.

"What- No." Gustav thought back to Andy talking about his features and how he could pull off anything and then Gus had spent the day in a stupid straw hat.

Mae took a seat opposite him watching him think, waiting for him to return to life.

Tay placed two drinks on the table, "Can I help you?"

"I was talking to Gustav, my name is Mae. We met in London." She smiled standing and letting Tay have her seat back.

"Gustav," Tay snapped.

"Mm.."

"Never mind..." Mae smiled.

"Wait, join us." Gustav nodded.

"I'm here with a friend." Mae smiled, "But thanks."

"Your friend not want to join us?"

Mae brought her friend over which was a guy who carried all their shopping over, by looking at him Gus found it hard to judge if he was gay or not. Then again just because he's shopping with his friend that's a girl it didn't mean to say he was gay. The guy was kind of funny looking, Gus hadn't met a funny looking gays before but then again he hadn't really met any gays unless he counted Andy.

Mae's friend had funny hair, he wore a black polo shirt and skinny jeans, he had trendy sunglasses on and a warming smile. They brought some extra seats over, everyone ordered and they sat explaining how Gus and Mae met and then Mae went on to talking about Ben -his name was Ben- being one of her brother's friends from the UK and how they thought they'd caught up before Mae left for America.

Gustav asked Mae all about America and if she had any plans for when she got back home and she explained that she had just found out that she's pregnant and her boyfriend didn't know yet and she was worried about breaking the news. Gustav was so pleased that they hadn't slept together and then he turned to Mae asking about her age and it turns out she's not as young as he thought but still pregnant at twenty.

Gustav liked Ben; he cracked a lot of jokes and kept the conversations light.

"What are you hoping for, boy or girl?" Tay asked.

"A little girl I think and I want to name her after my best friend but that's looking way too far into it." She turned and smiled at Ben who gave her a reassuring squeeze on the shoulder.

"How do you think your boyfriend will react?" Tay looked excited even though they might not meet again. Tay shook her head thinking she was meeting people that where just slipping through her fingers and disappearing from her life.

"He... We've been fighting a lot actually and I decided I'd go to Download with Jack, my brother to get away from it for a week and we're flying back tomorrow. I don't really know if he'll even be waiting for me when I get back or no." Mae shrugged, shooting them a small lopsided smile.

"It was really nice running into you again." Gustav smiled, "And Ben we should hang out some time, my friend John would really like you."

"Yeah man, that would be awesome."

The lads exchanged numbers and Mae gave Gustav an address so they could write to each other as she wasn't the biggest fan of e-mail. Gustav enjoyed talking to Mae, she surprised him, when the first met she gave him all this bull about no friends etc, and there she sat in front of them with a friend and pregnant. Her life was far from dull that was for sure.

Gus was tempted to ask her if she knew Andy but what would he say? Because I shagged him this one time or I saw him live twice? Whatever, he thought, it would sound lame or he'd have to explain himself and he didn't want to explain anything.

Tay and Gustav spent an hour filling the trolley with the essentials and wondering around before heading home with all the bags, they jumped on a bus so they didn't have to carry everything back. Tay's heart stopped as if time was standing still, she watched in slow motion, Fraser was stood outside his little broken down red Nissan and he was getting a ticket. Could he even afford a ticket? thought Tay. She wanted to run over; there was an explanation but instead time caught up with her and in a flash Fraser was out of sight again.