You Are Not

Gus stepped off the train in London at Charring Cross station and heading for the nearest hotel, five star comfort that’s what he was after and that’s what he was going to get. He didn't have to walk far to find what he was looking for, three hundred and ten pound for one night, five stars, fancy chandeliers, blue suede chairs sitting perfectly in a row at the bar that had glass shelves.

The hotel Corinthia is what it was called and it was like looking at the most exquisite piece of artwork and Gus knew he looked as out of place as a rubber duck in a sea of swans but this is what he needed. He want to have a shower in only the best power showers, shiny gold handle and gold inside and then straight after jump into a bath full of bubbles, what would be better after being covered in mud and rain.

He walked up to the front desk and asked for a room for one night, just him and the lady behind the counter looked him up and down then back at her computer screen, “We have a penthouse suite,” she said smirking thinking she was mocking him that he couldn't afford it but he wasn't going to take it.

“Perfect, do you need me to pay now or tomorrow?” he replied smirking back at her.

“I need your card details now and your money will go out in the morning.”

“No I need to pay in cash.”

The receptionist huffed and thought he was either a drug dealer or he’s stolen the money, wearing his back pack she knew he definitely didn't have a home around here if anywhere.

“Look I’m going to be straight with you here, the type of people that stay here over spend and only expect the best they do not expect to be offered to buy or take any drugs, for things to go missing or a loud full of bad attitude individual. So maybe you should think about going somewhere else.”

“I don’t take drugs and I’m not a thief, I've come from a festival and need somewhere to stay now I’d like to pay in cash please.”

The woman took Gustav money and booked him in, she then called Ben over –whoever that was- to show Gustav to his room, and Ben took Gustav’s bags for him and pressed the buzzer for the lift.

"What festival did you go to?" Ben asked.

"Download." Gus answer bluntly not looking at the guy.

"Nice." Ben nodded.

They took the lift in silence to the top floor and as the doors pinged open they could here an argument so much for Gus causing problems, a door slammed and a young blonde almost slammed into Gus. They smiled at each other said nothing and Gus followed Ben to his room, Gus turned to see her watching which room he would be in and he grinned, quickly turning away from her. Her checks turned pink and she pressed for the lift again standing back trying not to watch him. Gus thanked Ben and took his keys shutting and locking the door behind him.

Gustav filled the bath with water and threw his clothes in it, one way or another he wanted them clean, he then pulled off his mucky converse and put them in the bin, he got tooth paste and tooth brush out and started to clean his teeth. Clicked the TV on and flicked through the channels ending up with leaving a radio channel on low for some background noise.

Gus showered for a while finished the bottle of shower gel and using up and soap that was left there, he combed his hair back and called the hotel reception from his phone upstairs inquiring about anywhere he could get a suit delivered to him rather than going out in his towel and no shoes. She gave him someone to call and suggested a make for him; she also suggested the hotel salon which he had no interest in although he did feel like a change. Looking like a new man felt like a good idea. But first a suit because tonight he was going out.

Gus sat in the salon wearing his navy blue shirt, black blazer, black trousers and black tie up boots; he frowned in the mirror, “What do you suggest?” Asked Gus, “I just don’t want to look like me.”

“Blonde, you have blue eyes then you’ll be a right cliché blonde hair and blue eyes.” Said the young
girl next to him.

“I sow you in the lift didn't I?” Gus smiled to himself trying to to look like a total loser.

“I don’t know did you?” she smiled not looking up from her magazine.

“Blonde it is but I don't want it cut short or anything.” Gus smiled at the young girl sat under a hood dryer with a new colour on her head.

She had a soft face, pretty in a unique way, sharp hazel eyes; smooth thin lips that made you feel safe when she smiled. Short about 5”1 or 5”3 at the most, slim figure with big boobs for a smaller girl too but her face was so charming that’s all Gus wanted to look at. “You didn't want the blonde anymore then?” he asked.

“No it was nice but I just don’t want to be fake.”

“Am I fake?”

“I don’t know you.”

“Would you like to?”

“Know you?”

“My name is Gustav.”

“Unusual.”

The girl smiled and looked up at him, she didn't like to let people in and she most certainly wasn't going to let a stranger know anything about her. It didn't mean she was going to be rude because she was a rude person.

Her hair was washed before Gustav’s and she returned to her seat with dark red hair, it was combed through and then chopped short like a pixie crop except the front hung just over her eye’s and once it was dry it bounced up with the natural curl in her hair and she looked amazing, she was so cute. She turns to Gustav and looked at him with a smile, “You’re watching me.”

“Yes, you look amazing but why red?”

“It as close to my natural colour as I could get right now, what do you think?”

“Beautiful.”

Gus thought he might of sounded like an idiot but he didn't care. She smiled at him but it was his checks that turned pink, then he looked away his girlfriend had fake red hair well way more ginger then the girl next to him. And Emma was something that was definitely fake and anyone could see that.

She stood up when she was done and reapplied her lip gloss, Gus didn't hide the fact he was watching her, “What are you doing tonight?” he asked her.

She took a flyer out of her brown paper boy handbag and gave it to him then walked away with looking back. She was so sweet in her peach coloured pock a dot playsuit. She handed the receptionist her credit card and brought some products too, chatting away to the stylist and looking in the mirror one last time pushed her hair out of her eyes and smiled at Gus again before collecting her bag and card then she was gone.

Gus looked at the card, not what he thought it would be but it was a rave night with glow sticks and extra double shots on offer. The sort of place crazy people would love but why her?

Gus wasn't going to a rave night in a suit, he entered the nearest clothing shop grabbed a few cheap t-shirts with prints on, skinny jeans and blacks vans. Everything that was on offer as he was beginning to run low on money but he’d be home tomorrow if he could afford to get there that was.

He pulled on a grey teen wolf t-shirt played around with his new hair then changed his bottoms again. Brushed his teeth once more and took his mobile off charge, he had a few message’s from Tay but nothing from Em. He opened his wallet and took a load of cash out and put in his pocket then went
out for a kebab before looking for the club.

He stood in the shop eating his kebab watching London pass by, he wondered what London’s nightlife would be like and how he was going to find her and then if he did he didn't even know what her name was. He typed the post code into his phone hoping it will help him find the way a taxi is the easy way but when you’re low on money its best to walk. He didn't think he was going far tonight but boy he was wrong.

Once in the club he went straight to the bar and brought himself two drinks and downing one on the spot. He took the next drink and began to drink it, “You made it.” She smiled at him.

Mm… he nodded finishing his drink, “What’s your name?”

She shook her head at him and took his hand, they walked onto the dance floor and she danced with him. They danced together and took a shot every time the shot girl came over and they’d end up having a few every time. He brought them a few rounds of drink but every time he asked her a question she’d change the subject. She asked him where his girlfriend was and he just told her there was no girlfriend eventually he asked her why she wouldn't tell him anything and she answered simply, “If I want you to know something I will tell you.”

He found her very interesting and although she wouldn't tell him much she also happened to want to know stuff about him. Why he was in London where he was going and why he wanted to see her again. She took him she doesn't have friends. Gus didn't know how he’d manage without his friends.

She told him because she’s never had them she doesn't feel like she’s missing out but one day she wants friends but not just anyone and they’d have to be best friends the type of friends that you could wear your heart on your sleeve around. She’d never go cry to anyone so she didn't know what that was like either.

A tall boy grabbed her arm and took her outside, “I told you not to come back here.”

“I don’t do as you say.” She snapped at the boy.

Gus stepped outside and looking from one to the other, “Who is this?” the boy gestured towards Gus.

“Gustav, why you don’t want him in there either or is he allowed?”

“Come on… you know I hate arguing with you.”

“Then stop telling me what to do.”

“Remember what happened in here? Do you? Because I don’t want you hurt again, I just want you safe.”

She took Gustav’s arm held his hand and started walking down the street, Gus thought she looked amazing in the light, her hair shone, she wore a leather jacket with a floral patterned short dress underneath. She was also in boots up to her knees. “Who was that?”

“My brother.”

“Do you both live here?”

“Would I be in a hotel if I lived here?”

They walked for a little while and then she let go of his hand and walked into a store, “ you've got money right?” she smiled at him.

He nodded and she took a few bottles from the shelves and placed them on the counter, she also put a bag of cheesy crisps on the counter and pulled Gus to the counter.

Gustav paid for her drink and snack and they walked to convent garden to sit in the park. He knew she didn't know what she was doing so he stopped her in her path and redirected her to towards the hotel. He took her up to his room where they continued to drink, she took her boots off and led on his bed, he joined her and turned the TV on not even looking at what popped up on the screen. It was her turn to watch him this time, he didn't know what she wanted but he had a feeling that this would be the last time he’d ever see her. She was younger than him but not by much a fair few years and yet she still didn't have those best friends. He would love to be her friend but he knew she didn't want that. She leaned forward and kissed him lightly.

They sat on the floor together with much less clothes on playing snakes and ladders while taking a shot with every snake they slide down which became funnier with every shot. The girl was the first to give which ended up with her head down the toilet emptying her bowels.

Gus wiped her face over with a cold flannel and carried her over to the bed; he kissed her forehead and turned off the TV then lowered the lights.

“Sleep with me.” She said softly.

His heart started to race and he just stood not knowing what to do, he thought she might fall asleep before he moved again but instead she lifted the quilt. He slid into the bed next to her and she looked up at him waiting for him to do something, “Mae, my name is Mae.”

Gus kissed her and she whispered for him to turn out the lights.