Tied Together With a Smile

Lots of people thought I was perfect.
They thought I had everything, that I was a perfect little angel.
And to them, I was.
My parents were extremely rich, and I had everything I could ever want, on the outside.
But inside I was different.
I wasn't happy with my life, I wasn't cheery and smiley all the time like I portrayed.
That Wasnt me. It was an act I put on every single day just to fit in. It was what I did to be 'popular' to stay the perfect person everyone thinks I am.
But inside Im broken.
Nobody ever listenes to me, or what I want. I would be facing an arranged merrige in less than a year, and nobody listened to the fact that I didn't even want to be merried. Nobody listened to the fact that I wanted to go to Juliard, because I was forced to go to Yale instead.
Nobody cared what I wanted because they just assumed they knew best. And of corse, I did nothing to stop them from doing so. I didn't want any yelling and fighting- I'd had enough of that when I was younger. So, to keep the peace I just agreed with everyone. I told them what they wanted to know, I did whatever anyone told me, and anything someone said I had to do, I did it.
And that was me.
Eleanor Marie.
I didn't like who I was.
I always dreamed of being the type of girl who is cool because she can speak up for herself, and mean it. Who is well spoken and beautiful and charming.
I mean, I was all that to everyone else, but I hated myself on the inside, because that's not what I was.
And of corse, all the guys would willingly date me, but there was one person who wouldn't, and logically he was who I wanted.
Mason.
He was a junior, and I was a senior, so I couldn't tell anyone. Everyone would think its weird that I like a younger guy. But he is the cutest, nicest, most amazing guy ever. Not to mention he plays hockey.
But he thought I was a diva. Big time.
Everyone else thought I was miss. congeniality, of corse I tried to be, but he thought he could see straight through me, and it scared me to think... What If he knew who I really was... How broken and torn apart I was, trying to live like this.
I knew at some point I would probably have some sort of mental breakdown. I couldn't live like this forever, being who I wasn't. It was difficult as it was and I didn't know how much longer I could take this.
Little did I know, it Wasnt as long as I thought.