Bloodshot Eyes

I push open the door to the Bridgend Community Center, my gymnastics bag swinging around my hips like it wants to get away.

I feel like that bag right now.

It’s early, an hour and a half before my class is due to start. I could easily be asleep snuggled up in a nice warm bed like my sisters are, but I’m dedicated to being the best I possibly can be. And if that means loosing an hour of sleep then that’s what I’ll do.

I walk slowly, counting my steps as I climb up the stairs to the room used for dance classes and gymnastics. My coach, Miss Liston says I can use it any time I want, all of us seniors can, but I’m the only one who ever does.

I suppose the others in my group fancy the idea of sleeping more than doing countless warm up exercises and spinning around from bar to bar. I however, thrive from the knowledge that I have more willpower than them, than my sisters too.

Ballet classes must have just finished, because the dressing room and the actual practice room they use is laced with little girls, hair pulled into pretty little plaited buns, in sparkling pink tutu’s and chalk white tights running around, laughing and smiling. There are a few in the corner by the vending machine too, their mothers standing beside them, waiting to buy their kids a little after class treat.

I used to be like them, I was the best ballerina in my class. I got distinctions in every exam I had, always danced center stage. I remember our old dance teacher asking the class why everyone couldn't dance like I did.

I remember the way my sister, Lily, would roll her eyes and stick her tongue out at me, and the way that would make the whole class burst out into a round of hysterics as soon as the teacher turned her back.

You see my sister took dancing extremely seriously, she was dead set on becoming a professional ballerina when she grew up. But my mother forced me to take the classes with her, although I did enjoy dancing, I never thought of it seriously, for me it was just a hobby.

My sister despised the way I could get praise for something I hardly had any interest in while she had to work her ass off to even get so much as a 'well done.' She soon turned cold to me when we danced, I couldn't bear the thought of falling out with her over something so silly, so I stopped, took up gymnastics.

And you know something, I’m thankful that my sister was jealous of me when we were younger, because I might not have took it up if we got along perfectly...

Now a days, my little sister and I are the best of friends. Actually the three of us sisters are the best of friends. Lily, Robin and myself, Amy. I guess that’s what happens when your family fucks up like ours did. You grow closer to one another... that can only be a good thing, right?

'Hey Amy, you're here early this morning!' One of my best friends, Amelia says to me as she dumps her bag into the changing room and joins me on the floor where I am doing some split stretches.

'Y'know... exams start soon so I'm just putting in extra to make up for it.' I shrug pushing myself up from the floor and getting myself set up on one of the beams in the middle of the room.

'I guess I should try and do that too, I wonder who that guest will be next week... any chances it'll be some big buff guy?' She winks at me as I back flip myself onto the floor again and follow her over to the uneven bars.

'I highly doubt it.' I giggle as I give her a boost up onto the highest bar and chalk up my hands before following suit on the set of bars next to her.

When our family fell to pieces, gymnastics was what helped me through it. I used to work my anger out by flipping myself around on a beam, vaulting myself high into the air, doing back flips and front walkovers, along with everything else I could think of. I met Amelia shortly after I turned nine, her parents were going through the same things as my own were, so I guess it made us bond a little stronger than we did with others in our classes.

Dance is what helped my sister, she too worked her anger out. She’d spent hours twirling around like some famous ballerina from the television. She could move effortlessly, I've always been jealous of that, but I've never told her, wouldn't want her to get big headed now would we…

Our parents split up just after I turned eight, we had known they had been arguing, but just not the extent it had gotten to. Our dad moved to Manchester just three days after we found out how bad things had gotten between them.

My younger sister, Kelly, completely flew off the handle. She blamed our mum for everything that happened. Said that it was all her fault, she alone was the sole reason our mother broke down right in front of us. Every single day Kelly would have a new string of insults ready to launch at our mother.

She was sent up to Manchester to live with our father, but three weeks later she returned home in bits. He too had had enough of her, proved that he was just as heartless and as much of a bastard as my mother thought.

Now ten years later, he lives in France with his new family, we get cards on our birthdays and at Christmas plus we have promised to Skype once every two months.

Needless to say, Kelly is absent for those video chats, I would be too if it wasn't for my mother begging me to be there.

‘Alright ladies! Places please, I trust you have all warmed up?’ Our coach, Miss Liston, shouts from where she is standing in the middle of the room, interrupting the stretches and chatting sessions happening all around me.

I have already been practicing for at least an hour now. I need to, my final school exams start next week, so I’ll miss out on most of my practices for two full weeks. Plus, it’s an escape from the hecticness of my home.

You see my family run a day care center, so my house if full of little children day in day out. And if that wasn't bad enough, we have a small B&B set up, but I’m not complaining really, I get money from working there, and tips from the people who stay. I get to talk to people who come from all around the world too, which helps me figure out what kind of countries I’d like to visit in the future.

Unlike the rest of my family, I don’t plan on staying in Wales forever. I want to make more of my life, see the world, have fun, then when the time is right, I’ll come back here. Settle down, have a family... but I’m nowhere near ready to do that yet.

'That was a tough one eh? She's getting harder on us this month!' Amelia is saying to me as she wipes her brow free of sweat. It's true, this session has been harder than any one we've done this week, but I know that the harder I push myself the better I'll get, something that doesn't quite seem to click with anyone else here.

Once my class is over it is nearly one o’clock. I know I should really get home and help out, there’s supposed to be a group of Australians booking in later today, but I've promised Matt that I’d meet him after my class and his band practices were over.

One thing I cannot and will not do, is break promises. That’s the one trait I look for in people, if you break promises, I will not associate myself with you. My life has been full of promises that have fallen through, and I will not leave myself open to anymore.

‘Amy, could I have a word?’ Miss Liston is asking me as I make my way to the dressing room. I stop in my tracks and turn around giving her a small smile, she is one person I will always have time for, no matter how much of a rush I'm in.

‘Of course.’ I say walking back over to where she is standing in the middle of the room, back perfectly straight while her arms are arched and tucked neatly across her chest. I wish my posture was as good as hers...

‘Listen, you know how I told you girls that there will be a guest here for Fridays practice? Well it won’t just be some guest.' She says a smile playing on her lips.

'I've invited Octavia Turk to come and see you all preform. She’s looking for a few students to receive scholarships for her school of gymnastics over in Sweden.' She continues as my jaw practically hit's the floor. ' I’m telling you this because I know you will have a stressful time studying, but I think you’d be the perfect person to go, please, do your best when she’s here.’ She says before giving me a quick hug before walking back into her office in the corner of the room.

Octavia Turk. I can’t believe it, I've looked up to that woman for so long, to even meet her would be an honor, but to get to preform and even get the chance to get a place in her school is something I have never even dreamed of…