Me and You Against the World

I slowly made my way back home in the pouring rain. I was freezing cold but between school and home the ten minute walk was one of the few reality escapes I had. As I was walking I noticed the people in the cars driving past and the sympathetic looks I was receiving, one guy even stopped and offered me a ride home. It took me a while to convince him that my house was just at the end of the street and I would be fine to walk the rest of the way but he finally gave in and I was more then happy to see him drive away.

By the time I arrived on the doorstep of my house I was dripping wet, even my socks had managed to get soaked from the rain, but I didn't mind, it was worth it. I went up stairs to take a nice, warm shower and get changed. I dumped my bag on my bed and headed for the bathroom across the hall.

As I began peeling off each wet, gripping layer, one by one the marks, the scars that I had hid from the world were revealed. I softly touched a fresh bruise from the night before and winced at the pain.

Keith, my mum's boyfriend had come home late last night just as I was going to bed. He had been out drinking so naturally he was in a bad mood and was looking for someone to blame. I almost made it to the safety of my room before he spotted me.

After another drunken lecture about being ungrateful and a failure he pinned me against a wall and began punching me in the stomach and back, anywhere where nobody would see the marks. The whole time I was wishing that this time would be it, he'd finally get sick of beating me and just end my suffering.

I stood there in front of the mirror. I didn't even recognize the person I was looking at, the cold lifeless eyes staring back at me. I hated what I had become and the people that made me this way. The worst part was knowing that I'm just as much to blame as the others, I'd be lying if I said I was a victim in all this. I wish someone could save me from this nightmare I have become.

I turned on the water and stepped into the shower. I closed my eyes and tilted my head back, letting the water run over my face and down my chest. For a moment I thought about how pathetic my little life was and how easy it would be to just end it all. I reached up to the ledge of the shower and picked up the razorblade I had placed there when things first started going bad in my life. I thought about a time when things were better and laughed at the naive person I used to be, I used to think that maybe it was all just a bad dream that I was going to wake up from and everything would be back to the way things were when dad was still around. I know now that he isn't coming back.

Pressing the blade down on my wrist I noticed that the cold steel was strangely comforting as I slowly drew it across my already scarred skin. I watched the crimson droplets run down my arm before being washed away. It was almost beautiful the way blood spilled from the fresh cut.

After cutting a few more times I placed the blade back onto the shower ledge and I began to relaxed a little, it seemed so easy to forget reality I was living in, but it was impossible to escape it. I ran my fingers through my hair and let out a sigh of relief as the end of another day was approaching and for one brief moment, I felt safe.