You've Made Me Stronger

I told Nick about everything that night as we laid in bed, and it took a lot of work to calm him down once I told him about Jeremy's raping me. I didn't blame him, I would probably lose it if another woman touched him. But for Nick, another man not only touched and hurt me, he touched and hurt our children.
"How can you be so calm?" He asked me. "It's your body."
I sighed and pinched the bridge of my nose.
"I made it so he didn't hurt me. That was my main concern, keeping these babies safe. They're safe, I'm safe, he's in prison... It's done. Please don't stress yourself out over it," I pleaded. He let out a fast breath.
"I know, I know... I'm just, I'm sick of people going after you. Everywhere I turn there's someone willing to harass you, or hurt you. And I can't help but feel like its my fault. The paparazzi, the robber-" I put my fingers on his lips to stop him and glared.
"Stop it, it's not your fault that I bring the worst out in people. I attract trouble like a moth to a flame," I stated.
"You attracted me..." He whispered, his implication clear. I frowned deeply before crawling closer to him and getting up on my knees to wrap my arms around his neck as he sat crossed legged. I straddled his lap and placed a kiss behind his ear.
"And it's the best thing that's ever happened to me." I leaned back and lifted his chin so he would look me in the face and smiled softly. "You're my hero."
He sighed but then relaxed, a smile lifting up the corners of his mouth. I ran my fingers down his cheek and gave him a gentle kiss.
"Is that what you worried about all these times?" I asked. He shrugged his shoulders.
"Partly, but I also hate seeing you come so close to really being hurt, and then the baby... It wouldn't have happened if it wasn't for me." He adverted his eyes, but I tugged on his chin so he would look at me again.
"Nick... You're the best thing that's ever happened to me, and honestly... I thought the same thing for you. I thought I was messing up your life. Your career, with all the bad publicity about us... Being so crushed over the baby. None of that stress would be around you if I hadn't come along," I informed him. To my surprise, Nick chuckled. He wrapped his arms around my waist and kissed the area between my furrowed eyebrows.
"If only you knew how wrong you were," he stated before moving his lips to my nose. "You make my life complete." He kissed the left corner of my mouth. "I'd be nothing without you." And then the right corner. "I love you more than anything." And here he grabbed my lips with his and kissed me passionately. By the time he pulled away, I was completely dazed. I had trouble opening my eyes for a moment, but when I did, I was staring into his chocolate brown eyes. I almost gasped at the sight. They were literally dancing, dancing with love, love for me, and it was amazing. I grabbed his face and pulled it back down to mine, moved my hand to grasp the hair at the back of his neck and slipped my tongue into his mouth. His hands roamed up and down my back and sides, his tongue moved with mine. I moaned and moved my hips against him, causing him to gasp. He grabbed my hips and lifted me as he got onto his knees before laying me down on my back and leaning down over me. I wrapped my legs around his torso and my arms around his neck to pull him as close to me as possible.
"I love you, Nick," I murmured. He captured my lips and kissed me hard, passionate, and it caused me to begin to wiggle beneath him. He took his lips away and reared up over me. As he looked down at me, his hands moving up and down the outside of my thighs, I continued to wiggle in anticipation. I needed him inside of me, his hands on my body, his lips on mine and his tongue in my mouth. I needed to feel his breath on my skin as he whispered words of love and passion to me. I needed as much of him as I could. I needed him to wash away the past day and night. I needed him to remove all remnants of Jeremy from my body and mind. But something in Nick's eyes changed as he looked down at me. The heat left them, and the fire just completely seemed to burn out in his body. I watched it happen right in front of me, so I quickly sat up and placed my hand on his chest to pull him out of whatever thoughts he was in.
"What's wrong?" I whispered. He looked me in the eye for a moment, but then lowered his head in what looked like shame.
"Nick?" I tried again. He shook his head and took in a deep breath.
"I keep thinking of him, doing this to you. Doing what we do. It's killing me." He couldn't look me in the eye, and that was killing me.
I brought my legs back and got up on my knees to get on his level before resting my head on his.
"Nick... You know what he said to me while he was pinning me down beneath him?" I asked. Nick's head came up, causing me to lean back, and his eyes shot up to my face. He looked surprised at my blatant mention of the incident, but slowly shook his head in answering so I would continue. I ran my fingers up and down the middle of his chest in an attempt to soothe him. I loved the feeling of his muscular chest under his black undershirt, and I had to bite my lip to stop myself from attacking him. I swallowed hard before continuing in a weak voice as the memory ran through my mind. It was still so fresh, for it had only happened about six hours ago.
"He told me he was going to claim me, make me his again, and there was nothing I could do about it." I looked directly into Nick's eyes, which were wide with surprise and anger. His grip tightened on my thighs, and I continued quickly before he lost it and the mention of this horrid memory to him became meaningless. "I want you to take your claim back. I need you to," I whispered.
I know it sounded a little animalistic, but deep down, I believe we're all animals in some way or another. Men want to claim their property, and make sure every other man knows it, and women want their man to do so. No matter what any feminist says, if they meet a man they really are crazy for, they want that man to be just as crazy for them, and to become an animal over her. They want it. Need it. Just like I needed it now.
Nick examined my features for a moment, and seemingly seeing the desperation on my face, suddenly attacked me.
And for the rest of the night, he made me his again.