Xerox Emotions

"You may see him now but I must warn you, he doesn’t look very good, you might not want your child to see him that way." A doctor said. "What way? Just let me see him, please." I replied. "Mrs. Warner, I must advise, even you may not want to see your husband this way." "Please!" I begged. "Mrs. Warner, he is not expected to the morning, the accident was very bad." He urged. Ok, but please, it’s Christmas can I just see him?" He sighed and opened the door. "Brian!" I exclaimed. There he lay in the hospital bed, not unlike my ex boyfriend Thomas just before he died. All of those horrid memories came flooding back: the shooting, losing my boyfriend, being all alone. Everything. Brian Warner-Marilyn Manson, my husband, the love of my life, lay before me on his deathbed, His face was bloody, runny makeup, bruised and swollen. Limbs mangled, his body deformed, sleek black hair disheveled and dirty. His overall body was wrapped in many different splints, all of which were beginning to bleed through. His monitors didn’t look well, 45 beats per minute and there was a whishing of his breathing through the oxygen tubes. I immediately started to cry. "Brian!" I exclaimed, going toward him. "Rhiannon, Marilyn. He breathed. It hit me that I was going to lose him, there was no use begging him to stay because I understood there was nothing he could do to decide his fate, I learned that from when I lost Thomas. "Let me see my daughter." He whispered. "I handed Mary to him. "Hey, Mary, how’s daddy’s little girl?" She cooed and moved her tiny hands around. "Rhiannon, come here." Brian ordered. I bent down and he put his mangled bloody hand over mine. "I love you, you’ll always be my deadly doll." "Brian, I love you too!" I responded. "Marilyn, daddy loves you, he’ll see you again someday." Manson said, kissing her on the cheek. There was a scoffing of shoes, it was Twiggy in the doorway. "Twiggy, my best friend, can you make me a promise?" Manson asked. "Anything, Brian." "Promise me you will take care of my family, only the best for my girls. My beautiful wife and daughter." Manson commanded. "I promise, Brian." Jeordie sad with a sympathetic look. Marilyn looked into her father’s eyes and it seemed to be that something clicked, it was almost as if she too could sense he was dying. "Rhiannon, I love you very much, the time I have spent with you has been the happiest time of my life." "I love you too, Brian, you made all my dreams come true." I said, my hand over his. It was obvious that breathing was hard for him; he forced his chest to slowly rise and then fall. "I wuv you, dada." Marilyn said. Brian gave a weak smile. "Daddy loves you too, honey." He said. "I'm glad I get to hear her first words." He said, wincing in pain. I began to cry. "I will be with you always." He told me, looking me in the eye. Twiggy had silent tears streaming down his face. "See a new beginning rise behind the sun, they can never catch up to as fast as we run." He quietly sang, just before a spaced out, blank expression came over his face and the ominous long beep of the monitor sounded. "Brian, I love you." I whispered, breaking down, laying my head on his chest. Mary began to cry too. I felt Jeordie’s hand on my shoulder. "Goodbye, friend." He said quietly. "He’s gone, Jeordie. He’s gone." I whispered, in shock. "I know, and I am so sorry." Twiggy told me, pulling me into a hug.
Mary too cried as I tried to pull her off Brian’s body. She struggled to reach for his gown. "Sweetie, here." I said, holding her close to me, looking into her eyes and every time since then, when I look in her eyes, I see Brian. To think only three hours ago, Brian Warner was just fine. I held his pale hand in mine, looking into his eyes as I held our daughter. "If the people we love are stolen from us the way to have them live on is to never stop loving them. Buildings burn. people die, but; real love is forever."
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I awoke screaming. "Rhiannon, baby, what is wrong?" Brian asked, concerned. "I... you... you died! I had a terrible dream that you died!" I said. "Baby, I am right here, don't worry!" He replied. "What day is it?" I asked. "Christmas day." He replied. "Brian, you have to stay here today, please." I begged. "Sweetheart, it's Christmas, do you really think I'm not going to spend Christmas here with you and Mary?" He asked. I smiled. "Alright, I love you." I told him. "I love you too, honey."