Group Sessions

Lisa had more issues then a three-ring circus with one person trying to juggle all the acts. I knew she was going to be a problem from day one. She sat in the same chair every session, her black hood pulled up blocking out most of her face. The only thing visible was her strawberry blonde hair in a French braid. She was so predicable in some behaviors and in others she was a complete enigma. I couldn't wrapped my head around this girl, all I knew was that she was nuts. But I digress; Lisa was the best thing that ever happened to me. Well, sort of, after my razor blade and bottle of Jack.

Let me start with the reason I got thrown into that pitiful excuse of a ‘support’ group. My parents caught me experimenting with new ways to self harm, like burning myself, and they said I needed help. They went on about how my drinking was out of control and I had never been the same since my older brother got shot in front of me. They cried for weeks, begging me to go to this thing. I hate to see my parents like that. So for their sake I agreed to join this group thing, even if it was already on its third meeting. Of course I knew there was no way I was showing up to this thing sober, I mean I had to keep myself from dying for boredom. So I made sure I drained a few glasses and had my flask handy for this special occasion. I had no idea the impact this place would have on me, but if I did, maybe I would have never come. Maybe I would have never met Lisa Lander.

At first Lisa ignored me for too many weeks to count, or should I say she didn't give me out right attention. I knew she was watching me and listening as I told my stories to the group each week. Now I usually don’t care about women, too messy of a business for me, but there was something about Lisa. Maybe it was her twisted sense of humor or the peak I would get of scar lines on her wrist when she adjusted her headphones. It’s probably the latter, see Lisa and I were the only ‘cutters’ is the whole group. So I felt a certain connection to her. By the second month of nothing more than flirty smiles it was time for me to make my move. By that I mean I wanted to least make a better impression on her.

So I showed up to the ninth meeting only slightly tipsy, so I could have my wits about me. I even kept my flask only half full; I wanted to make this girl squirm. I am not the romantic type, if there was anything I disliked more than people it was romance. Flowers, chocolates, cards, poetry, please a girl gets rid of all that crap anyway when you breakup, so I preferred for us to have matching scars. But all that to the side, the goal for today was to get Lisa to speak to me. I wanted her to think about me beyond the session and well into the week. So I made my over to her. I knew I had sinister grin on my face, it was the smile that would make the normals run for the hills. Lisa wasn't a normal, so she smiled in return. Her hood was down, since the caught her early, her guard was down too.

I looked at her olive skin, her soft pink lips and dimples which cause me to be stunned. When she raised her big gray eyes up and me, I lost my entire cool demeanor for a moment. I had forgotten why I went to her in the first place, thinking only about her beauty. She stared back at me, just as openly, without a tad bit of confusion in her eyes. As if she expected me to have this reaction. After all the staring she started to feel subconscious and pull her hood up. I pulled it back down as I sat next to her.

“No needs to hide your beauty, the other girls are already jealous of you.”

She laughed, reminding me again of her edge, “why do you say that?”

“Can’t you see they are dying for my attention?”

“Oh are they?” She rolled her eyes. “I must have not gotten the memo, because I much rather that you would leave me alone.”

I could really hear the coldness in her tone, and I loved it. I gave her a slanted grin, and leaned into her slowly, testing if she would flinch or pull back. Let the record state she did neither, in fact she leaned forward.

“I can’t leave you alone Lisa. Who else will you talk to about the best techniques are for the razors lullabies?” I ran my finger over the top of her wrist.

“You have some nerve you know that right?” She crushed my fingers in a tight grip. “Don’t touch me like I am yours.”

“Oh you will be.” In that moment the lead walked in, a briefcase in his hand, filled with surveys about emotions I am sure.

I pulled my hand from her grip and pulled her hood over her head. I didn’t leave the seat next to her, since I always sit here. I know what I had done was bold and pretty stupid, but I was so very amused. I mean where else could I get this kind of entertainment. As usual I got in trouble for my ‘crude humor’ as the lead put it. He hates that I say what is on my mind, uncensored and all. I mean isn’t that supposed to be the point, releasing our thoughts and being accepted for the screw ups that we are. I knew that was too good to be true, so when I went to make my way to the exit I was shocked that Lisa walked besides me.

“I like the way you never stop giving that guy hell.” Then she kissed me on the cheek and ran away.

I knew in that moment that I was in trouble.