Group Sessions

Of course I got into trouble for cutting Lisa in our group session. Of course the lead thought I needed a more serious form of medical attention or even jail time. Which he mumbled quite articulately under his breath but I don’t even give a crap about that guy and his opinions. All that mattered was today I got Lisa Lander to crack, even if everyone else freaked out and restrained me after my brief kiss with her. Even though I knew they restrained me for marking her as mine, not kissing her. It was all worth it, she taste almost as good as a bottle of whiskey, almost. I half listened to this quack as I stared behind his head to where Lisa stood, her grey eyes fixed firmly on mine. She was smiling like I had never seen her smile before; it was enough to make me want to drink a little less. Just so I could see that smile through unclouded vision. At this point I had no idea what the lead was blabbing about anymore, all I knew was that I would no longer be bringing my razor here. I would agree to whatever makes this douche stop yapping. He finally lets me go with a stern warning and said he would be speaking to my parents. Like I care.

Lisa was at my side two seconds after the lead stormed out. She sat next to me and gave me another grin. She reached in my pocket for my razor and pulled it out. Her eyes locked onto it like it was a lover who she couldn't live without. She ran the sharp edges gently on my skin and looked into my eyes to see my reaction. Of course I hid my excitement pretty well, letting her only see my intrigue. When she saw whatever she was looking for in my eyes she dug into my skin with the blade. Craving a capital L into the same place I had put the K on her arm.

“There we match,” she looked back up at me, “now we are even.” She got up and started walking away from me. “Are you coming or what?”

I got up and walked to her side, grabbing her hand in mine. I had never done this before, the whole holding hands thing, I thought it was too grade school. But this was Lisa and something about her always made me want to do some weird stuff. I didn't know where we were going, but I didn't care either. I was just content going wherever this girl took me. When we had walked to the town’s limit she sat us on the edge of the boarder. She was sitting on one side and me on the other, our hands resting directly on the cheesy white line drawn by some town kids for fun. We were silent for a while, I knew it was because Lisa isn't really a talker, and well I'm not one for being serious. I prefer dark but true jokes and drunken storytelling to semi sober conversations. I wondered if the silence would go on forever when she spoke.

“I have social phobia. I have the tendency to self-harm, and I have a few mental disorders up my sleeve.” She laughed, “I feel like I am filling out those boxes on a stupid dating site.”

“No worries,” I laughed too, “I will just fill out one too. Okay, I love liquor, I always self-harm and I think you are perfectly fine to me. What are a few mental disorders among friends eh?”

“Is that what we are, friends?” She looked at our connected hands as she asked me her question.

“Not us, no, we are something there isn't a word for yet. I guess I could just settle for calling you my girlfriend until they come up with one.”

“That may work.” She rested her head on my shoulder, her hair spilling down my back and chest. “Kevin, why me out of everyone? I mean Jenny seems really into you.”

“Eww that girl, no way. She is too normal, I despise normal. Besides, I can relate to you, we are both in love with razors you know.” I stared out at the passes cars.

“Yeah, I guess that gives us some kind of connection.” She pulled up the sleeve of my hooded sweat shirt, and exposed my numberless scars. “So many, how’d you even achieve that?”

“I have a lot of time on my hands.” I gently took her other hand in mine and got up, pulling her up with me. “Let’s get you home Lisa, I hear your parents are a really horror.”

“I don’t want to go home.” She looked up at me desperately. “I am sure they heard about what you did me and they will yell at me as soon as I walk into the door. I will never hear the end of it; I just want to put that off a little longer. Please.”

I couldn't say no to her. So we sat back down and I took out my flask. We passed it back and forth taking swigs and telling some of the stories behind our scars. It was a nice time, and when she finally got home her whole house was sleeping. Which made her very happy; when I got home my parents were waiting for me. It was only eleven at night; this was the earliest I had been home in months. Lisa must be a good influence on me. My mother’s eyes were filled with tears as I walked into the door. My father’s on the other hand were filled with anger.

“Why the hell would you cut that girl in the middle of group therapy Kevin?” He barley let me close the door.

“Oh come on Dad, she didn't complain. In fact, that girl is now my girlfriend, so no harm no foul.” I made my way to the stairs that led to my room but my father blocked my way.

“That’s not the point Kevin. You can’t do things like that, it’s not acceptable behavior. Your mother has been crying since we got the news, the lead said one more stunt like this and we have to get you institutionalized! Is that what you want Kevin?” The vein on my father’s head bulging with anger.

“I can’t lose you too Kevin.” My mother sobbed from the couch. “Please, please try for me.”

I trudged up the stairs with guilt riding on my back on as I took each steps. I didn't want to make my parent’s life harder; I was just trying to make my life easier.