Heart Attack Waiting to Happen

Chapter 8: My Head's Going To Explode.

Josh’s P.O.V

I was late for school. I did this on purpose so I wouldn’t have to face the others, especially Amy. I know I would see them later in the day though but first thing on a Monday morning, I could not handle.

The corridor was empty; everyone was already in class except for one, Oli.

He was late to by the looks for it, taking some books out of his locker. I hadn’t seen him since he stormed out of my house Saturday morning. I was pissed at him and wanting to call him out about it but I've calmed down a lot since then and I didn't see what good it would do causing an argument.

I walked over to him, I had his hoodie in my bag all cleaned and ironed for him to wear.

He looked different today, looked more open. He was wearing a red and navy checked shirt, denim skinny jeans and a grey beanie. Even though his long black hair covered most of his face, this showed off his neck tattoos more, I was surprise he actually wanted to show them off to everyone. He was a secretive person.

“Hey.” I say softly not wanting to startle him.

He looked behind his locker door surprised to see me.
My eyes grew wide as I saw he had a hint of a black eye, surrounding a nasty cut on his eyebrow.

How the hell did he get that?!

“What- What happened to your face?” I asked worriedly.

“N-nothing!” He snaps, ducking his head and pulling his fringe over the cut so no one could really see it.

There were so many things I wanted to ask him, like; why did he freak out about his hoodie, why did he get so angry when he saw me and Amy, why was he sitting in the playground on his own at night, did he really punch a teacher in the face, where were all these cuts and bruise’s coming from? Just so many to ask, and impossible to ask because I know he would just get angry and push me away.

I pulled out his hoodie from my bag and handed it to him.

“Here’s your hoodie, all clean for you to wear now if you want.”
I smiled at him.

He didn't say anything but he looked so sad as he took the hoodie from me and put it on over his shirt.

He frowned down at the cuffs on his hoodie when he pulled his as through the sleeves.

“Is something wrong?” I asked.

“You…you stitched the holes up."

“Oh yeah, my mum said she sewed up a few holes, is that okay?”

“I like to put my thumbs through them.”

“Oh sorry, she did it without asking me.” It made me feel bad because he seemed upset by it.

“Its fine…I’ll just make new ones." He says, running his fingers across one of the stitched holes.

We both were silent for a moment. I really wanted to ask him what was so precious about his hoodie and ask him about everything else. I knew his answer anyway but I had to try.

“Oli, what happened the other night-" I was interrupted by a teacher.

“Why aren’t you two in class? Detention after school, both of you for being late!” Mr Jones shouted at us.

“What! Aw man.” I was pissed.

“Not another word from you young man or it shall be extended. Now off to class the both of you.” He scolded and we both reluctantly started walking to our classes.

“Thanks Josh." Oli mumbles, yet there was a hint of a smile on his face which confused me but also made me smile a little as week.

I watched as he took a left turn at the end of the corridor to his lesson, it looked like he had maths now.

I was interrupted by a loud cough and Mr Jones was watching me with an annoyed impression on his face. I rolled my eyes and took the stairs to my class in a strop, I’m 17 not 14! Who has detention in sixth form anyway?!

~~

It was now lunch time and I’ve manage to avoid the guys so far apart from Amy, who passed me a note in maths asking why I left on Saturday night.

I wrote back saying sorry, I didn’t really have much to say to her. I was kind of embarrassed how I left things. I almost had my first kissed but I ran off after a friend. This must of looked weird to her, cos it did for me.

Instead of meeting the guys in our usual spot, I walked across the school field where I knew Oli would be sitting on his own.

He was drawing in his sketch book and when I reached him, without a word I sat down beside him.

He didn’t say anything to me, I just smiled at him in a friendly gestured which led to him smiling back at me. It made me feel all tingly inside and I felt my cheeks blush. Wait! Why am I blushing?

I had a funny feeling in my stomach; it made me feel abit uncomfortable as I couldn’t control it or know what it was. Why was this happening? What was this feeling? He only smiled at me, chill out Josh.

To distract myself from this unsettling feeling, I took my ham and cheese sandwiches out of my bag and handed one of the half’s over to Oli.

He glance at the sandwich and shook his head at me.

“I’m a vegetarian.”

“Oh, really?” I asked a little surprised and He nodded.

I passed him my KitKat chunky bar instead and he raised an eyebrow at me.

“You’re giving me your KitKat?”

“Yeah, you need to eat something.” I said waving the chocolate bar around and he pulled a face.

“Yeah, Yeah, I know. I'm too nice.”

He let out a little laugh and took the chocolate bar from me.

I didn’t bother asking about anything what happened over the weekend or anything about his bruised face, the moment was nice sitting here together and I didn’t want to ruin it.

Instead we spoke about music and the places we would like to travel too…We had abit in common, interests in the same music, both wanting to travel to the same places. Was this real? He was like a complete different person today, and everything about him was making me like him so much more…more as a friend or as something else? The feeling in my stomach still hadn’t gone; I didn’t understand what was happening to me.

“Are you okay Josh?” For once he was asking me if I was okay.

“Er…yeah I’m fine.” I lied.

How could I explain how I was feeling when I didn’t know myself? Did I fancy him? Shit. Did I fancy a guy? What was this? I don’t even know. I enjoyed his company and we had things in common…I just saw him as Oli. A boy I couldn’t stop smiling at and who made my stomach feel all funny. Maybe I did fancy him.

But was that such a bad thing? From the day I first saw him, I couldn’t keep away. I guess that does explain some things.

They say that love kind of chooses you sometimes…

No. This can’t be love, can it? Lust? Or the start of it maybe?
That explains it, I had feelings for Oli, and this feeling in my stomach was butterflies?

I’ve only heard of the saying but never thought the feeling of butterflies in your stomach was actually true.

I didn’t know how to react to this… apart of me beamed inside with happiness and the other part of me was terrified. I was unsure.

The bell rang telling us that lunch was now over.

We both headed to our classes together in silent. We didn't have any classes together today and before we went our separate ways he turned and looked at me.

“See you in detention.” He smiled and walked off.

Fuck, his smile. My heart just wanted to explode.

My realisation of my feelings for him was going to be the death of me.

I had two more lessons to get through before I saw him again, how was I going to cope? I needed to go home and sort my head out, but I needed to be around him too.

My heart was racing and I felt like my head was spinning.

This was going to be the longest 2 hours of my life.