Maybe It Was You All Along

I wake up the next morning cuddling someone. At first, I think I'm still at my house and that Craig's the one laying next to me. But then I realize that I'm not at home. I'm at Vic's place and its Vic himself that I'm cuddling with.

"Fuck," I mutter under my breath.

I carefully slip out of his bed. I stare at him and I feel my heart tear. Vic doesn't need me in his life, doesn't need me fucking up everything he's worked so hard for.

"I'm sorry," I whisper before kissing his forehead.

I scramble around the room, gathering my clothes and throwing them on. I check, twice, to make sure I have everything before grabbing a piece of paper from one of Vic's notebooks. But not before noticing the words written on a page.

Like a rush, shot through you
Everyone is watching you

Told you I don't see no need for the sun
A love you light is a love soon lost
(If this is it) Don't bother cause this love is a lie
I'm a chemical kid, you're a mechanical bride

I smile a little at them. He's a writer, how cute. I go to flip to a blank page but then realize I'd just be wasting his paper that he could be using for his incredible writing. So I find a blank notebook and rip a page out of it.

I'm sorry I'm just leaving like this, with no explanation. I just... I can't do this. Not to you. You're too nice, too kind. I'm just going to fuck everything up for you. Because that's what I am. A fuckup. So I'm going to let you go now before something happens that we both regret. Have a great life.
-Tony

A few tears drop onto the page as I write the note. It breaks my heart to have to tear Vic out of ny life before I even get to know him. But it doesn't matter. Because I don't matter.

I fold up the note and drop it next to his notebook that has the writing in it, making sure to put 'For: Vic' on the top side. I hope he sees it before school today, or else things could get really awkward.

I slip on my shoes and leave Vic's place. I walk all the way home, lost in my thoughts the entire time. I don't know what time it is or how long I walked, but by the time I get home, my parents are already gone.

I sigh in relief before taking my stupid jacket off and walk to my room. I realize Craig is still on my bed, still curled up like he was last night. Except this time, he's wide awake. And crying. Again.

"Craig," I mutter, slipping my shoes off and climbing into bed next to him.

"Everything hurts," he whispers. "No one loves me. No one cares about me. I'm just... Here."

"I love you," I whisper, stroking his cheek. "I care. And so do the other guys."

He looks up and locks eyes with me. Tears are still rolling down his face, so I reach my hand up and wipe them away. He smiles weakly at me and I return it.

"Where'd you go last night?" Craig asks.

"Just out..." I mumble.

"Okay," Craig whispers, knowing better than to pry.

He pulls away from me and I let out a sigh. I assume he's going to head home, but instead he grabs his phone and checks the time. He frowns a little and groans.

"We have thirty minutes to get to school," he whines, pouting at me.

"I say we skip until last period," I suggest, getting up and stretching.

I know I want to avoid Vic, but I also know music is Craig's favorite subject and right now, his happiness comes before mine. And I can tell that he is happy by the suggestion as he beams at me.

"Can we get high today?" He asks excitedly.

It's been a while since I was completely stoned. Okay, not a while. Only a few days. But before that, it'd been a while. And Craig always smokes as little as possible because he knows I like to have at least one almost sober person to talk to.

"Sure. I've got a ton since I barely smoke anymore," I shrug before pulling off my shirt.

Craig wolf whistles at me as I turn my back to him and I just roll my eyes. I reach into my top draw, underneath my Star Wars boxers, and pull out five dime bags. Then, I grab a bong from my hiding spot before sitting on my bed.

Craig plops down next to me as I empty out a baggie and grab a lighter from my pocket. As I light it and inhale, I immediately feel the calmness flow over me. I take another hit before passing it to Craig. And that's what we spend the next hour doing.

~

It's been five hours since we discarded the empty baggies and now Craig's straddling me, his fingers tangled into my hair. He's giggling like crazy and keeps swaying from side to side.

"What time is it?" I groaned, grabbing Craig's hips.

He pulls out his phone. "I think we have like half an hour to get to class?"

Craig's confused, I know that. But I know I'm not any better so I just laugh, causing him to start giggling again. I slip Craig off my lap before getting up. I drop my pants and boxers before rummaging in my draws for my boxer briefs.

"Nice ass!" Craig yells, then his hand connects with it.

I let out a yelp before laughing and grabbing some plain gray boxer briefs. I pull those on with a different pair of skinny jeans and a Pantera top.

Craig stumbles off my bed before wandering around my room. He grabs random clothes and starts taking the ones he's wearing off. I simply make two separate blunts, one for each of us to smoke on our walk to school.

After Craig is dressed, the blunts are done, and we've got everything we need (which is just the blunts and our keys), we head out. And as we light up, I allow Vic to flash through my mind for a split second.

~

At school, Craig and I stumble into class, ten minutes late. Vic frowns at me, but I'm too high to care. Craig and I trip over ourselves and each other's feet on our way to our seats.

As we flop into them, I swear I feel as if the room's spinning. And suddenly, Vic Mr. Fuentes is in the back of the room. He casually drops a note onto my desk when no one's watching. And as I read the words, I feel my high wearing off.

This isn't over Perry. Far from it. After school, you're coming to my place. Even if I have to drag you there.