It Only Takes One Night.

I woke up with a start at 4am, almost falling out of my bed and tripping over the still unfamiliar cracks in the floor. Someone was knocking on the door, and I was instantly wary. Jaime was over at his girlfriends's for the night, so I grabbed the baseball bat that I always kept in my room, and headed down the stairs quietly. When I got to the door, I pulled the curtain aside just enough to look out.

What I saw surprised me. Tony was standing on the doorstep, looking a little drunk but a little hungover at the same time. I slowly opened the door.

Tony looked at me sheepishly. "Hey, Kailee .... is Jaime home?"

I shook my head, pretending it was complete normal for him to be asking for my brother at 4am. "No, he's at Jess's, why?"

Tony looked sad. "Never mind, it's not important. I'll just .. go."

He turned away, but I couldn't let the darkness swallow him. "Tony, wait." He turned back to me, his face glowing softly in the moonlight. "It must be important if you came to see Jaime at 4 in the morning," I said sensibly. "Are you sure I can't help?"

He sighed. "Can I stay here for a few days?"

That wasn't what I was expecting at all. Part of me wanted to jump for joy and part of me wanted nothing to do with it.

"Why?"

He looked so sad. "Jaxin and I got into a pretty big fight tonight ... I don't really want to go into details right now, but I need to let things cool down before we talk again and I also want to make sure that we don't upset Natalie if ever things get out of hand or something."

I didn't even hesitate then. "Sure, come in," I said. "I'm sure Jaime won't mind. Do you think you and Jax will be okay?"

"I hope so," he said softly. I swore that I saw tears in his eyes felt really bad that this beautiful boy was sad. I'd always loved Tony, and no matter what happened, he was my friend and friends don't let friends be sad.

I couldn't stop myself from walking over to him and wrapping my arms around him. He seemed a little uncomfortable at first, but then he hugged me back. It felt ... right, being in his arms like this. He nuzzled into my neck softly and shivers ran up and down my arms. I stepped back a little.

"Are you sure you don't wanna talk about what happened? It might make you feel better," I said. And I'll admit, I was curious. I wanted to know more about this Tony. In many ways I still remembered him the way he was when we were younger, but people obviously changed over the years and I hadn't spent enough time with him to know what he was like now. He still seemed like the shy, sweet kid that I'd named my 'honorary' brother, but I knew there was more to him than that.

He mumbled something that I didn't hear. "What?"

He sighed, running his hands over his hair. "I don't want you to judge me, too," he whispered.

Awwww. "Tony, I won't judge you I promise. Just talk to me."

"Okay," he said, and smiled at me slightly, and my heart leaped at the sight of that smile. God, how he could be so beautiful without seeming to realize it was just beyond me.

We went into the living room and sat on the couch and I waited while he seemed to work up the courage to talk to me.

"You remember my ex, Stephanie, right?" he said finally, not looking at me.

I nodded. I remembered her, all right. She'd been nice enough, but I had never managed to really warm up to her. But to be fair, I'd never really had a chance to get to know her. I'd seen her a few times in passing with Tony, or at parties, but not enough to judge her. But obviously, being human and a girl, I'd judged her anyway and I didn't like her. My heart skipped a beat when I thought that maybe Tony was considering going back to her. We all knew they hooked up, but could it be more? I didn't like the way that thought left a bad taste in my mouth. I shook my head, clearing it. No. Tony himself had mentioned that night that we'd .... anyway, he'd said she was married or something, it wasn't possible. Anyway, Tony wasn't that dumb. She'd really hurt him.

I finally snapped back to reality to find Tony staring at me intently. "Yeah, uh, of course I remember her, why?"

He sighed, his cheeks going slightly red. "Well you all know how we kind of stayed um, fuck friends I guess, after the break up, and it seemed to suit us fine and no one objected, you know? We were both single, who cares? Well, the other night, the night that we, um, anyway, she told me she was getting married."

I nodded. That was it. Engaged. That was what had led to the entire night with Tony ... he'd needed comforting and I'd given it to him.

He continued. "She had offered for us to have sex one last time, and I turned her down. But tonight ... I was a fucking idiot and I went to her house. She was alone, and we ended up in bed. And when I came home, Jaxin somehow knew where'd I been ... and he called me out on it, and we ended up fighting over it. He never liked her, he never approved of our hookups, and tonight ... I guess I crossed a line in his book by sleeping with someone who's about to be married."

I moved closer to him and put my hand over his. I knew just by looking at him that he was hurting in several ways, and it broke my heart to see someone like Tony hurting like this. No matter what happened, if we had drunken sex a thousand times, I'd always be there for him. That's just the way it worked.

"Jaxin basically said that he didn't trust me anymore, because if I could sleep with someone who's about to be married, what would stop me from sleeping with his w-wife?" A lone tear trickled down his cheek. "He called me a home-wrecker and told me to get out before I wrecked his home." More tears trailed down his cheeks. "I'm such a screw up," he said. "All I ever do is mess with people's feelings."

I wrapped my arms around him for the second time that night and let him cry in my arms. It was incredibly humbling to be involved in such an intimate, vulnerable release of emotion. I rubbed his back until his breathing evened out, and he looked at me with wet eyes.

"Thanks, Kailee," he said in a rough voice, and I leaned forward until our foreheads touched.

"Anytime, Tone," I said. "I love you, you know."

He smiled, and twined his fingers in mine. I hadn't even noticed that I still held his hand. "Love you too, Kails. You're the best."

"Jaxin will regret what he said come morning," I said. "You're his best friend, he didn't mean it. Everyone does stupid stuff, and what you did wasn't the smartest thing you've ever done, but it's over now. You're not going to go back to her again, are you?"

He shook his head. "It sounds pathetic, but tonight was basically goodbye. I had to bury what we had, because if I didn't I'd never be able to move on. It's funny, I had no obligations or anything tying me to her, but the entire time that we were hooking up on and off, I never considered a serious relationship with anyone else. I wasn't ready to give her up and I didn't want to be disloyal to anyone else that I'd be dating. Now ... I can find someone else."

"Do you have anyone in mind?" I asked casually.

He blushed slightly. "Maybe."

I didn't push him for details, even though it almost physically hurt to keep my mouth shut. "Just one more thing ... why did you keep going back to her? We all know that it just made you feel like shit."

"Loneliness, honestly. Even though it was just a few hours, it was better than being alone. I'd live in the moment, taking the comfort she'd give me. Each morning, when I still woke up alone and feeling like shit, I'd swear it was the last time, but every time she called, I couldn't stop myself. It was like a drug."

"But you could date almost anyone," I said, pretty surprised by how much he was admitting.

"I'm scared to date anyone," he said, so low I almost didn't hear him. "She hurt me pretty bad, without even realizing it. If she'd loved me as much as she'd said, she'd have waited for me, she'd have found a way to make things work." He sighed. "Who am I kidding? Maybe I should have sacrificed more. But I didn't. Maybe I won't ever be able to give more than this. A few days here and there, stolen moments in between the tours and the rehearsals and the recordings. What kind of girl would be happy with that?"

"Someone who loves you," I said, so vehemently that he looked at me in surprise.

He smiled slightly. "Noble sentiment, but I can understand why a family and husband with a steady job would hold more appeal than anything else. I mean, I want a family someday. But when? I'm not sure. And I don't think it's fair to ask anyone to wait on me."

"One day, you'll find someone who won't make you ask her to wait, she'll volunteer to wait because she can't see herself with anyone but you. Love is about sacrifice, but why should it just be one person? If someone can't wait a few years for someone they love to be ready to take the next step, it's not love."

"I hope you find someone who sees things the way you do, Kails. I'd hate to see your heart get broken. You're one of the best people I know and I wouldn't tolerate anyone hurting you."

I realized that he'd included himself in that category. That he was afraid that he'd hurt me, or maybe that he'd already hurt me. My head hurt. It was 5am, I didn't want to continue this conversation. I couldn't, without becoming emotional or revealing too much.

"Wanna watch a movie or something?" I asked, and he nodded.

I turned on the TV and by completely chance, a Star Wars movie was playing. I didn't even have to look at Tony to know he'd want to watch it.

I curled up in his arms, and he didn't protest. He drifted off to sleep a bit before me, and even though I knew I should go back to my room, I stayed there, enjoying the sound of his heart beating and the warmth of his body pressed against mine,

I was just fine with these little stolen moments.

*************************************************************

The slamming of a door woke me up, and I opened my eyes slowly, wincing as the sunlight hit my irises. I felt Tony stir beside me, and I moved slightly, careful not to fall off the couch.

Jaime walked in, and his eyes widened at the sight of us.

"Um ... good morning."

My brother's voice woke Tony up completely. He sat up, looking confused for a minute with me beside him.

"Uh, hi," he muttered. "I'm going to take a shower. I need to talk to you about something after, Hime-Time." He brushed past us both and headed upstairs.

He didn't even acknowledge me and even though I knew not to take it personally, it hurt.

Jaime sat down beside me. "What was that about?"

"What was what about?"

He cocked an eyebrow at me. "Don't play dumb, Kails. I find you two sleeping together, and then he just walks away, doesn't acknowledge you at all, and says he needs to talk to me. What happened with you two?!"

I almost laughed at what he was implying. If only he knew that he didn't have to worry about anything happening between me and Tony ... not a second time, anyway. If I didn't value my life, I'd have told him right then and there.

"Jaxin kicked him out. He came over here because he didn't know where to go. We talked, we fell asleep, and this morning I think he feels pretty awkward because he spilled his guts to me last night."

Jaime looked visibly relieved, and I suddenly had the urge to hit him. "Seriously, Jaime, he's your best friend. Trust him a bit, would you? He needs his friends right now. I won't go into detail, he'll tell you, but seriously. Don't even try to accuse him of putting the moves on me now, it'd destroy him to think that you don't trust him, either."

Jaime had the decency to look embarrassed. "You're right, I'm being stupid. Poor Tony. What the hell happened between him and Jaxin?"

"You ask him," I said, getting to my feet. "I'm gonna make waffles, should I make extras for you two?"

He nodded, hugging me before heading upstairs, and I felt slightly sick. I wished, in a way, that we'd just told Jaime what had happened. He'd have been mad, but ... nothing compared to if he ever finds out that we'd deliberately hid it from him.

I sighed, heading into the kitchen. I hoped we had whipped cream and chocolate syrup, I needed to drown my sorrows in sugar.