Just for a Moment

Alex woke up to a white light beaming brightly right onto his face. He first noticed the white washed walls and dull furniture in a dated minimalist fashion. Next to him was a machine beeping relentlessly; monitoring his heart rate. It then didn't take long for Alex to figure out he was indeed in a hospital.
Relief washed over him. Thank God. Somebody saved him from the wreck he was in and he couldn't believe he was still alive. Hold on, somebody saved him? “Who exactly?” Alex wondered out loud.
Alex couldn't even start to fathom as his head trauma was still going strong, reminding him of the state he was currently in; his leg was in a plastered cast, the rest of the body was covered in bandages. He reached up in attempt to soothe his headache however all he felt was wound dressings. He sighed helplessly and looked up to the ceiling, mindlessly playing with the gauze taped on his right arm.

Alex felt lost.

He felt scared. He wasn't sure who brought him in or what was said to the authorities about his condition. There was only one thing he was sure at this point, that he certainly wasn't ready for any interrogation right now.
His eyes wandered off until they landed on the bedside table; his phone. His only friend, at this very moment. He reached outwards to grab his phone and was about to switch it on when he saw himself in the shiny, sleek iPhone. The reflection staring back at him was nothing like the teenager he once was; six feet tall with healthy, chocolaty brown hair, warm brown orbs, rosy cheeks and a good physique. His skin was now incredibly pale, his lips slightly blue-tinged. His hair was a light brown now, not the rich, chocolaty brown it once was. Alex felt deflated; he resented the whole event. The whole school. It wasn't his fault for being different. He couldn't help it.

The seconds ticked by, making the sound of the clock ticking annoying in the otherwise silent room. Alex was losing his sanity bit by bit as minutes bypassed. The heart rate machine not failing to increase the beeping sound every time he inhaled sharply. Alex waited and waited for someone to bombard him with questions. And to be honest, he was quite ready to flip shit on them too. He was willed to shut everyone out, until he could think. Think about what he could do to prevent this event repeating.

Suddenly, he heard plenty of mutterings about CT scans, X-rays and blood tests. The door to his room later opened. The intruder was none other than Jack, call him creepy; he could just tell it was the Lebanese boy just by the footsteps. He quickly shut his eyes, pretending to be asleep. He thought the other boy might see through his façade quickly but by the sounds of the shaken sobs, he realized the boy was not even aware he was awake.

Jack shakily held his hand, gently pressing kisses to the back of it. The Lebanese boy choked out another sob, followed by incoherent words that sounded so close to “I’m so sorry baby”. The boy lightly traced his skull, down to the region between his eyebrows, along his nose, up to his mouth. He stopped to gracefully lean down and peck Alex’s lips.Alex involuntarily shivered when Jack’s lips lingered there for a bit longer; his hot breath fanning the other’s lips. Jack however, was still not aware of Alex’s ever-so-slight movements of complete and utter stealth.

Jack, the poor boy was so distraught. His eyes were bloodshot from crying and lack of sleep. Jack hasn't slept for two consecutive days and who could say his mind was in a logical place. He was too emotional to be tired but he knew he probably looked worse than Alex appearance-wise now. Perhaps it’s the hospital that made it worse he thought to himself.

Jack cleared his throat; a feeble attempt to start talking to Alex.

“Lex” he coaxed. “I’m sorry I wasn't there baby. I’m fucking sorry. I regret it all the time right from when I found you at the lockers. I was hysterical. My mind went berserk. I couldn't think rationally. During the two days you've been out, I have to confess I haven’t been a particularly good person. I would just force the fact of you being in hospital out of my conscious thought, refuse to think about it and pretend like it never happened. All of this has been too much for me to endure, Lex. One night, my old friends came and gave me an ultimatum; that is to join them; otherwise they’d beat you up again, Lex.” Jack blinks and his voice cracks while he says, “So me being the coward I am, I agreed. Can you believe that? I fucking agreed out of my own stupidity. I regret that so much now.”

Another strangled sob resonated through the silence.

“But I have a plan, baby. You gotta trust me. Ok? I need you. I have a plan to never let them bother us again. You know? They’ll be gone from our lives forever you know? Can you hear me? The thing is I just need time for the plan to work, baby. This is all my fault, all this that happened to you is sick. What they did was immoral. I feel the need to take responsibility for that so I need you to trust me in this when I say I’m going back to them.”

Jack breaks down fully at the very end of his speech, unable to control the lump forming in his throat. His eyes started to burn, his vision blurring; he tried blinking rapidly, refusing the Niagara’s to unleash. His lower lip trembled, when he called out an “Alex” his voice sounded hoarse, laced with fear. Fear that the boy might not forgive him. Fear that the boy may have heard his confession. It was not that Jack didn't want the boy to, however a part of him didn't want to disappoint the one he loves. Alex. Jack started to feel completely dissociated. Anyone could see that his eyes were growing overly bright now. Tension in the room was clearly tangible. A tear or two escaped the chocolate orbs, trickling down the cheek. The hold on Alex’s hand grew tighter.

His face crumpled, the trickle of tears squeezing from between shut eyelids became an unstoppable flow, and his voice dissolves into nothing but inarticulate wheezes of despair. His shoulders trembled violently; erratic wet out-breaths turn into agonizing hiccups and raw jagged sobs.
He got up and made a run for the toilet, collapsing to his knees when he reached it and vomited wildly. Eyes wide, Jack sobbed – no more tears.

Little did Jack know that Alex went into a panic attack mode as soon as he broke down. The heart rate machine beeped irregularly; attracting the attention of many nurses and doctors allocated in the ward. They all rushed by Alex’s bedside trying to perform complex procedures that might bring Alex back. Nurses rushed to unload equipment while doctors provided liquid oxygen to the unconscious Alex. He was no longer responding to pain or stimuli; he had gone into shock. His eyes were lolling backwards and powerful gasps could be heard when he panted for air. His body went into a fit; his legs and arms flailing and his chest aggressively rose and fell. If he were to survive now, it would be a miracle. It was up to the medical staff now. And it was up to Alex; whether his body was still willing to fight for living.

Jack exited the men’s restrooms to check back on Alex. But when he reached there, the place was filled with white coats and medical equipment. Fear hit him like a tonne of bricks. He was panic-stricken. Burning with questions that needed answers, he cried “What happened to Alex? He was fine moments ago! TELL ME WHAT YOU HAVE DONE TO ALEX!”
A nurse noticed Jack and escorted him back out, simply saying he cannot enter when he fired questions at her.

He paced around the small waiting room with long, nervous strides. He couldn't sit down. How could he when he doesn't even know what have happened to Alex? He thought all was too risky. He thought maybe Alex heard what he said after all. He blamed himself profusely for hurting Alex all over again. He would drown in guilt if he stayed one more second. He was about to demand them to let him see Alex when a man with grey hair in a white coat came out, who he immediately recognized as the one he spoke to earlier on.

The grey haired man started, “Mr Barakat, let’s have a walk.”

Jack merely nodded as after all those throat-searing sobs; he didn't quite trust his voice.

“Mr Gaskarth had a semi-nocturnal suboconic seizure. His brain seemed to have had a colossal impact after the violence. It would take some time for Mr Gaskarth to recover, but I’m terribly sorry for your loss. I’ll have to put it out there that he may not fully recover. Ever.”
“What do you mean he may not fully recover?”
“His brain had been severely affected by trauma and aftershock of the attack. I’m afraid you have found him too late. I’m sorry. You may see him now if you’d like.”
“But you can’t help him?” Jack sounded so hopeful.
The doctor sympathetically shook his head.

Jack followed the doctor back into Alex’s room. Alex’s parents were already there, gently talking to him as if talking any louder would upset their fragile son. He greeted them quietly while they gave an encouraging smile.
Alex cringed as the doctor injected him with his medicine. He grimaced as he felt the stinging sensation flow into the veins. Jack winced too. All the while thinking, this wasn't supposed to happen to Alex, his Alex, his best friend, boyfriend and his new-found love.
Jack slowly slid in the seat next to Alex’s bed; giving Alex a small smile. Confusion was written all over Alex’s face. Jack went to hold Alex’s hand, while mumbling a little “Hey, Lex”.

But the rapid retraction of the hand and the words that left Alex’s mouth next made a new set of tears to ooze out from Jack’s eyes all over again.
“Who are you?”