Cherry and Vanilla

KIER'S POV

~

It started when the Timids got together (well, officially. They came back after a date Shane set up and officially announced that they were together and serious). That was when I started to notice Laurence; not in the usual best friend way but in a romantic way.

I'd notice the way a strip of skin on his lower back would be exposed when he reached up for a glass. I'd noticed the way he sometimes sucked his thumb as he slept and looked adorable while doing it. I noticed the way he bit his lip occasionally and looked through his eyelashes. I'd noticed the way his face looked so beautifully serene as he fell asleep.

What brought this on? Why am I only noticing these things now?!

I took time to reflect on all of these things as I gently removed the glasses from his face (he'd fallen asleep reading).

I fell back gently onto the bed and sighed; I already knew the answer.

Seeing the Timids in a different light has made you re-evaluate your own relationships. Is Laurence a friend? Or something so much more?

I rolled over into my side slightly and looked at the sleeping boy; his black fringe fell messily over his face and a small smile was on his lips - like he was having a pleasant dream.

I wonder what he's dreaming about...

I watched as he shuffled slightly and his lips parted a bit.

I might actually get to find out. Occasionally, very, very occasionally Laurence talks in his sleep. It's usually music related or nonsense, it's still amusing though.

What he eventually mumbled surprised me though, especially when I noticed the way he was shifting.
He was moving slightly, his lips curled into a smile and little moans escaping his parted lips. I decided he was probably having a sex dream due to the fact he had a hard on and was whimpering slightly.

“Kierrrrr” he mumbled deeply, making my jaw drop ever so slightly.

Is he dreaming about me? About me and him?!

Luckily or unluckily, depending on how you look at it, Laurence made no more noises after that. After a while he stopped moving and lay still again, he breathing evening out as his did.

Did he really just have a dream about me and him? Also, why am I not freaking out? It’s so strange, I’m almost… happy? No, wrong word. Regardless, I should be disgusted or creeped out, yet I find myself smiling at the sleeping boy.

I could feel insomnia calling so instead of trying –to no avail – to sleep, I just propped myself up against my pillows and let various thoughts worm their way through my head.

A little voice inside my brain seemed to be trying to tell me something; it sent wayward thoughts to me about how I would like to hear Laurence moan my name like that when he’s awake.

I tried to suppress the images, knowing that it was wrong to think about my best friend like that, but it didn’t work. He flooded my thoughts and all I could think about was the little things I’d noticed earlier.

His lips get so shiny when he sings; I wonder what they’d feel like to kiss, probably all soft and tender and… oh shit… well, I think I worked out the problem.

It probably took me far too long to get it but at least I knew what the hell was wrong with me now.

I have feelings for Laurence… bloody brilliant… nice job, Kier, way to go and fancy your best friend/ band mate… nice one…

I sighed defeatedly and flopped down onto the pillows, making Laurence squirm in his sleep slightly as I hit the bed with some force.

“Kier?” this time he mumbled it in confusion, rather than a lustful tone. I watched as he blinked awake and stared at me, his gaze unfocused.

“Hey Laur” I greeted, smiling at his sleepy expression. I needed to act like nothing was different, like I hadn’t just had a minor emotional epiphany.

“Whattimesit?” he mumbled, shuffling closer towards me so that he could rest on my shoulder.

A quick glance at the clock informed me that it had just gone 2am. “Round two-ish, Bevs. Go back to sleep” I whispered, conscious of waking the others in the rooms next door.

“ ’kay…” he curled up at my side and tilted his head up towards me, as if asking permission to cuddle me. That was strange, usually he just does it.

Maybe he realised he was talking in his sleep and that I heard him? Maybe he’s just being uncharacteristically shy?

Either way, I wrapped my arm around his shoulders and drew him in close, resting my head on his shoulder.

“Kier?…” he said after a while, he was obviously having as much luck with sleep as I was.

“Yeah, Bevs?”

He looked at me cautiously for a moment, as if deciding whether to continue or not. After a few seconds though, he just shook his head and shut his eyes. “Never mind…”

I wondered so badly what he was going to say; it nagged at my mind irritatingly.

Eventually, I fell into an uneasy sleep. Just as my eyes were about to drift shut fully, I glanced at Laurence. His arm was still securely around my waist and his warm breath was ghosting along my ear in a delightfully pleasant way. I snuggled in closer to his sleeping form – he’d managed to slip into unconsciousness a lot earlier than me – and sighed gently, half contently, half longingly.

“Night, Beveridge” I murmured to his sleeping form.

That dream may not have even been what I thought it was. Either that or it’s just a weird dream that means nothing… It may have been an indication that he likes me, but I doubt it. Still, even if cuddling him like this is all I can have, I’ll take it.

*****

Breakfast next morning was fun.

Whoops, did I say fun? I meant painfully awkward.

It started out okay; we all drank coffee and ate like usual, it was only when Laurence said that he was off to take a shower that things got awkward.

“A cold one?” Drew giggled. “Sounded like you could have used one last night”.

I watched as Laurence’s face lost a bit of colour.

“What?” he murmured, his eyes flicking over to look at me quickly before they focused on Drew again.

“We could all hear you last night, moaning that girl’s name. Kiera wasn’t it? The blonde that was all over you after the last show we did” Luke asked, wiggling his eyebrows at Laurence.

Kiera? I started to question myself as to whether he’d said Kier or Kiera. It was much more likely to be Kiera, but I was awake and next to him. I swear he said Kier! Or maybe I just didn’t hear properly… Maybe I was hearing what I wanted to hear.

“Hah, yeah, Kiera…” he laughed awkwardly before making his way towards the bathroom rather quickly, not before looking at me out of the corner of his eye though.

No, I swear he said Kier! I was wide awake and in the same room for God’s sake! He is straight though… well, supposedly… I’ve seen him kiss a boy before, not to mention our stage things.

As everyone went back to their breakfasts and the attention left Laurence I rose from my seat – hoping no one would notice me approach the occupied bathroom. Luckily, they were too wrapped up in their conversations to notice me slip through the door and into the steamy bathroom.

Looks like he ignored Drew’s advice…

I stood there awkwardly for a second, wondering if this was a good idea. There was no embarrassment between Laurence and I; we shared an apartment and a bedroom, we’d seen each other naked hundreds of times. Still, now that my feelings had changed I felt rather awkward standing in the bathroom, even though I could only see a blurry outline against the white shower curtain.

“Laurence?” I asked, loud enough for him to hear me other the running water.

“Kier?!” I watched as the shadow against the curtain jumped slightly, his hands dropping to his sides from their original place in his hair. “Um, what’s up?” he asked shyly, poking his head out the edge of the shower curtain cautiously, his hair covered in white bubbly shampoo.

“Can we talk?” I asked hesitantly, shuffling slightly from foot to foot.

"Is right now really the only time we can do it, Kier?" he asked nervously, sounding acutely aware that he was naked.

"It's not but I don't see what's wrong with now, besides I don't want the others to hear so this is good.
Besides, this wouldn't usually bother you, what changed?" I probed, hoping for some indication as to how he felt. His stolen glances earlier and behaviour last night intrigued me.

"N-nothing. It's fine. So, what was it you wanted to talk about?" He briefly ducked back into the shower and I watched as his silhouette rinsed his hair and stepped back out of the spray.

"Well, I wanted to ask you something... Did you really mumble Kiera last night?..." Okay, I know that sounded weird. After all, why would it matter?

"Just leave it alone, Kier!..." he snapped harshly, probably thinking I was here to tease him.

"Laurence, I'm not trying to be funny about it... If you like someone then I want to know! I don't want to tease you, I just thought you might like to talk to someone..." As much as I tried to hide it, I couldn't stop the hurt from seeping into my voice. Before he could say anything, I turned and headed out of the bathroom and into our bedroom. I collapsed down on top of the red and black bed sheets, feeling like an
idiot.

I'm such a dick! He probably thinks I'm a total jerk for asking a question he clearly didn’t want to talk about... Of course he doesn't like me. The way he got all defensive about liking that girl Kiera proves it...

I rolled over on my side and grabbed the nearest pillow, grasping it just for something to hold. Unfortunately, once it was against my chest I realised that it was Laurence's pillow and that just made me sadder.

I let go of it and rolled over to the other side of the bed. Much to my dismay, I felt hot tears build on my eyelashes causing me to screw my eyes shut tight.

For fucks sake! God, since when did his love life make or break me?! Probably since before the restaurant since I remember liking the way he touched my leg... I'm such a twat! Why the hell would he like me anyway?

I felt the tears spill over as I opened my eyes slightly and brought my arm up to my face so that I was crying into the crook of my arm. My chest tightened as my cries turned into sobs and I curled into a loose ball.

God I'm so pathetic...

"Kier? Kier, are you okay!?" I felt arms wrap themselves around my shaking body and cradle me close.

I guess he finished his shower then.

"Mfine..." I choked out as he lifted me from the bed, sat down and settled me on his lap. It was only then that I realised he was only wearing some grey pyjama bottoms and that his chest was still slightly damp from the shower. He smelt of cherry and vanilla shower gel and despite myself I found myself leaning into him.

"Kier is this about earlier? I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to snap! You were just trying to be a good friend!" He tried to comfort me and gently rocked me in his arms as I cried lightly onto his bare shoulder.

"I'm sorry, I'm over reacting. I don't know why I'm being so emotional!" I apologised, wrapping my arms around his waist and nuzzling into the crook of his neck.

"Hush Kier, it's fine. I'm sorry, okay? I never meant to upset you" he apologised again, rubbing gentle circles on my back.

I snuffled lightly and stopped the last couple of tears from falling with the back of my hand.

"So... Since I never gave you an answer earlier, I feel I should give you one now. The guys were wrong, I can remember most of my dreams and she definitely wasn't in my thoughts last night. I was dreaming about someone though..." He trailed off awkwardly and stared down into his lap, well actually, he tried to. Since I was sitting on him it was pretty hard.

What he said made me raise my hopes a little.

If he didn't say Kiera, then there's a chance... No, I can't make assumptions, that just leads to me getting hurt. I need to be sure.

"Who were you dreaming about?" I asked nervously, anxious of the answer.

"Um... I didn't say Kiera, though I can see why the guys would think that... I said Kier..."

Even though this is what I’d thought he originally said, it still shocked me. It was like a confession that he liked me, well, almost.

“And were you dreaming about… er…” I mumbled awkwardly, avoiding his gaze.

“Yeah…” he whispered back softly while sounding embarrassed. That was all I needed to hear.

I tilted my head up and joined our lips in a passionate kiss. Feeling him reciprocate made all my self-doubt and insecurities drain away. His soft fingers grazed my cheeks, down the trails were the tears had dried.

“Please, don’t ever cry over me again. I want to be the one to make you smile, not frown” he whispered delicately into my ear.

“As long as you’re with me, I have no reason to cry” I whispered back, just as softly.

Nothing else mattered in that moment. Not any of the petty worries real life burdens us with, not the fact the guys were in the next room, not anything.

Locked in the moment, it was just me, him and the delicious scent of cherry and vanilla shower gel.
And I wouldn’t have it any other way.

THE END.