Beach

The wavy, cold sand was massaging my feet as I moved them under it. It was the last night of August and my thoughts were getting the better of me so I decided to visit the sea. I was laid down on the sand with my crimson dress and looking up at the starless sky and the lonely moon. A feeling of loneliness had washed over my heart and the moon was my companion for the night…my friend and a good listener.

I kept thinking about the things that troubled my mind along with the idea of how nice it would be if Sebastian was here with me instead of Heaven. I missed him so much that it hurt me to even see our friends or go outside of the house. Everything and everyone around me reminded me that he was missing now. He wasn’t a part of my life anymore and I had to live with that.

And I remember those days when we waited for the hours to pass so we could meet after school on the corner to walk hand in hand towards the beach. He was really romantic for a guy but I liked that about him…how he was so sweet yet so serious. The last time we saw each other, we were at the beach, promising to each other that we would stay together forever. We had exchanged promising rings and made love in the sand as the sand hugged my back.

Later on, we had danced without music the waltz of our lives but the most wonderful dance was performed by the waves as they hugged roughly the few rocks that were there. I wished I had stopped that very moment when we danced with my body close to his and his breathing against my neck. I can’t forget and I’ll never forget the words he said to me that night when I had to go home.

‘’Even if I’m gone,
I will be here.
Even if you’ll never see me again,
I’ll be right beside you,
watching your every step.’’

I didn’t know the meaning his words had back then. I thought it was a poem he had heard somewhere or something he had written for me to show me how much he loved me. And it was…a poem just for me, because there was a possibility I would never see him again.

He was sick but I had no idea about it. He never let it show on his face or his moves or the things he said. He didn’t want me to worry and now I knew there was nothing I could have done to save him. The greatest gift I was able to give him was my virginity as I took his…the pleasure of knowing my heart belonged with his.

And just like that, cancer took him away from me and I was left here watching the waves dance to the sadness of my heart.