Stockholm Syndrome: Be Mine

"And this," Gerard said, leading me into a freakishly white room. "Will be your room."

It really was freaking white. In fact, the only thing that wasn't white in the room was the hardwood floor. This room was unnerving.

"Okay," I said slowly. "So, there's a toothbrush and stuff in the bathroom, food in the kitchen, and I have a room. But your still missing something."

"Like what?" He said impatiently, tapping his foot on the floor.

"Well, I need clothes, underwear, um.. Toiletries. A lot of stuff."

Gerard grumbled. "Shit. Well this is a problem. I guess I'll have to buy you the shit."

My ears perked up. "What? Wait, no, um, why can't I just go buy it? That'd probably be really weird for you, and it's not like you'd even-"

I was cut off by a loud, somewhat patronizing laugh.

"Wow! When are you gonna learn? I'm not stupid, Erin. You think I'm just gonna let you leave? You'll be recongnized. I'll buy you what you need. And it's not like it fucking matters what you look like now, you'll never get out of this house."

We'll see about that.

He turned to leave, but stopped halfway through the door.

"Oh, and if you are dumb enough to try and escape, I'll find you, and really make you wish you were dead. You can count on that, sugar."

And with that, he left.

***

Gerard left about an hour ago, leaving me to entertain myself. Mainly, I was just imagining him buying my underthings and tampons. He really was stupid, wasting all that money on stuff I already had at my house.

My throat tightened. My house. If things went the way they were 'supposed' to, I'd never go there again.

I wasn't going to cry, though. I was tired of crying. No, I just turned on Gerard's DVR when I saw he had recorded Shutter Island.

Perfect.

The movie had just ended when the front door opened. I had a mini-heart attack, mainly because of the creepy feel that the movie had left me with.

"Honey, I'm home!" Gerard called out, as he set various bags on the counter.

Rolling my eyes, I surveyed the stores he'd shopped at.

"Um.. Gerard? I really don't shop much at Hot Topic." Then upon seeing the small bag that would probably hold my underwear, I added,"Or Spencer's."

"So? It's stuff I liked, and you could really take a few fashion tips from me." He said, tossing his black hair to one side.

Against my own will, I giggled and grabbed to bags to take to my room.

"Hurry up and get dressed!" He yelled through my closed door. "We're going out tonight!"

***

'Going out' turned out to mean we were going to get blood. This brought a whole new wave of feelings to the table, because I felt nervous, but at the same time sort of excited. I wondered what it would taste like.

Gerard had told me to dress a provocative as possible, which wasn't hard given the gothic attire he'd brought me. I ended up wearing a pleated black miniskirt, a red corset-like top that accentuated the chest I really didn't have, and extremely tall black boots.

Gerard just wore what he usually wore: tight, black everything.

"Hurry up!" Gerard said in a whiney voice, tapping on the bathroom door. "Other people need to do their makeup!"

I swiped on one more layer of black eyeliner, before groaning and opening to door. It was actually really fun to play a slutty bad-girl. You got to go all crazy with your makeup.

"Thank you." Gerard said, before opening a drawer and fishing out a stick of black eyeliner.

"You wear makeup?" I asked.

He snorted. "Well, what's it look like?" Then he finished smudging it on, sprayed some cologne on and left.

"Be ready in 5!" He reminded me.

"Okay!"

So, it turns out we had to leave so early because the club we were going to was so far away. It was already 10 when we arrived.

The drive had been slightly awkward, but not because it was silent. I was still pretty mad at Gerard, not that I thought that'd ever change, but he seemed to be as happy as ever. It bothered me, how he acted like we were friends on a simple outing.

"So," I asked, as he opened my door for me,"When did you become a gentlemen?"

"Well," Gerard said, as we walked to the front door. "My grandma taught me to always treat a lady like a lady." He paused. "And I've recently decided you count as a lady."

I playfully shoved him.

Instantly I was shocked at the loud music and bright colors of the nightclub. There were more gyrating bodies in the room then I think I've ever seen before.

Gerard leaned in close to me and whispered in my ear.
"Okay, so here's what's gonna happen. Look for a guy around 20, their the easiest to seduce, then lead him back to the car. We can just share him tonight, since it will be your first time."

I shuddered at how easily he talked about killing someone.

Nevertheless, I nodded and made my way through the crowds. It was harder than I thought it would be, picking a victim. Mainly because I was choosing who in this room would die tonight.

I comforted myself with the fact that it was either this or death, and reluctantantly picked my target. A tall, thin man who had begun to rub his body on mine.

Okay, ew.

Swallowing my disgust, (and all sense of self pride) I began to mimic his actions. Our 'dancing' soon progressed to him kissing my neck breathlessly.

I leaned in and whispered, "Lets get out of here." To which he eagerly complied.

Grabbing his hand, I lead him out the door. Where Gerard was standing with ducktape. He quickly slapped it over the now screaming man's mouth to silence him.

Gerard lead me to a dark, and somewhat stereotypical, alleyway where he handed me a knife.

"Okay," he said. "Your teeth aren't sharp enough get to be able to pierce the skin, so just slice where you want to take the blood-"

He was interrupted by a louder scream, which earned the guy a kick to the groin.

Rolling his eyes, he started again. "Anyway, back to what I was saying, just cut his wrist or arm or something. I figured you wouldn't want to kill him, so that's why I'm having you go first. You ready?"

I really felt like I was gonna puke. There was cold sweat on my body, and my palms were clammy.

"Um.. What's it gonna taste like?" I tried to keep my voice from trembling.

Surprisingly, Gerard wasn't irritated by this. "Well, since your not full-blood, it really could go either way. It's not going to taste bad, but it might just be like water to you. Or it could be really good. It really just depends on you." I instantly felt relief wash over me.

I nodded and let out a breath. Slowly, I held the knife and placed it right on the vein in his wrist. Then I sliced it. Surprisingly, I'd never really been around blood before, so my reaction surprised me.

It was like melted chocolate, but naughtier. It smell incredible, almost sexual. I raised his wrist to my mouth and licked the line of blood from it.

The taste exploded in my mouth, sending me into over drive. I bit down, totally ignoring his cries of pain, and drank.

I don't know how long it was before I killed him. Minutes, hours. Really, it felt like seconds. I couldn't even hear Gerard telling me I was killing him. That I'd had enough.

I couldn't even feel myself turn into a monster.

***

I was in my room, staring at the ceiling, when Gerard walked in. He didn't say anything to me. He didn't have to. I started crying on my own.

He walked over to my bed and scooped me up in his arms like I was a small child. Wordlessly, he carried me to his room and laid me down on his bed with him. I curled up on his chest. He smelled nice, sweet.

I just lay there, straining his shirt with my tears.

"I'm sorry, Erin." He said, in a strangled voice.

I sniffled. "S'not your fault I'm a murderer."

He sat up. "No, it is my fault. I should've been more careful. I knew you weren't ready for that, but I pushed it on you."

I didn't say anything, just buried my face further in his chest. He stroked my hair with his fingers.

I fell asleep like that, listening to his murmurs and feeling his touch.

And in my dreams, I knew I would feel his touch again.