Breakout

Chapter 5.

I tried talking to Alex all day. Even though we didn't have any classes together besides Science. And we also had different lunch times. I took a deep breath and sat down at Samantha and I's lunch table. Samantha left school early because she had to go to the doctors, so that left me alone at lunch. I didn't buy anything to eat today since I wasn't that hungry. It was true. I decided to look around the cafeteria. My school cafeteria was pretty normal. The jocks sat with the jocks. The nerds with the nerds. The cheerleaders with the cheerleaders. As I was glancing around the cafeteria, I locked eyes with Rian. He was sitting with students I didn't recognize. He got up from the table, along with his tray, and came walking towards me. He finally reached to me and sat down.

"Hey, I didn't know we had the same lunch period," he said.

"I didn't either," I said. He noticed the empty table in front of me.

"Are you hungry?"

I shook my head. "No."

"You sure?"

"Yeah."

"Here," he took the apple off of his tray and handed it to me.

"No thanks, Rian. I'm not hungry."

"I don't care, you're eating it."

I sighed. I guess I lost the argument. I took his apple and took a juicy bite out of it.

"So where's Kara?" I asked, trying to make conversation.

"She has lunch next period."

I nodded understanding. "How long have you two been together?"

Rian smiled. "A year so far."

"Do you love her?"

Rian hesitated before answering. "Yeah. Yeah, I do."

"Aw, that's so cute!"

Rian laughed and blushed. We sat there in silence. It wasn't an awkward silence, it was a nice kind of silence. I looked around the cafeteria once more. Students were flinging food at each other and laughing. A girl squealed because a boy threw spaghetti noodles in her hair. I took a bite out of my apple. I had lunch mostly with the ninth and tenth graders. I sighed. I kinda still wished I was in ninth grade. There wasn't drama, it was just all about friends. Suddenly, my thoughts flickered to band practice yesterday. Alex's song.

"Hey Rian. You wouldn't happen to know what Lullabies is about?"

Rian tensed up a bit. I noticed the same with Alex yesterday when I asked him about it.

"Yeah, I do, why?" he asked, his eyes flickered over to me for a second then back down at his lunch tray.

"What's it about?"

Rian took a deep breath. "I don't think I should tell you. It's kinda personal to Alex."

I pouted a bit. What was so personal? Did something bad happen?

"Do you know why he won't tell me?"

"I think Alex should tell you. It's not up to me."

"Do you know where Alex is right now?"

"In the music room."

"Is it okay, if I check up on him?"

"Yeah, go ahead."

"Thanks, Rian."

---

When I reached the music room. I stopped short before I walked in. I heard two people talking. I didn't quite hear the voices but I recognized Alex's voice.

"I don't know what to do Jasey. What should I do?"

I heard Jasey sigh before answering Alex. "I think you should just forget about it. I don't think he would let you mope around the whole time. Think of the positive things in life, Alex. Your band! Jack, Rian and Zack will always be there for you. Your friends! Me, Lisa, Samantha and Marie."

"Marie's not my friend," Alex responded, immediately. My heart stopped. I'm not his friend? Even though we've only known each other for a week, doesn't really count as being friends. But still. I showed up to band practice yesterday, we hugged and talked. Honestly, it felt like we were actually friends. But standing here and Alex telling Jasey we weren't friends broke me a little.

"Marie's not your friend?" Jasey asked.

"No. I've only known her for a week. We only met in Science where we are paired up for this social thing. Even though she came to band practice yesterday, I still like to think we aren't friends. I don't know anything about her. And I'm sure as hell, don't want her to know anything personal about me. She tried to figure out what Lullabies is about! Only you, Lisa, Rian, Zack and Jack only know who that song is about. Including my parents. I just don't want Marie to find out. She seems like the type of person that once she finds out about something, she go tells everyone. And once she finds out what Lullabies is about, she'll tell everyone. I know that."

I felt tears tickle my eyes a bit. Alex thinks that about me? That's his first impression about me? Jasey sound like she was speechless because she didn't talk for a minute or two.

"That's what you really think of Marie?" she asked. I guessed Alex nodded because he didn't say anything. I didn't want to hear anything else. I stepped away from the door and headed down the hall with tears running down my face. I wiped them away quickly before anyone could see them.

"Marie!" I heard a voice call behind me. I turned around and found Jack walking towards me. A few tears threatened to spill but I quickly stopped them. I guess Jack noticed because his once smiling face was now concerned.

"What's wrong?" he asked.

"Nothing," I choked out.

"Your eyes are red, something's wrong? What is it?"

"Nothing Jack, don't worry about it."

Jack sighed and took my arm. He walked down the hall, dragging me along with him. We suddenly appeared outside of an empty classroom. We walked in and Jack closed the door. He didn't turn on the light since we didn't want to get in trouble sneaking into a deserted classroom.

"What's wrong?" he spoke.

"I told you Jack, nothing's wrong."

He smiled a little. "You're just like Alex."

Once I heard his name, I couldn't help but think of all the things he said about me. She seems like the type of person that once she finds out about something, she go tells everyone.

"Is it about Alex?" Jack asked.

"No! Why would you think that?"

"Cause you're crying again."

I touched my cheek and I felt wet tears on my face. I sighed. "Fine, it's about Alex, okay."

"What'd he do?"

"I don't really wanna tell you."

"Please," Jack pleaded.

"No," I said.

"Yep. You're exactly like Alex."

"Stop! Stop comparing me with Alex okay! We're different! We're not alike! Just stop!"

Jack was taken back by my sudden outburst.

"What did Alex say to make you so upset?" Jack asked calmly. I took a deep breath. I really didn't want to go through this again.

"He said that I'm the type of person that once I know something, I run off and tell everyone. And since he won't tell me what Lullabies is about, he thinks once he tells me what it's about, I'll go and tell everyone. Which is completely false! I would never do that. Rian said it was a personal song. Why would I tell everyone something that's that personal that he cries about it? And the worst part was, was that was his first impression of me! First impression! Do you want to know what my first impression was of him? I thought he was a douche bag and I turned out I was right. He's such a jerk!" I sat down at one of the desks and buried my face in my arms. I silently cried until I felt Jack's hand resting on my back, rubbing it soothingly. Suddenly the bell rang, which meant lunch was over. We both stayed put. I took my head out of my arms and looked up at Jack.

"I don't know what to do."

Jack sat down beside me and sighed. "Rian's right. Lullabies is a personal song to Alex and since he doesn't know you that well, he won't tell you what it's about. I'm sure he'll come around. Eventually. You just need to give him some time. And Alex's first impression of you, was wrong. I honestly don't think it's right. My first impression of you was I thought you would be the typical nerd. You know, you always care what you get on your tests, you always get A's, you're goody two shoes. But when I finally met you, you weren't those type of things. You were sweet, nice and kind. And I'm sorry I called you nerd in Science a lot. It's a habit."

I smiled a bit. "Thanks Jack. It means a lot."

He smiled at me. "You have to wait til Alex opens up. But anyway, what was your first impression of me?"

I thought a while, trying to think of when I first saw him in ninth grade.

"I thought you were weird."

"And it's true!"

I laughed. It was crazy how I was just crying a few minutes ago and here I am laughing. Jack always knew how to make things better. We sat there for a few moments talking about random things and I found myself not thinking about Alex once.

---

"Jack and Marie. Why are you late?" Mrs. Overstein asked as Jack and I entered our Science classroom.

"We were just by the library, reading and we didn't hear the bell," Jack lied.

"Well, go take your seats," she ordered. Jack patted me on the back and gave me a small smile as if saying, everything is going to be alright.

I smiled at him as I took my seat. Alex and I locked eyes but I quickly looked away.

"So I want you guys to visit your partners once more. This time talk about your personal lives," Mrs. Overstein said. I sucked in my breath. Which meant I would have to go talk to Alex. I closed my eyes as I took a deep breath. I really didn't want to talk to him right now. Everyone else walked to their side of the classroom with their partners. I got up from my seat and instead of going to the back with Alex, I walked up to Mrs. Overstein's desk.

"Yes, Marie?"

"Can I go to the nurse? I'm feeling a little sick."

"You just came from lunch, why didn't you go to the nurse then?"

"I wasn't feeling sick then. Can I please go?"

"And skip talking to Mr. Gaskarth? I don't think so. Take a seat."

I rolled my eyes as I made my way to the back of the classroom. I didn't once glance in his direction as I sat down.

"Do you have any pets?" I heard Alex ask.

"Nope. You?"

"I have a dog."

"Cool."

We sat there in silence. It felt like the same tension in the car. Awkward and silent.

"I know you were eavesdropping on Jasey and I."

I turned my head towards Alex. "You did?"

Alex nodded. "You breathe too loud."

I tore my eyes away from him and at the desk in front of me. "I heard everything you said about me."

"You did?"

"That was such a nice first impression," I sarcastically said. Alex ran a hand through his hair.

"It's true," he bitterly said. I turned to face him.

"You don't know anything about me."

"I could say the same for you."

I gaped at him. "Fuck you." And with that I got up without saying a word to Mrs. Overstein and walked out of the classroom.