Tombstone Tourist

“It was because of me that you d-drew like that. I-I didn't know how else t-to let you know that I'm here.”

I just stared at the boy, silent. He started to look nervous. I was trying desperately to comprehend what was going on, but I was at an utter loss. So I said the first thing that had come to my mind.

“But you, you're dead?”

“Well, uhm, y-yeah.”

“How?”

“I-I k-killed myself.”

“No, no. How are you, ya know,” I gestured to him standing in front of me, quite the opposite of dead.

“I-I don't know.”

“So, what?”

“I know as much about what's going on as you do. I'm Alan.”

“Austin,” I replied with a bit of hesitance.

“Do you mind if I sit with you Austin?”

“No, I guess not.”

He walked just as normally as any human would, even stumbling slightly over a particularly odd shaped hill in the grass. He timidly took a seat in front of me and refused to make eye contact.

“You're here a lot,” he mumbled to his lap, though I knew he was talking to me.

“Uh huh.”

“More often than my parents.”

I didn't know how to reply to his statement. I had no idea if he knew why they were keeping their distance from his grave.

“Why? Why do you come here so often?”

“My mom is buried right here.”

“Oh. I'm sorry.”

“It's okay.”

“Your mom must be in heaven.”

“What? How do you know?”

“Well, I uh, sort of got sent to Hell at first. The suicide thing, you know. Beating God at his own game yada yada. But I met lots of people there and none of them looked like they could be related to you.”

“How are you here now then?”

“I made a deal.”

“What kind of deal?”

“I promised I w-would try again if I was sent out of there. If I succeed, I'll become human again. If I don't, it's back down. Your mom isn't here in the middle though, or she would have sent you a sign before. She must have gone to heaven.”

“Oh,” I breathed quietly. “Why are you spending your time talking to me if you have something you need to do?”

“W-who knows. Maybe you can help me?”

“What do you have to do?”

“Find s-someone who can s-see me and get them to fa-fall in love with me.”

He trailed off at the end and I heard him curse his stutter. I leaned back against my mom's stone and tried to process all that Alan had told me. So my mom was in heaven. I knew she was already, people like my mom deserve paradise, but it was nice to know now for sure. Alan is dead, but he's not? Not sure how to react to that. Also, he has to get someone who can see him to fall in love with him or he gets sent back to Hell. Wait. Someone who can see him?

“Not everybody can see you?”

“No o-one I know. Strangers can, but people I knew before I died never will. They will see and hear and entirely different person in my place and who that person will be varies. It's complicated.”

I nodded, finally understanding a bit of all of this.

“But once someone becomes something other than a stranger, will they still see you?”

“Y-yeah. Damn st-stutter. Embarrassing.”

“Don't worry about it. I don't mind it.”

“It annoys e-everyone.”

“I have a cousin who's got autism. He can barely form coherent sentences and he's 11. I still love talking to him because he's one of the smartest people I know. So, seriously. It's fine. We've all got our own issues or flaws. I've never been one to point them out to other people and it'll stay that way forever.”

“I l-like you, Austin. You s-seem nice. Can you help me? I don't want to go back there .

He visibly cringed and I felt bad for the kid. If I could remember correctly, he was only 19. That's a lot of pressure on someone so young. But, according to his mother, pressure was what caused this situation in the first place.

“I can try.”

It's in my nature to help people and I knew that Alan would need as much of it as he could get.

“Thank you. R-really. There's no way I could do this on my own. I-I just worry you know?”

“How come?”

“W-why would anyone fall in love with me? Even when I was alive, no one wanted me. Now that I'm a ghost or whatever the hell I a-am, the odds are even worse. Plus there's this.”

He pulled down the collar of his dress shirt and revealed the rope burn that was accompanied by a few dark bruises. I tried not to show my discomfort when he did so and it appeared to have worked.

“Someone will love you eventually, I'm sure of it.”

“B-but how do I tell them that I'm not really alive? How can anyone l-l-love a boy they can never hold?”

“It will happen. Just don't give up. It will be hard but it'll happen. I'll help you.”

“Th-thank you. Would you uhm, would you mind taking m-me shopping? This is all I have,” he gestured down to his dress clothes. “I h-have some money.”

“Sure, no problem.”

“Thank you, again.”

“You're welcome.”

He stood and walked towards the cemetery gates and parking lot. I collected my notebook and pencils, shaking my head in utter disbelief, and went to catch up with the dead but not dead boy who had enlisted my help.