You're Mine, Carolyn
#o - Truth
#Carolyn's View#
I was beyond pissed with him and with myself for seducing him while i was in a drunk state. I hated for letting myself go into that temptation induced by the amount of alcohol i had on my body. I drank because i wanted to forget that i was trapped in here with him, and i wanted to forget that i almost died last night, and that hate feeling i had for him led me to a path that i didn't wanted to go. It made me do things that i didn't wanted to do with him. It made me fall into temptation. And the worst part of it... I loved it. I loved being controlled by him. Just thinking about it makes me hate him and want him at the same time. Does this makes me a bad person? I'm pretty sure it does, because no one, who's kidnapped wishes having sex with their kidnapper.
'' How could i be so stupid! Of course you were Sid, you had the stupid fucking mask on every time you came up to my room! How didn't i recognize you in the first place!'' I was still in his room, sheet wrapped on my body and looking to him who was starting to get angry by the things i was saying. I was confronting him with the truth that i only discovered minutes ago.
'' I was going to tell you the truth about me!'' he said louder sounding pissed off with me.
'' When? When did you planned on telling me, huh Sid? ''
'' When i felt like it! But -- ''
'' Oh, when you felt like it... Does that include me dying inside of this house while you wait until you were ready? Because that was what was going to happen. '' i told him.
'' No... Carolyn you have to understand that i wasn't fucking ready to tell you yet! '' he said walking towards me raising his voice. Every time he yelled at me i remembered the times that i suffered in his hands.
'' Carolyn- '' He was going to touch me on my arm but i pulled away from him before he had the opportunity to.
'' Don't touch me. '' i spoke through my teethes. I sat on his bed and looked up to him. He seemed sad, but i didn't mind. He had to feel the guilt for doing this to me.
'' Why? Why did you do this to me? What do you want from me? Do you wanna kill me?'' i asked him desperately.
'' No! Of course i don't wanna kill you.''
'' THAN WHY DID YOU FUCKING KIDNAPPED ME?!'' I got up and started to punch him on his chest. I was pissed off with him. First, because he kidnapped me and did all those things to me and made me suffer and second, because i knew i was falling for him. Since he told me at the hospital that he loved me i started to see him in a different way, but i denied to myself. I didn't knew who he was until now.
'' WHY? Why did you do that to me?'' i started to cry and he hugged me so i could stop punching him. I felt his hand caressing the top of my head followed by a kiss.
'' Because i love you. Because i wanted you.'' he quietly said and i pulled away and looked up to him.
'' If you loved me, you wouldn't do those things to me. If you loved me, you wouldn't cut me. If you loved me y-'' I was pulled by surprise when he grabbed my face between his hands and kissed me. I tried to pull away from him but he got a strong hold on me. After what seemed like an eternity he broke the kiss only to stay a few inches from me, still with his arms around me.
'' I only realized what i was doing to you when i saw you in the bathroom yesterday. I thought i was going to lose you...'' he whispered and i closed my eyes so that he wouldn't see that i was starting to cry. Remembering that again made me feel sick 'till the point that i hated myself more than i hate him.
'' Don't you see that you're torturing me? '' i said looking up to him. '' Don't you see that you're making me go insane?'' with each word i said, more tears were falling down my face only to have him wiping with his fingers.
'' You're not insane.'' he leaned to gently kiss my forehead and i closed my eyes while he was doing that, inhaling his scent. He pulled away from me and i watched him taking two t-shirt from his wardrobe and a pair of boxers. He handed me one of his t-shirts and his boxers and i dressed them not complaining about it. It was that, or i had to stay naked, which i rather not be. Once i was dressed, i watched him dressing the t-shirt he grabbed for himself and went to his private bathroom. He came back seconds later, only to stretched his hand to me.
'' Come. Let's go downstairs.'' I took his hand and he lead me downstairs to his living room. Once there, he order me to sat on the couch while he went to the kitchen. I turned on the tv and didn't bother zapping, because i wasn't that interested on what was on tv at that moment. He came back minutes later and sat next to me handing me a cup of water and some pills.
'' What are these?''
'' It's Tylenol.'' he said and i looked to the the pills i had on my hand. In fact, it was really Tylenol. I took then into my mouth and drank some water handing him the cup once i had swallowed the pills.
'' Thanks.'' I said almost whispering. He leaned on the couch making the movement for me to cuddle with him. I hesitantly leaned on him, placing my head on his chest and my legs on the couch and felt his tattooed arm on top of my waist. I felt him taking a deep breath and i looked up only to see him with his eyes closed and a small curve on his lips. He opened his eyes and i leaned my head on his chest again fearing that he could have said something.
Being this close to him was strange to me. I never were this close with anybody and it was scaring and yet comforting. This didn't felt right, cuddling with my kidnapper, i mean... With Sid. It didn't because i should be hating him, not wanting him near me like he was now. I should be think on a way to escape from here and go straight to the police station since i knew now his identity. not wanting to stay here with him. I should be begging for someone to take out of his house, not begging for no one to find me here. I should be hating him, not starting to fall for him.
I was beyond pissed with him and with myself for seducing him while i was in a drunk state. I hated for letting myself go into that temptation induced by the amount of alcohol i had on my body. I drank because i wanted to forget that i was trapped in here with him, and i wanted to forget that i almost died last night, and that hate feeling i had for him led me to a path that i didn't wanted to go. It made me do things that i didn't wanted to do with him. It made me fall into temptation. And the worst part of it... I loved it. I loved being controlled by him. Just thinking about it makes me hate him and want him at the same time. Does this makes me a bad person? I'm pretty sure it does, because no one, who's kidnapped wishes having sex with their kidnapper.
'' How could i be so stupid! Of course you were Sid, you had the stupid fucking mask on every time you came up to my room! How didn't i recognize you in the first place!'' I was still in his room, sheet wrapped on my body and looking to him who was starting to get angry by the things i was saying. I was confronting him with the truth that i only discovered minutes ago.
'' I was going to tell you the truth about me!'' he said louder sounding pissed off with me.
'' When? When did you planned on telling me, huh Sid? ''
'' When i felt like it! But -- ''
'' Oh, when you felt like it... Does that include me dying inside of this house while you wait until you were ready? Because that was what was going to happen. '' i told him.
'' No... Carolyn you have to understand that i wasn't fucking ready to tell you yet! '' he said walking towards me raising his voice. Every time he yelled at me i remembered the times that i suffered in his hands.
'' Carolyn- '' He was going to touch me on my arm but i pulled away from him before he had the opportunity to.
'' Don't touch me. '' i spoke through my teethes. I sat on his bed and looked up to him. He seemed sad, but i didn't mind. He had to feel the guilt for doing this to me.
'' Why? Why did you do this to me? What do you want from me? Do you wanna kill me?'' i asked him desperately.
'' No! Of course i don't wanna kill you.''
'' THAN WHY DID YOU FUCKING KIDNAPPED ME?!'' I got up and started to punch him on his chest. I was pissed off with him. First, because he kidnapped me and did all those things to me and made me suffer and second, because i knew i was falling for him. Since he told me at the hospital that he loved me i started to see him in a different way, but i denied to myself. I didn't knew who he was until now.
'' WHY? Why did you do that to me?'' i started to cry and he hugged me so i could stop punching him. I felt his hand caressing the top of my head followed by a kiss.
'' Because i love you. Because i wanted you.'' he quietly said and i pulled away and looked up to him.
'' If you loved me, you wouldn't do those things to me. If you loved me, you wouldn't cut me. If you loved me y-'' I was pulled by surprise when he grabbed my face between his hands and kissed me. I tried to pull away from him but he got a strong hold on me. After what seemed like an eternity he broke the kiss only to stay a few inches from me, still with his arms around me.
'' I only realized what i was doing to you when i saw you in the bathroom yesterday. I thought i was going to lose you...'' he whispered and i closed my eyes so that he wouldn't see that i was starting to cry. Remembering that again made me feel sick 'till the point that i hated myself more than i hate him.
'' Don't you see that you're torturing me? '' i said looking up to him. '' Don't you see that you're making me go insane?'' with each word i said, more tears were falling down my face only to have him wiping with his fingers.
'' You're not insane.'' he leaned to gently kiss my forehead and i closed my eyes while he was doing that, inhaling his scent. He pulled away from me and i watched him taking two t-shirt from his wardrobe and a pair of boxers. He handed me one of his t-shirts and his boxers and i dressed them not complaining about it. It was that, or i had to stay naked, which i rather not be. Once i was dressed, i watched him dressing the t-shirt he grabbed for himself and went to his private bathroom. He came back seconds later, only to stretched his hand to me.
'' Come. Let's go downstairs.'' I took his hand and he lead me downstairs to his living room. Once there, he order me to sat on the couch while he went to the kitchen. I turned on the tv and didn't bother zapping, because i wasn't that interested on what was on tv at that moment. He came back minutes later and sat next to me handing me a cup of water and some pills.
'' What are these?''
'' It's Tylenol.'' he said and i looked to the the pills i had on my hand. In fact, it was really Tylenol. I took then into my mouth and drank some water handing him the cup once i had swallowed the pills.
'' Thanks.'' I said almost whispering. He leaned on the couch making the movement for me to cuddle with him. I hesitantly leaned on him, placing my head on his chest and my legs on the couch and felt his tattooed arm on top of my waist. I felt him taking a deep breath and i looked up only to see him with his eyes closed and a small curve on his lips. He opened his eyes and i leaned my head on his chest again fearing that he could have said something.
Being this close to him was strange to me. I never were this close with anybody and it was scaring and yet comforting. This didn't felt right, cuddling with my kidnapper, i mean... With Sid. It didn't because i should be hating him, not wanting him near me like he was now. I should be think on a way to escape from here and go straight to the police station since i knew now his identity. not wanting to stay here with him. I should be begging for someone to take out of his house, not begging for no one to find me here. I should be hating him, not starting to fall for him.