Punk Rox!

“What time is it?” I heard Ethan’s voice through the open windows of the BVB tour bus.

“7:30,” Jess answered, I could see him staring at his wrist. Note, there was no way it was 7:30.

“You’re not wearing a watch...” Ethan glared, Jake and I stifled our snickering while we watched.

“YES I AM! NOW GET ON YOUR KNEES AND CALL ME DADDY!” Jess demanded, pointing to the ground.

What the fuck is wrong with that kid?

Ethan pinched the bridge of his nose, “This conversation is going nowhere, can I see your phone?”

“I said, CALL ME DADDY!”

“Jesse, if you don’t give me your goddamn phone right now, I’m going to hold you down and beat you to death with Harper’s pink panda pillow...” Ethan threatened. I think.

Jesse gasped dramatically, “You monster!”

“I’m not the only one lost, am I?” Jake looked over to me.

“GIVE ME YOUR PHONE!”

“NO! MONSTER!”

“Jess-!”

“RAPIST! SERIAL RAPIST BEATER PANDA NINJA!” Seriously, what the hell is wrong with him?

“J-... Where’d the ninja come from?”

“NINJA?! WHERE!?” Jess spun around and looked, Ethan face palmed.

“Your boyfriend’s retarded,” Jake tried to suppress his laughter.

“I know...” I answered jokingly.

“Over there...next to the pirate in a cheerleader outfit...” Ethan sighed. Jess gasped again.

“DANA!”

“Oh my f-... Come on,” Ethan grabbed Jess by the back of his shirt and dragged him onto the bus.

“NEKO!” Jess shouted as they entered. I saw a cat run across the street in the same moment.

“I don’t care, Alvin, now sit down and shut up.” Ethan tossed him on the seat.

“I’m a chippy now?” Jess’s eyes widened considerably and he brought his fists up to his mouth in the cutest way I’d ever seen.

Ethan only stared at him. “You are so cute...”

“Yay!” Jess cheered, throwing his hands up.

“I’m kawaii!”

“Hawaii?” Jake thought.

“Bunny,” Jess grinned.

“Kawaii Hawaii bunny?” Jake scratched his head.

“I’M CONFUSED!” I threw my hands in the air. Ethan sighed.

“Kawaii, Japanese for cute. Bunnies are cute. Jess is kawaii bunny cute. Did that clear it up for you?”

“Hai...” I answered.

“Ii desu.”

“... Qué?” I had no idea what was going on. Ethan sighed, exasperated.

“Now I’m confused,” Jake said.

“What language are we speaking? Spanish, Japanese, WHAT THE FUCK! ICH MAG NICHE!” Jess whined.

“Too many languages!” I was so fucking confused.

“Goddamn...” Ethan ran his fingers through his hair, “You’re all dumbasses...”

“Kutebara yarou!” Jess retorted.

“You’re lucky I don’t know what that means...”

“Baka...” Jess mumbled.

“Anyway,” Ethan glared at the much smaller singer.

“Kuso?” Jake spoke up again.

“OH MY GOD! I’M FREAKING THE FUCK OUT!” What’s going on, goddammit?! I don’t understand! Where the hell am I!?

“LISTEN!” Ethan shouted. He took a second to compose himself before speaking.

“Okay, I don’t know how we came to this, but if we’re not all completely high right now, I’d say you’re all fucking stupid and have the attention span of a baby.”

Silence.

“Aho...” Ethan rubbed the bridge of his nose.

“Iie! Anata no aho! Anata!” Jess fought, pointing at Ethan. My head hurt. But let’s try to make sense of this all. So, from what I know in Japanese, meaning yes and no, “iie” is no, so he said no. Then, “anata.” Since he was pointing at Ethan and said it twice, I’m going to assume it meant “you.” And I’m lost with “aho.” I’m not a fucking translator!

“What’s aho mean?” Jake asked.

“Dumbass.” Ethan and Jess stated at the same time.

“I was just asking a question...”

“ Aho...” They chorused again.

“OH! I GET IT! I GET IT! WAKATTA!” Oh, I do know some Japanese! Insert triumphant grin here!

“Hai, now can we move on and stop confusing the readers!” Ethan exasperated.

“Hai...” We all answered in unison.

“Okay, so, tour starts tomorrow. We need a manager. And Jess needs to give me his goddamn phone!”

“Mh, here,” My little cerulean eyed chipmunk handed over a shiny black rectangle.

“Arigato,” Ethan thanked him.

“Hurray!” Jess cheered. Why do I suddenly think he has a thing for the Japanese language and an obsession with anime?

“Come here, usagi and let’s try English for a while.” I patted my lap for Jess to come over.

“You called my bunny!” Jess squealed and jumped into my lap.

“You are a usagi... An usagi? How do I say that...” Jake trailed off in thought.

“Rabbit! Goddamn! Fucking rabbit! Just say rabbit!” Ethan flailed his arms.

“Hai.” We chorused.

“AH!” Ethan pulled at his hair.

This has been a fun day.