Hiding Place

Every year, after a gruelling first week of training camp, the veterans of the team got dressed up for a night out. Each member of the team – that was legally allowed to – was entitled to participate. The team had strict rules on what could and what could not be done when it came to rookies and transfers. Thus the tradition at San Francisco State University became that the rookies, transfers and all members of the women’s soccer team who were unable to participate in a night of getting shit faced with the rest of the team, were required to act as the designated drivers for the others.

Of the twenty-five-man roster we had this year, we had three rookies and two transfer students. Overall, there were ten girls who were unable to join in on the drinking festivities of the evening, which was probably a good thing as that left fifteen of us to be looked after.

The one thing I didn’t like about the drunken festival of soccer players that happened ever year was getting dressed up. We weren’t meeting at Ruby Skye, the girls’ favourite place to go, until nine-thirty tonight. Natalie organized a guest list for the team so we could get in without paying cover but the only downfall was that we had to be at the club pretty early.

Being at the club early meant that we were getting picked up at nine, which meant that Danielle and I had to start getting ready – her decision, not mine – at seven-thirty. Thank god I had a good dinner tonight, Danielle chose to ignore my wholesome dinner of pasta, vegetables and chicken in favour of something much lighter. Past experience told us that she was the one more likely to get sick tonight, not me.

I didn’t get to pick what I was wearing tonight. My best friend took the reigns and decided that she was going to do my makeup also. Somehow, I managed to convince her that I could do my own hair just fine. I was only straightening it, nothing too fancy. Danielle at least respected that, she may try to push me a little out of my comfort zone but she understood when I wanted to stay firmly inside.

After unplugging the hair straightener, I headed back towards my room where Danielle must have seen me out of the corner of her eye. Her room was just across the hall from my room. “If you bail tonight so help me Emma, I will kick your ass into Christmas time. You won’t even get your senior season!”

I shook my head as I picked up the rum and coke sitting on my dresser and took a long sip. Rarely, when we were getting ready to go out somewhere, did Danielle give me a chance to respond to anything she yelled across the hallway. “I’m coming in your room in five minutes to do your makeup!”

Instead of responding, I flopped onto my bed with my drink. It was a good time to relax while she continued to likely fuss with her hair. Five minutes of peace before she kicked it into high gear. It was just after eight, which meant, according to Danielle, that we were getting into crunch time. I grabbed my phone and opened up a text, I apologize in advance for any drunken texts you may receive tonight. Hope you’re having a good night!

Our texting had slowed down lately, probably because I was training and with the team a lot more and he was just entering the peak stages of his offseason training. We still Skyped at least once a week, which meant that we got to see each other often but we weren’t in as constant of contact as before. Still, I figured that a warning was only fair because he would likely be the target of a drunken text.

Wait you mean to tell me that Emma is going out tonight? His response was quick. I wondered if he had his phone out already and was in the process of doing something.

I nodded, even though he couldn’t see me, and took a long sip of my drink before typing back to him. Yes sir I am. Getting all dressed up too :) After I sent the message, it was clear that I was well on my way to drunk.

I probably should have warned you that I’m out tonight too. So drunk texts might be going both ways tonight. You’ll have to send me a picture ;)

My eyes widened. Were we flirting? Why did this suddenly feel so different from just two friends joking around? Before thinking about it any further and freaking myself out, I replied – Maybe. If you’re lucky you’ll get one. But what’s in it for me? ;)

I pressed the lock button on my phone and tossed it across my bed. I couldn’t believe that I just sent that message. I mean, obviously he’s been drinking and I hoped it was obvious that I had been. But neither of us had really crossed that line since we were both in San Jose. I downed the rest of my drink.

Danielle came bursting into my room with a handful of makeup that she spread out on my dresser. My mouth felt dry despite having finished my rum and coke. I pushed myself up and off my bed, “I need another drink.” I mumbled as I walked past her and towards the kitchen. She yelled at me to hurry up and to make her one too.

Twenty minutes later, both of us were two thirds of the way done getting ready to go out, hair and makeup were done and all we needed to do was change our clothes. Now I understood why Danielle allotted an hour and a half for the two of us to get ready for tonight. We were both dealing with a severe case of the giggles. Likely thanks to the fact that I had just finished my third rum and coke while Danielle was done her second.

The two of us were hunched over on my bed laughing hysterically at something that I couldn’t remember. Danielle’s phone dinged and she had to enter her security code two times before her phone was unlocked. “Shit, Andrea is going to be here in fifteen minutes. You have to get dressed. I have to get dressed.”

I laughed as my best friend stumbled to her feet and ran across the hallway to her room. I rolled back onto my bed and picked up my phone. I wasn’t sure why I insisted on delaying getting ready, but I was going to do it. It wasn’t going to take me too long to put on a dark green dress and a pair of heels.

Silently I fist pumped when I only needed one attempt to get into my phone. The messages icon had a red number three beside it. I pressed the icon and noticed that all three messages were from Logan. After opening up the message, a smile crept onto my face. He sent me a picture of himself along with two messages. The first was sent before the picture I’m sure I can think of something to make it fair. and the second one Wish you were here with me.

He looked amazing in the picture. His hair was that ideal length – a mix of not too long and not too short – it suited him perfectly. He had a dark blue; at least it looked dark blue, dress shirt on with the sleeves rolled up just past his elbows and the first couple of buttons undo. It was also obvious that he took the picture himself.

I put my phone on my bed and quickly got changed. I chalked it up to drunken enthusiasm. The dress covered my shoulders, but was sleeveless. It had a scoop neckline and was fitted all the way down to where it ended just above my knees. I put on a simple silver necklace and my favourite silver bracelet and stepped into my black, two-inch heels – Danielle tried to convince me to get taller shoes but I refused – and smiled at my reflection.

I picked up my phone and pressed the camera application. It only took two attempts before I got a picture I liked and attached it to a message to Logan. The message I typed was quite unlike me – I’m sure you’d rather be here with me :) I shoved my phone into the over the shoulder clutch thing that Danielle got me and headed towards the living room to wait for my best friend.

Tonight would be interesting.

---

After three rum and cokes at the apartment, two shots of tequila, a jägerbomb and three beers at Ruby Skye, I was very drunk and it was only quarter to twelve at night. I flopped into one of the booths the girls and I had for the evening after dancing with Danielle for a couple of songs, until some guy pulled her away to ‘dance’.

I pulled my phone out of my bag and smiled when my lock screen indicated that I had two new messages from Logan. My fingers stumbled around the screen to unlock the device – I needed three attempts for my password this time – and opened my messages.

The first one was from a couple of hours ago, just after we left the apartment – Holy shit Emma. Why am I not in California right now?! It put a smile on my face, beyond the content drunk smile I had permanently right now. Sometimes it was nice to see that you can get a guy as much as he can get you.

The second message made my eyes widen. I know it’s been a while since we done this but Skype? Let me know when you get home. I’ll still be up ;) Did I want to go home and drunken Skype a guy on the other side of the continent? Was this a good idea?

I looked around the club for Danielle, but she was nowhere to be found. Instead, Kristen slid into the booth across from me and had a content smile on her face. Of the fifteen of us at the club, she was one of the more responsible ones. Every year someone took on that role when we were at the club, to make sure no one on our team made a terrible decision and to make sure the girls went home when they needed to.

She had a beer sitting in front of her. “Everything alright Em?”

I gestured with my head for her to come sit beside me. She rolled her eyes, much like Danielle would have, and got up to sit beside me. She stared at me expectantly as she took a sip of her beer.

After sucking in a deep breath, I started. “So there’s this guy.”

Kristen interrupted me, “I knew it! I knew that’s why you weren’t out there with some dude grinding on you. What’s his name?”

“Not the point of the story,” I held a finger up. “It’s not like that. We’re really good friends. He’s in Ontario, you know, Canada and he’s drunk tonight. I’m drunk tonight. And he wants to Skype. Should I go home and talk to him?”

Her eyes widened and she leaned in to speak a little softer to me. “Do you like him?” I shrugged. “Does he like you?” I shrugged again. “So you’re telling me that there’s this guy, who I’m assuming is the one you and Danielle argue about all the time about needing to establish what you two are, and he wants to drunk Skype you?”

My nose scrunched up in confusion. The way Kristen was wording things made my brain hurt. I ran my hand through my hair, “Um, I think that’s the right situation?”

“So you’re saying that you could, theoretically here, go home and find out where the two of you stand even though you probably won’t remember the conversation tomorrow?”

I frowned. “I’m not going to fucking blackout Kristen. I’ve stopped drinking. I’m at the coasting stage of drunkness.”

She raised an eyebrow at me. “So you would remember the conversation tomorrow?”

“Yes I would fucking remember it.”

“Okay, okay,” she held her hands up in surrender. “Three things. First, has anything happened between you two before? Second, do you want something to happen between you two? And finally, you have to finish my beer before you go.”

It was inevitable. I was going to smile wherever I was whenever I thought about the kisses that Logan and I had shared earlier this year. A content sigh passed my lips when I thought about them.

Kristen laughed. “Okay you answered my first two questions. Finish this beer and I’ll text Andrea for you.” She must have noticed the look on my face. “Don’t worry, I’ll make sure I tell Danielle where you went. Emma Kennedy is finally gonna get some answers from her guy!”

---

I will be home in two minutes. Are you still awake? I finally texted Logan back, at least forty-five minutes after he suggested the two of us Skype tonight. I shoved my phone back into the clutch thing and fished out my keys to get into my apartment.

As soon as I was inside, I kicked my heels off and relished in the fact that my feet were now flat on the ground. It felt incredible after three and a half hours of walking and dancing at two inches taller than I normally am.

My phone vibrated in my clutch. I didn’t bother locking my phone this time so I could easily read the response I got – I told you I would be. Do you want to Skype?

How drunk are you? I wanted to know what kind of playing field we were on here. I didn’t want to be significantly drunker than he was when we were talking. I didn’t want to embarrass myself.

I’ve sobered up a little bit since I’ve been home. But I’ll do another shot of tequila if it will make you feel better?

I smiled. Give me five minutes. Oh and make it two shots :)

Only if you do one with me :)

You win.

I went on my toes to reach the bottle of tequila that Danielle and I had in our apartment and grabbed a shot glass before heading to my bedroom. I pulled the clutch off my shoulder and tossed it onto my dresser. After turning on my laptop, I arranged the pillows on my bed so I would have something to lean against and poured myself a shot of tequila.

Skype started up with my MacBook, so it didn’t take long to receive a call from Logan. I pressed the accept button and adjusted my laptop so it was sitting on my lap. “You look amazing,” is how he greeted me this time.

My eyes flickered over him on the screen. His hair was messier than it was in the picture he sent me. His collar wasn’t smooth anymore either. But neither of those things mattered. He still looked fantastic. “You do too,” I spoke softly with a slight smile.

“So,” his voice was quiet. “Tequila?” Without thinking my face scrunched up. I was not a fan of tequila, I only did a shot of it when I was with a group of people and that was the shot we were doing. Whenever I had the choice, I never picked tequila. Logan laughed. “Someone isn’t a fan?”

I reached across to my nightstand to pick up the shot glass I had poured. “No, it’s nasty. It burns on the way down and it doesn’t even taste good.”

He picked up his shot glass and poured one right in front of me. I couldn’t believe I was doing this, not only were we drunken Skyping but we were continuing to drink. He shook his head as he put the bottle down beside him. “On the count of three?”

“What is this high school? We’re adults we toast things when we do shots,” I shook my head with a smirk on my face. Really, I just wanted to see what he was going to say because there was no way I was going to say a toast.

Logan held up his other hand, “Okay, okay I’ll say something.” He ran a hand through his hair before clearing his throat. “Um, okay just let me think for a second.”

“The tequila isn’t going to taste any better Couture,” I teased.

He stuck his tongue out at me. “Okay I got it.” He held up his shot glass and I held mine up. “To you and me and whatever this is between us.”

My eyes widened. I didn’t know what to say to that. My voice was quiet, hesitant and uncertain. “To us.” I nodded and tipped my glass every so slightly as we both shot the tequila.

I didn’t know he if made a face like I did because every time I shoot tequila, my eyes involuntarily shut and I make a scrunched up face. Danielle usually makes fun of me for it and so does my brother. It was one of the first things the two of them bonded over, my inability to shoot tequila without looking fucked up after.

Logan was pouring another shot when I refocused on my laptop. He chuckled, “I said I would do two so I’m doing a second one for you.”

My lips curled into a smile and I wanted to grab one of the pillows beside me and snuggle into it. Whenever I was drunk, I liked to cuddle a lot more than I usually did. I watched as Logan did a second shot – he did make a face after but it didn’t seem that bad, at least not as bad as when I did a shot of tequila.

“Okay, no more tequila,” he moved his laptop off of his lap. I could hear him moving around his room. Then he came back and resituated himself with pillows up against the wall so he could lean against something a little softer, like I was doing too. He put his laptop back on his lap and shook his head. “I just, I can’t believe how amazing you look right now.”

I raised an eyebrow at him. “Are you suggesting I don’t look good other times?”

“What? No! That’s not what I’m saying at all,” he ran his hands over his face and through his hair once more. “Fuck, Emma that’s not it at all. I’ve just, I’ve never seen you like this you know? Looking all you know, sexy and stuff. Not that I’m complaining about how you look other times we’ve Skyped.”

Even though my cheeks were on fire, something I could chalk up to being drunk, I cut him off before he put more of his foot into his mouth. “It’s okay Logan. I don’t dress up very often. I get it.” I spoke just above a whisper. “It’s like the first time I saw you in a suit after one of your games.”

Shit. Shit. Shit. I was now officially busted. I accidentally revealed how attracted I was to him in a suit, even if he wore a simple suit – it didn’t matter – his suits were well tailored and accentuated all the right parts of him.

A smile consumed his entire face. He looked like a little kid in a candy shop. “You like it when I wear suits?” The cat was out of the bag now; I might as well go with it. I nodded with a smirk. “Really? I’m so plain with them though.”

I shrugged. I didn’t care that he thought he looked plain in his suits. “You have this classic look when you wear it. Although if I can have any say in the matter, I may be introducing you to some more colours.”

“What kind of colours are we talking here? All my suits are grey, black or dark blue.”

I shook my head. Only Logan and I could go from kind of, sort of, maybe flirting to seriously talking about suits. I raised an eyebrow at him again and tilted my head to the side, silently questioning him – really this is what you want to talk about?

“Yeah, we’ll talk about that later,” he nodded and licked his lips.

Silence overcame the two of us. I didn’t know what to say next. I watched his gaze on the screen as it traveled over me; it felt like he was actually here with me. A shiver tingled down my spine and ran my hands along my bare arms. I smiled slightly at him.

“Cold?” He asked quietly. I bobbed my head. Even though it was because he kept staring at me, I wasn’t going to acknowledge that he was the one making me twitch uncontrollably. He opened his mouth to say something then promptly shut it. He had a coy look on his face.

“What were you going to say?” I prompted. I was curious as to what he was thinking; especially with the reaction it gave him.

“It’s nothing,” he smiled. “Don’t worry about it Em.”

I sighed and ran my hand through my hair. “Come on Logan, you can tell me.”

Logan swallowed loudly and licked his lips. His eyes were shut as he took a deep breath and let it out slowly. “It crossed my mind what I would do if we were in the same place…”

Before I could respond he continued.

“And then I thought about that time you kissed me in the bar…”

Of all the things I didn’t want to think of at this moment, he had to bring up that kiss. It was definitely the best kiss I’ve ever had – not that there are many competitors in the field – but still. It was spontaneous, it pushed me out of my element and it was perfect.

I didn’t have a response to what Logan said. Instead the kiss that was firmly entrenched in my mind was playing on repeat. The way he held me close to him…

His voice pulled me momentarily from my thoughts. I almost had to strain to hear him say, “I think about that a lot…”

“I do too,” I whispered back.

“What made you do it?”

My heart was now pounding in my chest. I swallowed loudly and sucked in a deep breath. There was no way I could tell him it was because I didn’t like seeing him with that other girl. Or maybe I should? I licked my lips and half smiled before answering. My eyes were locked on his; at least it felt like they were. “I wanted to kiss you again.”

Logan groaned. He ran his hands over his face, through his hair and back over his face. He left his hands covering his face so I could barely hear him. “You’re killing me Emma.”

“How?” It was all I could muster. I spoke so quietly, I wondered if he could hear me.

He pulled one of his hands away from his face. His other hand ran through his hair. Just as he opened his mouth to say something, the screen went blank. I was now staring at my Skype home screen telling me that our call ended.

My phone vibrated and lit up beside me. I grabbed it and unlocked the screen with ease. My internet went out :(

Frantically, I typed back – Are you going to get it back? I desperately wanted to know how exactly I was apparently killing him. The topic of conversation was finally getting to the two of us – what we were, what we wanted – it had to be an upcoming aspect. I wanted to know. I needed to know.

I don’t think so. It’s pretty windy out. We lost power too. Fuck.

I slammed my fist into my bed. I moved my laptop off of my lap and onto my bedside table. I wasn’t going to need it anymore tonight. I wanted to keep talking to you… I crawled off my bed and opened one of the drawers on my dresser to get out a t-shirt and pair of shorts for bed.

Believe me. I wanted nothing more than to keep talking to you. I miss you so much Emma.

A feeling of warmth shot through me – it was like a tequila shot – but it didn’t have the scrunched up face or unpleasant aftertaste. I couldn’t help but smile at his words. I didn’t hesitate when typing back to him. I miss you too Logan. I can’t wait until you’re back in California. Only thirty days :)

Just as I slid the zipper of my dress down my side, he texted me back. You have a countdown?

Of course I do :)

I slipped out of my dress and put on the t-shirt and pair of shorts before wondering into the bathroom to scrub all my makeup off and brush my teeth. I twisted my hair up into a bun and picked up my phone before crawling onto my bed once more. This time, I pulled the sheets back and crawled underneath. I slid my thumb across the screen and effortlessly typed in my code. I have one too now :) I can’t wait to see you. You have no idea Emma ;)

I think I have a pretty good idea.

Haha. Okay, well I guess I better get some sleep. Goodnight. Sweet dreams. Miss you.

My fingers tapped the screen as I typed quickly. Yeah me too. Goodnight. Sweet dreams and miss you too Logan.

Emma?

I raised an eyebrow at his last text. Yeah?

I think when I see you next might just top that kiss in the bar. Goodnight.

Right. How was I supposed to sleep now with that out in the universe? How would he top that kiss? Was that his way of saying that he wanted to kiss me when he saw me next? A frustrated groan passed my lips as I rolled to my side to plug my phone in and turn off my lamp. In an attempt to get some clarification about Logan and me, I only ended up with more questions.